GUILTY

hed stubbornly brayednailed his hat to the wall ABSOLUTELY

after verdict was reached family friends called him

                                                      Now.  Are you happy?

soberly

         Happy

happy had nothing to do with his ethical understanding his state of mind

                                                                              he replied  Long overdue  Donya think

Formers been delegitimized 

Witch Hunts over

                   We have the blue suit red tie witch dead to rights  Redhanded 

Burn Baby Burn

                   Brought it on himself

Ive been edified  Not thatha is necessary

                                               My ethics morals cannot be diminished

1410,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

2224,  Thursday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrczZzEQfQs

he was positivesure the words werent his

                                               although their sentiment  not lost on him

writers

         The name of some is lent to streets – Paris? – and boulevards, of others to gallows and almshouses.

Who wants to alter the world?

Let it rot, let it die, let it fade away!

he scribbled the words on a strip of paper he used as a bookmarker

it was keeping his place as he read John Addington Symonds The Autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini  1948  illustrated by Salvatore Dali

Cellini  a Sixteenth Century Florentine sculptor goldsmith writer

to be honest

              it was Dalis illustrations that encouragedimplored him to purchase the book

frankly it was a steal

                         he knew what he was getting

he stole

did he feel bad

he bought it last centurycouldnt remember

                                             but  NO

probably didnt

his mothers son

                  Don’t feel bad for them they made their bed, now they have to sleep in it.

sounds pitiless

it was

        probably the provocation that originally forced him to make his bed  mornings – before his fuckin paper route – 5AM – but it had become a source of habit comfort routine   not ruetine  regret

                                                                                       hed sleep with women

when they woke in the morning

he made their beds too

You gotta do it?

Yeah  I did you didnt I rhetorical  had scratches on his back to prove it if necessary

best thing about it then was fucking in the made bedtearing it up again

                                                                            like the bed begged for it

that was terribly possible nothing was inanimate to him

                                                            thanked his grinder for grinding his coffeebeans coffeemaker for making his coffee toaster for toasting his bread silicone garlic peeler for peeling

                                                                                         get the picture

he used themthanked them until the failed despite how ugly they became

                                                                              his inanimate car was 30  he thanked her whenever he drove stroked her dash her name was digger

she like he kept plugging along

when she ultimately fails as he would ultimately fail

                                                        they could be ditched

two inanimate objects 

   side by side

   Two Hangmen*

the words werent his

    

vintageSaturday,  6  3. 04

1221,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

Feist  Let It Die  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KoiYEoWImo

* Mason Proffit  Two Hangmen  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hk3eP0bO0zY

before going to sleep she muted her phonehe wouldnt disturb her he sent her texts wishing her various sweet dreams hopes for deep restorative sleep  I love you

                                         they were in a long distance relationship

not for the weak of heart or the Jealous

he had just returned home from a walk in the waningmoon a day past full it was yet huge

                                                                                                 he loved how his blackshadow was elastic stretchedetched ahead of him on the street  he wished he had his mothers eyes in the back of her headhis head so he could admire it as he walked into the moonlight

                                                                            thirsty

he drank from the glass pitcher of moonwater created the night before

                                                                        it enthused him

maybe not a good idea before bed

                                 found himself wanting to articulate a different good night

remembered it was knocked around when he was a kid yet again his mother  until the cows came homeYES went on-lineYES BINGO  found it in German Viehscheid

he texted  :  :  German  Viehscheid  I like the -ieh & -hei of it

Means, loosely, when the cows come home – Yes – Time for spac Polish for sleep  Sweet dreams, my beautiful girl

I love you

set the phone down

did his toiletry

began the washing machine for white noise

lying in bed eyes closed he remained humour by the –ieh –hei

                                                                   a desperate palindrome

which triggered Kennedys Ich bin ein Berliner June 26,1963 which triggered June 12, 1963s cowardly assassination of Medgar Evers Mississippi Civil Rights leader which told him he better shut the works down the cows came home

Go  to  sleep

I cant sleep Maw

Lay down. Shut your eyes. Go to sleep.  seemed harshWasnt

                                                                   she wanted time with Dad

they had eight kids

he was the eldest

he got it

          –ieh –hei  heeheehee

white noise swept him away

1234preferred to 0034,  Thursday,  30  5. 24

1104,  Thursday

The Ventures  Wiped Out  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaeB2s7LToc

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1t7OCESUw *

scalded himself

                 whell fuck  thadidnt go how he hoped

Wha a sucker

   Really

If you would have listened

To you mongrels

   To your mongrels  A little respect Mutt

Respect they humoured himwhy he hadnt evicted them  

                                                         Touche

Appreciate tha Thank you

Don thank me

                So many more of you have takenup refuge while I was abandoned  wrecked   a derelict

incredulous  Derelict

   Really disbelieving

Yawanna really really us

                            We can play rough too

Rough  Right on

                   The derelicts right on

Anyawere for all the right reasons

   Pity

Empathy

sometimes  better no words

2320,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

* Power Station  Some Like It Hot

Robert Palmer  Simply Irresistible  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoHpSY3IoAI     

