he didnt care for her officeits décor  its lightness  she was proud telling him she had a budget to make it up for herself  problem with that boast was that she was entirely on displaydown to her fucking knickknacks  we all do  where we livewhat we readour knickknacksour highbrowour tacky  women dislikesome recoil from tacky  apparently it was made for children and men

any superficial interests that may have reared in his heads waned  then dissipated

he didnt think he had a particularly high bar or threshold

he said as much

his daughters said otherwise  Seemingly a single facet can throw you off the scent Dad

For example

Alright  Vegetarian  You wouldnt see a woman if she was a vegetarian

A veggieNo I wouldnt

There you go  Your example  Checkmarked  Xed out  their hands acting it out   Buhbye  

No I have to disagree  Thats overall health   If someone cant open their mouthslook in a mirror an see their teeththeir canines incisors the mouth of an omnivore   well  if someone can delude themselves that they arent what they are then theres no telling what else they might think or do 

Besides  a woman who doesnt eat meat  why would they put a cock in their mouth

Oh for cryinoutloud Dad

Dont oh for cryinoutloud me Youre adults  Tell me youve put away childish things  Daddy  Yes Im your father an your mother an I raised you to be a competent intelligent reasoned adult therefore I treat you as adults  I dont pull punchesparticularly pull punches with people who I deem are my equals an better  An youre both better than either meno big hurtle or your mother a big hurtle  But thats the synthesis we wanted  practical  devoid of as much prejudice as we could muster because we came out of a lot it ourselves  We werent going to propagate it

You gonna come up for air

Ah  you know mesometimes I get on a tear an cant shaddup  Youve heard it all before

they nodded  Yes  Thats exactly what our Daddy told us

Stop

     theyd laugh joyfully

yeah  he tried to look past her polish dress an makeup hoping she might be natural under itplaying to some enforced dressup

           he was wrong

she sipped the KoolAid

he saw her mouth was movinghe missed what she said he was too busy listening to his girlstheir accusation  Im sorry  I was distracted  What was it you said

she repeated herself

I think youve broken the rules

Rules

Yes That when you first meet leave politics religion an sex for some other time

I thought this was some other time

This  Midday  Sunlight  This

We know each other . .

. . Superficially  Met through casual acquaintances

Friends

Perhaps friends of yours  Theyre only casually acquainted with me  Hello  How are you  Nice weather todayhuh

Theyre  usually   ah . .

. . Selective  Canaries in a coal mine 

Thats a little severe

Theyre a little severe  Hence only acquaintances

You dont approve of my politics

No

Why

I dont think hes allowed to try an coopt spirituals

I dont follow

he cleared his throat  then softly began singing  He thinks hes got the whole world  in his hands  He thinks hes got the whole world  in his hands  the itty bitty baby  in his hands  you an me brother  in his hands  you an me sister

in his hands  he thinks hes got the whole wide world in his hands

You began saying  but caught yourself   then obliquely you went on to say he has things in the palm of his hands   but I think you wanted to say  has things by the short hairs or by the balls  yaknow more vigorous more visual  which naturally I think one would be incited to say  invigorated saying

Instead  in your strongholdyour place you censored yourselfwhy would you do that  youre certainly sure of yourself  which is usually an attractive quality in a person  So why

There was something in your eyes as if you glinted an opening  I suppose I wanted to try and defuse it

No  You dont know me enough to know that that fuse is particularly short or Im hairtriggered regarding it

it wasnt an eerie silence 

there wasnt anything to talk about

turning towards the office door to leave he said  You have nice digs then began humming the spiritual

1434,  Saturday,  3  3. 18

cunts a comediana wannabe magician

                                        gotta be  the way he keeps pulling things out of his ass youd think it was a bottomless pit Look! Nothing up my sleeves!  Presto!  Presto! would be so easy  maybe he thought it was

however it bordered on Abracadabra! sighMiddle Eastern  he cant invoke that  thats a nono with whitey

anyway  prior to his fantastically uninformed tariff boner he announced his 2020 (thats good vision  Id rate his myopticks 20/200  mewling blindness  somebody give the man a canewoudjah?)

