14.7.17



Lost Horse beckons him

it has beckoned him since he first visited ithis girlfriend had moved to Montana and when they moved in together she took him around on weekends to show him the Bitterroot Valley where she spent summers as a girl

it was a far cry from where they met in Miami

Lost Horse rose like cream in his mind at odd times many times every year since he left HA  since he left his marksince he pissed off its edge into the confluence of two pale green valleys below as he looked into Idaho

before he finished pissingenjoying the freefall of his golden stream it quit fallinghung suspended reversed returned to him on a gust an updraftand before he could turn his back it spritzed himbaptized anointed him

then slowly turning aroundmaybe mortified dripping  he turned into the gale and glee and unrestrained laughter of his girlfriend who between gasps sputtered I told you not to

Im hilarioushuh

Ohmygoodness  Ive never seen anything so hilariousYou had no idea
I didnt
It makes sense now
Now  Now it does    After the fact 

she nodded her headwiped tears out of her eyes

Although   I think theres something even more hilarious

Huh 
    and barely did the huh escape her than he was on her wrapping her up in his besprinkled arms holding her to his chest kissing her neck and cheeks seeking her mouth

she struggled uselesslymaybe repulsed  maybe  until he found her mouth and kissed her hard and deeply  sharing his moisture

she relaxed relaxed 
              she kissed him back
their passions rose
they bruised their lips
he released hergrabbed her at the throat of her dress and stepping backyanking her bonebuttons gave away and scattered silently on the soft earth  he spun her around and pushed her forward against a boulder pulled the dress off her shouldersunsnapped her bra  he clutched her breastskissed the back of her head  she turned her headhe leaned over her shoulderthey kissedthey hungered  he pushed her on top of the boulderlifted her dressedtore off her soft cotton panties and took her and taking her the boulder thoughtfully rocked with his thrusts and rolled her back onto his cock rock and roll rock n rollrocknroll


when he was finally spent he helped her off the rock  held her tighttheir hearts beating like mad tomtoms
she noticed first
Look

looking he saw her breasts and belly and hips left damp darkened spots on the agesworn smooth rock temporarily imprinting it

she leaned back against his chesthe held her fast and they watched her sweat evaporate 
                                                                     and watching she could feel their moisture slip down the inside of her thighhe felt the last of himself dribble out the end of his cock onto his thigh

ever the unlikely sayunexpected humourist she turned in his arms to him and laughed A twist of Marleys Exodushuh and explained by breaking his binds and hooking her little finger she swabbed up a beetle from her thigh and offered it to him

Dont mind if I do
sheshrieked helapped her fingerhe boost her up again on top the boulderdefied her unhinged laughterher pitiful strugglesplit her legs apartwent to his knees and tongued and sucked on her as he sucked marrow out of bones



later  walking down from Lost Horse on a winding dirt trail to the car she said Youre quite indecent

he smiled  I think you quite enjoy my indecency

she chirped I do  I do . .
. . Youdowhat
I do I do  I do enjoy your indecency

                                                            
                              and later when they married  a small ecumenical ceremony in a small woodworked Presbyterian church on the banks of the Bitterroot River  her I Do to the reverends query and vow sounded very much like her I do as they walked down from Lost Horse 

he teased  he raised an eyebrow

she winked  she stamped it Gold with a quick beautiful smile  their private joke amid solemnity





Lost Horse

he was finally backhis wife had died many manytoo many years ago

their children flourished

he cherished their grandchildren for them

they flourished too

he cherished their great-grandchildren for them

now of his own volition he finally was returninganswering its beckoning

he told his family only that he was going to the Bitterroot

they worried it was a long drive

he said he wouldnt undertake it if he thought hed jeopardise other people

they finally conceded

which made him laugh 

he wasnt asking


the boulder was still therewhy wouldnt it be?

he laid his hand on top of it

he remembered where the cool damp spots were

he leaned over put his nose to the rock and smelled it

it smelled warmsmelled like the surrounding trees their needles the lodgepole larch Douglas-fir Subalpine-fir

it smelled wholesome

it smelled of horseapples  someone had ridden rode a horse up Lazy bastard he whispered


he walked over to the edge

he stood right beside his memory

his memory was readying to take a piss

   Dont do that she said
                     he turned ever so slightly
he saw her in her summer dress  over his shoulder he said Ah my love  I didnt listen to you then

before his memory could finish unbuttoning his pants he dove out into the clear cool air that percolated and swirled above the confluence of two pale green valleys below

   

conception  2036,  Saturday,  1  7. 17

Day-between-Two-Ts afternoon,  12  7. 17
1642,  Thursday,  13  7. 17
1254,  Friday,  14  7. 17

12.7.17



its the way someone turns a phrase mispronounces a word writes a brisk sentence that catches his eye and he cant help but pull it out and play with itsee how it works

years ago reading Jung Jung taught him that everything ought to be turned as if it were a ball in a childs handsthe child is unsophisticated unlearned  therefore experiencing a ball for the first time he or she turns it over and over and over again looking at it from every conceivable angle

as we grow older our naivety is defaced and crushed  moments of what could be wonder and awe are diminished by being possessed to perform to others expectations 
                                        were desperate not to be seen as naïve  as if naïve is a terrible indiscretiona horrible admission  that somehow perhaps we are unworthyof what


he had two daughters  he raised them on what he learned as a young boywhat an elderly man shared with him                                              
Dont give a fuck about what other people think



he read on page 93 of some book he was readingto-day he was reading out of 22 books 9 nonfiction 4 of the fiction were esotericacquired taste  

he couldnt find the passage on page 93 among 13 fictions before him so he might furthur appreciate the context in which the sentence was writtenhed read too much to pinpoint it

he assumed where he read it he had already returned to the library

virtually all the library books he borrowed he wanted among his library  financial constraintsyes but more it was space constraints that stopped his hand  realistically there was no point to have a book if you couldnt go into a room and have it off a shelf to peruse


page 93 
        she was afraid he might be one of those who protected the rich from the poor

she was afraid

women are more often afraid than men

he began turning the ball

he might be

or maybe he wasnt

maybe he was


one of those

he despised the tag one of those  an inherent judgment a broad generalization  a stereotype

fact is you have to be willing to digto get dirty  turn the ball  who are you to determineto dictate what kind of person someone is if youre unwilling to risk learningknowing who they are who you think they are   and accept you can be wrong

which reminded him of the prologue to In Search of Sir Thomas Browne bottom of page xvi  . . . words in print do not represents exactly what was said and what was said never represents exactly what was meant or taken as meant   



ball


who protect the rich from the poor


politicians


bodyguards


entourage


the balls rolling
              she was afraid he might be one of those who protected the rich from the poor


what was she  rich   poor
                       does the rich need to be protected  do the poor need to be protected  might he be one of those who protected the poor from the rich   power tends to corrupt absolute power corrupts absolutely
John Dalberg-Acton


some people look and recognise a ball and are content with their appraisal


give him a ball  he could play with it forever
  

1325,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  7. 17
Dale Cooper and the Dictaphones Mon Bibliotheque  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIu-7PNR00M