She doesnt strike me as a Polish girl

She was born in Buffalo, New York.

Lots of polacks there granted   I read my obituary there

                                                            when he spoke as a matter of fact he alwayswithout a doubt  threw him

he threw him

               he counted in his head one two three for five six seven eig . .

. . What?

What

Did you say you read your obituary there?

   Yes

       It really take you eight seconds to ask 

Your obituary?

An obit in my name I almost went to the wake to check out my widow one two three fou . .

. . Widow

    Four I like it when yare invested

                                       Yes my widow

threw him another curve stymied him

But you’re not dead didn’t die . . you’re married.

His widow   My namesakes or I his or as luck would have it Death darkened his doorway gave me a wide berth Im not one to take a bullet for anyone

 

I’m . . I’m . .

. . Seeing a Polish girlso ya think From Buffalo

I am.

Authentic Polish smattering of language culture food family still in Polan . .

. . I don’t know.

Eat head cheese.

Head what?

didnt have to count Head cheese cold cut a cold cut terrine to be exact forcemeat prepared with aspic  usually madeup of a pigs face cheeks fee . .

. . Stop. A coldcut; you eat it?

I adore it

         Head cheese My mother and I relish it  Yaoughta play the head cheese card

Head cheese card?

                    he sneered 

Don knock it until yave tried itYes  Card

How it is a card?

How long ya been seeing this girl from Buffalo

On and off, what, you know, I told you when I met her . .

. . Yare seeing her not me  Yaoughta to know how long its been

I told you when I did.

     Yes

         Not my relationship   How long

he didnt even start counting that would have been bruising Not knowing is problematic Yare long past the Use-by Date freshness date  Yare the guyyare supposed to be fresh forward  forge where things go or not

Fresh?

Salty provocative sexual 

I didn’t want to throw her off.

Throw her off

               By my estimateNO  An correction  been seeing her since before Christmas

Have I?

Have you

Man . . I think I have.

Not to belabour the head cheese card

                                        Head Sexual innuendo  Have you even hinted sex gotten fresh get cracked or catch a look that she thought to slap you

No.

Whell man If shes authentically Polish like me yare dead in the water

                                                                          Yare a buddyboy

after 1530,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1517,  Monday,  21  3. 22

Led Zeppelin  Whole Lotta Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKXN88tjeMY       

I just want to be sure.

Didnt I just say

he shifted around in his chair asif suddenly it wasnt sitting level on the deck  eyesdown 

not a good look

                looking at the top of someones head  he wore a baseball cap  always  the top button plug grommet irritated him for some reason since he was a boy  he didnt dig to find out why

he finally lifted his head upquit shifting

You just wanted to be sure

Yes.

Are you sure

Yes.

        You don’t need to do that.

Evidently I do   You didnt take me at my word

                                                    If I say it you can take me at my word

Sometimes you mess with me. 

                                   Why I was unsure.

When I yank your chain an yare not picking it up  I say so don I

Not always, not always.

No  Not always

                   However thats particularly when wha Ive said is so outrageous you ought to know better

Well sometimes . . I just don’t know . which is why I just want to be sure.

Was I outrageous

No. Not really.

Not even really

No.  Not even really.

Had you said think  had you said do you think I would have questioned you

I don’t say a lot of things you say. I wouldn't have said what you did.

Aahokay There is that

                           Then I should be ancillarymore precise shouldnt leave wiggle room for interpretation

Was there room to otherwise interpret  pubic hair ball

I’ve . . I’ve . just . never heard it said . . before.

  Fair

        But knowing my predilections predillick tions   Not outrageous

No.

We took the long way back to  I just want to be sure

      Yes.

Were good again

We’re good.

 

Your turn Subject matter

1507,  Satuday,  22  1. 22

1139,  Monday,  21  3. 22

The Five Man Electrical Band  Signs  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9lh7lqZojc

     deeep sighs  deepdeep sighs

                                     if he didnt quit sighing hed hyperventilate

she took his hand and squeezed it

                                     You must quit pantingyou’ll make yourself faint.

