they were talking out back behind the house away from the collection inside it

sipped their beers

told offcoloured jokes

her jokes were better than his

shes improved with age

when they were younger she couldnt keepup

now if he were to admit ithe wouldnt  she flipped the script on him

she was forcing his hand

hed have to be clever

I think, she said I’m in that place where I’ll have to concede, concede, buy a handgun.

Jesus I thought we agreed knives ballpeen hammers baseball bats . .   

. . For tha . . . yeah.

                       I’m talking if it precedes those events.

Precedes

Yes.

Concede to buy a revolver

Ah there you go, my kind of class, yes, but of course a revolver.

he smiledwas amused  shook his head

                                          Of course    Im surprised is all The kind

Colt Cobra get this, a Thirtyeight S P L.

Really  A freakin acronym comin out of your mouth

If I don’t irritate you who will?

Those people inside you invited

OHstop, they’re okay . .

. . Not close But theyre your friends

                                         I appreciate the invite

S P L

Are you that thick?

Hit me with an acronym I disengage think nothing

                                                     I also do not like guns hence knives ballpeen hammers baseball bats Handaxes almost forgot  Ya threw me with the handgun mention

S P L

   Yes yes. Thirtyeight caliber . . Special.

Coudnt say tha

Actually I did.

In gunese

            Fuckin code specialised language  legalese

Say  Ya know me better

I do, but I like to irritate you on occasion, as every freakin’ soul in the house would.

Each an every one

                       Yes

Whas the catch

Catch?

The Colt Cobra Thirtyeight caliber Special

You think there’s a catch?

Youre usually glued to your word

                                        Theres a catch

You know me so well.

We got history

The gun. One bullet. Exit strategy.

Very unladylike

I’ve not always been a lady . .

. . When Ive liked you best

                              Id think women would be more how shall I say    more vain

Vain?

Messy head

Cremated.

Who finds you

   Shit.

Theres tha

There is that.

Maybe somebody inside

Would you leave them alone?

I think somebody inside  It wont be me

                                            Ill take a PAS

You’d leave me high and dry, take a pass?

Yes

What kind of friend are you?

The friend whod rather watch porn than horror slasher flicks people killing people

                                                                                         Takin a PAS

You’re something else, a pass.

Youre misunderstanding me

                                 Not a P A S S  a P A S

You’re acronyming me?

I am

       Don I make you proud

Proud. No.

             Irritated.

they laughed

Awright. I’ll bite.  What is P A S?

Physician Assisted Suicide

                                 I may be vain

nearly 1600,  day-between-2-Ts,  28  2. 24

1319,  Reggaefriday,  1  3. 24

Billy Joel  You May Be Right  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilsv0C1-aBw

as she stood with her son in her arms she nodded goodbye to him  Have a beautiful day

                                                                                               they disembarked the bus

Now he thought thas not something you see every day

Ah  but youve experienced it more often than most men Id wager

  Perhaps

Perhaps my eye

Our eyes

   Perhaps    Can we agree

   I can agree   Just in the right place at the right time

More to it than tha

   How so

Do you think theyd do wha they did if they didnt feel comfortable around you

   I  I havent thought of tha

Think

        Think about it    So many women

absently  Not soo many

STOP

       Many many

  Maybe they can smell it on me tha as a child I had a sixpak of wet nurses

Funny

Maybe because I grewup among breastfeeding aunts

Maybe because its natural not sexual to you

   It can be

Its been

   Yes

             Its very natural

She was naturalcomfortable with you

she was young Amerindian    beautiful

                                              wanted motherhood is beautiful

1055,  Thursday – Leap Day,  29  2. 24

1136,  Reggaefriday,  1  3. 24

Carole King  A Natural Woman  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQXY8zwQgmc

   recreational sex

                      clowns at The Heritage Foundation posted to X run by another clown “(WHITE CHRISTIAN PATRIARCHAL) Conservatives have to lead the way in restoring sex to its true purpose, & ending recreational sex & senseless use of birth control pills.”

