16.1.18



fake boobs riled him

but he was tryinghe really was  trying very hard to put himself in their bras an jiggle for awhile but they dont jiggle 

no they dont must be jelly cuz jam dont shake like that


his friend Sean augmented herself

they apparently fulfilled something in her that needed filling

nothing that he saw or could imagine

but he wasnt her 

shes a smart woman a fit woman a woman young girls could model themselves after
though after her augmentation he bit his tonguewithdrew that young girls might hold her up as a model

those facets  he didnt think ought to be idolised  


frankly what riled himput him at odds with Sean was that they were unnatural 

he realised the argument could be made that he grew up when plastic surgery wasnt coveted  its reason for being then was to correctas best it couldto moderate disfigurements of misfortunate birth defects or horrible wounds received in fires car crashes accidents  or war

those exacted a reason for noble plastic surgeries

moneyed narcissismthat had to be the word for it  isnt noble 

catering  isnt noble

he also realised the argument  Its my money Its my body I can do with it whatever I want

Yes
    he however didnt have to respect their choices an he didnt have to be quiet about them either if he was provoked


artificiality is not superficial 


beauty is not skin deep
 

there is no such thing as a single artifice or a single flaw to any person


1337,  Friday,  12  1. 18
1205,  Monday,  15  1. 18
Glenn Miller Orchestra  It Must Be Jelly  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRwt2DawLkM
Jill Scott  Gettin’ in the Way  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RALIqun26tg

15.1.18



                                     . . follow the bird . . .   or follow the bird  conundrum

he crossed Traffic Way just west of DePalma who showed so much promise Scarface Body Double then quietly evaporated in the curling miasma of fickled entertainment press an that what cannibal Hollywood is about
it was a T-intersection DePalma commencing north off Traffic

one bird  one bird strutted down the hill DePalma was

the strut invariably caught his eyeshe wore a short flowerpatterned dress closed to her throat  her legs madeup the difference  greaved in brown laced leather boots to her knees  to her shapely thighs

she wore a casual shelby at the back of her head  under it shimmered sunstruck auburn hair that hung in carelessly curls an bounced with her steps asif DePalma was her personal catwalk

at the intersection she turned left sharply away from him  his heart lurchedwanted to follow  damn beast

he denied his blood  though he didnt mind  she could walk away from him any old damn time

as her hips wenther dress flipped more thigh
                                             he would miss her when he walked past their parallel while simultaneously
the other bird  the other bird  a huge hawk circled them 

he spied its shadows blackflash streak the street  hed have had to become some walleyed muthafucker monster inthemoment to see them both then the spassm twitchedpassed  it forced him to dole out the few remaining seconds in time between them

he broke the unenvied plane an lost the young woman behind a sarcastic muraled wall on a building at the corner  turning his eyes up he watched the hawk cease its circulation an enter a lowering glide up Traffic Way above the woman
evidently unable to contain its beasty heart
                                             then a crown of trees obscured the hawk an they were both gone

however they left him their images sketched in fast unbroken lines on his immemorial memory    


1417,  Friday,  12  1. 18
1059,  Saturday,  13  1. 18
Paul Revere and the Raiders  Hungry  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY4rIFc3JVA
Lynyrd Skynyrd  FreeBird  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=np0solnL1XY         

14.1.18



it was the middle of the afternoon still four hours before he had work

rather  had to work


hed always have to work
Retirement  HA

he didnthe never saw it  it wasnt in the cards for him it wasnt in the cards for a lot of people an even more people todayFUCKED by free market ideology by employers who flipped or rolled over like dogs to corporate where did he read thatwhere did he put that quote Ah here  BINGO! an from of all places Homo Deus the self-interest of capital accumulation  its logic of brutal calculability in its indifference to life 

any life other than its own


fortunately(?) he saw thataccepted that when a boy when a much older friend Mr Wappler shared with him what retirement was

he cut Mr Wapplers lots during the summerraked his leaves in the fallshoveled snow from his walks and driveway winters

You might say Mr Wappler said I’m your patron. It's from the Latin patronus, protector of clients, defender; from pater, also Latin, father. 