                                                                                      he announced his 2020 campaign 

ohgoodness by 2020 his administration presidency will be a flaccid flyspecked miserya gray corpse begging to be kicked in a hole an buried

I dont think zombies are allowed to run for President to pursue Life Liberty or Happiness   

those are our unalienable rights

1527,  Friday,  2  3. 18  

Spearhead  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHe4-q4IpKw

it was raininghe couldnt get his ass out of bed  if he had a woman beside him he wouldnt

rain spattered on the windowthumped on the roofrapped at the walls  he heard Hendrix muse Hey man took a look out in world an see whas happenin  a stoned voice answered him Hey man  its raining   inhaling holdin it Yeaah I see whachamean brother

rain took him places

                     or maybe because the rain was from other places then shoved out of the sky  that it took him places

he changed positionscame off his back  he laid above an empty steel box frame that tittered on the woodslatted floor through a hazy wall that kept him hunkered down at its foot so his weight didnt flop him over its edge outside falling to the ground from a second storey thadhurt  aroused he changed positions  a crimsom room golddetailed wallpanels  two fetching women in silk nightgowns he was nakedthey twisted an curled like snakes in his arms thadfeltgood  he changed positions again  a big mountain cat padded into the bedroomleapt onto the bed an laid at the back of his kneeswarmed his blood  a visual a chromed handgun in a mans handsleeved arm cuff held pointing down  beyond it he watched him walk in halls an rooms he recognisedhis childhood homehis grandmothers junior high polished linoleum hallway  hunting him  then him in various snapshotsfrozen listening to hardheeled footsteps muted footsteps  he had no idea who had the advantage over the other  his hands were empty  he moved to find something for a weaponthe footsteps followed

bitch about California rain was it rarely fell in the company of thunder an lightning

he could have used either now to wake him

                                             he left the halls the rooms an buildings he was followed in  he crossed wet grass an made a tall sheltering forest across a highway road where the rain dripped incoherently from blackenedbranches an deepgreen leaves  there he understood he had the advantage  there he found a batsized crooked branch a lethal equality

                                  then a hand was at his throat he was in a perfumed bed  it ran downstroked his chest belly it sought his cock he was in the warmgrasp of a young cinnamon womanbated breath at his shoulder  he rolled left to touch her  like running his hand through warmed bathwater oil an scent

it was raining

                rainy day dream away

1111,  Thursday,  1 3. 18

Rainy Day, Dream Away  Hendrix  https://vimeo.com/170063784

Rainy Day, Dream Away conversation missing  disregard the Japanese horror  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b0E6fLJixUs

he emptied the last bit of a bottle of Irish whiskey into a frosted Hazel Atlas shotglass in the manner an deliberation he managed his carbon footprint

                               so small it could be argued he didnt exist                                                                                  

the bottle assend up  the last of its contents coerced dri b  b  l   i   n   g     o    u    t

dripping

        one two three four fivedrip one two three four five drip one two three four five  drip one two three four five six sevendrip one two three four five six seven drip one two three four five six seven  drip one two three four five six seven eight ninedrip one two three four five six seven eight nine drip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten elevendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twentyonedrip  then he counted the upturned bottle beyond twentytwo thirtybonedry  it hadnt another drip remaining  bonedry  contents expended   

it just takes a little bit of patiencea little bit of time 

his girlfriend accused him of damnnear Zen patience

Zen HOW! 

No  he didnt buy into thathe didnt

                                    he was simple like Maxwell House  Good to the Last Drop

he was adamant  any last dropany last breath was a worthwhile wait 

You should go  He has no idea youre even here

his buddy Bobbys mother said that to him

he seethed

               an then some queer calm rose in himwashed over him like a tidesomething deep an viscous inside him  its quiet reasoned that she was deranged by her sons imminent death

she had never been good to Bobby 

Bobby was crippled up in the womb at birth by polio

presented he was wiped clean then given godparents a man and a woman from the waitingroom an his Last Rites

when he survived his parents must have determined they couldnt treat him well  maybe they assumed theyd die before him an left on his own he needed to be selfreliant  they gave Bobby subsistence

him dying before them tore a huge hole in their strategy

If onlyhuh

she was eating a huge plate of regret with all the trimmings  vomiting   then back again to the table for another huge plate  an vomiting  an again ad nauseam

No  Im staying  When he last had his eyes open he saw me  Anif his eyes open again hell see me exactly right where Id been   He knows Im here   I aint goin nowhere

he was there to Bobbys last breath though they were so shallow he couldnt hear them an until his last heartbeat when a machine SCREAMED his heart stopped

                                        he could hardly believe he had to tell the nurse to kill its fucking SCREAM

maybe death row nurses were callous

Yah baby he said to his girlfriend I believe most things are worth waiting onare worth my patience

0106 an 1300,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  2. 18

In the Fishtank  Sparklehorse & Fennesz  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkdbU7rvXr8

