24.11.24

    the Fates asked Clotho The Spinner  Lachesis The Measurer Apportioner   Atropos The Unbending Inflexible One

they asked  Doncha wish you could talk to Gawd?

he tilted his head forwardbrought his hand to his chin hid his humourchuckle
                                                                                    he appreciated they used his lingo however complimentsflattery fell flat on their face when attempted on him

they werent foolinpersuadin him
                                     Nah  Too much talkinyappin gets in the way of doin
Chandogya Upanishad  You know itof course you do  Tat twam asi
                                                                         which he understood to mean Use your Death  Use your Life  William James translated it as  That Thou Art  “. . . that capacity to conceive the immersion of all thought in the ‘blooming, buzzing confusion’ of ‘pure experience’”

Taedium vitae state of extreme ennui weariness loathing of life  James said “My words are to deal only with the metaphysical which is peculiar to reflecting men.”

Chaplin “Life isn’t a meaning, but a desire.”

hed skip jump rope hold hands with any of them

                                                      Nah so there was no mistake Ive no interest in yakkin
You’re very certain?
                      between them they were spinninghandling someones life  were their words a threat
he didnt think so

apparently they understood

they implored him again Doncha wish?

he couldnt staunch his laugh 
                                  I apologise   No  I do not wish

for a moment they quit their workspied each other  turned their gaze on him

he didnt drop his eyes from theirs  his spine stiffened
                                                          there was no submission in him

    We understand. they uttered

Wha do ya understand
others may have been horrified

We  Understand
                   their expressionssneers veered towards Gorgon quality  another trio of godly sisters  Stheno Euryale Medusa
           but he did not turn to stone

Wednesday,  3  1. 06
1823,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

the will of black sleep
                        demands catatonic Sleep

he deniesunveils it
                     emits queer images defies physics liberates senses sensibilities morals  keenly unbinds unmoors pairs  drafts currents  revolutions counterclockwise akimbo bloodless bloody  humid arid monochromatic coloured
he defiles Sleep
                 drives a stake through its vampires heart gleefully stomps it like a puddle of mercury  broken thermometers
                    then patiently waits for the concave floor to reassemble its will to assault it again

he doesnt quibbleconfesses
                              Sleeps not inviolate  My spirit is strong

   his spirit incensesviolates black sleeps will

Tuesday,  15  5. 07
1210,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

William Empson in a review by Paul Alpers is quoted  “The feeling that life is essentially inadequate to the human spirit (because the spirit is tethered, anchored, in the stasis of living – its single form – “of standing?”), and yet that a good life must avoid saying so, is naturally at home with most versions of pastoral.”

“of standing”  position status reputation

pastoral  literature portraying an idealised version of country life
                                                                       triggered him to write didnt grapple with it  let it flow

human spirit
                 human spit human squirt humanid emission humidhuman emission


    I am, therefore I cum.

Tolstoi  “Art . . . is the one sphere in which human beings can assert their freedom from history.”  which means one doesnt have to look back over their shoulder    

Tuesday,  15  5. 07
0943,  Sunday,  24  11. 24

23.11.24

NOW (2113 – Saturday – 23 11. 24).

                                         What do you got?
Guess well find out


    You don’t sound very optimistic.
Im tryin to get past tha baby girls head
                                         Like marzipan  bright blue eyes
I usually don care for sweets

     She was delicious
That . . . . that . that’s not . optimistic.

Optic-mistic
              Youll note I said it asif it were hyphenated highfiendnated caffiend  callowfiendnated
An immature

inexperienced

fuckinup fiendishness
                        Like anything it takes works  It doesnt appear out of nowhere asif Touched by the Hand of God

    Hand of God.  Creating fiendishness?

Yakiddin me I bet sometimes He throws a handful of mud at the wall to see wha sticks

Hes a funny motherfucker wicked sense of humour
Hang your Son on a cross
                             Bit like eatin a babys head



I don’t think you got anything.

    You

Me?

Whayagot

Why you asking me?

You asked me
                Goes two ways wha ya got

I got you’re troubling me.



I said you’re troubling me.

Nothing?                                                                                                                     

As I understand an interviewing technique
                                                Remain silent  Anfor some reason it provokes the interviewee They become uncomfortable think they answered incorrectly or insufficiently an need to explain but theyre not givin a lead in any direction so they fill it with noise that has absolutely nothing to do with what was asked

    I have nightmares too.

It wasnt a nightmare

That was a nightmare.

Time comes I have one Ill tellya


    Now you sound optimistic.
I am
       Were treading in my reality my long an unwinding real

Long and unwinding . . .
                            Reel? Or real?
Spell

R E E L.   R E A L.

You said it

What do you mean?

Either orders accurate

he thought REEL REAL REAL REEL
                                       That’s uncomfortable.
However
            Accurate


    Wasn’t a nightmare?

Not according to what Ive witnessed

    You think you have PTSD?

