Ouchie
Stop doing that
beat up with a bowling ball
wasnt his usual tavern
but the barmaid was hot
0535, Moanday,
26 9. 22
1127,
Twosday, 27 9. 22
The Power Station Get It On (Bang a Gong) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2vHbXI2p4k
27.9.22
He understands that everything he
observes doesnt have to be recorded documented chronicled commentated yah
Youve seen him workthe stacks
of paper wha do you think
when his innerMariachi talk about him
behind his backso
they think he
listens they thinkincorrectly
that because hes able to shut them out of his internal dialogues their
conversations are private
often forgetting
no him no them
I think nobody has that kind of
time
That kind of time will always be
a matter of how one chooses to spends ittha he makes the effort is
sufficient He
understands hell fall short
An thas because he doesnt seeNo
no see is wrong perceive doesnt perceive things like others do
Evidently
Recall the feather molt this
morning bobbing above him it coaxingcircling
many many times before disappearing above the overhangthe hummingbirds at the
feedertheir shadows on the window a
teeming he coudnt take his eyes off Whered he go Suddenly he was vacantya did feel that
Yes
The
scant shooting star last night his riveted appreciation he thought he might be the only person in the
world who witnessed it
Yes The ghost of the English walnut in the yardthe
apricot ghost beyond it vaporous but there
The bird shadows thrown on
the ground around him as he walks and readscatching them peripherally then
gazing at them
Then suddenly gone Vacant
Wha is tha
I don know
addressing them they flinched
Shoudoccur to you Times I don feel Im of this place don
belong Long to be where I fit
Fit Thas odd to say
Odder to be
the Mariachi shrugged the many gathered beyond them shrugged too
1045, Sunday,
25 9. 22
1047, Twosday,
27 9. 22
E.S.T. Inner City, City Lights https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iajtly6zH1U
26.9.22
Hmm . . she said feels like he’s decided for us.
his girlfriend wasnt being accusatorycondescending she could be OHbrother could she honestly but no she was being considerateconsidering him and
her in the sudden realm they only teased about while lying in bed until they
silenced each other his cock in her mouth his mouthtongue in at her pussy hard to hear when at opposite ends an over
slurping an sucking occasional
gags
it was golden hour
sun was setting
in a new bar
friends told them about it krazygood mixed drinks his girl was a witch an alchemist how could they not give it a try
the front door swungopen it was their habit to sit side by
side facing it
in
breezed a raspberryblonde more raspberry than blonde the sun behind her illuminatedpainted a vivid aura
halo around her head and shoulder
they were struck
his eyes slid to hers she nodded
the woman enticed themrarely were
they enticed
such enticements most often
played out in their bedroomthey enjoying separate imaginings he was always curious of them what each saw anif they could share show would they
since very few men caught her eyethey had to compete with him he teased they usually acknowledged
handsome women they had similar
tastes the women looked like her
this one did not
through the doorinside she recognised
that they were enjoying her she noddedsmiled
said good evening as she passed their table
there was outdoor seating behind them and while they were attracted to
it the inspired décor within held them inside
after a couple hours a couple drinksmaybe courage he asked his girl
what she thought if he bought raspberry a drink he admitted he hadnt shaken her yet
Funny
you should say, neither have I.
he asked the waitress she floated
in an out if she might know what the raspberryblonde outdoors was drinking
My kittycat?
This is her haunt I know exactly what she’s drinking, or what she might like,
sometimes she leaves it to me, leaves me to read her.
Yes please wed like to buy her a drink
he upped the ante And well have what you serve her
You got it.
Dirty Bird martinis extra olives
they were stunnedpleasantly flummoxed a favourite
of theirs
not five minutes later raspberry
came in to thank them for her drink
putting her hand on
Esmeraldas shoulder Thank you for the
drink, I’m Madeleine.
Esmeralda said youre welcome her
name and Joe We’ve been calling you
raspberry, your hair is beautiful.
piqued You’ve been talking about me? Are you the reason
why my ears have been ringing?
