13.7.14



--   Nah deyaintneberseedisbukagin           
                                                                               he didnt wipe the spittle from his lips
and chin
                 I followed his angst and violation
nothing like it was taught to us when we were school                                                                                                             
suppose Curriculum circled its wagons long before we descended and excised those parts 
it deemed unpalatable
never mind the reportage was honest or true                                                                                                 
Curriculum nixed that victors make rules    slayers make rules                                                                                                    
                                                                                                         thats the Rule                                                                                                                                                                                                        
the buk  -  as he snarled  -  was Fear Itself
he read me a passage from it                                                                                                    
                                                  the hackles on his neck and back twisted into spines
his fingers hooked like talons and it
almost fell from his hands
 
                                             “. . . one drop of Negro blood placed in the veins of the purest Caucasian destroys the inventive genius of his mind and strikes palsied his 
creative faculty . . . ”
                                                                                    
he topped it off with this red cherry
from out the mouth of Mississippi Senator Theodore G. Bilbo
“. . . the difference in the intellect, in the brain, in the mind (between blacks and whites, making) the white man throughout all time . . . the superior race, the ruling race, the race of creating power, the race of art, the race of literature, the race of music that moves the soul”



                                                                                                                           it hung in the air 
for a long time between us 
                                           before he looked up from the page   glaring
if we werent friends
I would have thought he was glaring at my white skin
               
--   The race of music that moves the soul . . . Really          
                                                                                          he laughed abruptly
Ya muthafuckers struggle to dance

--   And you cant swim for your life
                                                                                   we both bursted into laughter
almost to tears


                                                                                Yah deyaintneberseedisbukagin


                                                                  No  it wasnt hard to see from then on hed grip that hardbound buk in his hands  finger it  run chapter and verse out of it as deftly as he spoke 
from Gospel                                                                                                                                                                  from the tattered black leather Bible  the only thing his old man left him 
when he died 
  
                           it went everywhere he did 
now it had a companion                          

  


2204,  Friday,  11  7. 14

12.7.14



after several good whiskys   neat
he couldnt be held responsible for shit
                                                                   not for the hummingbird sugar water madly 
boiling on the electric range
which he ignored
despite it smelling like burnt caramel or marshmallows   and permeating the house

yes                                                                                                                                                     he did put it on the stove
                                                                                                                  
yes
he admired its first traces of thin bubbles beginning 
                                                                              their silver threads becoming globes 
shaking  on the bottom of the pot  breaking loose  appearing like perfect spheres of 
mercury
in search of other spheres to meddle and mingle with . . .
                                                              
yes
he had admired their sudden breach from the pots bottom and rocking the surface . . .
    
although                                                                                                                                               he was already imagining them merging with the air in the yellow kitchen as if he was 
submerged in an atmosphere of slick slippery mercury
                                                                                               and the room filling
filling   pushing at the glass paned windows  bulging them  erupting like flamethrowers 
into the sweating mercury atmosphere outside the house
                                                                                               its mad boil then scorching and browning the bellys of the clouds suspended above

suspended
they had been anchored in place   staked out
by a god who took exception to their pitiful construction  its bad artistry 
                                                                                                                     and while
he couldnt punish himself 
                                           he could certainly punish  torment  and torture his creations
it was something he excelled at  
                                                     excelling at it as well as he excelled at his divine 
creativity


yes he had several whiskys

and he was going to have several more
the night was early

the elastic taffy bubbles forming on the stove were a promising beginning to whatever 
was to follow

yes
he was out ahead of himself
but he  of all the things he was certain of  in this queer xistence   swirling about his head 
like a swarm of blue bottle flies

he was blinkered-certain of not wanting to follow in his wake


if some thought god fucked things up

he was proving himself an enthusiastic capable understudy



2054,  Thursday,  10  7. 14