iF. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "(In a real dark night of the soul) (I)t is always three o'clock in the morning . . ."

then really

lets be frank

           whats the astonishing bitch and observation of the three o’clock in the morning telephone call and whos there to answer it

if it were I 

ifits RINGING woke me

 

Id check the hands of the clock

and recognising it was three o’clock in the morning Id let go to messages   marinade

until I awoke refreshed

                   when likely the ashes would have settled

and its evidence in particular would have made itself more evident

until THEN there isnt a damn thing to be done that wouldnt be hyperreactive

if anyone thinks Id launch a nuclear war from my bedstead

theyre out of their minds

yet it is an audacious tenet and tipping point in our Presidential discussion

Who will be quickest at the trigger

                            as if that trigger were to an Old West six-shooter (or the magical John Wayne Peacemaker that never needed to be reloaded  Inian after Inian tumbling dead off their painted ponies)

American grit should be more than heaping destruction on the helpless(our Defense spending is equal to that of the next seven nations combined*  --  thereby making any single nation overwhelmed-to-helpless)
(infamously: You are either with US or you are against US**)

Our grit should not be contentious heavy-handed without clear-eyed deliberation and rather possess a fine sense of judgment and the utter recognition of proportionality

0246,  Sunday,  14  2. 16

 2259,  Twosday,  16  2. 16

* http://money.cnn.com/infographic/economy/us-defense-spending/

** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-23kmhc3P8U

he said he couldnt sleep

                     

                            and when he couldnt sleep he knew he should have done something

 

ran his memory searched his kitchen table coffeetable then went back into his bedroom through his dresser

under his bed into his closet

---   Ya find whayer lookin for

---   Nah

         I will eventually

But not over the past few days

Life    Lifes a funny muthafucker Sends us messages all the time and then it or he  or she   sits back laughing at us
laughing over how were not gonna be able to figure it out

---   Ya think the message messages are legit

---   Good question

My experience yeah but then what does legit mean

And to whom

She keeps givin me whiffs

I scratch my pea

I turn in bed

Cross my fingers until the lightbulb flashes

Never found it just mischief to humour herself

---   Shes all woman now

---   Shes mostly woman

Come hard knocks then a raw-knuckled behemoth of a man

---   And when lifes an it

---   Then dangerous Lifes dangerous 

And missin its leads warnings    Cold-blooded

   

At yer peril

---   Well then   Mebbe it aint such a bad thing to be ignorant of its messages

Be dull

Not sense   or see it comin

---   Not me

I couldnt do that I couldntcant play cards blind

---   Ya never gambled on a turn of a card  cut of the deck

---   Not unless its my shuffle out of my hands

Or I wanna see whats been played on the table

---   Smart

---   Nah Not smart Common sense

I think smart is things taught out of ya

1615,  Moanday,  15  2. 16

 1154,  Twosday,  16  2. 16

the oncoming cripple in a wheelchair

his lap crowded with leaves of colourful pamphlets

deliberately mirrored his what-he-had-deemed casual feigns  scarcely discernible side-to-sides which he made as he walked towards the man-on-wheels rolling on the sidewalk

stepping inside 

             to the edge of parched brown grass

and outside

           to the tall worried curb above the crumbling main street

he glanced up at him over the edge of the book as he read as he walked

walking and reading isnt as hard as most people make out

Ya toss your eyes up  see what yer to anticipate  then continue walkin an readin

hed seen him rollin in his chair likely before he had the occasion of seein him

that wasnt to say that they werent of the same practise  allowin that he might have seen him walkin with his book before his face

tho at six-one  to his mind

he was likely to see up a street far better than someone tethered to the ground at ne'rly four feet

but inside the next sixty seventy metres confirmation of either assessment would become evident

 

he already placed his money

he didnt hedge his bet

at ten metres apart he stopped walkin

the man continued forward and rolled up to him

nearly banging his shins with his foot-supports

tells   tells 

           life  if you really thought about it  was all a matter of tells 

 

rollerboy told him all he needed to know at better than a distance of one hundred metres

that said 

        perhaps if he wasnt in a chair

he might have fooled him

strode up on him to one shoulder or the other

and upon their nearness excused himself

then produced a pamphlet from a weighted pocket he couldnt have noted at a distance as each saw the other approach

 

there was actually a better story

they stood with the clods of their shadows leaning in heavily beside them  leerily eyeing each other  aware of their imperfections  contemptuous  rude

their manikins however were unlike they

 

He aint sitting around being invisible 

I can see you and him

I dont want there to be any doubt

Pick on someone else then

I said I can see you both

Well  a lot of people act like they dont see him Dont see him in his chair

Chairs missing limbs physical infirmities deformities unfortunately make other people uncomfortable They dont know where to look so they tend to look away  It says more about them individually than its says about you

You dont have the option to look away

 

I didnt look away

No  You didnt look away  You looked hard  And straight at us

You did try to slip us though

If you lost those damn pamphlets What Do We All Have In Common we wouldnt have

We dont subscribe to that shit Not Original Sin Not Were All Born Sinners Not Payment For Our Sin Is Death

And definitely Not Jesus Died For Us *

Thats for some other kind of suckers 

 

Not our kind of tit if you dig my meaning

So whats he going to do

Hes gonna be polite Refuse his pamphlet Thank him for his time Then be on his way

He miss were in a chair

He dont even see the chair  He sees the man

He refutes the man and his religion

Most peoples infirmities or challenges are unseen on purpose 

 

They hide them 

 

They attempt to be who they are not They want you to see what they want you to see What they project

And thats dishonest

Weve too little time for that

We like our liquor straight

---   No thank you  I dont believe in God  I appreciate what you believe for yourself

afternoon,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  10  2. 16

0040,  Moanday,  15  2. 16

*  Patti Smith / Gloria (Jesus Died For Somebodys Sin But Not Mine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E2MyRsApm0