he tried smug

couldnt pull it off 

                  hed been entitled too long the expression hung spectre over his face  he did not create envynot the envy he thought he would 

Hey man . . got lucky.

   Lucky

Yeah.    

No ya didnt

I did.

Ya didnt

bragging

           I got me laid. 

Worse yet

What?fuck you . . worse?

Worse 

        Does it occur to you tha no woman woud like to hear she was laid Ya didnt get luckyyour attentionintentions wore her down   How romantic

he glared 

            You only wis . .

. . Perhaps perhaps shell excuse me or not but no thank you 

                                                                Her flaws are evidentas evident as her freckles  an I dig freckles   How wonderful you were able to overlook em to get your rocks off                    

Jesus man, we all have flaws.

As you know thank you  Correct 

                                   However hers are supermagnified peerless ifya forgive the pun

Ya didnt seduce her

                      Found the lubricant

1301,  Sunday,  4  6. 23

2302,  Sunday

he couldnt find the brakes on this ride not that he wanted to 

                                                                   was just going to have to run with ithopefully not have to roll with punches hed had enough of thatbeen black and blue nose busted three times   hills he may not have died on them but he refused to disregard themturn his back walk away  walk off 

                                                                               he wouldnt let himself do that 

ethics 

           an ethical man 

each an everyone held accountable 

couldnt help himself 

that was the way he was raised 

a boy can leave his parents home 

but home doesnt leave the boy 

   he was reelingcascading

                             reams unbound runonness stream of consciousness streaming unconsciousness unbrooked unimpeded unrelenting

                          uns 

runonness

           he liked that

English teachers didnt like runon sentences 

Concurrent 

   Excuse me?

You would rather sentences were concurrent than consecutive prefer discrete sentences Fun with Dick and Jane Come Dick. Come Jane. Come and go. Go. Go. Go. Go. See Dick. See Jane. See Dick run. See Jane run.

   You’re being rather simplistic.

No Im standing up for spontaneityspoke words trying to record their breathless exertion expressed unlinearly or woud you prefer nonlinearly Im stuck on uns this morning uns unrelenting quite the barrage difficult to get a word in edgewise slantwise ensconced peripherally on-its-head parallelly chunky peanutbutter an rapejelly thamakes no sensemakes nonsense makes  for the uninhibitedJOY of being alive 

                                                           he shadduped 

she just looked at him

he looked back at her

Are you waiting for my head to blow up? 

   Arya waitin for mine Im uninhibited my skull is elastic Like a Timex

Timex?

         How?

It takes a licking and keeps on ticking

AM,  day-between-2-Ts,  31  5. 23

1241, Sunday,  4  6. 23

Desiderii Marginis  I Think It Was a Sunday  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQY8GP900Rg

Jesus . . you have to come from the bathroom and talk about your loose stool?

he thought to himself Who woud do tha 

                                           I can talk about my loose stool if I like

Then find someone else to talk to.

Ya donwanna talk about it  its creamy texturestartling what a heightened coloration red beans adds it  

Would you shaddup?

I coud  but I wont 

                       Are you a moron  Id come from the bathroom an talk to you about my bowel movement

You are.

Im thinking on my feet making it up either of which crucifies you because you cant outside your bailiwick your abilities 

Yaoughta work on tha   

Talk about shit then criticize me . . . that’s a new low even for you.

   The legs  the legs on the bathroom stool are loose Im gonna have to reglue them  Theyre okay for the books sitting on it but if a little person were to visit and use it to stand on to wash their hands it might fail  thad be ugly

                                                                                                                  Thasaid

How woud you describe it 

Time to think on your feet be creative surprise me

So youd describe it as a loose stool too

   Cat got your tongue 

0957,  Sunday, 4  6. 23

not the One

 

   harangue haRANGue  haranguehurray 

                                             sounds like the roiling echo when he flushed a toilet

algorithms informing the fuckedupsphere hes older 

                                                     SCARE HIM  a hackers wet dream

he wasnt 

          wha he waswas a sceptic 

his wife came in from outside and told him the sun was up the sky bright blue

he went to see for himself

miffed Can’t you take me at my worddo you have to doubt me? 

Love Im not doubting you 

                           I just have to see for myself 

You’re such a prick.

