29.9.14



Maybe if he hadnt been familiar with Hoppers Nighthawks
its hard lines
deliberate light
he might have been more forgiving of his neighbors outdoor lighting above their garage door

it penetrated the blinds into his house late evenings
and belligerently through early morning hours until dawn subtly effaced its illumination

despite him telling them so
 
or perhaps they spiting him because he had said so


a huge spot of ulcerating light
a white etched face and startling edge of the fasciaboard above it  slicing the black night   
and to its left  sidebyside windows oozing a soft blue light  which was a loft above the 
garage 
                   and it was in this loft
as it was

peering 
through the plateglass window at the Nighthawks

the white-capped and uniformed sodajerk bent at his waist  jocular

the redhead  seated in a nondescript red dress admiring folded paper money she held 
warmly in her hand
and beside her 
arguably
a dapper john sporting a satin-beribboned fedora smoking a cigarette nonplus

across from them was a gent sitting on a fixed wooden seat stool having coffee
his back to the glass

he seemed cool to the remnants of the transaction before him
biding his time
sipping some water
her evenings second date
 

no one is jealous of a pro



peoples eyebrows rose  or knitted
Ahem  oftenly greeted his graphic perceptions of Hoppers painting
he readily admitted he had no attributable knowledge
but rather he was informed by the paintings characters
their relaxed manners and insouciance
and vitally
by the two tall stainless steel coffee cisterns that dominated the canvass right
one spent  the other expectant


it was through their sidebyside windows
overlooking a steaming hot tub hidden behind the broad planks of a sevenfoot fence 
they erected  divvying their properties
evidently seeking a kind of anonymity at groundlevel
                                                                      
which they chose not to abide in their loft
not hiding their nakedness or gamesplaying
 
not that his sensibilities were offended
they could frolic and fuck in broad daylight for all he cared
                                                                
his preference was the nights
his nightvision
and the array of stars overhead that were bleached out his eyes by their intrusive lamp


no one is jealous of a pro



when the brilliant relief didnt occur by their accord the globe fixture and bulb were smashed
--   Curious  he said
he commiserated telling them they were fortunate it wasnt a plateglass window broken
which were immensely expensive to replace
had they ever been to Chicagos Art Institute and seen Hoppers Nighthawks
the plateglass windows in the diner would cost a mint to replace

and have to replace again and again



1500,  Sunday,  28  9. 14                                                                                                                                                

28.9.14



--   Mygawd
what little he knew of her
was already more than he cared or wanted to know

he already knew hed have to take a pinch or grain of salt with whatever she had to say
and  truth be known  he was readily available to drop a ton of it on her head
to shut her mouth

she didnt just open her bleachedblonde mouth

she brayed

brayed incoherently upon all sorts of matters without possessing the facts to either
support or furthur her arguments
she regurgitated wholesale right wing talking points and had she stepped back  really
to examine what she was saying she might also recognize her wholesale racist talking
points

if someone got a word in edgewise refuting her earnest glimmered perceptions she 
retorted
--   You dont know what youre talking about

--   Fine
I am anxious for you to prove me wrong
Dont tell me I dont know what Im talking about 
Talk to me how I am errant  Persuade me  Turn me around

--   Persuade you  You havent any faith  I have faith in what I say


there was no refuting faith
the power of pristine faith is that it can be believed without reason or facts
it cant be reduced

its tidy
a neat little bundle
a hardened resilient bright diamond

like the one she wore on her finger
she was married at eighteen to the only boy she had ever been involved with

he was seventeen and had to have his parents permission to wed

four years later
she wasnt so keen on him
shortly after they married he fell sick
something in his genes
something his family had no idea of because they didnt believe in the prowess of science
and medicine
                        it was in Gods hands
everything was in Gods hands

and because he was ill
he couldnt work
he couldnt father children

she resented his illness

she resented that she had to become their provider
resented he couldnt impregnate her
she was supposed to multiple
how was she to fulfill her obligation to God

she stuck in her thumb and pulled out a bad plum
and it disgusted her

all her girlfriends had babies
had virile working husbands
  
she was cheated
 

there was adoption
there was her vows
--   I didnt vow to this

“in sickness and in health”
--   Thats beside the point

if it was thrown around if she were the one who was incapacitated  suffering
--   Im not am I  Thats not the case  Thats utter supposition 
                                                            
Im not unhealthy
 

her girlfriends counseled her to leave him
--   Hell get half my house (her grandparents put up the money that paid for their house)
Why should he get half  He failed me




that ton of salt
 
it would put her out of her misery

maybe it was just the trick she was looking for



Nah  he thought  Ill take her with a grain of salt  One pure white grain at a time


2055,  Friday,  26  9. 14