Yasee that

Huh

I asked if ya saw that  Along the side of the road

Im driving  Why would I see something along the side of the road

Because yare drivingHow do ya drive tunnelvision  Yareyes are supposed to be constantly working sideview mirror rearview sideview sideview rearview Who the fuck taught ya to drive I was taught correctly

Whoddafuck taught ya to drive

I dont remember  They picked me up at our house

Ya didnt take Drivers Ed at high school

No

No

No  I told you they came by the house and picked me up

I  I dont know what to say  Ya never saw the Drivers Ed films where they sliced human brains like meatloaf showed dismembered bodies severed limbs inside an outside of crashed cars a human head sitting perfectly upright on the side of a road looking like it was modeling to become a car manufacturers hood ornament

Hood ornament

Cars used to sport fantastic hood ornaments  elongated   standing still they inclined ya to think they were speedingbuffeting blunt headwinds soaring in blue jet streams  gave every indication of speed

No

Ya fuckin missed out

Ornamentshood ornaments   Can say that I think I did                                         

Yadid  Some even looked like hoodmounted missiles an ya couldnt help but imagine as ya gained on a car ahead of ya that ya were going to close launch a rocket an blow it clearoff the roadMad Max style 

Sounds violent

Car crashes are violent  Ya never saw an educational car crash filmJesus

Drivers Ed was always the period before lunch Blood Bone Brains Gore  I ate my lunchbut a lot of kids didnt  I remember some kids fleeing the room to vomit  Drivers Ed room was located inbetween the girls an boys bathrooms

Ya could hear some kids vomiting through the walls

Boy talk about missin out

Nope  Can say I think I missed out

Ya wouldnt know

When yave missed somethingyave missed it  Like just along the side the road  An missing it is not having the experience an not having the experience negates any opinion ya might have about something yaknow nothing about

Thats gotta make sense

I havent eaten monkeybrains like in Indiana Jones  but I can say I wouldnt Therefore I have a plausible opinion

Plausible  An ignorant   If I slipped cooked monkeybrains in with yar cherished rice pudding or tapioca ya might enjoy em  Thatd blow a hole in yar opinion

Id know something was off 

Ive seen ya gobble yar dessert I don think ya would

An thats your opinion

An did you see that along the side of the road

I did not

Christ

What did you see

Along the side the roadtwice now  it appears as if someone has mummified dead owls struck by night traffic  Theyre bound upright kinda like the crosses people would leave at sites where loved ones died in car crashes  In Montana before a curvebefore a bridge someone erected seven whitepainted iron crosses one on top of two on top of four  like a squatblanched Christmas tree  not that Indians celebrate Christmas  this was at the edge of an Indian reservation

Can you shutup

Excuse me

Youre babbling

Im tellin ya what Ive seen

Youve seen two bird mummies along the side of the road

Yes  Definitely  Unmistakable

Thats pushing the envelope

Yanot sufferin high school Drivers Ed pushes an envelope  Fuckin public education is eroding  Investing in American infrastructure is investing in its children talk about child abuse

                                                               Seems to me long ago a lot of old white men should have croaked sooner than they did theyve fucked this nation in the guts via Warhols Flesh for Frankenstein




later they passed a third owl mummy  and the driver saw it

Mondays road trip to San Francisco,  22  1. 18

1156,  Saturday,  27  1. 18

Flesh for Frankenstein  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m40Bs7Ko5dw

Germanys Nu Pagadi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Mo7cCo5S8

“There has never been a better time to hire, to build, to invest, and to grow in the United States.”  cunt told Davos

buy low sell high 

cunt cracked him up

                    any foreign business entity thinking of putting its toeits wallet in America  pussyfooting in its roiling political landscape  really ought to think very very hard if it can make money(Free Market – maximise and accumulate wealth) in a twisted despondent America where its razor thin political majority has eight times depended upon the Vice-cunts vote to preserve the majority(in eight years Vice-President Joe Biden never once cast a tie-breaking voteNOT ONCE)

he thought it might be hard for any foreign business entity to hire to build to invest to grow in America while anxiously looking over its shoulderprotecting its back  he had no doubt however that armed security would protect an defend their interests  literally playing a lethal role   after all  America has its drone program an isnt accountable to any nation OVER THERE  seemed to him an foreign entity could kill Americans OVER HERE an like Americansjustified by Americans-without-spines  not blink once at those purported necessary deaths   

perhaps one last consideration  YO!