     Im sighing

Sounds like panting.

maybe he couldnt tell the difference he thought he was sighing

                                                                  didnt panting come with panic  he wasnt panicky 

whats done is done

he couldnt change anything

couldnt bring anyone back

deeep sighs

             breaths deeep enough to aid resuscitation

somewhere inside himself it was thinking  he needed it to stop   Please  Please he begged

it still thought it couldwas possible

Stop  Please

              he was on the verge of tears Please I beg you stop   Pleasestop

it wouldnt look up at him it kept its head down

                                                  its proud shoulders quaked  broke  shivered like a brokendetached butterfly wing  it movedcurlicued on young green grass by a melancholy breeze

Are you okay?

Okay  Compared to wha

                           Im in need of something anchoredweighed  In need of a tether

I’m sorry.

No You neednt be sorry I ought to be grateful

                                                 Denied Im greedy   My memory is like an impossibly long train that still has cars that havent departed the station the chain is elastic it stretches streetches  then leaves before its tensilestrength is snapped

How is that possible?

I don know Its exquisite

                            Exquisitely painful   I remember things I should have forgotten Im like a feral dog  wolf  on a scent   A shark Thinned blood in paleblue water

                                                       So I sigh though usually not this deeep But the older I am the many fibers are more assured an during this time of year come into confluence

                                                                                   Im aware Id be a fool to attempt to deny the reality  But even if I could let go Drop the reins   I would not

Then there’s nothing I can do to help.

he smiled

her eyes were big  they shone compassionately

No  Nothing

               I appreciate ya seem to get it

1613,  Sunday,  20  3. 22

1758,  Sunday

damn game shows kept crowding him 

TV audience crowed for more

they were really fond of TRUE or FALSE 

                                            although he didnt want to be the manicuredlacquered shiny host while asleep  dreaming   that portal was meant for him for sex for nonsense for deliberating forecasting  soothsayer saying

    JESUS! 

             Awright  awright awready   Another round

TRUE or FALSE

Is a trophy apostle called an apostrophe? 

                                              Awnawh  the studio audience fell quiet they were really ponderingworking out the answer

Yes Virginia there are nightmares

after 3PM,  Saturday,  22 1. 22

1354,  Sunday,  20  3. 22

he choked  choked arrgh tried to clear his throatARRGH  tears squirted into his eyesARRGH

Moby cracked him on the back You okay?

ARRGH

Moby cracked him again

                          Okay?

   Aawhh    Better Thank you

Something catch in your throat?

he put a thumb index finger in his mouth to the back of his throat he gagged 

                                                                               Moby choked his eyes watered Christ don’t do that.

he tried a second time gagging again

                                       Moby choked harder   Woudya QUIT!

he held up his stickyspittlecovered index finger indicating one more time

                                                                           Moby spunturned his back to himput fingers in his ears

ARRGH

             Got it

shook his headwiped tears out of his eyes

Ya done? he pulled a finger out of his earstill with his back to him  DONE?

Yah cleared his throat again  Done

Moby turned towards him looking under his arm that kept a finger lodged  You’re done?

cleared his throat Yes  he spat it out shielded Moby from seeing with his body

Well what the fuck was it?

  Hairball

           Pubic hair ball Had a wild time last night  began humming You’ve Made Me So Very Happy

1503,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1307, Sunday,  20  3. 22 

Blood, Sweat & Tears  You’ve Made Me So Very Happy   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZtRAoITP0

after three weeks of depressing oppressive news Putins USSR revisionist history Russia attacking Ukraine death destruction sheer idiocy delusion  czarist Peter the Great wannabe redux

    NO

he reallyreally needed something light to enjoy

                                                    something   he read  “. . . investigations into incidents like who left a cracker wrapper in the galley restroom sink.” 

