29.09 was bliss after eating chicken soup and ground turkey for dinners for a week 

29.09 was a thickcrust pizza double anchovies garlic black olives green pepper artichoke hearts

29.09 was  if that dont sound tastyfuck you  he could tell that all the noses around him were turned up at the smell of hot anchovies

anchovypeople  they sat around him thinking their shit didnt stink

anchovies fed bigger fish  like little fish fed fat corpulent greedy corporations

they probably werent dismayed when the Republican Supreme Court conferred personhood upon Corporate bodies with their Citizens United decision  YAH! Republican Supreme Court majority! shoving its thumb deep up their ass  they loved it loved it  loved it

then some people have more feeling in their anuses than in their skulls

the People had to gobble it hook line and sinker 

Law of the Land 

somehow they didnt see its imminent corruption 

but maybe they worried about their jobs  maybe they couldnt look down the road apiece and see things veer off into the LaLaLand of Corporate blissthey wouldnt be where they were if they werent compliant  if they werent accessories  if they werent aholes who feared pushing backfeared the confrontation  went along to get along(WATGA)

WATGAs

        
who maybe couldnt realise their innate intrinsic value 

who had to be told what their value was  and hence were devalued in the bargain  

they devalued themselves

29.09 was illuminating

like John 3:16 banners bobbing in professional football endzones greeting field goals or points after on-camera

(Rollen Stewart a.k.a. Rainbow Man began it  a born-again Christian  currently serving three life sentences

in Mule Creek Prison Ione California)

FG

PA

JOHN(he still had no idea what it was an acronym for)

WATGA

1718,  Sunday,  17  12. 17

1231,  Monday,  18  12. 17

KEY exterminators TERMITE and PEST CONTROL

he saw their trucks roll about town

once upon a time he managed their account with a cellfone company

once upon a time he knew KEYs owners son  it was a family-owned business   Bruce

his impression of Bruce when they met was that he was a brute a muscleheadmeathead  might have been a bully when he was a kid

but if that was what went before it had nothing to do with him now

if Bruce tried bullying him Bruce would be up to his eyeballs in hurt

itd be a coin toss

he knew it

Bruce seemed to know it too

truce

they were jocular when they ran into each other at the gym

Bruce lifted with a Mexican buddy who he knew from playing softball years prior

Mexican Robert

Awnaw man  Robertoyea  I aint fuckin callin ya Bob

I like Bob

I got a kid brother who took my dads name BOB  an despite me havin no input of my naming Ill be grateful my whole life he took that bulletBOB  Beast Of Burden is what I told my old man when he gave me his metal tool chest when I left home  he went to tear the blackadhesive punched label off it but I stayed his handNO  Leave it be BOB  Why BOB Comeon dadBeast Of Burden   he didnt see the humour of it

Roberto

I said I like Bob  Call me Bob

Okay Mexican Bob   As long as you dont mind Bob

I like it

Bruce and Bob  an innarestin tagteam  they lifted well together

he didnt need a buddythe support  he was singleminded   he didnt need a sidekick

Bruce beat somebody

he ended up in jail

Bob told him after the third time hed seen Bob lifting alonealways threes  never caught his attention until the third time  a personal thing  he never made a decision about a damn thing until hed played it three timestasted it three times  if after three times he didnt like it he dismissed it an never paid it attention ever again   Anything    Anything at all  People

How long is he in for

The law cuts jail time in half for good behavior  Hell be in for a year if hes good

You see him

He doesnt want to see anyonehes ashamed

You writin him or callin

Write Hilarious pendejo   We talk on the phone

Next time you do tell him hi from meHang tough

Yea man  Ill do that

Thanks Mexican Bob

in jail Bruce met a cat who he really liked

when he got out and returned to his exterminators job and the cat got out Bruce offered him to stay with him

Bob slipped awayhe wasnt keen of the cat  Too pretty for me  Hes twisting Bruce but Bruce dont see it man  he shook his head   Never thought Bruce went that way yaknow

No  We never dodo we   But does he seem happy with the guy

Seems happyseems confused

Confused

Its gay manBruce never saw himself gay

Or maybe he realised long ago he was gay  an for his family an church an this small rural town he met it with violence

Maybe

Bruce committed suicide

the cat left himthe cat took him for plenty before he left and left with plenty

Bruce was brokenhearted

he couldnt accept the relationship was overhe couldnt accept he was a homoA fuckin homo   he beat shit outa homos

a bullet through his heart

he was a professional exterminator

1321,  Sunday,  17  12. 17

sometimes it waylaid him pressed himdepressed him caught him unawares  despite him knowing it was just outside the window

it was never going away

the Chapel of Roses

Chapel of Heartbreak

Crematorium                                                                                                                          

an austere white room

                            

a yawning shinysilver oven nearly centered in it
            

it didnt gag when her body contained within a coffin liner was slipped deep in its throat

a firm hand at his shoulder  May we begin

begin he thought  begin the end begin  erasing her mortal presence

he appreciated the director handhis calm attention

he cleared his throat of nothingnothing at all  Yes

he upset his family

they urged him not to attend her cremation  Its not your place   

no  it wasnt their place   their pale faces were pain-ted a despondent hue of gruesome

odd he thought  the same people who could stand close enough to a graves edge and earth crumbled into it fell onto the coffin fell on the ivory and coloured flower petals

they were pushed away apparently  by the clinicalness of the oven 

a graves natural isnt it  

it was outofdoors   

outofdoors is where you buried your beloved pets wasnt it 

cremation was ungodly

forgetting they werent godly

they were familiar only with wedding baptism and funereal passages

if he had his way he would have built a funeral pyre 

thousands and thousands of years of funeral pyres

outlawed

unsanitary

as if fire wasnt cleansing

death is monetised

the firm hand at his shoulder wasnt making what it could have  but at least was grateful to have what it could

the rollers were quiet

their squeal would have been distracting

the pneumatic door descended silently

a faint click as it locked in place

when the assistant began the gasflames the retort became animated   hummed

there were no windows to witness the conflagration  her consumption

he could take her no furthur

no dirt would crumble onto her

he cleared his throat again of nothing and briskly turned to the director

their eyes meet

hed cried all his tears

Thank you for your kindness your gentleness  My family and I are very pleased

Youre welcome

they shook hands

walking out of the sparse white room he could feel her subdued humming song on his head shoulders on his back 

sometimes while he lifted on the leg extension machine  

it was positioned before a window through which he could see the parking lot and a corner of the Chapel of Roses and Crematorium

he could hear and feel her humming  again

most of the time he could sublimate itpush it down 

sometimes it weighted on him too much   he couldnt

fifteen years later tears came

he only thought then that he cried all his tears

December,  2017

Cream  White Room  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkae0-TgrRU