a character in a film he watched asked What do you know about death

the question lingered in his mind long after he heard it

he had trouble remembering which filmhe held his head in his hands inspecting its features much as Hamlet did as he looked into the vacant orbs an over the flatbone of Yoricks skullwha was the film  a moth of recognition flutteredbeating white motes in black space  but nothing came of it   What do you know about death  asked of a contemporary woman

he wished he could remember  it vexedhaunted him

he knew death

he didnt inflict death except to eat

he thought if people wanted to eat meat they ought to kill an butcher the animal they ate

he wondered then  how many people would eat meat

butchers were turned into slaughterhouses that have been turned into meat factories

animal flesh a cog in a machine horrifed by the many murders of its brethren before its very eyes  

terror infecting meat

he preferred his terror blackanblue

                                                      what did he know about death

he killed an butchered his share of beef fowl rabbit somehow fish seemed different so a repetitive birthday wish he made as he blew out candles on his pie was that fish for a day had vocal cords an could shriekaghast ripped from the wateriron in their jaws an faces  sometimes the hook swallowedin their throats  SCREAMING when thin knives were stuck in their vents disemboweled  So what was your wish? Cant  If I tell you it wont come true an I reallyreally want it to come true there are worse things to wish for

he never did kill an butcher pigs an lambs  however he rarely ate eitheras a matter of fact the only time he ever ate lamb was growing up in his parents home an when he returned East to visit them  

his parents adored lamb

                           then also ethnic Eastern European he discovered that he was very fondthat he had much in common with Mexicans in California their cuisine  that they also relished organ meat the brain liver kidneys heart sweetbreads bone marrow  when you killed an animal you ate everything    Harhar  people thought he was joking when he said if someone was stupid enough to break into his house while he was home hed eat free for months  human beingsdespite their thinking are part of the food chain  thats why he took umbrage when a mountain lion took down a human being an authorities went out an killed a lion

                                                       he thought We aint special

what did he know about death

he knew enough to get byhed lost scores of relatives  he was in the hospital room when his best friend died  later when his wife died  he was right beside many of his cats when they died

he knew dead was dead

he knew religion was great gouts of smoke blown up peoples asses  which however attested surely to the titillation sensuality of the anus

No
   he wasnt going to Hell

it didnt exist

death returned you to the stars

Thursday evening,  22  2. 18

1349,  Sunday,  25  2. 18

his evolution on Trump it pains him to utter his name                               

there was the vomitous Trump of the last centuryearly this century

                                                                     who could have died an all he would have noticed was that the air smelled less like garbage

then there was Drumpf  he embraced his German immigrant namecowardly discarded

then cunt

Kurt Andersen quoted H. L. Mencken in the Baltimore Evening Sun (1925) in his book Fantasyland

“The way to deal with superstition (chicanery an lying) is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous.”

soon Network was going to pull cunts dismal reality show off the Market wouldnt be soon enough for him

Thursday afternoon,  22  2. 18

1247,  Saturday,  24  2. 18

1061 days remaining or less

she was harried

                 setting her items down on the counter she sighed  deeply   somewhat frustrated   upclose he saw she was hairyed her clothing

Didnt your mother tell you youre not supposed to hold animals when you wear black

she cast her eyes to her breast her sleevesshe grasped her sweater at the waist pulling it away from her body saw more of the animal shed  OhforChristssake! I look like a yeti.

Aint that bad

Damn near. Dont try to humor me please.

                                           It aint even my animal, its my son’s girlfriend’s guinea pig, he gave it to her, she wanted a guinea pig badly, she just broke up with him and gave it back to him.  Its her guinea pig. a deeper sigh

Youll excuse me  Why is this your problem   Its her guinea pig

Awh. Her parents kicked her out of the house and she’s between places. She can't care for a guinea pig and herself while she moves around between friends.  They didn’t really kick her out, it’s a long story.

Ill not pry

Thank you. It’s shit, it’s shit. I hate getting caught up in shit that isn’t mine. I’ve always had to deal with my shit. 

It’s not even a nice guinea pig.

Not nice Youre covered in fur

sigh I laid down on the couch to take a quick nap this afternoon before heading out on errands. It climbed up on me while I was asleep, the most affection its ever offered me . .

. . While you were asleep  Sounds like a punchline to a Joan Rivers joke

Joke?

Yeah  Her husband told her he was really enjoyed their sex lifeit was fantastic Then she began waking up

groan

Groan  Thats funny

I didn't care for Joan Rivers.

I liked her humour  I understand they made her into Tupperware when she died

OhmyGod!

No  Thats her joke Im just repeating it

I didn’t like her humor.

I only heard her occasionallybut I always laughed  She was a cutup she was cutupthat I dont understand  But back to your sons girlfriends guinea pig  I got a solution

A solution?

Yes  Its not a nice guinea pig

No. It’s not nice.

Do you see your son solving this problem

No. I’m caring for it.

Then I have your solution

Which is?

Eat it

Whaat?

They eat guinea pigs in Peru  My daughter visited an she shared a guinea pig with her boyfriend  Said it was delicious

I don’t think so.