when entering a deeplydivided Nation

(he was keepin his eye on tourism numbers)

                                                Nationalise it yeah yeah  Dont criticise it

                                                (mused to Peter Toshs Legalise It)

1024, Saturday,  27  1. 18

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2018/01/trump-davos/551567/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=politics-daily-newsletter&utm_content=20180126&silverid=MzI3NDE2MDg4ODMyS0

Tosh  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6QkVTx2d88

Davos  Drumpf  cunt

                     he hadnt yet read how his Make America Great Again -- America First speech played  if he stayed on pointon teleprompter   

other world representatives werent as deranged as Americas  some  but not most

he imagined they witnessed cunts speech as Dorothy might  absentlyquietly clicking her ruby heels together wishing she were home  however not to Brownbacks Kansas  a state raped and pillaged by yet more Republican hubris muthafuckers have cornered the market an blatant ignorance winkwink

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!!

                                            all smoke an mirrorslubricants and big black Viagra suppositories – ya didnt know ya could getem in vanity size an colourshuh? (available to all said?billionaires)

he wasnt in a hurry either -- like cleaning a catbox

1505,  Friday,  26  1. 18   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZR64EF3OpA

he was counting on work to give him something to work with tonight

                                                                         NO PRESSURE

keep his eyeballs peeled ears open imagination like a pool of petro waiting on a spark mebbe the low spark of highheeled boys a spark a match a casuallyflipped cigarette

thats how forest fires start

                           an he had no Smokey the Bear hairy muscular arms crossed over his bruin chest to protect himhis realm NO he had no Deputy Dawg Fritz the Cat Quick Draw McGraw or his faithful sidekick Baba Looey no Three Stooges Marx Brothers Abbott an Costello no Dude or Walter or Donny Jesus Quintana bringing up the rear

he was on his own

he played with matcheshe anticipated the FIREthe smoke assh embers roilingspiraling into the night sky like fleet lightning bugs  its smell brother

                              barbecue! meat on a spit carved from the bone with a knife an fingers

his kidbrothers birthday was today  his parents had five kids over fifty  

during the night two women came into the store  it was their birthdays too

he asked them innocently enough if they celebrated their birthdays with birthday spankings NO  then one asked if it was too late to start  her boyfriend rather than picking up on his lead got butthurt an mealymouthed  Hey man  I opened the doorall ya gotta do is walk in  he left the store ahead of her  He’s a jealous sort she said  he said Jealousy is nothing more than a lack of confidenceyou dont strike me as a kind of woman who gives him reasons to be jealous
No no  I surely don’t  It’s just the way he is   Well as long as you know it an can tolerate it

then another woman came in to buy a Don Julio 1942  she was on her way to spend the evening with a friend who was having her boithday thats what she said  boithday  which immediately fetched his heart  boithday was his vernacular  Yaknow  youre the third person whos been in tonight whos either celebrating their boithday or going to spend time with someone who is  And its my kidbrothers boithday too  I suppose Easter sex  Resurrection he wanted to say resurrerection but he was at work an they just met she was getting off light  Oh gosh! she said That would be nine months earlier
It wood she wouldnt pick up on his double etendre

he emaled his kidbrother earlier in the day  wished him Happy Boithday! hoping that he was taking the day to himself he usually worked took extra hours on his boithday  which threw him for a loop  he couldnt remember the last time he worked on his boithday THATS MY DAY IT AINT FOR SALE  but then his thinking might have been misaligned during his youthhe gave himself more credit than people usually allowed themselvesthey needed pats on the backacknowledgement  somehow for some reason he never didhe saw it as nothing more than flattery vanity  an if one was susceptible to flattery  then like greed  there was no top to it

his kidbrother wrote him back :  I am doing nothing today. Prudence and I are sitting around doing nothing! Getting ready to go out for dinner, but other than that nothing!!           

personally hed never date a woman named Prudence letalone marry her  what would you call her for short

he didnt have to worry thathe lived on the Left Coast an they lived on the East

his kidbrother didnt even acknowledge his boithday wishes :  I am doing nothing today.

fuck that noise  he wrote back :  Nothing. Sitting in the livingroom. No conversation, or talking about the weather? Sipping coffee or tea, to put off the cold? Noshing? What restaurant? What do you think you might have for dinner? 