Ohyes

Oh yes?  You know pater?

I think I do  I have an uncle who complained of a paternity suit  Is it the samelike father  not like he was complaining about his tailor right

Goodness, for a young boy you certainly hear things that perhaps you should not.

Im not eavesdropping not really  Ten people live at my house an half are adults an yacant help but overhear what mebbe you shouldnt but it seems to me adults thinkthey must that I cant follow or understand their words as if my vocabulary is lacking  An how can that be for when Im not working not in school my nose is tucked in books  I read with a dictionary an encyclopaedia an an atlas at my hip  I dont know a lot of things  The more I read the less I know

The more you read the less you know? 

Yes sir

Most people never learn that simple fact, boy.

Theres too much to know 

Yes, there is too much to know.  But it doesn’t hurt to try.

Yup  Thats the way I see it


Mr Wappler told him of retirement

Are you retired Mr Wappler

I’m an artist. I’ll never stop working.

Is Mrs Wappler retired

he laughed deeply  No, and she’d agree. She has me to take care of.

they laughed together




every time he hears talk of retirement he hears their laughter last century in the sideyard before Mr Wapplers studio at the back of his property 

usually a tray of covered uneaten food lay on an overturned wooden bucket at its threshold

Mr Wappler was too busy working




1441,  Twosday,  19  12. 17
1230,  Friday,  12  1. 18

13.1.18



I like what you havent done with the place


That sarcasm babywe gotta watch where we step so we dont slip and fall  or ballbustin irony 

Perhaps a smidge of each Papa
Youre obviously content in your disorder scattered and stacked books unopened and opened boxesunhung art  but I find it overwhelming  restless

Take a moment  You see feel restlessness                                                                                     
Yes  your place encourages a restlessness in me


Waitillya see the kitchen

Youre funny Papa  Always the funny guy tongue in cheek cheeky basturd

Basturd  I like that youre using my nomenclature
Ill be the funny guy till the day I die
Thats when youll really miss my funny stuff

Stop  Why do you always invite the dark side

Dark side                                                                                                                                        
Yes  You seem fixated on the dark side

No
Im not fixatedI dont fixate on the dark  I mention the dark side of thingstry an dull strip the shininess to remind you an others that theres another side to the bright cheeriness marketing would have us swallow  Were under a constant unrelenting barrage  I understand thats marketing job  As I suppose the dark sidereminding you is my job  Its a dirty job but somebodys gotta do it   Like fucking fat women Dummer thats Dummers line not mine  But it is ohso visually illuminating  isnt it


Papa  Youre visual no matter what it is youre talk about  visually arresting

A gift

A gift  or a bane

In the eye of the beholder we might agree

Yes  We can agree


So  Restlessness   I might suppose its a good thing you dont live herehuh

Wouldnt  That said I still dontwe dont . .
. . We

Yes  Yah and me We  Despite me knowing next whats going to come out of your mouth  shed be okay with me speaking for her regarding you livingcontinuing to live here . .
. . You can only speak for yourself

Of course  As I knew  However youll have to find your way to hear me out  Im speaking for us as we agree steadfast on this point So deal with it


Go

I hate your GO . .
. . No sweat  You an others


Alright  Yah and I have a hard time seeing how youre still living here  You dont fit in

Has it ever occurred to youor youse that that may be precisely why I live here  Youre both aware of my proclivity to confrontation Im guaranteed handsdown each an every day I live here to enjoy my inevitable confrontations 

But Papa  thats so stressing

No love  Youre confrontationalYah is as your mother an I raised you . .
. . No  Mom didnt

Awright  Point taken  As I raised you  As I raised Yah
Its a mans worldan a shitty mans world for that matter  so I wanted you girls to be able to stand on your own  Be confrontational  Take no shit

I just happen to be wired not to take even a hint of shit  Yes Im extreme I know that  If youd girls take that aspect of me into accountdrop your considerations of comfort for yourself  restfulnessas it were  for yourselves   Confrontations  as hard as it might be for you to believe  mitigate stress for me          

