--   Cuntrition really

Youre gonna say that

to me

he wasnt exactly sure where he went off the rails as they talked  he and she

but since He kept trying to butt in  work inside him with His elbow and shoulder

he got more than a little exasperated

--   Back off muthafucker

--   Excuse me

--   Not you  Him

he tossed a thumb stuck out of his fist to his left  pointing it at the side of His face

Im tellin Him  Back off  before we come to fisticuffs  

I care less one way or the other

--   What are you talkin about  Hes the Son of God

--   And Im the Son of Bob  Grew up in Chitown

Ya wanna eat concrete Buddy youre dancin with the right guy

--   Youre threatening Christ

--   If He wants to be pushy  and rude  Hell get treated like Id treat some guy comin out

of a corner tavern full of piss an vinegar an a chip on his shoulder

By me  rude deserves rude

You make exceptions

--   Hes Christ

--   And Im Joe  An average Joe

Average  because everyones my equal  No exceptions

Line forms up single file

You know its forming  you arrive early  otherwise  to the end of the line

Thats fair

Thats a fair return against no investment

So  Christ  To the end of the line

--   Okay  Fine  But amid your flailing youve obscured  havent you  your cuntrition 

remark pointed at me

Because

Im a . . .

--   No

I didnt say that dont put words in my mouth

Its the ragging you and your sisters put on each other over your pasta sauces

Youre so freakin critical of your sauces  and theyre so very different  Different

But differents not better  not better than the others

Theyre obliged by their palates and theyre individual  if you would  creative statements

Like Arts different

and accorded to the tastes that create and or invent them 

                                                                                                   

Make no mistake  I find your sauce tastes best  But your sauce merges with my palate

and sensibilities  We like it spicy and tomatoey  chucks  not puréed

Your sisters sauces are delicious in their own right  But hands down I prefer yours over

theirs every time

When were invited over to their places  were eatin theirs  You wouldnt dare show up 

with your sauce anymore than theyd show at our place with theirs

 

So  imperfect cuntritions 

versus the perfect contrition to God for His perfection

 

Ya dig

 

--   And  so whats Christ got to do with anything

--   He frankly favors yours over your sisters too

But the guys got no idea how to finesse women  and tougher yet  sisters

I wouldnt want your five sisters fallin on my back when eventually Id have to turn it to

them

Hes got to know a crown of thorns and a crucifixion is childs play in comparison

Freakin dagos

Cuntrition

--   Where you come up with this stuff

--   I take my cues from you babe

Youre my fountain of refreshment

I am replete

2343,  Saturday,  18  10. 14    

he came down El Camino Real

a couple of klicks quicker than the posted

25MPH

and slipped into the righthand lane to make a right at the light which would then let him

to an anticipated left onto the 101

                                                          he slipped in behind a woman driving a towncar

which  as evenings approached and sunlight faded  could be easily be mistaken as a

police patrol car

taking his foot off the accelerator  his glide deceleration and a burning green light would
work in concert and easily take him around the corner in her vast wake
 

she took the right

he curled in behind her

she stomped her brakes

at nothing

and sat dead

in the middle of the street

then her right taillight turnsignal came on

hed almost kissed her ass (enthralled as he was with the beauty of his physics and

momentum)

--   Wha the hell

--   Wheres my patient guy  his girlfriend asked

--   Theres nobody in front of her

he could see a lifted three-quarter-ton red pickup truck sitting at the right at the mouth of a stonestrewn alleyway between two high curbs

the three-quarter-ton gobbled up all the drive into the alleyway

its left directional spasmed but the lane leading up the road they turned onto was filled

with traffic waiting a redlight

however

there was an empty driveway to the left of the truck  to the towncars right  that she

could use

it once provided access to The Muffler Shop that had been out of business almost longer

than it had operated

--   Aw comon Honey

Use the drive  You can make the alley from there

evidently things took considerably longer to matriculate through her brain

 

through the considerable rear windshield he took in the back of her head

--   I think Honeys dyed her hair once too often

--   Now youre being rude

She obviously wants to take the driveway the trucks in

--   And Honey has made out theres no room  so she ought to take the muffler shops 

driveway  It aint trespassing

--   And she has to be a Honey to you

--   Wha the hell  Honeys polite for me  I nearly rearended her and now shes stalling

traffic behind us  Its around the corner and the lights green

Besides
I didnt call her cunt

he felt her head turn and her eyes burn holes into the side of his head

some words simply dont play well with women (and yet he was still wondering what

the words were that would upset him)

I do like Honeycunt though

her voice bordered on incredulity

--   Did you say  Honeycunt

Honeycunt

--   I did

And I got to admit it I really like it

Honeycunt

Sounds delicious

Like a ripe melon

--   Stop!

I kinda like it too

they laughed out loud and then smiled at one another

almost eagerly (and if pushed for an admission  hed allow he moved in his jeans)

and then Honey  or Honeycunt  took the initiative and the right up the driveway onto the

vacated muffler shop property and ran up the alley behind the three-quarter-ton

2304,  Friday,  17  10. 14