You dont think Peruvians eat guinea pigs  or you dont think you could eat a guinea pig

I have a groundskeeper who is from Peru. I’ll ask him.

Then also ask him for a good recipewrite it downgo into the houseconfront the guinea pig read it the recipe  except you leave out the part where its an ingredient  Betcha it hears thatan understands it  Itll treat you real nice

A guinea pig.

Dont make that faceyouve eaten rabbit

Ah, yes. Yes, I’ve eaten rabbit.

Squirrel  Its a rodentlike a guinea pig  a rabbit  Unconventional meatbut meat nonetheless

My family back East eats squirrel

Ive eaten squirrel many times Raised in the Midwest

And you liked it?

Tastes like chicken  You can eat a guinea pig

I don’t know.

Lets run the gamut Rat

Yu  rat?

Yup  Think about ityou raise youre own ratsfeed em well why wouldnt you eat rat

You say rat. I think of wharf rats or sewer rats.

Youre thinking wrong  What you ought to think  wait for it    wait    free range rat   Free range animalsya pay a premium per pound  Just saying

Oh. My. God.

Betcha they taste like chicken too

Thursday evening,  22  2. 18

1354,  Friday,  23  2. 18

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2013/03/12/174105739/from-pets-to-plates-why-more-people-are-eating-guinea-pigs

it was the little things that got himthat got her why  instinctually  they gravitated to one another despite the gulf in their years

their relationship was dumb luck

they confided in each other it was unexpected

                                               an when people met themwere put off by them  tried to elaborate poorly  enunciate poorly  their presence existence nearly simultaneously they said Unexpected  saving the others face

                                                                                                     still after all these years

she was unable to make the film

she was laid up  had been assaulted  was recovering from broken bones by an unknown assailant  a coward

he wondered if coward was provocation enough these days a pretty big word

The Shape of Water

hed been anxious the film would depart the art house before he had a chance to see it on a big screen

he checked online twice that day to confirm it was playing an was still beside himselfalmost couldnt believe it was still playing as he walked up to the ticket window  A ticket for Water

from behind him his brother-in-law said  Senior

he looked at the young man behind the glassbehind the circular satin anodised no-draft speak-thru  Whats senior

Senior is sixty, sir.

Well  got that beat

Couldn’t tell by looking at you, sir. Eight dollars, please.

Deal  Thank you

The Shape of Water is in theatre number two, sir.

Thank you again

You’re welcome, sir

Youre a polite sonofabitch arent you

I am, sir.

his brother-in-law Fourth Quarter First Time Out stepped up to the plateglass  Senior please  Water

Eight dollars, please, sir.

the transaction concluded they entered

Fourth Quarter First Time Out went to the Refreshments counter for popcorn and a Coke  Anything for you

Naw  I dont want to be distracted by anything  Thank you  he spoke to his backhe turned immediately when he said Nawwhich didnt bother him  Fourth Quarter First Time Out was usually direct an impatient  little things

there was a short line at Refreshments  his brother-in-law turned back to him an he threw a quick thumb up over his shoulderinclined his head mouthed To the can  his brother-in-law nodded

the walls soft amber were painted with film scenes and portraitures of classic Hollywood starswhen the stars were elegant  Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade directed him to the Men’s Room  Lauren Bacall Slim You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow. directed women to their Room

the bathrooms fixtures were from the Fifties  if it aint broke dont fix it  a handsome stalwart bathroom  octagon-tiled floor ceramic baseboards bulbous metal fittings that fit nicely in ones hand  the pedestal urinal roared when you flushed it its cake did somersaults you had to be a slob if you missed an pissed on the floor he wondered if slob was provocation enough these days

he joined his brother-in-law in Theatre Two ten rows back dead center  an aisle ran behind them  up from it were two more rows five seats wide  theirs were ten

Would you like some popcorn  his brother-in-law offered

No thank you

they yapped

in about ten the houselights dimmed an short film trailers began  art house fare  he remained astonished that the local cinemas hadnt picked up The Shape of Wateryet he was grateful  he preferred the intimate setting a jazz setting

the film began

it mesmerised him

                  suddenlyonehundredantwentythreeminuteslater  it was over

as the credits began to rollpeople standing he began applauding enthusiastically  he froze the standers  among the three dozen still in their seats they began applauding too  a smattering   then asif he gave permission more began to applaud an those who were standing began applaudingacknowledging the filmtheir intimate witness 

the house filled with applause  an happy voices   

he applauded first he applauded last he was still applauding when Fourth Quarter First Time Out stood upquietly waited