Who doesnt   Baggage
                          Nobody gets out of childhood without baggage


taking in sun taking in vitamin D . . . or is it A


   dream
some may call it a nightmare
                               his dreams were other peoples nightmares
hes known this a longlong time

been insinuated he ought to be ashamed

he countered
              Like being wealthy  shitty job but somebodys got to do it         

    usually floored who tried to shame him
so he does his small part in the big scheme of things because
                                                                  this thingLife has to be a scheme a hoax
nothingNo Thing can be this full of shit by accident

or chaos is shit

or else were evolving into shit


    he called it a dream Wednesday night/morning to Thursday 1/17 – 1/18/2007
A DREAM
              eating a beautiful baby girls headHUH
maybe shouldnt be writing this in the sun in the light of day
                                                                   Darkness Required
from which it spawned


a sharp clean cut
                    amputation
rather than a decapitation

the childs face

wideeyed

serene

a hint of humour
                      she gurgled

Friday,  19  1. 07
1507,  Saturday,  23  11. 24

Paul Klee: One eyes sees, the other feels.

Octavio Paz: Truth is the vision closed eyes see.

Jonathan Swift: In the Land of the Blind, the one-eyed man is King.


    he watched the moonwatched Her  did not believe in a Man in the Moon

he is beside himself when the moon is fullbeside himself when her thinnest white cuticle present

they incite him
               the foreplay interplay intercourse innercoarse  grasped gaspedemptied
evolved 

revolved

rollved

ovoid
       not avoideddisregarded


    he watched keenly
saw
      witnessed



Hes out again

Whas in it for him

Come  You feel it

Yes
      Like a tide

An overwhelming tide
Yes
      
I always grab ahold of something so Im not shed Once I saw a Mariachi go
Their scream was horrible

Ive heard tell of tha Mariachi 
                                 Its true  I thought tha was a myth
No  True


    Eyes are the windows to the soul

Yes Hes graced us with tha
                               We see because he sees
ThankGawd for his eyes

either paperwork to either side of it January of 2006 or 2007
1214,  Saturday,  23  11. 24

it is a place

we never made

or arrived


a place of best intentions

a place together they could describe

if separate it differed only by slight shades
they could see it
                 feel the heat of its blush  its promise

just on the other side

of the next rise
it never waned
                 
                   not rise after rise
                                       after rise
                                                  after
                                                             rise
                                                                        after
after . . . .


it was a place

we never made
                  or will
cant

because

only he was now


he hadnt the will to be there without her

    to share

Tuesday,  2  1. 07
1133,  Saturday,  23  11. 24

There you are

she sat near the end of table in the lunch room facing the door she did that right half her sandwich was eaten remnants of fruit
she was chewing
napkin in hand

I was looking for you

stopped chewingcovered her mouth  Why? began chewing again

Your bio Mimieux  Yawrote onehunredanforty words of threehunredforty  I know I counted in those oneforty you twice described her stature

Coud have written Mimieuxs small a contraction a word saved the other onehunredanthirtyeight for composition  Id bet FourNine by her photo despite zip scale

You don’t bet.

No  Blackrimmed glasses Dutch Boy haircut   Oriental FourNine 

Oriental is inappropriate.

Not if I describe as Occidental
                                chuckled  An accidental to boot too   She looks all of eleven or twelve
She’s a woman.

ID her

I didn’t.

Fourteen tops Makeup makes the woman


    What’s your point?

Its a lousy bio of a person of interest I wanted to tell you to your face unlike your shenanigans

Oughta stick to your Neighbors column Question at the head Three responses vetted photos names ages cities beside their quotes

I don’t want to.

No you don
             Nepotism has advantages

she pushed her chair back stood straightened her A-line skirt
                                                                 It provides the benefit of Ironstone plat . .
. . Burleigh 

Yes.   Burleigh.  To eat your lunch from, silverware, mugs for your coffe . .
. . I eat from my lunchbox drink from the top of my thermos

    You do. Others don’t.
                            Could suppose they suffer benefits.
Letem

 

    You’ll excuse me.

Teed it up but Ill let it go

he left the roomdidnt hold the door for her as she came around the end of the table leaving her sandwich plate an coffee for someone else to cleanup

rainy dark AM,  Saturday,  23  11. 24
1000,  Saturday

22.11.24


nearing Christmas
                    dismally  Retail
Christmas was rolled out no sooner than Halloween Day-of-the-Dead passed

    dismally
                Business has to have its way no matter what people thought
a selfprescribed Mandate

personally they were full of shit

it wasnt until after Thanksgiving that his kids put their Christmas lists together
                                                                                      sheaves
made him chuckle

they told him and their mother that they didnt want everything on the list Well, that’s a lie. Everything would be nice.
to a one
          Not everything. Just thought Santa would appreciate options.

Genius
         was from their mothers side

or maybe girls and women think alike
he never thought that way
                             which wasntisnt to say he didnt appreciate that

they were manymany steps ahead of him



nearing Christmas
                     he had yet to receive their listsusually Johnny-on-the-Spot
he called
           Whas up

Been too busy.

they were adults now

What about you?

