Call it Thursday he wrote

                           felt it was still Wednesdaya lingering Wednesday  traveltrashed so he compelleddemanded Thursdayshrugging off the remains of Wednesday

   he also was trying to shrug off a dream that woke him

                                                             which troubled him

he struggled with its meaning through the day in the air in the airports among the milling surging bodies he usually enjoyed people watching but even they couldnt distract him today

   THURSDAY

he determined the two of the dreamed incidents were reiterating what hed known a long time

                                                                                                   COMMITMENT or rather COMMITCEMENT

once committed he was unshakeable

the first incident was him driving a car descending a steep grade the road crumbling under the tires oddcorrupted sections of pavement like drifting icefloes sliding left sliding off the gradedearth no guardrails   horror  etched on the faces of drivers and occupants as they went OVER  doomed

                                                                  a car he avoided drifted sideways in front of himpumped the brakesavoided a collision which may have likely aided the driver though earlierfurthur up the hill the same driver forced other cars over the side to oblivion?he didnt know  wasnt willing to find out horror isnt etched without reason

he soughtfought the car to the shoulder as it meltedoozed onto the dissemblingroad clots of concreteroad shabby rock gravel he slalomed spun somehow kept the vehicle descending  avoided the rotting edge

                                                                                               somehow  made flat level ground

committed

second was a blind leap into treetops slick courses of mist from a cliff occurred to him as he approached it was suicidal however he had given his word to a cohort who was trappeddoomed if he couldnt free them

                                                                                                           he was thin hope

the thinnest hope

his hope was the duffel he carried before him tethered to his waist a length of rope between themhed follow its descent

he hoped itd be shieldenough

throwing himself over the edge he casted the duffel at his feet  fell eyeswide

                                                                                 COME WHAT MAY

he was committed to seeing it through

evenif he damaged or killed himself

he wouldnt recoil

didnt pauseCOMMITCEMENT

give ones word

cant renege

have to be good to it or one isnt credible isnt honest has lied

possibly a third incident lurked

                                 it reveledspooled in the back of his head as he plummeted  ran like opaquefilm in his eyes but not enough to obscure the approaching treetops if he survived the fall he was to assault a “friends” house a stout black house few windows mounted high in the walls to look out one would have to stand on something

friend knowingly stabbed him in the back lied to himNot that he was surprisedhe suspected there were too many asideshints  actions   he disregarded his words actions   he disregarded his words

   Commitment

is not loyalty

Commitmentcommitcement is not an oathfealty to another 

it is a promise to ones self

bold

     because sometimes ones commitment leads them into harms way  they see it coming

dreaming he smiled ridiculous large he survived the fall through the treetops the snaking mist  surprise

he smiled thinking that someone thought hed flinch pull back

                                                                 smiled  that someone would think he was bluffing

   he was committed

approaching 0000hours,  Wednesday/Thursday,  20/21  9. 23

1313,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

his brother handed him a plain brown paper lunchbag There you go.   From me to you.

his brother was funny

something inside it clinked

Shoud I guess wha it is

Do you want to guess?

I think I ought to

Are you going to shake it?

I am not 

         Cin used to shake her gifts  I threatened to wrap a bomb for her thadbe detonated by vigorous motion

Obviously you never did.

No

   Though Id always warn her say Russian roulette  Ya feelin lucky punk

Eastwood.

Dirty Harry

   So are you feeling lucky?

Stop Yare late to the game 

he didnt shake it felt its weight

                                  Ill guess

his brother wore his classic pokerface  he was sitting at his parents kitchen table smoking cigars sipping beers when they were in high school when he won a seventy dollar pot  Queen highcouldnt help himself had to show it off  nobody ever knew whawas in his hand  he made a great Marine while he was in

Guess away.

   Marbles You found my marbles

No pokerface it split with delighted laughterI did.     

opening the bag Yadid  different coloured catseyes

Vintage.

         Old like you.

Has to be Lost em a long time ago

Yahyadid; misplaced them. he nodded  Yadid.

                                                  hed always been unhappy with him that he lived out of statecross the country away  the rest of the familythe siblingsall nine remained in state within twenty minutes of each other  but he was the kid that his father introduced as This is my son, Joe, he isn’t going to live here when he grows up.