Supercunt

what would that outfit look like

                                an what would cunt look like stuffed in its colourful sausage casing an flowing cape

would he give Black Panther a run for his money

he read the quote numerous times “I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.” however he always preferred context when pull-quotes were used  what he saw on television was cunt enunciating “You don’t know until you test it(mind you cunt had five opportunities to test himself  Vietnam   Ahforgot  bone spurs), but I think, I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would have done that too . .”  

lest we forget he was addressing thirtynine Governors who he coopted to share his victimisation-play at not being Super enough to warp time an be outside of Marjory Stoneman Douglas(. . the Everglades is a river not a swamp . . ) High School when the shooting began 

the assembled governors were too polite  they should have immediately said something or quietly rose an left the room

thereby skewing the Supercunts opticks

                                             hes a National disgrace

1106,  Twosday,  27  2. 18

1058 days or fewer remaining

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/02/brave-trump-id-disarm-parkland-shooter-with-bare-hands.html

Genesis  we need a Supercunt video please  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHmH1xQ2Pf4

she didnt attract himwasnt attractive to him  but he thoroughly enjoyed her affable laissez faire attitude towards thingstowards life itself  

however  she was attracted to him

whenever the opportunity presented itself she loved relating the story of the first time she ever laid eyes on him
I wanted right then and there to fuck himtake him around the corner on the grass in front of the Mission and have my way with him the xrated version was always the first out thing of her mouth

as it was it was Mardi Gras night in the city the parade concluded the debauchery beginning children were taken home out of harms way while adults prowled the steep an smell of pheromones washed the air the night sexually blatant      

she saw him  he saw her  she stopped fastalmost whiplash before the plateglass at the window counter where he was taking dinner

she put her hands on the glass an although he couldnt hear herhe watched her expressions  she began crying like a cat in heat  her friends who were out with her lustily attested to itlaughing  She was at sudden all caughtup in him 

she scratched the window with her lacquered pearlescent nails in long exaggerated pulls

he watched  it would have been impolite to continue eating  an as her mates laid hands oncajoling her to move onmove her away she suddenly relaxedacquiesced  nodded an turned  but when they let go of her she turned backlunging at the windowpulling her blouse up over her ample breasts an leaning against itflattened them against its chill

he saw her flesh goosebumpher nipples an aureoles firm

                                                          delightfully unexpected

then her saw her pert fast smile over their swelled topsover the creamanfloral fabric at her throat 

he mouthed Thank you very much Im flattered

He saidthough I couldn’t hear him  Thank you very much. I’m flattered.  Man, he could have been ohsomuchmore than flattered that nightIdve tried to snap his spine onewayoranother. I would have reduced him to a shell of a man.

Then I would have eaten his shell.

she was known for her hyperbole

but she wasnt always 

months later while at work he was called by management upstairs into a conference to fill a empty seat for a candidates final interview 

Christ. Just observe. You don’t have to ask any questionsjust observe and give us your candidwe know how candid you are, give us your impression.

that was the second time he saw her

she was under control demur intelligent provided thoughtful indepth answers he recognised she knew there was the time to be professional an time to let it all hang out which unbeknownst to the panel he sat among that he witnessed each

after she left after shaking everyones handsbetraying nothing if she did remember himhe figured she did the panel coalesced asking him first so he could return to work what he thought I think shes a diamond in the rough an can be faceted admirably become a keen asset for the company 

no risk 

he wouldnt be working with her

just in the same complex

on rare occasions they saw each otherexchanged pleasantries obviously the first time they metintroduced themselves she asked if he remembered her  Ohyes Mary  If I wanted I can close my eyes an see every fascinating curve of you

she blushed

he told her the colour looked good on her

a year and a half later he heard it through the inevitable grapevine that she was engaged oddly enough was going to marry a Mormon

a year later she was pregnant 

he ran into her in the parking lot at the rear of the business  she had earned a months parking place awarded for being the companys employee of the month

she looked wonderful

                      he had a covert thing for pregnant women believing them the epitomethe blossom of womanhood

he told her that he had sixtysix cousins an for years on end he found himself as a boy in the midst of pregnant auntstheir bellies bumping his headhis head bumped backanforth between bellies  the warm scent of breastfeeding

she said she was going to breastfeed

he said Best thing for a baby an not so shabby for daddy

Daddy?

Hellyah  Why is baby entitled to all the benefits I helped provide

Guess I never thought about it.

he laughed an regaining his composure  I didnt think anything got past you Youre a lusty girl

I am, though apparently my lust simmers comparative to yours.