                                                something like cracker wrapper

whas not to like glib  crinklysounding cellophane   another phonaesthetic

they did something for him

                             he kept his ears open eyes peeled a laugh tucked haphazardly in his throat                                                                          

it treated him gently  a generous bright hobby

cracker wrapper humoured him

2134,  Saturday,  19  3. 22

1229,  Sunday,  20  3. 22

pg 14 Rogue Protocol 

https://www.wsj.com/articles/vlad-the-mad-is-no-peter-the-great-putin-russia-ukraine-cossacks-language-culture-11647195986

Fifth Dimension  One Less Bell to Answer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjW_z02EjaA

Yave heard don eat where you shit

Jesusreally. I hate that aphorism.

I like it pithy don beatround the bush  thas an idiom

I know, I know . .

. . Ofcourse ya do I had no doubt

                                     Howbout something pithier Don shit while ya eat

AwwJesus.

     Pretty ugly

                 My kid brother would grab an apple from a bowl on the kitchen table bite into it an head into the half bath just off the kitchen 

                         Whadadya doin

Hed take another big bite through his juicy chewin Goin to the bathroom shut the door behind him sound of the toilet lid striking the tank Crunch another bite

                                        My stomach flipped

He did become a soldier

Maybe thas wha it takes

I didn’t need to know that.

No I was happy sharing

Which brother?

You knowem all  Who do you think

I think . . maybe I don’t want to know.

Yahwell ya shake their hands

                                    Where were they last

AwwJesus.

            I don’t wanna know.  Suppose I’ll take my chances

Sure Aint remotely as bad as losing at Russian roulette

1500,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1030,  Sunday,  20  3. 22

   cacophony

        phonaesthetics

mass graves 

        turn out the cellar door light  

euphony sucked in a terrified breathclosed its eyes

                                                    he didnt realise tears would escape

   

middle of the night, Saturday,  19  3. 22

2006,  Saturday

Havent been sleeping well

Nah

Whadaya attribute tha to

Whaevers keepin me uptossin my sleep like salad

Ya don seem curious

Im not

Why

Everything in time

                   Sleep will eventually find me  Im not fretting            

Because eventually

Yah Eventually

Yaever think thas a misguided notion

Nah

Why

To date its served me well I get to a point where Im too exhausted an even whaever it is cant penetrate

                                                                                                              I sleep long  hard wake refreshed  Its put out to pasture until the next bout

   You

Sleeping pills

Better life through chemistry

Yah Yacoud say that

As long as you left the door open  I might suggest chemistry didnt see the opioid epidemic coming

Thats grim

I havent been sleeping well

2329,  ReggaeFriday,  18  3. 22

1036,  cindi shy Saturday,  19  3. 22

Strawberry Alarm Clock  Incense and Peppermints  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RghL1rViX34

he came out the door heavy sluggish  Dammit! Magda’s not coming.

I satup in the chaise lounge beside the pool

                                             Whadamean shes not coming Shes been dragging her feet coming over for a swim drinks barbecue for awhile  She made a commitment

they were dying to see her in a swimsuit she looked like Brenda Vaccaros Midnight Cowboy voice he said hed fuck her voice

      Moby said he hadnt a clue what he was talking about Her voice manher voice sultry smoky   vampish   I still don’t know what you’re talking about.

                                        I shook my headthought Ya can lead a horse to water but ya cant make it drink

Why isnt she comingrather why is she blowing us off

A girlfriend needed her. Evidently she’s in a rough spot, relationship falling down around her ears, upset, confused, doesn’t know if she should try any longer to make it work.

You ought to be going over

Are you kidding me?

  No

      Yare not six months off your divorceyare fresh worked hard four years trying to make your marriage work

Magdas never been married or as shes admitted  been in a serious relationship

She’s young yet.

She is You go instead and have Magda come here  Ill keep her company

Yeah, fat chance.

Im just saying yare experiencedhave insights Magda cant

Fat chance.

Well when you said she wasnt I thought she was ditching us for that baby thing

Baby thing?

Yah Wha theyre called

Shower, a baby shower.

That thing

No, you recall she said she’d blow off the shower for us?

Ya didnt share that with me

I didn’t? I did.

Yadidnt

Thought I ha . .