Couldnt renege on that welch on a promise wasnt what he was made of who he was

hed always been unhappy with him because he the oldestfelt he was obliged to stay home

that conversationwhenever he returned for a visit resurfaced the underlying glue of their relationship not that it was necessary they loved each other deeply their street fighting back-to-back was neighbourhood notorious win or lose  ugly fights

in addition to his missing marbles they were too late for him was a GINORMOUS AGES 6+ pink speckled egg HATCH’EMS Flamingos WATCH THEM GROW AGAIN & AGAIN!

                                                                I remembered correctly, you like flamingos.

he smiled I do Thank you yare very thoughtful  Comere they threw their arms around each other kissed hard separating  Yare an awfully good polack bro

As you, as you. I miss you, man.

I miss you too

   a little ache bittersweet stitched his heart  lifes choices

1018 ofcourse it was,  Saturday,  23  9. 23

Dirty Harry  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=abmULTYJJEg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xjr2hnOHiM

   Swell

from its foot he tossedunfurled the bedspread onto his bed wristsnapped it once stunningly it fell symmetrically aligned  done

                  Swell  

when did he last uttered that he thought

Been a long time

                  seemed one was always hanging out with him

he wondered if they were assigned

                                     Yes Thank you for seconding me

No sweat Thas wha Im here anif necessary for other asides

Which ya understand  Unsolicited

Yes Though we cant wait to be solicited  Thawoud . .

. . Be a cold day in Hell

   Yes  Deal with it

I do I have

Yahave

          So   Swell

Been a long time

                  Been a long time been a long time been a long lonely lonely lonely lonely time

Zeppelin

Sharp

Not necessarily Were you

Camped out in my brainmy cells

We permeate you

                   Sunk in the tasty marrow of your bones the alveoli in your lungs

Thas permeated

   Yawanna say

I do

Let it out We heard you loud an clear

Per MEAT Ated

   Feel better

Yah I do

              Todays my Maws birthday  She would have been 90

   Swell

Kinda

       Rather woud sing to her over the telephone than sing her happy birthday in the shower

Fully clothed

Yah Only steppin in to sing

Everyone sounds better in the shower

They think so So I follow the lemmings

OUCH

Not so much

             There are very few trendsetters happier to take orders than the initiative  understandably its pretty sticky

3M coud only wish they developed it

Thas clever

Swell

          Cant remember the last time

Us either

 

he poured himself a cup of coffee read the paper 

                                                   Today In History

In 1835 Edgar Allan Poe married his thirteenyearold cousin Virginia Clemm Poe was twentyseven Virginia contracted tuberculosis an on 30 January 1847 twentyfouryearsold succumb to it

     

0856, Reggaefriday,  22  9. 23

1124,  Reggaefriday

Zeppelin  Rock and Roll  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lncr2g9XJHU  https://www.britannica.com/story/do-lemmings-really-commit-mass-suicide

travel trashed

punch drunk

  Xhausted

although there was a bright light in his 24hrawake day

                                                          bright eyes

she told him she had traveled all day without finding her character 

                                                                     then

he was her character

                     No he interjectedExcuse me  Youre mine

he was willing to fight an attractive stranger over who was whose though not incuriously as they talked as time unfurled they happily concededaccommodated each other

when he began writing on the plane the lamp overhead shadowed his head onto the loose blank page obscuring what he wrote

       turning ON the one over hers she asked Better?

Ohmy  Yes thank you

                        the oblique kindness of a stranger

albeit he thought as young as she washe thought19 bestguess said so she corrected him 29. as young as she was he didnt expect her to recognise his irritation let alone consider the courtesy of lighting his way 

                                                                                                  unexpected

and unexpected was a currency he valued terribly

he hadnt expected she would or could have realised let alone acted kindlySURPRISE

bright eyes

            is how he referred to her in his writing

she admitted first that she referred to him in her journal after they discussed lucid dreaming when he encouraged her to continuepursue trying to evolve her attempts

through later conversation he discovered she had a monstrous legup on others regarding dreamwork

