11.10.21

  

he wanted to see him blanchcouldnt resist himself

he turned to Denver one day hed ask her how her name came to be Yawanna see something I think is fascinating

You think it’d be fascinating? Most things that comes out of your mouth are fascinating . . yet you deflect, you say they’re not.

Thank youno matter this will be fascinating
                                              Watch Maxs face he didnt like Maximilianhis given name Guaranteed choice

I’m watching.

Say Max yacatch Norm Macdonalds standup the other evening

No, NetFlix’s right? I heard something about it; any goo . .
. . Its fuckin Norm Macdonald

Was it good?

He was sensationalbest bit of the evening autoerotic asphyxiation

SPASMMaxs face contorted   Didnt I tellya   He’s disgusted.   Certain sex disgusts him   What the fucks with you and that.   He cant even say it   This is nuts.   That that yamean autoerotic asphyxiation   JesusChrist! he looked like he had bile to spit  

Ohmy I keep forgettin yare a prude

You don’t, youyou, you constantly say things that disgust me.

Jacking off disgusts you
                         I heard tell ones ejaculation is halfagainonehunred percent stronger If true Id smash glass in the window I watch my neighbour Becky sunbathe naked through

Do me a favor, man, just shaddupshaddup about it . .
. . Ya wouldnt have known what it was if I hadnt told you

What? Denver asked her eyes rolled

Don’t you start with me, don’t you dare side with him.

I'm sorry, you didn’t know what autoerotic asphyxiation was?

I said don’t start with me.

You look like you’re going to puk . .
. . It’s pukeworthy!

Ask him about giving women hea . . 
. . Shaddup!

Joe smacked his lips So damn tasty

Don’t stop I’m gone.

Denvers eyes got really huge
                              This is unbelievable, freakin’ unbelievable, I’ve known you since we were kids . . you a monk?

No.
    It’s distasteful; yet Joe goes and goes and can’t keep a damn thing off the table.

Why would I
              Were all grownupbig boys

Denver shook her head
                         I must say, I think if I had a dick I might be temptedyou said a climax . a time an a halftwo times more powerful?
Yah

I’d definitely be tempted.

I wouldnt Id endup hanging myself  Cant explain that away
                                                                Id rather be eaten alive in an ad hocthough I wouldnt know it orgy with featheranleatherstrapped tattooed cannibal females
With huge titsjust to complete the picture

Fucking guy.  Denvers head hadnt quit shaking

Some funhuh

Not fun. said Max

Fuckin hilarious
                 Blame Macdonald

1915,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21
1414,  Sunday,  10  10. 21

 

with a heavy heart the only analogy he has left 

it is brutal
           Drumpf Republicans are like the Germansthe Jews who sought to placate Hitler and his Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei  Nazis

1731,  Monday – Indigenous People’s Day,  11  10. 21

Dead Kennedys  Kill the Poor  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqnaHDdvh5I

 

                        pensee

subject  Perfect


Perfect

newborns pink nails

held soft in their mothers hand

through an incubator portal

shell be a tough cookie

 

1948,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21
1109,  Sunday,  10  10. 21

 

Iowas Republican Senator Grassley at 88 vacillates or maybe he cant remember what his aides put out in his name very likely he quit thinking for himself long ago

his News Release regarding 6 January
                                          “Today’s violent attack on the U. S. Capitol was an attack on American democracy (voting rights) itself. This was not a demonstration of any of our protected, unalienable rights. These were un-American acts worthy only of condemnation. Those who plowed over police barricades, ignored law enforcement or desecrated out monument to representative democracy (at the formers behest) flouted the rule of law and disgraced the nation.”