. . No  Didnt say

Well . . she told me she’d blow off the shower.

  Hmmm

Hmm, what?

    Think Ill change my name to shower

1455,  Saturday,  22  1. 22

1256,  ReggaeFriday,  18  3. 22

You remember any crushes you had as a boy he asked his barber

                                                                      his barber Milo had been cutting hair longer than hed been alive

Crushes. Let me think . . . no schoolboy crushes, none I can remember.

I remember my first and second.

First and second? In grade school?

Elementary school

                    First one was a fourth grade teacher whose classroom was on the second floor The school opened in 1915 had really high ceilings huge bank of windows in every classroom Id walked up stairscouldnt say what my problem was going up Id step left then step right feet together again it was laborious going up Coming down Id step right then left feet together as laborious The classrooms younger kids first floor were let out first That bought me time to make to the second floor before the older kids were let out Id hold her classroom door open When all the kids had left Id take her satchel from her and carry it downstairs and out to her car on the street Crazy how patience she was with me on the steps never hurried or rushed me

                                               I used to watch her drive off Id wave to her She looked in her rearview mirror and wave  I really liked her

That’s quite a crush.

It was Funnythough   I cant remember wha she looked like But I was certainly head over heels

                                                                                                      Then in third grade I had a crush on my third grade teacher Mrs. Thompsons daughter She was going to college learning to also become a teacher She made all the field trips we went on She always had me in her group  She let me hold her hand

Held her hand?

Yah

You were a funny kid.

I don know  I kinda think you were a funny kid not having a crush

You recall I grew up in rural Wyoming. Not many kids in a classroom or in the school for that matter.

Ahh right   I grew up in Chicagokids everywhere

Makes sense. he paused   You know . . I take it back, I did have a crush.

Yadid When

College.

You had your first crush in college

Yes.  Milo nodded  Statistics class, she was the instructor. We sat in an auditorium that sloped down to the dais she spoke from. I sat up frontdirectly in front of her. She was sitting in a chair because she broke her leg skiing. Wore a mini skirt. It was up high on her thighs.

                                     he got very thoughtful  No.  On second thought it wasn’t a crush.   It was lust.

0923,  ReggaeFriday,  18  3. 22

they said NO

              they prefer Russia retain “most favorite nation” status with the World Trade Organisation

Arizona  Andy Biggs

North Carolina  Dan Bishop

Colorado  Lauren Boebert

Florida  Matt Gaetz

Georgia  Marjorie Taylor Greene

Wisconsin  Glenn Grothman

Kentucky  Thomas Massie

Texas  Chip Roy

    hmm

          had to wonder if they voted the way their constituents wanted or once again were being irresponsible  voted to soothe their possiblyderanged minds

the House vote was 424-8

1541,  ReggaeFriday,  18  3. 22

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/house-strips-russia-trade-status-gop-opposition-rcna20583?cid=eml_mra_20220318&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

 

he was spinning out of controlfantasising producing  game shows in his head

                                                                                  why wait for production units  immoral swarmy producers whose idea is to propel themselvestheir careers make bookoo bucks off the backs of socalled talent  wannabes naïvely seeking phony ephermeral fame fortune 

                                                               Damn anonymity  Whas it good for   Absolutely nothing

WAR

step aside  they ought to tout themselves whores   get on with it

                                                                    honesty is the best policyKnow Thy Self  when he got a whiff Whell whores smell a certain way

If it walks like a whore talks like a whore  its probably a whore

 

the most recent game show knocking around inside his head he called TRUE or FALSE

                                                                                                                                       If your nuts are warm, can you be cold?

sexistyes

          but he hadnt a feminine equivalence

had he he would have referred to it

 

       we are equal 

                      his feminist side was slowlatent he crossed his fingers that it would catchup with him                           

probably 1450hrs,  Saturday,  22  1. 22 

2214,  Thursday – St Paddys Day,  17  3. 22 

Edwin Starr  War  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJRJpbGkG4

Buffy Sainte-Marie  Universal Soldier  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q09f1OE7R8s