 

he joked that had she been seated in A and he in B they would have been banging elbows she a righty he lefty as they wrote simultaneously      

departing the airportthinking of their interaction he smiled  he severely enforced that coincidence had no standing

he believed all the days hickups troubles turned sidewise happened because he was meant to meet her

                                                                                                               Fate? 

from the original Singularity – there is no evidence to prove it wasnt -- is sometimes generous

she made the entire day worth the trouble

0021,  Thursday,  21  9. 23

1328,  Thursday

Bonnie Tyler  Total Eclipse of the Heart (Turn Around)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo

   Gottago

               whenya gottago ya gottago   Im goin

when I get back next week Ill be in touch

be cool in the meantime

   smile

          a lot

   he found a moist perch in a footdeep Uformed concrete gutter along a road stamped in intervals facing it 

M U backwardC C O  clever  MUDCO  so apropos for a concretework company

                                                                                    that worked through his head

before he could relate to the juxtaposition

fish out of water

it was doing its damnedest

                            dorsal laid down fins held tight to its sides holding its breath

he leapt over the gutter scrambled up an iceplant like anenomes incline over shrubs onto a driveway garage open big galvanised bucket crossed the drive a spigot gushed water tapped it off sprang down the incline it hadnt turned blue

maybe only people turn blue when hypoxemic apoplectic fins were laxlimp picked it up with both hands and pushed it through the water againanagainanagain if it had lungs hed have made sure its airway was clear and blown until he was blue

           a shiver

againanagainanagain

                        spasm

againanagainanagainanagainanagain

                                         shake

againanagainanagainanagainan

                                   a tailslap

Hey man, that’s my bucket, what are you doing with it?

                                                           with such impeccablebrilliance hed never throw a shadow

ignored him

againanagainan

                  whawere the chances he was deaf 

I said man . . that’s my bucket. 

                                 at least he narrowed it

stood on his drive

lanky shrubbery seemed an impediment

                                            wiggling

againanagain

I sai . .

. . Savin a fish

                A perched perch to be precise    fuckin incredible           he didnt wonder the cause

no sense nonsense wondering whawas  

wasnt a suicide

he let it go

it strayed around the bucket

a lake was threequartermiles off

taking the bucket in both hands he stood

                                            Ill bring it back

It’s my bucket.

                whawere the chances he was deaf

1305,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1326,  2sday,  12  9. 23

she shook her headsat back on the couch they shared

                                                        Man she was dismayed For such a bright guy you have such a crappy attitude.

   Good cop bad cop

What?

Bright guy crappy attitude

                            Complimentary  Detracting    Which is it

   I love looking at you your face. So while I’m away and we talk it’d be nice to see you.

Aint happenin

               You know I didnt care for Skypesame damn thing  Face-times an intrusion

I’m an intrusion?

Stop

        I didnt say tha

It feels like you said it.

But I didnt

            You like it you do it yare welcome to it I don   I wont

Won’t?

Will not

But why not? he reached downgrabbed her thigh she oohedgiggledWhat are you doing?

Wha I cant on face-time

                          I am you are threedimensional  Why woud I we want to be twodimensional not be able to touch miss subtle body motionspositionings miss  if you woud    our auras meld  meddle

Its a convenience

Yare not convenient

You are necessary

   Baby yare the only soul in the world Id face-time  but Im wont

Good cop bad cop.

1749,  Monday,  11  9. 23

1154,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UB4W9np4JJk

. . . so why writ . .

                  he cut him off

Why breathe  Why write thas crap  You shortcut it with phone calls cheap shorthanded texts punctuated with shitty acronyms you fail to explain 

                                Because      Because yare lazy

Too much an effort  Exhausting huh   Christ even use predictive text 

   No.

Im listening

not angersomething he hoped it was embarrassment twistedspazzed his face

Still listening asif a singular no could answered his accusations

                                                               Howbout  Flannery O’Connor I write because I don’t know what I think until I read what I say. Joan Didion I don’t know what I think until I write it down.

Unfortunately thasaid  I don think you know either writer do you

                                                                       Maybe a question you can answer

Ah definitely anger 

Im listening

sharply What do you want me to say?