Guns N’ Roses  Sweet Child O’ Mine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w7OgIMMRc4

if

there was something picking at his brain like picking at a scab

                                                                   banish the comparison  just saying

now

      if he could figure it out

                               if

mighty big fuckin word for two letters

                                         if

if for every if he had an answer

                                  well

if he had a vertebra removed he could blow himself an any reservation he had about his cum went out the window when immediately after blowing him she deeply lasciviously  Frenchkissed him

                                                                                     went out the window because she had quality birth control and after he came he went down on her

                                                                 don a fuckin soul give him if

if

   been there done that

  

1018 preferred to 2218,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

Paul Simon  You Can Call Me Al  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uq-gYOrU8bA

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers  Don’t Come Around Here No More  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0JvF9vpqx8

her prick exboyfriend tainted the well

                                       but hed be damned if he was going to pay any price for him and his shittiness

Im not him  Wrap your skull around tha

                                           If I do something tha reminds you of himif we happen to like the same things  Im not dropping mine to make you comfortable

                                                 THAS

Your problem

Not mine

he liked to listen to NPR mornings

                                    woke early well before her  played it softly so not to disturb her sleep had his coffee did the crossword

if she woke found herself in fisticuffsduking it out with PMS  NPR PMS  associated

                                                                                            hed be another irritation

but prices are paidassumed when living together

                                                    they had a second bedroom

used as a studio  it was there for overnight guests for vacationing family

was a great sex rumpusroom

                                however

they slept together

in sickness and in health

   she had to contend

he tended her

               but he wasnt overthrowing NPR for her PMS

not for her piece of shit exboyfriend

1351,  Monday – Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

1202,  day-beytween-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

irritatedchaffed him

                    under his breath  Fuckin guy

You know that

I don’t know that.

You do I told you

                   Aholes in Louisiana legislated mifepristone misoprostol put them in kind with Schedule One drugs heroin

   I don’t know that. 

lost his shit CUNT

Did you call me a cunt?

Funny

       Yahear me call you a cunt but when I tellya about birth control hung out to dry equated with drugs tha have terrible potential for abuse addiction  drugs tha serve no legitimate medical purposeHorsehit

                                                                                                 Yah a cunt You don know

I don’t.

   You calling me a liar

No . . I’m jus . .

. . Callin me a liar

                    Gimme  one  fuckin  instance Ive lied to you

Other than when I tease  an admit it

Cuz I can see you splitting hairs

Yacant

Mebbe   

Next time

Yasay

        I don remember tha

Thas palatable

Because

           Ya struggle to remember

An unable to remember is not the same as  I  don  know   tha

                                                                   Piss me off anya know  I think ya remember

I dislikewith extreme prejudice the word   piss

   Fuckin cat got your tongue

1400,  Monday – Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

1112,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

https://apnews.com/article/abortion-pills-louisiana-controlled-dangerous-substances-0984bfed536a5110997dd9c8264bf9e3

he had retched violently

 

 WHO’S OUT THERE?

                         she called from the kitchen window overlooking the backyard

it was nearly ThreeAM

bars bootya at Two give or take a buddy owned the barhad been his old mans

   Christ Maw

                Who the hell woudbe out here

he was still leaned over feet well back had held the pear tree limb while fingering his throat to vomit  vomited plenty

had to disgorge

                  rather out there than risk in the house

I donknow Maw Who the hell woud be out here throwingup in your backyard

two years earlier they considered cutting down the pear treeseemed on its way out but it seemed  vomit rejuvenated it

it shot new shoots  fruited again   who knew

Is that you, Joe?

Does it sound like me

I can’t tell, your voice is garbled.

took a breath  Yah

                     Just finished heaving

Your brother’s still not home.

I suspect hell be shortly We were at Shortys Christened the new pool table

                                                                OUT OF THE WAY.

he stepped aside

                   Bobs home Maw

Bobby lunged for the branch no small task graspedhung like an ape by one armfingered his throat VOMITED COPIOUSLY

   You boys.  Good night.

We loveya Maw

slapped his brother on the back

                                  Ill get the hose

handing him the end Bobby

What?

Let it run a bit in case of spidersyah Ill turn it on

                                                     over his shoulder Toldya not to mix

he ran the water

returned

rinsed his mouth out

                       Ya good

I’m good. Bobby thumbed the hosecreated spray watered the moonlit iridescent slicks

Be back

turned off the water rolledup the hose

                                          strolled back to his brother

Whyya here?

queer question

Got to the bar couple hours ahead of ya Hustled some knotheads their losses paid my tab at Richies

Shorty’s.

Shortys dead

Yah I know.