Ive been thinkin more about you than myself

Maybe you ought to give it some serious thought.

good advice
             hadnt thought  tit for tat
Tits
Mariachi
Stuff it
Ill think
            he thought
Nothing he wanted

Whadid he need


inside a couplethree days
                               decided  they could go in on it together
one by one he called
                      insisted  Together

if it were a conference call they could have formed a choral group
                                                         Christ Papa.
they werent impressed
                         A new A.I.O. toilet seat
Mines old

1615,  Thursday,  21  11. 24
1343,  reggaefriday,  22  11. 24

he was riding home on a bus on a long treelined avenue
                                                            was reading of John Coltranes Sixties struggle with free jazz black identity primal screams

    the sun feltAah so good

he set the book on his lap and leaned his head against the glass
                                                                     lookedup
enjoyed the sunlightflash an shade sunlightflash an shade sunlightshade sunlightshade sunlightshadestaccato sun interruptedtrippedup by trunks by palm tree fronds
                                                       chuckled
reminded him of lookingup girls skirts as they wentup steps to secondstorey thirdstorey classrooms in junior high an high school

maybe they werent quickenough to know what he was doing or maybe they didnt carecould have cared less
                                                                                                                   gave him a passing-class thrill

curiosity whettedhe couldnt help himself
Friday nights
                going to chaperoned school dances
he approached girls he recognisedthose he didnt
                                                    and during slow dances 
particularly at the beginning of Stairway to Heaven asked 

he received shy smiles lurid ones
                                      but they never said
not one

    girls women intrigued him

then an now     

Sunday,  17  12. 06
1255,  reggaefriday,  22  11. 24
Zeppelin  Stairway to Heaven  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPSkNFODVRE

     admission  perhaps emission
                                    hungup a bit on obscurecures
he lookedup palm tree skirts to soothe himselfunruffle the hackles raised on his neck by the palm slaughter for no other reason or purpose than Insurances insisting that they may be destructive or worse  killer palms
                                                                                                        Fronds fall.
Not if the trees are maintained
Buildings were built around them

he was ignored at all the Public Meetings


the crime scenes remain
                          their ringlet stumps
that he still seeks out
remembering
               he used to push dates up against them  kissem

they ignored the street and foot traffic ignored the Get a room.
                                                                  those could only wished they were in their shoes
those “rude prudes”
                      his dates laughed at his pronouncements  Donya think
they did

together they laughed

were having too much fun


    he missed the palms
                           ofttimes catching himself hmm  Without You
  
Friday,  15  12. 06
1203,  reggaefriday,  22  11. 24
Harry Nilsson  Without You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dnUv3DUP4E

listening to 10,000 Days  Tool
                                 invigorating

History  scads mine yours ours
                                  It may not appreciate the applied term but let it comeround an lodge a complaint

theyre held in innocuous scraps within letters obscure paintings newspaper magazine articles overlooked repositories that somehow have eluded the soil of time
                                                hidden
crushedcrumpled between pottery and porcelain flattened between china plates lining or rolled to protect fragile odd pieces of remembrances fetishes heirlooms childhood toys

unpacked unfurled  found

musty  yellowed
                  their tongues talk again to tell their truths or are exposed by time to be lies
fabrications
propaganda
               but not until mined or minded are they valuable  culpable
if either

if ever


    he liked to be cured by the obscure

Thursday,  7  12. 06
Wednesday,  13  12. 06
1119,  reggaefriday,  22  11. 24

he caught her expression
                               Whas up

    Nothing.
                Just lookin’.


Youre looking at me

    Who cut your hair?

My barber Milo

He take into account your cowlicks?

Beats me I was shaggy needed my hair cut

You’ve seen?

Whadaya mean

You look in the mirror.

I don pay too much attention If it looks awkward I wet it brush it
                                                                       I don look at me

I don’t look at me.   Really?

Yah
     Not unless I need to be somewhat presentable
But for tha matter I could plead grunge  Cobain bedhead leave aside the shotgun partnot twentyseven
No ones lookin at me

I’m looking at you.

But not in while
                  Nobodys lookin I don circulate
Circulate?

Socialise You know tha
                          Ya think Milo did a poor job

I think your hair could be . . . more . even.

Hes been cutting hair longer than Ive be alive
                                                 Good chance Im his only client owns the shop has five chairs
Its unlikely he needs to cut hair

An we enjoy our bullshit

Your bullshit?

Talk
      Come now It doesnt take more than an hour to cut a guys hair
He doesnt like oysters

But he ate his wifes oyster Thanksgiving stuffing

Though no more
                   Grateful he said

Trumpvirus took her


I’m sorry to hear that.

Him too She left him two cats
                                 Hes not fond of cats either

    Trumpvirus. You’re still callin’ it that?

When the occasion arises
                            Seems Americans are short on memory Fuckin ludicrous
But not you.

No  Not me
               JFK assassinated today in Sixtythree

Thursday,  21  11. 24
0939,  reggaefriday,  22  11. 24
Dion  Abraham, Martin and John  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxRe6rCdYVA