NOTHING?  It's your boithdayChrist -- the one day a year to grab by the throat an tearup . . .  

he heard nothing furthur from him 

but it was his boithday to do as he pleased  

if people often confounded him  siblings utterly perplexed him

how was it they grew up in the same house with the same parents the same circumstances an didnt resemblerather act or were moved similarly

                                                                       not remotely 

seven siblings  but  perhaps there are ramifications to ones birthing order  the first childfirst sonfirst daughter  second childsecond sonsecond daughterfirst sonfirst daughter an on an on

he was firstborn

he told everyone he took his genetics off the topshelf  left slim pickings  it wasnt greed  if he didnt take it an left it to the next an his parents didnt have another child the shitd go to waste  so he took everything he could carry an stuffed his pockets  he didnt waste a thing  there was too much Need in the world that didnt get it to waste anythingnot a damn thing

birthing order

he had little sympathy for things that happened beyond his control

since he was born first he had no imaginationno lake of fire for being born second or third or fourth or a girl

he couldnt imagine you just didnt lean forwardnose to the grindstone an do life

he was darkly optimistic

the cash an transactions were counted  safe locked  punched out on the timeclock  end of the day

work held out on him  it was times like thesestanding in the stark moonlighthe clutched his filthy skirt to his thighs in his grimy hands an like Scarlett O'Hara cried As God is my witness as God is my witness theyre not going to lick me  Im going to live through this an when its all over Ill never be hungry again . . . if I have to lie steal cheat or kill  As God is my witness Ill never be hungry again

                                    ahwell  a little hyperbole now an again isnt a bad thing 

1559,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  24  1. 18

1039,  Thursday,  25 1. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RhI1vERr-0  Scarlett looks phallic as the camera pulls back 

cliché

     hed pay good money to see the one film  one film where someone subtly excuses themselveslike a vampire  asks May I use your bathroom  an permission granted they hurry to enterquickly closing the door behind them  inside the concentrated strain concern goes out of their face  an thats when it is understood their intentionpractised an clandestine is to go through their medicine cabinet

                                      but either there is no cabinet  or quietlystealthily opening the mirrored cabinet

there is nothing is inside

imagine their expression or their silent sudden gymnastics to find something

comedic  yes

defying the norm

hed seen it so often 

it was too convenient 

too cliché

now however   NUTS! aint a damn thing to be foundnothing incriminating  no fuckin clues revealed

the toilet flushes

hotwater runs into the basin hands are soaped no NOTICE sign EMPLOYEES must wash their hands before returning to work – are they fuckin eidgets?! a handtowel snatched from a convenient hook  rubbed  rehung  

emerging reentering the room Thank you  while deftly hiding the bluster an confusion in their face

that would be the movie shot in his house

there was no mirrored cabinet a round woodframed mirror to shave in    

left of the basin were narrow shelves holding his toiletry 

there were no medications

on the kitchen counter beside the fridge he kept his vitamins an supplements on a circular cutglass tray

inside the refrigerator was cod liver oil black seed oil organic Jumbo eggs

an operative couldnt excuse themselves to go to the kitchen alone 

the only hint theyd find in the bathroom were rubbers  those his girlfriend preferred

rubbers will never be cliché

1916,  Twosday,  23  1. 18

1301,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  24  1. 18

1813,  Twoday,  23  1. 18

                                     be authentic  . . .  . if it kills ya sowha

                                                                                            so what

caught trailer for Amy: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2870648/videoplayer/vi1940566809?ref_=tt_ov_vi

it was the insipid buzzhums an aahs that attend people milling about an on exercise equipment that turned him off about health clubs  though he treated his as a gym an got in an out without the apparent necessity of socialising

he worked his circuit through them asking firmlyseveral times to please move so he could utilise the machine  not use the machine utilise it sitting on their fat asses using it 

it was a pet peeve (an one day hed name the right cat petpeeve  p p) that he had to ask and he asked both men and women

threw him for a loop

one  he had to ask

two the disturbing looks he endured for askingan endured isnt hyperbole  if he had his druthers hed yank them headlong off the equipment without a word  use it or loose it  kids get it  adolts are  well  dolts thick  asif entitled because life hadnt taken them out yet  their unconscious breathing heart beating blood flow  chits in their corner fuck 

few in the clutch were genuinely apologetic  something else a majority of adolts seem to have no need for

however  in their basting  he did overhear something that saddened him if he was remembering correctly

finally the bulbous bulk broke down into single cells approachable cells without the firmament or need of witness or aggrandizing  a guy he knew from inside the sauna  Steve  Steve who struggled with obesitywho spent two hours inside it sweating combatting it you have to give him credit