Intermittently he said We cant be responsible the whole while likely others have noticed you and are
intrigued
she smiled big dimples slyly coy I intrigue you?
humoured Esmeralda answered As you know . . yes . you’re very striking.
Thank you.
You’re a handsome couple, I
noticed when I entered.
We may have noticed you longer finally I understand a sustained glance
they
laughedharmonised he was in heaven neither Esmeralda or Madeleine covered their
mouths
That’s rare, choice, a sustained glance,
I haven’t heard that before.
he nodded Its an innarestin story
Perhaps you’ll share it with me,
however, I’m with friends, I wanted to thank you for the drink. It’s wonderful
to meet you.
she shook their hands had
a firm handshake and returned outdoors
later raspberry returned the
favourbought them a Dirty Bird
Esmeralda said Well, this might
be one too many. sighed
Could you get me a water? I’ll have to nurse it . . and I have to go to the Ladies
room.
he stood helped her with her chair not that she needed it
he watched her walk
to the rear of the bar until she was out of sight
he
dug how she moved
when the waitress passed he asked
for two waters no ice
he thought What a pleasant evening he gave a private thought about Madeleine and Esmeralda
it slightly aroused him
he stopped thoughting
made him laugh
Esmeralda didnt return for a long
while
the bar had filled he was too
involved with Esmeralda
only time he looked away from her was when someone or a party entered it was a popular place
I’m back I’m sorry you’ll have to
excuse me . . I ran into Madeleine in the Ladies room.
And
And what happens in the Ladies
room stays in the Ladies room. she laughed
I crack myself
up.
Clever clever
She seems nic . .
.
. She is nice, I like her.
You like her I like her
Weve had very few
differences while weve been seeing each other
Its nice Yare nice
Flatterer.
Get me closer to getting into
your pants tonight
If you play your cards right.
Whaif I said its in the stars
Optimism dies hard.
An
Im a diehard optimist
casuallysubtly she reached
between his legs and gave him a squeeze You hardly
disappoint.
Clever clever Yare on a roll
he held up his martini To stars optimism you an erections
she took up her glass I’ll drink to that.
they sipped
he stood Baby got to get the blood flowing Im going to settle up so when we finish our
drink we can vamoose
he found their server she pulled his tab card he settledtipped with
cash
he thanked her for knowing Madeleines
drink affording them an opportunity to meet her
in the aisle walking back to
Esmeralda Damn
she was something to behold she couldnt have heard him though
she turned precisely to his approachsmiling Maybe she did Witch Alchemist Who knew a womans powers
a
strong hand at his shoulder enough to
stop him short of the table he
turned raspberry
Leaving?
No Settled up Well leave after we finish your drink I assume Madeleine thanked you in the Ladies room I thank you
You can do better than that.
Esmeralda stood
if she could read
his mind she could certainly hear Madeleine
Better
Yes. raspberry put her arms around him and gave
him a delicious warm soft wet kiss
he kissed back was pretty sure she felt him grow against
her belly
the kiss over leaning away she
said We should fuck.
sidestepping him she went to Esmeralda embraced herkissed her as softly sweetly warmly wet
We should fuck . you make me wet. I’ll be outside for a bit. she walked
to the front door
he walked up to Esmeralda Innarested
she stepped close to himobscuring her handgrabbed his cock
Hmm
. . feels like he’s decided for us.