Baby ya knew tha before we married Me an Popeye I yam wha I yam not a project cant change me I was honest  You either didnt listen or didnt want to hear  

                                          If onlyhuh

if his wife wouldnt listen to himshe flesh an blood why would computer constructs 

Reminder: your Paypal account temporarily limited 

                                                     he didnt have an account 

Prime activation billing: Membership billing information update

                                                                  he didnt have it

Norton subscription alert

                          had ceased it

Microsoft account team  ! Microsoft account unusual signin activity 

                                                                      Please fucked with his Hotmail account hyped an undefined excess Memory usage 91% full one day 161% the next   but he could pay for more Memory

he got itwasnt thick 

                     on-line social mediawhich coud also suckhis cock didnt participate electronic brightblue seas filled with lots of suckers an dolts 

                         he wasnt one

   he couldnt get it through its nebulousquivering silicone or whaever skull

 

afternoon,  Saturday,  3  6. 23

0135,  Sunday,  4  6. 23

John Lennon  Cold Turkey  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDp_FwPisKA

YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A FUCKING WAR: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDZjYtQRxzI

   Are we so pitifully shallow 

                               the former president fantasised bout going to war with Iran to lift him to a second term by his dick

   Pinch me 

              Have we forgotten tha Bushwhacker & Company started a illegalbogus war with Iraq to cling to office 

Kahrist

Winston Churchill Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.  

1938,  Thursday,  1  6. 23

1845,  Saturday,  3  6. 23

Edwin Starr  War  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJRJpbGkG4

they took down the ancient oak

   he preferred specificity they not so specific  but he had no idea who they were Citymaybe Property ownersperhaps 

                 the oak disruptedlifted snapped broke the sidewalk which had been poured too close to it boundaries assholes the tree also shoved the concrete steps leading down to the street below down itself 

he couldnt help but enjoyed the shambles 

                                            Excuse me excuse mepardon me as he hoppedhotfooted from one broken blocking to another over risers crippledtheir backs snapped from behind by fleshy roots

                                                                                            the tree had its way with them 

until they cut it down fucking criminal 

   he arrived a daytwo days late there was still woodchips sawdust scattered blood slopped at a crime scene 

nearly tossed his lunch

 

then he was aggravated

then terribly angry 

                 he didnt care for himself when he lost his shit had served three separate week stints in jail didnt care for them either  fortunately inmates gave him a wide berth

a few weeks later he walked by the scene again evidence was gone   freshpoured walk and steps

it was evening  vaporlighting from the parking lot behind him tossed his shadow long

he stopped

             took a deep breath

on the new concrete was a dark redmaroon stain stood fast  didnt move with the quiet respectful breeze  didnt reach was terribly solemn 

                       the trees shadow

they took it 

              no one told its shadow

1630,  Thursday,  1  6. 23

1745,  Saturday,  3  6. 23

Stone Rebel  Silent Universe  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYr0Vc56iVA

 

   absently Hmm not in the cards

across the table from him his girlfriend said Didn’t catch the cards you were hoping for?

he looked up from his Excuse me

Not in the cards, you said not in the cards.

Did I

Yes.

Sorry was thinkin out loud you know  habit of mine

I should have taken a hint from the deep sigh that preceded it.

I sighed

she nodded a soft smilean encouraging smile on her lips  Deeply.

Wow Im really not in the game he laid his cards facedown

she set hers downreached across the table took his hand What’s up, babe?

he squeezed her hand he was thankful for her she was good to himgood for him always gave him his space ofttimes most of the time more generous than she needed to be

                                                         Thank you baby  I was thinkin I cant be a mountain man  

her smile enlarged No. The mountains’ loss, they’re missing out.

he laughed robustly

she saw his spirithis demeanor liftedbolstered she laughed with him 

                                                                          What made you think that?

My tendencyas you know  to be alone 

I never take it as a slight.

No No you don  Just born into the wrong time

I like the time. If you hadn’t been I wouldn’t know you and I enjoy our time very much she squeezed his hand tight shook it gently relaxed her grip

he squeezed hers 

                   Id rather be a mountain man than a hemitwhich Im becoming 

Hermit.

No  a womans a hermit many times more widows than widowers Hemit chuckling he squeezed her hand

   Okay, then at least a playful hemit.

I love playing with you

You ought to play with me more often.

Perhaps  though I respect your time I always want you to do for you firstbe selfish treat yourself first your habit you spread yourself thin leaving too little for you too little time for yourself 

                                                                         Im a big boy an as you know he tapped his temple with his indexfinger yare always right here even if yare not physically  I wake to you I go to sleep with you You help me be alone  Alone is not lonesome

   You say.

I do I do

You do. 