Why breathe

0942,  2sday,  12  9. 23

https://lithub.com/why-human-writing-is-worth-defending-in-the-age-of-chatgpt/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Lit%20Hub%20Daily:%20September%2012%2C%202023&utm_term=lithub_master_list

Uuu uuu he quit  sounded like Toody of Toody and Muldoon the cop pairing from Car 54, Where Are You?

Did you . .

. . Uuu uuu

              I did

That’s from an old television show.

Car 54

Yeah. That’s it.

It is

So what’s that about?

I was thinkin . .

. . Do I want to know?

Not tha you necessarily want to know Rather wha you know tha I cant remember it being waay outside my purviewof any interest to me

But within mine?

Ohgodyah

            Your recent lifeblood assurance of life living purpose

My life, living, and purpose?

Definitively  Cryinboutit aaall the time 

You want to give me a hint?

A hint

      Arya fucking kiddin me take a breath Whas been overwhelming you these past few months

   sheepishlyguessing  My dating? 

Duh  Youre on-line

                    You seem to have its codes down

Codes?

Vernacular  Code  I coud give a rats ass but something occurred to mebrought out my inner Toody

Inner . . Toody?

The character from 54

54?

Car

OH. YEAH. The television show.

Yahlook at you pickinup the pieces puttinem together  InnerToody

                                                                      Uuu uuu

I gotcha.

We on the same page

We are.

            What would youwhat vernacular . . would you like to know that I possess.

Hold on lets not lose our shit

You said I . .

. . I said code   You seem to have it down

lookin regal I possess.

Yah mastah  shakin his headChrist

   What?

Answer me a simple question  Woudya   Please

Alright. How can I help?

Thank you

            Whas the term used on-line when someone posts a picture of themselves when they were youngernot recent

I know that.   I know that. 

                             I do know that.

he shut his trap

                 saying a word woudnt grease his wheels woudultimately distract him an hed blame him for interrupting foulingup his thinking 

I know this.

encouragingly  Yes you do you possess

I do.

he had a way of slowing Time down 

                                        Time saddledup beside him   He still thinking?   Hes got it   You think?   He said he did   What do you think?   Eventually   You want me to chime or something?   You know hes thinkinbout wha I asked   I do.   You do   I’m Time, nothing escapes me until you croak.   Gentlehuh   Everybody’s so touchy ‘bout that.   Yah  Havent been here thirteenpointeight billion years have we   There’s that.

UUU uuu.

Hes got it

I’ll leave you in peace.

Anmay peace be with you

Cut the crap.

                 then Time was adios

Whachagot

It’s called catfishing, or a type of catfishing pretending they’re someone they’re not . . but were. Posting a younger picture of themselves.

BAM Thas it

              Thaank you Was killing me

You’re welcome. then perplexed flooded his face Why was it you wanted to know?

You asked me do I want to know

I want to know.

Do you

Yes.  I hurt my head coming up with catfishing.

   Yah Looked like it hurt

Thanks for not saying nothinginterrupting me.

Had company was being patient

You are patient.

Thank you.

Yeah yeah.  I wanna know.

Awright

         I think there ought to be a law thatthank you catfishing only be allowed when ones photograph is published with their obit

AwJesus.

Yasaid ya wanted to know

                             Thas on you

afternoon,  Monday,  4  9. 23

1142,  Monday,  11  9. 23

Uuu uuu  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVk9jR0tYec

Republicans are trying really fucking hard to rebrand themselves by attacking Democrats for their War on Babies

now Utah senator Mike Lee has stepped in the same shit that dog gets around that Alabama senator Tommy Tuberville did he struggles not to call him Tumorville  provide cover for his inane thought process

                                                                               and neither has a stick to scrap off the shit from the heels and soles of their shoes

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/gop-senator-raises-specter-defunding-defense-secretary-rcna104352?cid=eml_maddow_20230911&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=TRMS%209/11/23&utm_term=Rachel%20Maddow%20Show

https://www.mediaite.com/news/i-hate-to-break-it-to-you-msnbcs-jen-psaki-mocks-republican-abortion-re-brand-drops-bad-news-about-rape-exception/