Yah Class A guy

Yah. Put nipples on bottles for us when wewas kids.

Yah  Brought us up right

That a joke?

Joke

Upright?

           After wewas bent under the pear.

Joe slapped the underside of the limb  Good tree

Bobby slapped it too  Great tree

they didnt make it inside

grass was inviting they laid down side by side in the moonlight and went to sleep

freaking comfortable grass

                             nowhere in the world they wouldnt know otherwise had as comfortable grass

1140,  Monday – Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

0952,  day-between-2-Ts,  29  5. 24

nearly shriekedchoked it

                          Didya hear yourself  Just now   Out of your mouth

   What?

Wha Whadafuck

                    Arya cognizant of whayare saying  Do you hear listen  to yourself

genuinely taken aback What did I say?

Say

       Yadon know whaya said

HEY. 

      Maybe you didnt hear me right.

Hear  Me I listen

                    You Yahear me  Theres a keen difference between listening an hearing I know exactly whaya said

   But to be fair the word triggers me

                                           An irrevocable error

Error?

Yes Youre familiar with trepverter

                                     If I knew then wha Ive realisedwha I know now

Ill confess Likely I knew it then

But I wanted to please Cindi Her parents  My parents

                                                           Although I believe she felt as I did

We allowed ourselves to be coerced

chuckling sardonically We conceded We were a product of our time

                                                                      Albeit shoud have been more wary  aware

   Wha did yasay

Oh.

    Got caught up in your narrative.

No My lifeour life wasnt a narrative

                                       A submission

Submitted  Made nice with family with society

                                                   They hadnt been understanding  Forgiving

Our mistake

But whaya said ya fail to recognise understand

                                                    Are seemingly ignorant

What?

   Wha

          Wha truly irks me

I can’t think of what I said that would be irksome.

Ya fuckin kiddin me

                       Came out of your mouth

WHAT came out of my mouth?

    Out of wedlock

                    Wed Lock

Cindi an I woud have been happy without a marriage contract Our love didnt require it

She  I

        We agreed if we had an itch the other coudnt scratch wed respect each other an admit it before going further

   We didnt need a contract

Yours

        You need a contract

Did your love require a contract

   Wedlock.

               I made it as a casual reference.

Lazy  Nothing casual about wedlock   Frankly its damning

                                                                Cindi and I woud have been happy an happy to bear bastard daughters

1225,  Monday – Memorial Day,  27  5. 24

2308,  2sday,  28  5. 24

he knew exactly where this had come from infiltratedinvaded his dreams

                                                                                Towhee salmon

theres no such thing

but it insisted there was

                          You’re talking to one.

he was talking to a fishan awfully animatedexcited salmon

                                                             had seen that same headsame face on Pacific Northwest totems

Towhee salmon

                  Thas whaya said

Yeah.

Okay

        this conversation was set in motion by Gunther Grass The Flounder  a retelling reimagining of Grimms fairytail coudnt help himself Von dem Fischer un syner Fru  The Fisherman and His Wife  had conversed that evening with his daughter about it she pickedup a copy from a Free Library in her neighbourhood

the fish was so enthused he said he was willing to talk with anyone anif he didnt hed burst

Anyone

Yeah.  Saw you were available.

I was asleep

Fuck you. You’re a conduit.

conduit hed be called lotsa names his whole lifewouldnt rise to the bait   but never

   he imagined connedidiot

NO. Conduit.

               You got potatoes growing in your ears?

that was his mothers line

                           No  Can hear just fine

Good. You’ll never guess where I just was.

Wipe your fins at the door before you came in

Of course. I maybe be rude, but not crude. I saw your shoes in the doorway.

Thank you

Of course.  Where?

I don have a guess

                      I woudnt have guessed this

I was in a boil the spawn drove my nose into the redds gobbled eggs sipped split milt. Glorious!

Soya wanted to stop here to say tha before you died

   Died?  I ain’t dying.

Thaswha happens

You’re misinformed.

No Ive seen it Seen it happen in the Kenai streams in Ketchika . .

. . laughed  Ketchihan.

                          Ketch me if ya can, you can’t. Those poor, poor slobs.  Not me. I’m Tony the Salmon.

Tony

Yeah. The Salmon.

   I thought you say towhee

No.

     That’s a bird I look like a bird?

I thought perhaps there was a species called Towhee salmon thas eluded me all these years

Maybe all your years have made you dense, inarticulate.

Maybe

        Or maybe you an I ought to thank our lucky stars were having this conversation orya woud have burst

                                                                                                                    Spilt milt

You like that.

I love it

   Think your cats smell me. Gotta go or they'll eat your face.

Awwell  Thanksmebbe  for stoppin

                                        My pleasure Tony the Salmon

Don’t ya forget it.

early AMish,  2sday,  28  5. 24

1219, 2sday

https://spiritsofthewestcoast.com/collections/the-salmon-symbol