Saturday 9 October Grassley aligned himself with the disgraced former
                                                                             “Anybody who’s got the approval rating of 91% of the Republicans in Iowa, you surely wouldn’t be stupid enough to turn down that help.”


he thought about it
                     perhaps Grassleys senileperhaps 91% of Iowa Republicans plus-one are nothing more than lemmings unable to think for themselves nits who enjoy being cultists

1511,  Monday – Indigenous People’s Day,  11  10. 21

10.10.21

 

he agreed to move in with his brother

they had talked about it as teenagersthey werent teenagers any more

his brother said he found a perfect place a two bedroom apartment loft balcony a great room  

either as his brother explained it he didnt say it right or he didnt hear correctly
                                                                                   the difference might have been that his brother was a visual artist he was a writer his brother may not have understood the heft of his words as he described the place they painted it rather than etching them in blackanwhite typewriter bullet reportskeys cracking the confined paper

the apartment utilities were within his budget
                                                 he said Yah sightunseen happy seeing what he saw

when they went to move in neither were pleased
                                                   It’s not what I remember. his brother said
Looks nothing like you explained he said

walking through it talking about it they found their dreamy configurations were similar although more akin to seeing askewthrough beveled glass or reflections refracted by a carnival Funhouse mirror grit overlaid siftingshadows fucking palimpsest mergers

I see what you’re saying. his brother said

I can see what you were saying he said 

 

Give it a go?

I can give it a go Got my shit in the truck Nowhere else to go

My shit too.

Then were in

Yes, we are in.


they helped move each other in

got one truck then the other back to the rental centers and took a bus with transfers back near the apartment walkedjabbered the remaining short mile

 

lights were on

someone was home

he could smell food
                     My girlfriend asked if she could make us a homecooked meal for our first night home; I didn’t think you’d say no. She’s a good cook.

Maw-good cook

On par, though different than Maw’s.

Whas her name

Renne, not Renee, two ns not two es.

Renne

Perfect. Keep that up and she’ll have you speaking French before you know it.

Yare not

Hell no, words here and there, although I could listen to her speak for hours; it’s like music. We’ve only just begun seeing each other exclusively.

You  Exclusive

Ah . . slowly . . . but I think surely . eventually.

Renne knows  eventually

She knows, I’ve told her.

So I could tell her wouldnt ruffle her feathers

You could tell her, but after dinner, huh? 

he almost told her before dinner
                               his brother had told Renne that his family was physicalhugging kissing she slipped his extended handwent up into his arms her body was warm from cooking she smelled wonderful felt good  almost as tall as he she was taller than his brother

she served dinner on the diningroom table that had been their mothers clean Scandinavian design his brothers now served it under candlelight the three of them at one end his brother at the head
                                                                                    the candlelight nearly penetrated the sheer plum blouse she worethe embroidery down her breasts offered some modesty
                                                                                        but after dinner having moved to the livingroom sipping fruit aperitif backed by music he opened a window to better hear and smell the rain outside  a cool breeze entered erected her nipples  modesty closed shopwent out the window 

he offered her a cardigan he couldnt imagine his brother was oblivious maybe showing her off

she declinedhe was happy she said the fresh air felt goodhe felt good she looked good

they sat on the couch she leaned overput her hand on top of his she squeezed his hand  I think you and I are going to be very good friends.  

it was strange



he agreed to move in with his brother
                                       he may have gotten more than he bargained for

0321,  Twosday,  5  10. 21
0950,  Sunday,  10  10. 21

 

he contemplated the tarnished whitequartz broken rib that stuck out of the earths side 

it had been scoured by ancient seawater before a violent tectonic shift forced it upthe water to recedebecome a deep sonorous river that is the east boundary of the remote twisting gorge

the rib is dazzlingwhite in places  like fangs
                                               although its majority is rustcoloured  brittle   crumbling

it was his third trek in a day and a half hike  if one tried he tried once and failed taking the river theyd be blind its course narrow the water swift tall cutbanks anchorage untenable


the rib relished its solitude                                     

he applauded it they shared that 
                                    reverent existential solitaires
theyd visit twothree days

then retiring he heldup his hand  saluted it
                                              hiked out

until the next random time when he needed to be assured  vivified

2311,  Thursday,  7  10. 21
1122,  Saturday,  9  10. 21

9.10.21

 

hed give her the eyes followed up with the eyebrowswiggling emGrouchos eyebrows    Hmmmm


You kidding me?