I cant be a mountain man

1430,  reggaefriday,  2  6. 23

1129,  Saturday,  3  6. 23

Colin Stetson  The Righteous Wrath of an Honorable Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cns50Eh_-_Q

he might have said he was surprised 

                                       but that wouldnt be true 

Not just a little bit shehe heshe teased him

You

Honestly no 

              Maybe once youd have surprised me but then youve become everything we hoped for  an more

I aim to please

You invigorate 

                 So honestly no

Yah me neither 

   he stuck his thumb between the pages of a book to hold his placemade his investigationsatisfied his curiosity and when he opened the book again and pulled out a plum and saidof course What a good boy am I 

                                                                                                      Mother may I 

No. I saw you move.

I didnt 

        a Mothergoosed Little Jack Horner

she said she couldnt help herself You think fathers hold the corners on fondling their children? Wakeup. Smell the coffee boiling.

she had been a very young mother felt the same with other girls other women

she caught him move

shimmied  the shake shook the plum from his thumb

it rolled in the playground dirt

no telling what had trod there

he bent over picked it up put it in his jacket pocket

hed wash it off later and eat it

   which would likely be very interesting he lost Mother may I shed have her way again

one day hed turn the tables on her get her over a barrel go head over heels

1425, Twosday,  30  5. 23

1619,  reggaefriday,  2  6. 23

their trip ended in Seattle she sat beside him the final states was returning to U W for her senior year he was visiting his daughter

   “final states”   perplexed him 

geographic states

                  could look out the bus window see the land they rolled across as in an aircrafthis nose pressed to the glass unless it was in a book or article he liked taking buses and trains so he didnt have to negotiate traffic  could BEHOLD 

         his mother-in-laws line 

she quieted her children when they began to get on his father-in-laws nerveswhich wasnt hard as they drove

Behold children, feast your eyes. 

she was a painter  shrewd keen observer 

                                            she feasted constantly 

they understoodappreciated each other 

   “states” 

              what did he mean

Elzi had gotten to him saddled him with feelings he thought extinguished  somehow she kickedover unearthed deep dull purpledred embers cloaked in pale ash ghostly sarsenet distantly revealed in failingsilvered glass

what states were he now in 

   he was guardedprotective 

hed have to huddle with his heart interrogate his braingive it a thorough once over thirddegree under a searing carbon arc lamp 

          he hoped they might be on the same page though he wasnt opposed to mudfights 

hoped he could keep them to no fisticuffs 

though he wasnt opposed to that either 

they shared addresses

                         Wouldn’t you like to ask me for my phone number?

   No 

        I think before I ask for your telephone there are thingssubjects Id like to explore via letters  You like mail 

enthusiastically Ohboy do I!

he smiled wryly M A I L

That too!

Elzi had so much going for her 

                                      their magnetic opposites attracted 

If we coud  then we can share numbers

Yes, sure. she nodded Id like that.

I woud too Thank you 

   when unexpectedly he kissed her goodbye he felt states change stases slip tectonic plates let go

when sheher ride pulled away they waved goodbyewaved until they couldnt see each other he took a bench his bus wouldnt arrive for thirty minutes and wrote her

1415,  Twosday,  30  5. 23

1301,  reggaefriday,  2  6. 23

Desiderii Marginis  Freedom’s Captive  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3NNV1u9IM0

Gawddammit Keep up he couldnt keep up with himself   Woudya step it up 

I am

Yarenot Notch it up 

You slow down

Cant Got places to be

Cant be there without me

Yawanna bet

   this was typical banter between he and his hims hers the drag he had to permit of the shehes heshes that gatheredround his bassinet when he was a baby 

                                                          Jesus had three the Magi  they had names  when theres only three they could have proper names

hes grown older

they havent changedhe didnt want to know

he figured they werent assignedhe didnt invite them 

                                                       simpler perhaps  moths attracted to light

they came in droves 

                     had theirs eyes out for himcould turn their heads 360degrees were attracted to minutia shadows penumbras discovered penetralia unexpected sancta sanctorum and laden as they were if he were realistic hed understand why they couldnt keep up   kids in a candy shop 

                                                                 gleefully  Did you see tha 

he couldnt resist

they knew 

he stoppedbacktracked

                         Where 

There 

Ohshit 

        pen tucked behind his ear paper inside the book he was reading  sometimes he wrote it sometimes he took dictation 

never got old

Woudya step it up 

I am 

      

           I were more than he could count or would

1440,  Twosday,  30  5. 23

1106,  reggaefriday,  2  6. 23

Mogwai  Superheroes of BMX  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNIsUkEvOM

 