                                       So sorry ladies wha a bunch of cunts 

reading recreational threw him

                                 itimmediately made him think creational rectal secretional

floppingaspin like fish out of water  lathered in whippedcum slippery womens cum blowin bubbles while tryin to catch a breath

       SO he said out loud to no one no one in particular  Women  they have recreational sex like guys sportfuck  Do guys have to restore sex to its true purpose  Cant masturbate   Become ascetic priestlike

                                                                                                Oops

Havin an occasional boy is awrightright

   Im tellinya wha America needs is to restore these clowns remove them to their ancestral lands   As Honest Abe said 14August 1862  “Your race suffer from living among us, while ours suffer from your presence… It is better for us both, therefore, to be separated.”

0859,  Reggaefriday,  1  3. 24

1103,  Reggaefriday

https://www.msnbc.com/the-reidout/reidout-blog/alabama-ivf-sex-aoc-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-rcna141033?cid=eml_mda_20240301&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

https://www.history.com/news/abraham-lincoln-black-resettlement-haiti 

Now if I was smart he thought he chuckledstopped  chuckled again  it grew into sardonic laughter from deep in his chest

          finally shook his headshook it off

                                                    Now if I was

If I were smart Id be elsewhere

                                 “In that day you shall begin to possess the solitude you have long desired. Do not ask me when it will be or where or how. On a mountain or in a prison, in a desert or in a concentration camp. It does not matter. So do not ask me because I am not going to tell you. You will not know until you are in it.”

                                                                                   Thomas Merton  The Seven Storey Mountain

If he was

              he was a sucker for her

he denied her big brown eyes had any effect on him

                                                            they did not

rather he refused to admit to her they did

                                             out the gatefirst dating her told her to put em away

she liked his virile adamancy

I want to move to California to be near my family.

Those assholes he should have been able to resist himself SHOULD  an inactive null and void word in his lexicon

sharply Listen, those beautiful brown eyes becoming spitting mud boils  we’ve been living near your fam . .

. . Near Excuse me

                     Knowing you youll want to park our asses smackdab in their midst

They’re my family . . our family.

They are assholes

                    Should that should again he stopped himself bluntedsevered what couldnt be unsaid  A seven hour car ride one way is not near  Nearer

Screw you. I want to be nearer my family.

   Not a good idea

                     In your heart of hearts you know  its not a good idea

Well.

        The heart wants what the heart wants.

It does

   Is that a yes?

   As close as possible tha I can form

                                                 Its a bad idea

it took her family twelve years four months to kill her the last six a terror on their immediate family

she became her familys proxy

   she killed herself

1018,  Thursday – Leap Day,  29  2. 24

0953,  Reggaefriday,  1  3. 24

Nilsson  Gotta Get Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jRh2PRa1tU

. . . the object of a preposition . .

. . I don wanna hear

You should.

I didnt step in it

                  You said you and I rather than you and me

I did not.

Yadid

        You and I is we  formal as shitfancy  You and me is us and informal  Were casual

I didn’t . . 

Stop As you also didnt say chemical when you referred to arrowheads affixed to either end of an equal sign pointing in opposite directions for an equation determining equilibrium

I did say chemical.

   Yes   Right now  Not then

I did.

Didnt

         Had you I woud have written it down

   I said it, you forgot to write it down.

Asshole youll recall I was writing as you spoke

                                                   I worked as a senior customercare representative for twelve years recordingnotating conversations between clients and me  Think court reporter  Transcripts   My notes were presented as evidence in court proceedings

                                        You

The object of a preposition . .

. . Oh Christ

The man pined after a woman when she declined to go out with him.

                                                                         heldup his cellphone Anright here. “The object of a preposition is the noun or pronoun being acted on, referenced, or affected by the preposition in the prepositional phrase . . . In almost every case, it’s the noun or pronoun that appears after the preposition.

“The relationships prepositions can show include physical position (about, above, below, on, and under), direction (in, into, to, toward), time (after, before, during, until), and source (from, of, out of).”

Fucking good for you

                       Yaknowha

tersely  What?