If youll tell me what it is Ill kid you till the cows come home orya pass out

Kidding me . . teasing me.

Tease Hell Ill do better than that
                                  Whadaya say Toots hadnt time for Tootsy Wootsy

she didnt say

maybe she wasnt in the mood for Toots
Whadaya say Babycakes Sugarcube  VaVaVaVoom    apparently he had time for Tootsy Wootsy

What are you rambling about?

Jesus wasnt he obvious Im rambling because inside Im a bottle of soda pop shaken a teakettle on the boil a bastion under attack walls falling
                   I wanna kid ya right here on the floor hell with rug burns or I can sweep you up off your feet toss ya in bed an do our damage there

she shouldnt be slow on the uptakehed been taking her up on every opportunity he could contrivehe was contrivinghed nevernever get his fill of her

Yare teasing meyah

   Am I?
            she threw her head backlaughed gayly her mouth wide open
he snatched her off her feet
gave her Groucho eyebrows againnot that she saw
                                                   Think Ill tickle your fancy
fancy was between her legsthe back of her knees armpits throat belly breasts feverishly he sought more fancy to please her to please her
                    to please her

0343,  Sunday,  3  10. 21
1300, Saturday,  9  10. 21
Yare not so bad yareself  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSabiG8q8-k 

 

the subject is ice cream
                              had a pensee epiphany 

ice cream

cold smooth and sweet

turned lightly on her nipple

in a Prince Castle parking lot

creamy coconut cone

1308,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21

Unloved   Guilty of Love   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiNKRdGExBw


8.10.21

 

whas one supposed to do

he had walked up on a clutch of five sixseven people  men  women
                                                                         a gal said plump glowing skin
he almost swallowed his tongue
heads bobbed in agreement
he wondered what the preamble had been
                                             wha plump glowing flesh
he took a sip of his Irish whisky neat
                                         Excuse me Im Joe hello everyone they nodded to himtheir nods distinctly different than their bobbles You said plump glowing skin

Yes. the woman who said it replied

Your plump glowing skin or someone elses

Mine, everyones.

Areya making a cosmetic pitch something you overheard a friends remark

No, not necessarily, but yes mine, and other’s if they wish.

Yamean I could get my hands on this plump glowing flesh

Flesh?

Flesh

Plump glowing skin . . skin.


I see  Aw nevermind
                       I imagined something else entirely different  he excused himself walked away from the group fingers crossed a seed or seeds planted
the women were attractive

 

later that evening as the party began to winnow out  Er, ah, excuse me Joe . .

it was the woman in the collective who described the plump skin 
                                                                     Yes
she smiled warmly he might say enchantingly
                                                    You said you imagined something else entirely different.

I did


Is that something . ah . . we could . . . explore?

Id love to

suddenlyhoarse Lemme get my coat.

he watched her walk away
                             she was every bit attractive walking away as she came

2303,  Thursday,  7  10. 21
1239,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21


   Airbnb
           his kids teased himcalled him lame  he called it r-b-n-b   Air makes no fuckin sense unless were renting a dirigible   Dirigible. Who says dirigible anymore?   Yajust heard it come out of my mouth   Jeez, Dad.

the kids gotta complicate his life
                                 he liked seedy motels  they liked glam they liked room service on-site salon restaurants wanted to treat themselves to pedicures manicuresdidnt cure a damn thing   Pretty. he wasnt a fan
the Airbnb was a compromise


he told them two months earlier he didnt want to be anywhere but in a bar at the bar this Sunday  Bears would be playing in the Championship game

they made the plans anyway

Say ole man
             not old man ole man  You want to catch the game you’re gonna have to get it on the screen.  that was cruel  they made it seem like an incentive  him making the machinethe shit work
he didnt own one 
                   the Airbnb had an enormous flat screen  a 22inch diagonal was plenty for him   That’s because you don’t entertain.   I throw barbecues  We sit outside under the stars and yap  Who the hell wants to be inside if they don have to be

they arrived on a Thursday

the flat screen remained dark and mute
                                          kids werent tipping their hand  he could figure it outhe wasnt a stupid man
No Im an uninterested man   Your interest will grow. they played board games