Now that was film he said as he stood

Film  A filmnow that was a film  Fourth said

No  Film  An edifice to Art

Fourth had been a science math teacher  yet he missed that the laboratory was called OCCAM  when problem-solvingcompeting hypothetical answersselect the one with the fewest assumptions  machinery with the fewest moving parts  or otherwise Ockham  William of Ockham  Thomas Aquinass adversarywho struck down his synthesis of faith and reason  Occam Ockham believed a heretic by the Catholic Church a fideist who believed God was a manner of faith not knowledge

the little things

Day-between-Two-Ts evening,  21  2. 18

1256,  Thursday,  22  2. 18

To Have And Have Not  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY15R3yHBEI

what would it take to liven up a drab graygreen Frankenstein slab of concreteslabs that grocery hardware bar an megastores trafficked on

he had a brisk idea

                    it humoured him to look past the shrugging unimaginative shoulders of coworkers an superiorhe loved their immaculateassumption that they were superior because the title they were given alluded to assumed a superior status 

superiors  when they got to know himsome quicker than others they usually provided him leeway  likely because he looked askance when they outlined the company strategies that they refused to question

                                                                                            then he didnt have a mirror to see his expression reflected in  if he did he would have recognised Yawanna take your status outside an you can demonstrate your superiority to me

                                    unsaid  Ill assume you obviously assume the companys gonna pay for the damages youll incurthe reconstructive plastic surgery to fashion a reasonable facsimile thereof of your nose eyes jaw  you should be cautioned to rememberplease  that a reasonable facsimile thereof isnt you as you were  youll never be as pretty as you are now  Guaranteed

some spine are made of malleable aluminum

he assumed his superior recognised his scarred eyebrows an cheekbones his pugnacious ears his queerlyhealed broken fingers an knuckles

                    a no-ones-fool exec should also have recognised his unflinching steelblue eyesthe no-compromise set of his jaw  

he saw in the pretty exec that somebody ate his lunchthat he went hungrythat he hadnt the balls to rat on a bully  he was fearful   Why    Louisville sluggers werent expensiveChrist he had his old mans brass knuckles from his Miami insurance dayshis dads blackjack sapthose rudimentary equalisers that blatant assured a kind of level playing field  yes times were different then  nobody got shot or stabbed    

yah  somebody ate his lunch an now he thought he was gettin back what he lost

that never comes back

maybe he was wrong

so to snaz up the Caspar Milquetoast concrete floorhis shop  he didnt share his solution with his superior

he didnt ask for permission

he went to the local Planned Parenthood junior college four-year college an amassed more colourful packets of condoms than he thought he could 

he cut a hole in his pocket

he scattered the bright packets through the hole down his leg

security cameras would record litter on the floorscattered in the aisles but nothe had to admit  not the clever method of distribution

his halfacre of dull concrete was a liquorstore

                                               the only liquorstore in town that provided free bennies

at the conclusion of an intimate evening of imbibing

                                                     there was no reason to be stupid

   

1734,  Sunday,  18  2. 18

1121,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  21  2. 18

he wasnt one to deface public or private propertynot carelessly heave or splash whitewash or squeeze aerosol cans spraying ejaculating colourful graffiti on drab metal brick or cinderblock canvas  many hed seen were unmistakably art

yet    occasionally              he made exceptions

                                                       when he was exceptionally goaded

this particular goading was in the form of a large whitepainted wood sign which stood perpendicular to the towns main dragthe drag hemmed in by very tall one hundred year old street curbs of quarried stone 

a driveway cut up before the sign tasteful shrubbery at its knees into a substantial parking lot  one hed never seen filled  which provided for a business complex that was built in a Western-motif  one couldnt help but imagine that all its entries were made through swinging saloon doors 

businesses within could advertised on large handpainted panels screwed into place  he had a besieging temptation to call them shingles  as when someone modestly hangs up their shingle for business

but there was nothing modest about them

                                             he thought their overt nature might have been better scrutinised

facing it it read

                         LOS PADRES FOSTER FAMLY SERVICES                            (BLANK)

                                              MASSAGE                                                   SIEMENS

                                               (BLANK)                                                      (BLANK)

                                               (BLANK)                                         AAHANA LIFE COACHING

FAMLY killed himthe fact that it was even hung  he couldnt be the only one who recognised its misspelling Isnt that quaint? Nobody does quaint like these small historic towns. an he recognised it serially as he walked past it  to and fro  fourfive days a week on his way to the gym

he tried his damnedest to stay his hand 

he quarreled with himself

                           Who elseif not me is going to bother to stand up to silence ignorance

then  besides the selfinflicted Fuck you I refuse to take it another day  his quiet moral self chiding his active moral self  last night a paintbrush and a pint of white paint found their way into his hands  they simply materialisedGawd sent  he didnt really deface the sign  rather he edited ithed argue he edited it if he were caught  but common sense told him if young men in hoodies could pummel women in broad daylight break bones scar their faces an walk scottfree  the police say they were stymied They aint dead the police refused to be proactive  perhaps because reactive meant they were saving the community money thenreally who the fuck is going to pay any attention to white paint edits

                                              v

                              LOS PADRES FOSTER FAMLY SERVICES                         (BLANK)

                                              ?

                                                   MASSAGE                                                   S EMEN

                                                    (BLANK)                                                    (BLANK)

                                                    (BLANK)                                           AAH      F       ACHING

he carved the v and ? into the panel with his pocket knife

1600,  Monday,  19  2. 18

1147,  Twosday,  20  2. 18

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.