Here  This town 

Yes love  This town is not your cup of teaYahs cup of tea but dont forget this is where Mom and I chose to liveto travel half the length of the continent  to live 

Our choice  You had no choice  However as an adult you have your choice and youve made them

Have I ever remediated your choicesYahs choices


I have not  Because I respect your decisions

Because I helpedyoure mother helped in forming educating your consciousnessyour ethics

I would not secondguess you or your sister



Why would you secondguess me

 


1616,  Friday,  5  1. 18
2336,  Sunday,  7  1. 18

12.1.18



I think it was my ad hoc strategy that kicked instressed whatever it was inside him that became my brothers cancer  Its been a long time since weve seen eye to eye  Truth be known we might never have seen eye to eye  Its been a long time since we lived in our parents house together     A very long time

he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his fanny against the countertop

he didnt stand contemplative in that posture

rather he appeared selfcontained

his muscled arms combative

his coworker was wary 


You’ve mentioned before that your brother and fatherif I’m correct are at odds politically with you

Politically Socially Theyre almost always the heads of the coin to my tails  I might be less combative if they offered reasons for their standings This fuckin Moore they say the women are liars women always lie they always have something to gain or want to gain  to have over men 

My father has three daughtersmy brother two 

They have wives

What are they saying about the women in their lives if they vouch for Mooreas every bit a cunt as Drumpf


Are they religious?
When it serves their purpose

You’re not.

I am not



So what was your cancer-causing strategy?

The last I saw my brother we argued the financial inequality of the country  And this was before cunt was elected
My brother doesnt see any problem with billionaires or their money undeclared blackmoney manipulating voting an legislation an politicianspoliticians whod like to be at least millionaires  an when they leave office enter that spinning door between government an lobbyists acquire a cush job sell their influence  because those in government also want to leave it then park their fat asses as their predecessors colleagues have 

If I could Id stop that revolving door so fuckinfast theyd break their wolfish faces on its glass panes


I see you’re irritated.

Im irritated because we didnt have to be here 

These clowns serving are commiserate to my era Nam Nixon War on Drugs Watergate the joke of trickledown economics  they didnt learn anythingnothing except   greed 

Pretty polished coiffured greed


I thought my strategy was enlightened  I see it as feasible   If cunts president an can squeal an taunt on Tweeterwhich wouldnt have seemed feasible or doable in the past  then nothing is beyond the paleis it

No.  Although I’m sure he’s surprised even his base.

Youre jokingright

You don’t think he surprised his base?

His base is base theyre why the Resistance was formed immediately fortunately  No wait an see  He said exactly what hed do when assuming power  Asked my parents why Hitler surprised the world particularly after what he wrote in Mien Kampf  The Word  Like the fuckin Biblethough less mysterious

There's something to what you say.

Unfortunately there is

his arms were still strapped around him

they made his coworker uncomfortable  their manager asked him how strong he thought Joe was  he replied I don’t know. I wouldn’t like to find out.  Fortunately he seemed self-contained. Though, he also seems capable of violence, an immediate gloves-off kind of violence, I don’t know why I think that, mind you, but I do; he’s intimidating . .
. . Without being intimidating, right?

Yes. Exactly.  It makes you hesitant to cross him . .
. . Even of the smallest thing . .
. . Yes. Even the smallest thing.

But he works like a devil. Nothing too small or too big that he doesn’t throw himself into it. And he always exceeds what I ask him to do; picking out something I missed and doing it without asking. Done. I can’t correct him because he’s correct.   Intimidating.

Yes. But as you say, without being intimidating.




My strategy  I think its cogent perhaps stretching norms  but then who ever thought a presidential candidate would say that corporations were people too  An then within a year or so have the Supreme Court confer exactly that with Citizens United

I was somewhat surprised.