The circlejerk upstairs among the equipment  people I think youre familiar with Steve  someone who died in a freak accident  I hadnt heard

Yeah  Norwood

Im sorry you say his name was Norwood

Norwood  Yeah

Norwood sounded familiar  he moved from Western AvenueChicago proper to Norwood Park as a boy to live with his grandmother  was that what was familiar to him  Norwood Park  not the name Norwood

Norwood

Yeah Knew him well  I worked at the prison he worked security we yapped  he was the redheaded buzzcut who worked out here evenings then dressed out in uniform to go to work  Always did the overnight gig Liked it I spose

Norwood

Did you ever workout evenings 

Used to then lost my job  Corporate takeover

Sorry to hear that

Seems the way of the world No balls  Greed  It wasnt unexpected  At least not unexpected to meunexpected however to the majority of my coworkers who listened to their bullshit about jobswho put blind faith into what they were told not what they saw  During meetings I called corporate outcalled them liarstold em to put it in ink or shut their mouths  Coworkers told me to shaddupId certainly not be getting a job but I was jeopardising theirs

Awwell  hope springs eternal  Untempered optimism  They couldnt give me reasons for their assuredness  They just chose to hang on their words  They called them promises

They werent promises  They werent in writing  Talks cheap  They didnt empower themselvesdidnt resistthey fell over themselves training corporate employees to do their jobs 

But maybe thats where they were from an I wasnt Nobody got a job though Norwood sounded familiarmore familiar than just his boyhood town

Excuse me Steve  I spent a number of years as a boy in Norwood Park

Oh

Yeah  Norwood  I dont particularly wanna ask this  Norwoods son die of leukemia You know him

Shit  Im afraid I do  He died  Yes

Im sorry to hear that

Its worse than sorry

Worse

Yeah  You know the guysweet guywouldnt turn anyone downturn anyone away  He was runover by a seventysixyearold man who stomped the accelerator  not the brake  while going in reverse  Evidently he lost control of the car when it lurked  News described him as confused

I dont think you get to walk away  confused  no matter how old you are

I think hell plead confusion  The State did authorize a drivers license to him

Licenses bring in money  Its capital  Capital accumulation no matter human costs Theres more where they came from

Thats bleak

No  Bleak  You want bleak  Norwood was the kind of guy who would go out of his way for you

Unfortunately he couldnt get out of the way

1300,  Sunday,  21  1. 18

1916,  Klimt Monday,  22  1. 18

complacent  complicated  clouds  hung in the sky  suspended asif dirtywhite blood dripped up an pooled in thin air

Why did that occur to him

he walked to the gym reading

yesterdays afternoon sky was quilted  dullwhite an broad blue stitching

today dirtywhite clouds in a homicide bloodspray pattern

it wasnt the fault of what he read though a section of the book was called The Toxic Airborne Event

he slipped on his tattered white workout tshirt

he didnt wear it for affect

he wore workout Ts until they failedlike he worked out to muscular failure

he been lifting on the machines for nearly a halfhourwas suckin air when an older man entered the room

he was on the curl machine in full sight of anyone who entered an he figured the man either glimpsed him or heard his workoutbreathing rhythmic  not grunts or look-at-me-work barks

when he finished his set of curls catching his breath he walked across the room to the leg machine where the older man stood looking out the window  looking asif looking at a painting 

through a window depth is altered perspective is subtly skewed

the outside seems twodimensional  flattened  winter bare trees look like neural netstheir foreground branches meshed with those midtree an behind  they look like flat rounded dense fans waiting for stoic slave attendants to waveto cool their kingtheir god an from where the older man stoodat the knee of the leglift machine he couldnt miss the crematorium attached to The Chapel of Roses  the foregroundthe brightyellow lined parking places  unbroken by graygreen concrete pedestals holding industrial stanchions an overhead lighting  otherwise a taut black sheet of tarmac  black as deathone might presume  it takes eyes or the sense of seeing to realise colour  death was senseless  it made sense to him that death was colourless

it was simply not being

when he came up on the older man an whispered Excuse me are you . . the man jumpedhis hand going to his throat  Im sorry I thought you heard me approaching

NO. 

Excuse me I didnt mean to upset you

No.

   I think I must have gone somewhere.

Thats our prerogative isnt it

Goodness, I haven’t thought of it in terms of a prerogativeI’ve thought it to be a faultI’m told I do it very often.