2210, Sunday,
17 7. 22
1222, Monday,
26 9. 22
BeeGees Lonely Days
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3YC5sc_V6I
25.9.22
IED
he might have guessed
he sat across from himsat on metal folding chairs they
werent meant to be comfortable shaped in an rough oval to accommodate
all the menTHREE hours ten minute break halfway through fifty bucks a session fiftytwo
sessions
talk
about domestic violence
unless it was a
team sport
men dont bond
no gay circle jerks daisy
chains no lovefest
usually during breaks a couplethree
guys who took exception to what was said inside to them about their actions snarled at each other the facilitator smoking a cigarettehumoured took the briefest
moment to remind them if fists were thrown theyd be bounced from the program violate
their probation spend jail time prison time which would certainly be adjusted Up
almost a third were familiar being inside
the guy who made it a point to sit across from him
said as little as he did
during session “sharing” his was clipped unpunctuated run-onkeep up it had the makings of a game saying all he had to say in one breath the sole period provided when he took a
breath Fini
he didnt like him
but he didnt like anyone in the chamber
the guy across from him was small like a vial of nitroglycerin a jam shot looked
like an IED
he
wouldnt turn his back on him
threequarters way through the batterers
program he was riding a city bus
IED got onboardsaw him sat
beside him
the bus wasnt filled up
he said Isn’t this cozy? said it
facing straight forward
he turned his head took in his profilehadnt seen it before
One mans cozy is
anothers creepy
he turnedlooked him in the face I creep you? he tried to make it sound like it hurt
Somethinbout you man puts me offcant
put my finger on it but its somethin youve left
out of the ingredientsoff the menu
Ingredients? Menu? Now you’re creeping me out, buddy . . who the
fuck talks like that?
I do
I aint your buddy
I sat here to make nice.
Yacouda sat across the aisle and made nice
But I like things up close and personal.
I don care whacha like
You don’t?
Ya heard me
Awright . . awright.
he stuck his foot into the aislepushed off
with his handgripped the bench with his otherslipped thin air and sit across
from him
Better? touch of a sneer on his face
Thank you Yah better IED
reminded him of a rat
So Bob whahave you left off out of your story
Not important . preceded this
bullshit, happened long ago.
I disagree our pasts make us who we arehave become why history is studied
Studied? I wasn’t much of a student.
I struggled to be a student
Struggled? he cocked to his to a side
Yah
Most things school taught didnt interest
me Had it I woudve been a good
studentthey woudve held my attention rather than me fighting to remain present
The sessions are like
school.
Bad school
Agree
Howbout that . . we agree on
something.
Yah
Yah.
IED noddedkept nodding was thinkingparsing sparring eyes
were far off
he jumped gently
Whas missing Your story
he turned his head faced forward
in profile it appeared he was weighing
it
he to be honest was
content not seeingwitnessing the twitch storm head on
Nam. I served two tours as a
tunnel rat.
he
might have guessed
1205, Reggaefriday,
19 8. 22
1129, Sunday,
25 9. 22
Creedence Clearwater Revival Who’ll Stop the Rain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIPan-rEQJA
24.9.22
he yelled
it reverberated through the
housetickled the joists overhead that supported the second floor
HAPPY
ANNIVERSARY BABY
maybe his yell pierced the thin
veil between Life and Death Existence and
Existence elsewhere wherever that was
ghosts
were able
he was jealous
he could admit that
this was the only time he would
he was jealous as a teenager once
walking home from the party that
night he thought hard about it
at home he looked at himself in
the bathroom mirror
he didnt like what he saw looking
back at him
Cold Turkey
teenager
he dropped it
jealousy was uglyhe
wanted no part of itYET he couldnt persuade
himself not to be jealous of ghoststheir ability to go between spheres to
interact Exist
he hoped she heard him
he stood still
listened
talking to himself Maybe
next year
it was fortyfive years to the day
I love you baby
1012, Saturday,
24 9. 22
West Side Story Somewhere
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtwIFrtZ7ww
One Hand One Heart https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-caGMqve2Hw
he tried hard not to be that wayYaknow THAT way
he was patient
but No-such-thing-as-an-Absolute
tried his patience for brevity NAh no absolute
NAh goin down the rabbithole yet again
What?
Do you listen to yourself when
you talk or is there some kind of disassociationdisconnect that you cant hear
yourself
Yare absolutely flying in the face of
wha you insistdeclare you believe There
are no exceptions manNONE
What did I say?
Wha did ya say Yare in the midst of it
he stroked his chin NAh felt whiskers he could see on his face that NAh thought he had
to shave
Hint You were tryin to advise me Must have forgot who you are talking to I do
not like solicitationsnot crowdsource never
keen on those who woud proselytize
Get down off your pulpit soapbox highhorse yare makin no inroads Ya know better than try I shoud think If
yare thinkin I woud think
Whenever you interrupt you throw
me off.