Id rather be the object of a proposition

303preferred,  day-between-2-Ts,  28  2. 24

1609,  Thursday – Leap Year,  29  2. 24

https://www.grammarly.com/blog/object-of-a-preposition/ 

a bygone Thursday  24 February 2005

                                            on the unnumbered first page

on typewriter paper 8 1/2 inches X 11 inches turned sideways he scribbled to its right lefthanded he liked BIG borders  BIG edges

       over seven lines he wrote Im finding that while /I agree with the Socratic /pronouncement  man is a /“herd” animal / I disagree “that the /one who knows” should /dictate lead the /herd . . .

to the missives left was a forgive and forget letter summarising “What happened had happened, and now it was over.”

   he turned the page upright

                                and what was now beneath and right of forgive and forget which he believed now was an attempt then to Let Go   he hadnt he did not forget

he did not forgive

                    in the small remaining corner he printed

                                                               FANNIES ---

 

                                                                  SOME REASON ---

 

                                                                      I’M PAYING ATTENTION AGAIN ------                                                                   

                                                                                                   HORMONES whoremoans

   on the next page no longer printing sideways  upper left corner he wrote PART DUO

evidently attempting to number 

                               WHADAYA SEE

                                                 an illuminated flaccid American flag hanging from a round whitepainted pole

  there was other nonsense though not worth mentioning

on the next page written as the prior upper left corner he wrote   24 2. 05

                                                                          THIRD 

then centered

WRITE A PAGE/S

SHUFFLE THEM

A THREAD RUNS THROUGH

THEM IF YOU’RE

PAYING ATTENTION

                                                    IF NOT

                                                 WELL

                                                     NUMBERING

                                                         MAKES IT EASIER

                                                             DOES NOT IT?

beside the D in DOES a wicked penline swept up left curled down to an abrupt broad arrowhead  and written diagonally coming back up toward PAYING ATTENTION he wrote  AND, OF COURSE,

                                                                    MIGHT MISS OUT ON

                                                                     SOME FORTUNATE

                                                                       JUXTAPOSITION

                                                                         less angled  RANDOM

coming off RANDOM like a tail on a fortyfive degree angle  RANDUMB

beneath that assembly in the lower left quadrant

the line written upsidedown  obviously he turned the page

AND RUNNING DUMB CAN TAKE

then rightsideup

YOU TO ALL SORTS OF UNEXPECTED

then upsidedown

MAYBE UNNATURAL PLACES ---

rightsideup

BUT REALLY, NOT UNNATURAL ---

upsidedown

BECAUSE IT WOULDN’T HAVE EVOLVED

rightsideup

OTHERWISE ---- WOULD IT . . . .

                                    NOPE

the following page had nothing to do with the prior three

they were written in red ink  MED PT BIC

the printing was in black ink  FINE PT

Thursday,  24  2. 05

1234,  day-between-2-Ts,  28  2. 24

Dylan  Highlands  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxDU9Q2RDBc

MOM

       an old joke

an M tattooed on each buttcheek  knees pulled tight to ones chestrolling sidewise  WOW MOM WOW MOM WOW MOM

she didnt find that funny

Aw comon Maw its funny its a joke

                                     Get down off tha high horse of yours

hers was mighty high

                       JUDGMENTAL

her middle name

she madeup her mind  no changing it

                                        not for all the tea in China  and then some  but isnt there always a but

his MOM secretly he spelled M O o r i n g M 

   when she died

his moorings lessened

                        he became more unmoored than usual

it was then he realised how grateful he was to her  realised  she held his reins loosely

when he became extreme

that was his middle name

he pushed hard on barriers

she managed to back him down

lessen his contemptderision

                              helped him relax unknot his fists

throughout her life she asked him in conversation over the telephone in letters  Do you remember Second Grade?

   Yes

Then. Practise what you learned what she taught him.

                                                        defuse situations with laughter

My only thing fear he explained to her  is tha once I start laughing I might not be able to stop  Ill rave

Oh don’t worry that, you’ll stop; even if it is only because you’ve fainted from a lack of oxygen.

Gee thanks Maw

Yabetcha.