ApparentlyId think you like where you go   Or you wouldnt go

Yes. I suppose you’re right, if you think about it that way.

Its subjectivewe all do itdaydream lollygag stare off into space  People outside us shouldnt make judgments not when their guiltif you will of the same   crime

Crime.  Perfect wordthey make me feel guilt.

Were all guilt of daydreamin  Dreamin the past  present  future    Hell there are those who think were dreamed acting in someone elses dream  or daydream          

Im sorry I interrupted youIm in my workout modedont look left or right   I apologise for uprooting you 

I didnt see you werent here

Thank you.

          he suddenly looked miserable I don’t know where I was.  In blind reverie I suppose.

Are you okay

I am. 

Thank you. 

I probably shouldn’t be here.  I’m distracted.

Otherwise youre okay

Yes. I am.

as he adjusted the leg machinehis head down he bellowed loud enough for the man to hear  Enjoy your daydreams or your blind reveries  Dont listen to a soul say otherwise

Thank you.

1727,  Saturday,  20  1. 18

1051,  Sunday,  21  1. 18

Kendrick Lamar  BLOOD.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDUL2mtQpDk

she staggered eversoslightly 

someone else might not have noticed

they would have noticed she was noticeablebut perhaps not beyond that

when she spoke her words slurred slightly  like a jazz slurone breath running a string of notes

he liked her soundyou might say he liked the instrument that played it  reminded him of someone behind him  Miami  during his hellion days  his to-be-wife plucked him out of that maelstrom   it wouldnt be a stretch to say she may have saved his life  at his crass violent Miami crossroads it would have been hard to say which would have been the road less traveled since all roads end in demise 

she reminded him  of   someone

Canya help me  she had come at him on a beeline

Youre hangin out girl

she clutched at her open jean jacket an found skin where buttons should have been  I am  she slung her purse on her shoulder I oughta charge you for a peek

Wouldnt have been a peek

Smart guy  she buttoned a couple of buttonskept her cleavage 

Years of experience

Funny thats why Im approaching you

Always nice to be approachednice to help

I like the way you talk

I happen to like the way you speakwas trying to remember exactly who you reminded me of

I have a predecessor

I think everyone has a predecessor  Or should

You got something against virgins

No but Im allabout learnin curves

Learned mine

Mammorised em

Oh Clever

Thank you  Youah needed help

Yes

Sound exasperated

Im only here because Im sober enough to be here

Hangin ten on sober

My rides outside

Then we can talkI can help

Youd refuse me

Id refuse you

Youd refuse me

Yeshow can I help

she shook her head  slightly  like her stagger  Im to buy whiskybut nobody could decide what  You look like you know your whiskys

One reason why I work here Ask me about wines an youd be out of luck  Id hand you off to Cay

No thank you  Were a team

Then lead on Up the spirits aisle at your back 

he followed  Left are your ryes and bourbons right your Canadian Irish and Scotches  How you intend to dispatch your spiritssippin or sluggin

Sluggin

Probably not familiar with the vernacular  Shots

Ah  Yes shots

How many are drinkin

Me and five other twentythreeyearold girls  Maybe a couple of pervy guys

At twentythreeyearsold girls are just as pervy

she turned on her heels perfectly  maybe she wasnt as slight as he thought  Nice turn

Just as pervy

Usually more from my experience 

Jesus  Yeah  I dont want Beam or Jack Ive heaved up stuff from dark places that I didnt know I had that I couldnt identify

Couldnt have said it better myself

Really

No  Kinda illuminated in a single sentence what many people experience  Been there myself  But you gotta beits part of the process

Nice

Kudos

Thank you

Rye

I dont think so

Howbout we swing to your right behind you  Irish  Jameson  Good price  Good for shots

By experience

By my daughters experience  I sip spirits straight  I enjoy  Savor

she looked his apronhis nametag  Joe she said  Grampa Joe

Maybe pushing grampa if my daughter was underage an birthed which she wouldnt have shed have aborted  he grabbed a Jameson by the neck

Your daughter would have chose to abort

She wouldnt have had a choice

Its a womans choice

A womans choice  Not a childs

he watched the vapors of her drunkenness rise out of her  he struck a sober cord  But youre rightI am a grampa got two beautiful granddaughters  Im just not old enough to be your grampa  I could accept Uncle Joe  Id be that uncle dig

she burst out laughing 

her laughter was musical

1039,  Saturday,  20  1. 18

first day of the Republican government shutdown – 1096 days remaining or fewer