   Determination

                     exhalingwhispered Determination drives me 

Ohyare a hoot 

I was thinkin

I heard

           Yare determined  You

You may misunderstand me

                                In a manner of  speaking

Unlikely they resided in his head

                                    Whamanner 

Proactively 

             To deter  Latin de awayfrom terrere looks like terror terrain huh  frighten folded together like cake batter deterrere  MidSixteenth Century deter falls out 

                                                   Theres tha

An

Mine minedunearthed  Mining determent 

                                             Communications tha makes one afraid of something Nation goes without saying acculturation  ones mindset if febrile  agile   

Soyare not necessarily determined  Determination drives you  

No not necessarily 

                    Words are pliable like clay though have depth if you choose to weigh emfreight em forcemake people who like walnuts to have to shell them to eat 

                                               I knew a galwas terrible attracted to herMary whose parents owned a walnut farm California black walnuts Juglans californica glans californicate rolls off the tonguedon it When she returned from visits shed bring me burlapsacks of walnuts Id sit in my cubicle have gladiatorial competition between nuts pitting embreaking em in my hand winners I put aside into a second round sack then third fourth fifth on an on  Sack champions I keptdidnt eat lined them along a shared cubicle partition Did it for years  Squirrels peering through the windows at my back pounded on the glass Awcomon

Determination

   For anything else other than black walnuts

Every hill is a hill to die on  Grit   Grim determination

1719,  Monday – Memorial Day,  29  5. 23

2023,  Thursday,  1  6. 23

made him laugh

   he had a lousy night

was up earlier

                when he finally concededlooked at the clock it stared back at himBouttime its illuminated fingertips numbers shouted 4:29 

                         So youve been up since before 4 

Yawanna shaddup

Im just sayinwere just sa . .

. . Then yall can shaddup 

                           Im aware I have a keen sense of time

they wouldnt fight him on that he could usuallyhaving established a baseline say within five minutes either side time didnt bitch himhe didnt have obligations other than to himself those days were softfrothy wakes astern

   Christ he turnedtwistedthumped pillows he got uptook a leak  Id say after 6

After 6 

         6:59 is after 6

Donbe an asshole mines plenty enough

                                         he walked into the kitchentook a gander at the clock on the stove 6:09 he opened the frig pulled out a pot of redbeans he was soaking took off the lid stirred them with his fingersflicked the water off them back at the pot like a priest an asperges  fingers aspergilliums 

You likening yourself to a priest

Happy you followed my train of thought

Like we have a choic . .

. . Excuse meexcuse me  Excuseme all to Hell You chose me I didnt posted any Help Wanted signs 

                                                                                                          Im having rice an beans for dinner 

he placed the pot back in the frig

                                    went back to bed 

leftie followed him

Heybaby you gonnabe my sleeping pill

he pet herscratched her chin she went side to side backanforth then tucked up between his thighs against his loin 

Crotch 

Jesus man Ya gotta have the last word

 

Awright Crotch

Thank you 

   he wokedreams had been like scoops of icecream piledhigh stalwart on a sugar cone the clocks hands went beyond its face they exaggerated10:09 which was welcome all this extraordinary shit was welcomenothing out of bounds if the clock could talkmaybe someday itd say Bout time youre up Buckaroo 

4:29

6:09

10:09

his daughter was a fiend for numerology

                                           shed say the times meant something

One at a time babe

MAYBE Dad 

           he talked for her because she couldnt

4 plus 2 plus 9  15  1 plus 5  6

6 plus 0 plus 9  15  1 plus 5  6 

1 plus 9 why belabour the zeroes  10  1 plus 0  1

he Googled it read 6 is considered most powerful 

                                                    No wonder it woke youwoudnt let you go 

Hushit

        Also represents Venus Reflected in a person the person is artistic an creative

You needed a bout of sleeplessness to tellya tha

he turnedround faced into himself Please 

  he read 1 1 signifies self once I got some sleep and dreamsgalore Thus it can make a person selfish 

                                                                                                               It says a tad bit selfish 

One toetoke over the line Selfish is selfish

Awright Yaint a tad bit

Not I aint 

           May I continue 

Knock yourself out

Havent yet but thas another story 

                                     On the positive sidenot tha selfishness is negative indulgence in oneself also boasts a natives maturity selfawareness 

You are tha

I is

There you have it Dad.

Did time have to bust my chops

Please. You got to be clobberedhurt before you relent.

You know me well

I do.

I miss youlove you very much

I miss you too. 

                I love you from the tips of your toes to the ends of your hair, you always tickled me with that. 

 

4AMish,  Thursday,  1  6. 23

150preferred – a 6,  Thursday

Brewer and Shipley  One Toke Over the Line  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9HXClusp_E