So yare accusing me of makin ya forget
wha the hell you were talkinbout Thas
rich I know Ya
just said . .
. . Then say.
I gave you a hint Absolute
That’s not a hintI said I don't remember.
a
sigh began but he cut it off You can always go pickup where you left off Always Never Absolutes
Tha ships sailed
You’re
being stubborn.
Or
You want me to make the mistake you
made I told you wasnt a good idea No So ya
made your bed Had to sleep in it
Does it ever occur to you that
you’re inhumane.
Harsh Brutal Yes
Serves my purpose
What the hell is your purpose?
Tha no one wastes my time
Its finite
if NAh was going to say something
it caught in his throat
some time
Day-between-Two-Ts afternoon, 21 9. 22
1240, Saturday,
24 9. 22
E.S.T. Leucocyte I.Ab Inito https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cy-riKbFIqE
she said her mothers sister
that was loadedhis mothers sister
was his aunt
she
didnt say that
offering his condolenceshe was still contending with recent
griefs
it was water off
a ducks back
a cool cucumber
tempted
him
but he reined in relented
an airport terminal wasnt a place to interrogate her about her relationship
with her recently deceased mothers sister
despite his grating curiosity
he recognised the tyranny of
family
also recognised familial love
they were woven togethernot one
without the other
which was improbable
the possibility of Loving singularly
was to enable it in spite of oneself
not
his cup of tea
he did not make allowances
for familydid not excuse themmake excuses for them
they had to hold their own with
him as he made everyone else
he as imperfect as they
in his book no
one was exceptional
they were on the same flight to
California
had the plane been on time they
would not have engaged each other
inadvertently
he fell into conversation the fella he flew
with was an intractable gossip and if it werent for his blathering he wouldnt
have known
as she went to stand to boardshe was flying First Class he
stood offering again his condolences
she noddedwalked off exiting stage left
cool cucumber
walking away he imagined her face
in his eyes etched lined not happy
he wondered if she ever smiled a day in
her life
1600 approximately,
Day-between-Two-Ts, 21 9. 22
0909, Saturday,
24 9. 22
Burial Ashtray Wasp
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VQSJ7Y41I0
23.9.22
it woke
he hadnt the imagination
he could feel it in the corner of
his eye slightly impingingburring his vision he wasnt awake long
he touched it with the tip of his
left ringfinger soft moist
he wiped it from his eye wiped it onto the leg of his tartan plaid pajama rheum he
preferred that to junk in the corner of it eye
he intended to do
laundry that day
the rheum
it moved
he blinkedhe wasnt sure it did
it shivered
rolled over
beginning to crawl disgusted he crushed it smeared it no remorse
he shuddered
he stoodup went to wash his face
walking up the hallway to the
bathroom he stoppedpulled on the fabric confirmed it smeared
it was
JESUSCHRIST a maggot in the
corner of his eye
he nearly retched
he continued to the bathroom
turned the cold water tap
bending over the sink he looked in the mirror
another
expressed
from his left eyeCREEPEDFREAKED him out he gouged
the weekend
he was to have beers with his
kidbrother watch college football at a
tavern
his brother arrivedused his keywent through the door
to discover what the terrible distress was that he heard inside
his brother toppled over on
his hands and knees in the bathtub
bloodied
eyeless
guessing 1220, Reggaefriday,
23 9. 22
239preferred, Reggaefriday
entering his bedroom the crumpled
colourful bandanna on the night stand said Look at you
he was stunned
Ohdoncha dare be coy with me
Coy?
she grimacedhated to be lied to
spat Yes
Coy.
I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re
talking about.
Where were you last night
he thought who knew a handkerchief could talklet alone
know hours of the night . . or day for that matter
Nowhere.
Youre cheating on me arent you
cheating having sex with a woman he didnt think he was cheating
dont cheat on your handkerchief
shell know
0840, Thursday,
18 8. 22
1124, Reggaefriday,
23 9. 22
Chrissie Hynde/The Pretenders I’ll Stand By You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nobHZ3nOp38
I’m
a Mother https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x30pMY-YlZc
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