Unfortunately I wasnt  It is a majority Republican court  Justice wears a blindfoldnot they

Theyre not supposed to exercise politics . .
. . And maybe once upon a time they didnt  Its moneybaby  an they know who butters their bread   Money  Speech One in the same orso were told

I’m distracted.  Please. What’s your strategy?

Very simple Ill admit  a simple premise   Five of the top ten wealthiest people in the world live in the United Statestheir corporations headquarters function within the United States  I think its ten of the top twentyfive if I really want to be greedy  but Im not I think the five will suffice

Okay.

You remember when Castro took Cuba he nationalised American corporationstook them over  did not reimburse the companies  I wont be that greedy

I’ll take your word for it.

Never take anyones word for anything  Factcheck me  Ive no concern that Im wrong

I’ll take your word for it now, for your argument’s sake.

Thank you

So  if a corporation can be nationalised  an a corporation is a person   then it stands to reason that person can be nationalised  We take their wealthhell we could leave them with a billion allow them to remain billionaires  they would still get along swimmingly  A more egalitarian standard could be provided achieved 

Case in point the Walton Family  Threefour family members became among the top twentyfive wealthiest people in the world by virtue only of their birth  And the poorest among us are poorest by virtue of their birth 

Were past the tipping point

Time for a radical correction


That’s . . . I don’t know what that is.



Its cancer-causing


Sunday,  31  12. 17
1548,  Day-Between-Two-Ts,  3  1. 18
1104 days remaining or less

11.1.18

I’m confused    shithole . . shithole?    I thought Donald Trump spoke with what is his shithole  his mouth



2246,  Thursday,  11  1. 18



he still hadstill argued with himself over how he felt about preemies  purposefully saving a life outside the womb that if birthed in the wild   would have died 

preemies weretheir doctors(Frankensteins) were the vanguard who pushed the envelope invigorating the noxious Rights cry for personhood at the moment of conception as if they knew when a womans body conceived
which he vehemently harshly disagreed 

a zygote has no rights
                      an accumulation of cells that looks like a chicken embryo has no rightsan certainly no rights exceeding those of an existing living-breathing redblooded Conscious woman who has an embryo suspended inside of her



standing at a counter plying liquor he found himself confronted with two women who were best friends

they confided in a blush and fury If I cant talk with her what I do is have an imaginary conversation with her and heed what I know she would counselwould be her consideration for my dilemma

thats a spooky friendship

thats a womens friendship

men cant fathom that  they havent relationships of that kind

hed speak for men

he hadnt
          not even with a woman


the two women standing before him were preemies incubated at Stanford at the very same time

they didnt meet until ten years later

their curiositybeing preemies at Stanford birthed within hours of one another provoked them to ask their parents an their parents discovered they were incubated in the same ward

if that isnt bizarre what is
                            an from ten until they graduated high school they were never apart for more than the week the week they spent at summer camps


he worked with Cay one of the women although her curlylocked brunette bosom buddy Rachel was familiar to him
not that she should have been

then Rachel revealed her mother died when she was young and her father a carpenter moved them and her older sister from residence to residencealmost yearly in town
he put his head down in

Ohgoodness he remembered Rachel she hadnt a name then he lived at an apartment complex that had a swimming poolwhirlpool  a sauna inside

she was the voluptuous teenagerscarcely contained by her suit who flirted cavorted around the deck  starved for attentionaffection



later that evening Rachel doubledback   We know each otherdont we

I believe we do

The apartment complex on the south end of town

Yes


You didnt take advantage of meI would have let you  I wanted you to   You stood up for me

It was no brainer Rachel  Your father wasnt therewas working  Had he been home you wouldnt have been at the poolnot without him  It was apparent there was some kind of disconnect an you were surreptitiouslyon the hushhush taking advantage of your circumstances  You werent stupid  Misguided   Not stupid   


I remember  I kept trying at youtrying to get through to you

There was no getting  Not as a teenager not as a young woman  I think you knew better

I did



what were the chances in his argument over preemies that hed meet incubator buddies



evening,  Friday,  5  1. 18
1427,  Monday,  8  1. 18