25.8.14



It was an improbable
provocative
utterly disarming question

he posed it
curiously
innocently

completely lost
in her complexion
the passivity in her profile
half-moon expression
her simple beauty accented
by the citys animated colored lights
their hue
hung on her face
and behind her
her shadow scarcely etched
on a serene bank of glass windows
their quicksilver
ivory linen
  

it wasnt until the words were completely out of his mouth

and in her ears

that he recognized
his question
improper
perhaps vulgar

--   Im sorry  he said   I was
taken by you
your features
expression

your demeanor 
                                                                                                                          
it seemed as if you were wearing a mask
a luminous mask
your beauty hiding in it
as the moons beauty hides 
luxuriates
in its face

but you really dont recognize it
unless you look very hard

                                                            
he was blinded  perhaps
too struck or nervous not to be more aware
of the depth of his question

it was not the kind of question one asks lightly



and yet

anyone would find it virtually impossible

not to try and answer it




--   What are you thinking of . . . at this very moment ?



0000,  Monday,  25  8. 14
hats off to the film Le Week-End

24.8.14



yawanna twist his nut

go ahead

ya go right ahead n tell im
tell im you didnt have his back
tell im about yer obligations yer sense of responsibility
tell im   all about yer honor
(what the fucks that huh)
that it lies
with some bloodless corporate icon   some bland slogan Marketing thought clever

and whos to argue with Marketing

  

in the course of their four five minute heated disgussion 
his only defense was  --  fiduciary obligation  --  to mean  poignantly elucidated 
accusations
--   You dropped the ball  You didnt do your job  You put the screws to me rather than stand up 
which you should have  were obliged to

                                                        And then you squawk fiduciary obligations   to a company 
fiduciary obligations outweighing the obligation you assumed on my behalf twenty years ago
your fiduciary  
up-the-ass
warrants you not having my back
warrants you refusing to stand up to higher-ups for fear of making waves    or worse
singling yourself out as a less-than-teamplayer  who  in the pinch might 
not play ball
toe the line
or further their obsessive tact


the Bark  Bark  Bark  into his ears were
--   I have fiduciary obligations to the company
   
fiduciary

sounds insidious

like he was telling him  in Latin  Fuck you 
or in some obscure crank language  Ya fuckin douche

one gets a little Edgy
when fiduciary  frankly  becomes the lexicon for  I sold you down the river
funny a white man should ever get edgy about that
not that that was ever a white mans fear

  
fiduciary

fiduciary obligations



--   Here  This is for you
he took a folded paper from inside a blue payment envelope he held in his hand and stuffed 
it down the neck of his shirt

he paled a bit when he grabbed him roughly by the collar 
(were talking white collar)
--   Its my remedy my absolution  Its what you should have gotten for me without me ever asking

--   What is it

--   Youd ask the same damn question even after you looked at it  You dont see what the main office communicates  You never see things from my  a customers perspective 
It confirms the payout I told you I wanted two years ago  and repeatedly  during the interim  whenever I asked you to intercede on my behalf
Which you did when asked  Good dog  Hurrah  And were told No  And accepted No
Because the fact of the matter is
it wasnt your ass
your loss

But it was
and is

You took No
because they told you No
You didnt push
I know you know that

You didnt push

--   They said No  When they say No who am I to argue
--   Youre suppose to argue
for me
You were obliged to argue
for me
Oh
Fiduciary

I know differently now



he pulled a check from inside the payment envelope
--   This  Is what remains of my accounts with your company
One account
A mock piddling of what it was
I suppose  oddly  it is a reflection of your fiduciary obligation and responsibility to the company
And when they ask you can tell them
Im sure they hawkeye your bottomline as if it was the greatest ass known to Man
You cant answer their questions
because Im confident theyll be beyond you
have em give me a call
Ill bring em up to speed


I cant tell ya the contempt  the temptation Ive got goin on inside me                                                                                  
to call you a cocksucker to yer face 
                                                                                                   
But                                                                                                                                                            
yaknow

I dont think someone who sucks their own cock

can be called a cocksucker



0105,  Sunday,  24  8. 14