I got an excuse reason I was breastfed an Ive had two babies Mighty tastyWaaaah  laughing again he held the door open for her as they enter the office

Human Resources notified all staff that she had a baby girl she would take a six-week maternity leave then return to work

probably two months later as he sat beside the creek across from the Mission its inviting grass where he typically took his lunchhour with books an pen an paper she approached him  Hey!

Hey Mary You look great  A good birth

Yes. Apparently, like my mother, I have the makings to be a good baby machine. I’m lactating so copiously I’m donating.

USDA Prime

In effect, yes. You’d be surprised how many women unfortunately can’t produce milk.

I suppose I would

Anyways, I don’t want to interrupt your lunch. I brought you a little something. she set a brown paper lunch bag down at his elbow  It’s always good to see you.

Thank you

Youre welcome.

he returned to a particularly passage he couldnt put down until it was resolved

then he turned his attention to the paper bag

within were two sealable plastic pouches filled with opaque mothers milk

she wrote her personal email on one in permanent marker an briefly If you like, plenty more where that came from.

would he break his lunch rule Not eating at lunch  technicallyhowever he wouldnt be eating

he undid the doublezipped extrawide seal

inhaled its scent through his nose

he took a deep pullhalf its six ounces

as he remembered Tasty

she was willing to hook him up 

he wasnt one to say no or look a gift horse in the mouth Pity though he thought not to imbibe from its source 

but thatd just incur all sorts of troublepossibly mayhem

professionally

personally

good thing he wasnt overtly attracted to her

late Sunday evening,  25  2. 18

1607,  Monday,  26  2. 18

a character in a film he watched asked What do you know about death

the question lingered in his mind long after he heard it

he had trouble remembering which filmhe held his head in his hands inspecting its features much as Hamlet did as he looked into the vacant orbs an over the flatbone of Yoricks skullwha was the film  a moth of recognition flutteredbeating white motes in black space  but nothing came of it   What do you know about death  asked of a contemporary woman

he wished he could remember  it vexedhaunted him

he knew death

he didnt inflict death except to eat

he thought if people wanted to eat meat they ought to kill an butcher the animal they ate

he wondered then  how many people would eat meat

butchers were turned into slaughterhouses that have been turned into meat factories

animal flesh a cog in a machine horrifed by the many murders of its brethren before its very eyes  

terror infecting meat

he preferred his terror blackanblue

                                                      what did he know about death

he killed an butchered his share of beef fowl rabbit somehow fish seemed different so a repetitive birthday wish he made as he blew out candles on his pie was that fish for a day had vocal cords an could shriekaghast ripped from the wateriron in their jaws an faces  sometimes the hook swallowedin their throats  SCREAMING when thin knives were stuck in their vents disemboweled  So what was your wish? Cant  If I tell you it wont come true an I reallyreally want it to come true there are worse things to wish for

he never did kill an butcher pigs an lambs  however he rarely ate eitheras a matter of fact the only time he ever ate lamb was growing up in his parents home an when he returned East to visit them  

his parents adored lamb

                           then also ethnic Eastern European he discovered that he was very fondthat he had much in common with Mexicans in California their cuisine  that they also relished organ meat the brain liver kidneys heart sweetbreads bone marrow  when you killed an animal you ate everything    Harhar  people thought he was joking when he said if someone was stupid enough to break into his house while he was home hed eat free for months  human beingsdespite their thinking are part of the food chain  thats why he took umbrage when a mountain lion took down a human being an authorities went out an killed a lion

                                                       he thought We aint special

what did he know about death

he knew enough to get byhed lost scores of relatives  he was in the hospital room when his best friend died  later when his wife died  he was right beside many of his cats when they died

he knew dead was dead

he knew religion was great gouts of smoke blown up peoples asses  which however attested surely to the titillation sensuality of the anus

No
   he wasnt going to Hell

it didnt exist

death returned you to the stars

Thursday evening,  22  2. 18

1349,  Sunday,  25  2. 18

his evolution on Trump it pains him to utter his name                               

there was the vomitous Trump of the last centuryearly this century

                                                                     who could have died an all he would have noticed was that the air smelled less like garbage

then there was Drumpf  he embraced his German immigrant namecowardly discarded

then cunt

Kurt Andersen quoted H. L. Mencken in the Baltimore Evening Sun (1925) in his book Fantasyland

“The way to deal with superstition (chicanery an lying) is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous.”

soon Network was going to pull cunts dismal reality show off the Market wouldnt be soon enough for him

Thursday afternoon,  22  2. 18

1247,  Saturday,  24  2. 18

1061 days remaining or less