Friday mute
              they built a thousand-piece Van Gogh puzzle

Saturday
           they went out for nice dinner and took in a late movie The Little Things at an Art Deco cinema

Sunday his kids wouldnt know Frankie Laines Never Come Sunday  It’s on you, Dad. We’re off to pickup some donuts, make the coffee would you, please?
                                  they left him to his devises
Fuck
       theyd let him hang himself they werent Bears fans 
hed have to find the damn remotes first

thankgawd they didnt hide them on himthat would have sent him over the moon hed walk to some distant bar to catch the game he might still do that

how hard could it be  they could do it

but he was an eidget with technology

they had a hate – hate relationship

whenever he told someone that they corrected him  It’s a love -- hate relationship.       

No I hate it it hates me

his kids would know Brigitte Bardots Contact either 


he took a deep breath  and dove in

 

when they returned with a dozenplus sweet rolls something with nutspecans and donuts he had the coffee on the flat screen On
           on the 65inch was a scintillating image of a womans torsoshe was on her back  natural large breasts  glitter sparkled in light honeycoloured oil that rolled down off her throatswept across her naked body accentuated with psychedelic coloured lighting  strobe
                                       music was synched with the films ardor  she had a fantastic body  she began writhingturning on one hip then the other then slipped like an eel onto her bellyon her knees ass sashaying breasts compressedsqueezeddown then tasteful merge shots overlays of her from below the sides abovebeforebehind exquisitely edited  sexual art
                   sipping black coffee he burned his tongue
Jesus, Dad!  was the chorus


hes heard it said  If it wasnt for bad luck Id have no luck at all

he believed if it wasnt for dumb luck hed have no luck at all


he missed the opening kickoff 
          
2311,  Thursday,  7  10. 21
1134,  ReggaeFriday,  8  10. 21
Frankie Laine  Never Come Sunday  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ifUTPy7Ats
Ray Charles  If It Wasn’t for Bad Luck  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AodHdQ4O_U 

7.10.21


he looked around the lightthe colour was different sky trees flowers   paler 
                                                                                 something was off
Fercryinoutloud he wished he was intuitive  he could realeyes   struggled to intuit
somethings amiss


he felt wellthe difference felt external to him  externalised    external lies
                                                                              external lies the issue
Wha
     wha


one of hes cautioned patience
                               Let it in  Like drowning  Ifya don fight it its over quicker
Drowning macabre lil shit
                          Yare right thank you  that helpsreally helps

Yare welcome


like drowning he clogged his ears noseshut his eyes minimised his sensory perceptions  satstill in the pale yellow sunlight

he and his force hunkered down patiently
                                            it must have been like this during air raids hiding in tunnels cavesbehind false wallssuddenly bombs the enemy had supernatural abilities
                                                                           he wondered if he was even breathing 


his body began to cool  the sun fell lower in the sky
                                                      inside him shadows grew longer
There space   a slight space among hethose to either side of it were suddenly aware of it too  they appeared to worry he was going to accuse themwarily looked back at him they knew better 
                                                                                   he smiled bemusedrelieved put them at ease  it wasnt their fault

 

she was missing 
               his hes were hims and hers  she was missing   she had made the difference he witnessed

he opened his eyesunplugged his ears his heart beat unplugged his nose


                                                                                       she made the difference
he was abandoned by an angel

 

 

he could only hope it was temporary

2156,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  6  10. 21
1339,  Thursday,  7  10. 21


the girls wanted ice cream
                            looking into their eyes he saw they were adamant

he didntwasnt interested  he began humming Whatever Lola Wants

they dressed him down in stereo eyes   suggested he might wanna cut that out

Wha he wasnt convincing 
                            he was playing  shesh No sense of humour

For that his wife said  you’re having ice cream with us.

Thats fine Im happy to have ice cream with you

No, I mean have, eat, ice cream.