330preferred,  2sday,  13  2. 24

0946,  day-between-2-Ts,  28  2. 24

reliving her death

                    which meant reliving the moment she was born

trying hard to remember moments they shared

the moments they shared with Cindi her mother Collin her sister

                                                                       so many

fortunately he had a long long memory

I love you Aniela

We love you

1020,  Twosday,  27  2. 24 

such a beautiful smile

   random

             he has a habit of using both sides of a piece of paper before he recycles it

he respects trees

no life should be abused  wasted

the printerprinted side was a submission a resume for work

                                                                 got the job

on the reverse side he handwrote Eisenhower:

                                                  “Should any political party attempt to abolish Social Security and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again our political history . . . there is truly a tiny splinter group (likely John Birch Society), of course, that believes that you can do these things . . . (but) their number is negligible and they are stupid.”

then in 1953 he says:

                        “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket (drone) fired signifies , in the final sense, a theft from those who are hunger and are not fed,those who are cold and are not clothed.”

   I Like Ike 

former an sickofanatic MAGgoAts can croak

1204,  Thursday – Natl Velociraptor Awareness Day among other Natl Days,  18  4. 13

1714,  Monday,  26  2. 24

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/films/eisenhower/

I was thinkin Lets play a little game

he sighed Are you setting me up?

No no Just occurred to me

                               I think youll be successfulI know youll be successful

You’re setting me up.

A little faith woudya

You have faith in me?

On occasion

              This  Definitely

   there was a tinge of remorse Awright

Youll be fine

              Ready

Yeahsure.  Ready.

Tim ScottMr. Bojangles Mike Pence  Mike Johnson . .

. . Republicans.

Yes yes  lemme continue  Id like you to hone your answer

Okay.

Steve Garvey Ronna Romney McDaniel  Her tentative replacement March Eight Michael Whatleylove his name  Tell him What to do an hell fall over himself to do it

   Enablers.

Sickophants haha

You spelled it S I C K.

I did

      Gettin warmer

Aw come on, I’ve guessed twice, haven’t humiliated . .

BINGO

he blinked Bingo?

BINGO

          Their tolerance for humiliation

Thanks for playin

                       See  Didnt set you up

1622,  Reggaefriday,  23  2. 24

1201,  Monday,  26  2. 24

Nitty Gritty Dirt Band  Mr Bojangles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKm_EgDI_-E

Permission structure Wha the hells thawho buys into tha in his voice he heard his incredulity

It’s permission given.

Whos askin why ask  Wheres the initiative

                                                 Sounds more like fixin a scapegoat  They told me wha to do so I did it

That’s not it.

No

     Inform me

It offers a counterpart, say a fellow team membe . .

. . Theres the hole in the theory Who needs a teammate

   You kidding?

No

     But excuse me I interrupted   Please

It offers a counterpart smartly they waved team member  a rational justification as he said he heard scapegoat  to change their opinions saw him clench his jaw  mind  distracted him  . . . to change their opinion without feeling like they have to compromise themselves . .

. . Their values

   Yes. Or their pride.

The permission structure, a way out, allows people to be open to different perspectives, changes, they might otherwise reject . .

. . Neglect

             Because ohmy  they have permission

Im not hearing right or wrong in your equation

                                                 Seems this permission flows in one direction  Shit flows downhill

Tell me you see the hierarchy

                                Pattin the dog on the head

Try an pat me Id bite

I wouldnt ask permission

Id use initiative be held accountable Right or wrong

                                                         Been right more often  Hence developed cred

No Mother May I

   I . . I ah . disagree.

Yes of course you do Ya didnt have to say

                                               Caught your expression   Your tell

1015,  Saturday,  24  2. 24

1109,  Monday,  26  2. 24

Eagles  Hotel California  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BciS5krYL80

his frame of mind was colouredblushedbruised  influenced by what entered what senses were pluckedtickledplayed

  informed

he read in Bruens The Guards

                                 “In reality, time doesn’t pass. We pass.”

a real sourball to suck on

pucker takes a while to pass

                                relax  slip from his face

he gave mirrors a wide berth  refused to suffer their prying eyes   be penetrated

                                                                                     YOU OUGHT TO SEE THIS.

No thanks  Ive got a good imagination

   he was fragile

knew it

           this was that time of the year

he knew he was susceptiblebut  come on

                                             an obscure passagepage onehunredsixtythree

three weeks earlier

three weeks later

wouldnt have breezed him

   however now

he could feel his skin peel

his heart   

              weep

his steps halt

                his footing  improbable   surly

  “In reality . . . we pass.”

1430ish,  Sunday,  25  2. 24

2025,  Sunday