1548,  Monday,  11  9. 23

from NPR which disturbed him   he thought more of them

                                                              “For many Americans, – many the descriptor  it didnt describe him – 9/11 – which he refuses to call it  September 11, 2001 – is now simply a date to mark, much like December 7th with the Pearl Harbor attacks. – that is not an apt comparisonno equivalence – . . . The talk is not of 9/11, the subsequent invasion of Afghanistan – say AfghanistanIraq ought to be hot on its heels – and lessons learned . . .”

more lessons unlearnedunremembered classic American amnesia  the classic desire to rewritesummarise history manipulateeliminate facts facets lean hardlean heavy on propagating myth

our history cant be placed on oh-so-clever bumper stickers

he understood NPRs news slant was in regards to the Marine Corp – first time in onehunredthirteen years without a Senate-confirmed Commandant don shrug Alabamas Senator Tommy Tuberville is the heehaw culprit hes affectionately called – in the Senate – Coach whose skillsets to become a senator was he was a college football coach – never served in the military a real sharp cracker elected by other cracker which might have been expected from a state that ranks dismally in American Education and in regards to other societal concerns

we might not remember the date as 9/11 if the Bush and his neocon cohorts his Administrative and more personnel were held to account  investigated   prosecuted

1455,  Monday,  11  9. 23

NPR 9/11  https://www.npr.org/2023/09/10/1197055903/for-a-new-generation-of-marines-9-11-is-history?ueid=50c730cb0ac5cbd04b51d81774de5e3e&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Sentences%209/11&utm_term=Sentences

Marines  https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/07/10/the-corps-is-without-a-confirmed-top-marine-for-the-1st-time-since-1910/

Alabama  https://www.alreporter.com/2022/05/18/opinion-theres-a-reason-alabama-always-ranks-at-the-bottom/

apropos  September 11   terrorist attack

                                            Trumpvirus

last he looked was 28August 14days ago then 1,173,394 Americans had perished

todayNOW  1,174,580 Americans have died  1186 more deaths

                                                                      average of nearly 85 people a day 84.71 doesnt cut it

he wasnt going to stop 

                       the decision not to move against coronavirus when it first reared its ugly head is unforgivable it wasnt miraculously going anywhere

1234,  Monday,  11  9. 23

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

hed concede  a wee spider

                            the concession coming from wanting to remarkSing  Itsy-Bitsy Spider

the song his wife sang to their girls

he couldnt do it justice  so didnt

   a rustcoloured wee spider he found in the unwashed cereal bowl he left beside the kitchen sink last night

he forget to eat

                 woke in the middle of the night hungry  interesting experience  unlike waking to use the bathroom or starting from a dream  a dream not a nightmare  he didnt believe in nightmares any more than he believed in evil  a dreams a dream  evil is bad  he coudnt abide its religious connotationassociation so nixed it

plain old Cheerios splash of milk easily digestible set the bowl aside the tablespoon in the sink wasnt a cereal bowl a serving bowl

           he hadnt eaten

the spider played dead as he went to pickup the bowl to wash it with the dishes he fed the cats with this morning

   O hello  wha he woud give if one day a bug replied  or a cat squirrel mouse boid hummer lizard skink vulture hawk  he didnt talk to dogs

it quit playing dead ran up a side slid down up down up down Easy friend mean you no harm down up down up he couldnt blame it

picking up the bowl he went to take it outside up down updowning the whole way through the livingroom through the screendoor onto the front porch

                                 Mebbe Ill see ya again sometime  he tipped the bowl the spider slid onto the drink rail and to his freak it didnt set a nanosecondhurled itself from the rail onto the redwood porch  threeanahaf feet  he likened it to him leaping from atop a highrise  a juicy skinbag of blood and bone   make a splash a Rorschach forsure

little voice in his head giggled

                               We can do without tha

then it said  Exoskeleton

Yah

Weighs next to nothing

Yah

It didnt plummet

No

Glad you didnt scream like a little girl

   Yah a couple times he has  voice almost disowned him    

0813,  Monday,  11  9. 23

loscil  Vapour  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-iZgWK30Yg