Id prefer not

Com’on, Dad his girls said excitedlypicking up on their mothers derision have ice cream with us, that’d make it a real treat.
no sooner than they closed theirs mouth they worked him with their eyesthe three of them  his wife and eldest had huge brown eyes touted their hereditary brown eye treatmenthe watched guys jump hoops for his wife before they dated IDIOTS he told her when they began dating that that wouldnt work on him though only with extreme effort was he able to resist  not that he told her his youngest braided him with her greenishhazel eyes  as huge as her mother and sisters

felt like he had fallen headlong into the 60s film Village of the Damned


he went along with themthe path of least resistance 

he couldnt remember  yahhe could Sanibel Island Florida after hours of swimming in saltwater under the sun refreshing blizzards at the Dairy Queen without fail their girls were little
                                                                he conceded


it was a bright yellow ice cream parlor

there were booths

the girls had sundaes
how could they eat that much ice cream 
                                      he had a cone
they convinced him to have two scoops  creamy coconut ice cream

as they fell mindlessly into their feasts spooningingesting his cone unraveled the scoops falling into his hand
Manohman he saidbarely attracting their attention
                                                        I get a discount for eating out of hand 
they looked up
he took their barrage of laughter in good humour
                                                   Yes  Very funny  Someone wanna hand me a napkin please
the dispenser at the table was empty

his youngest boundup to the counter

she returned with a spoon
                           They’re out of napkins, something about an order unfilled, it's late . . I brought you a spoon . figured you could eat your ice cream cone out of your hand. she laughed  that tickled her

Out  of  my  hand
                     he tried to keep his anger in check  anger warms the body

You always say, Dad, waste not, want not.

Thank you doll for your thoughtfulness

You’re welcome, Daddy. that wasnt necessary  Daddy  unnecessary
                                                                             she fell back to her sundae  his problem wasnt hersher ice cream was getting warm


he ate down to the unfolded cone then with melted ice cream flowing down his forearmdripping off his elbow he stood and walked up to the counter  he apologised to the clerk asked for the manager for the mess on their floor from their failed producttheir lack of napkins

Originally he said to the manager I was going to ask for a discount
                                                                       but sticky as I am I prefer to be reimbursed for my doublescoop coconut cone  Im wearing half of it  Shared a portion of itoff my elbow with your floor

the manager correctly obliged him


the girls had exitedwaited outside for him
                                            they knew when he got something into his skull hed to be sure to get what he believed was reasonably his

they learned from his exampleparticularly his daughters
                                                           he always made them standup for themselves against adults when they were children

while they werent keen about it as girls they thanked him more times than he could say as young women


gratefully they didnt ask him eat ice cream with them again

0343,  Sunday,  3  10. 21
2313, Day-between-Two-Ts, 6  10. 21
Sarah Vaughan  Whatever Lola Wants  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oa6oM5kzBg 

 

publicly politicians obfuscate make word salad he understood that
                                                                        however when in private conversation with party colleagues he expected their discussions to be frank their points succinct and distinctly able to clarify their positions
Don play politics with cohorts


“Respectfully, Senator Sanders and I share (pause here Senator Manchin yare not sharing but . . have) very different policy and political beliefs. As he and I have discussed, Senator Sanders believes America should be moving towards an entitlement society while I believe we should have a compassionate and rewarding society.”

Manchin has refused to define an entitlement society and now believes we should have a compassionate and rewarding society however also fails to define that

Sanders Senate Budget Committee chairman who is helping mold the presidents ambitious priorities into legislation wants specificity “. . tell us with specificity – not generalities, but beyond generalities, with specificity – what (Manchin) wants and what he does not want, and explain that to the people of West Virginia and America.”

West Virginia elected Manchin with just north of 209,000 votes

the country elected Biden with a record 81,284,000 votes seven million votes more than the disgraced former

1021,  Thursday,  7  10. 21

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/01/28/turnout-soared-in-2020-as-nearly-two-thirds-of-eligible-u-s-voters-cast-ballots-for-president/  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/joe-biden-popular-vote-record-barack-obama-us-presidential-election-donald-trump/