You should never drink alone.

he disliked snide remarks   disliked sneers 

                                                if she wasnt his mother hed tell her to fuck off

awhell gotta to be true to yourself

                                     Maw for wha its worth   Fuck off

Joe! 

     not an Oscar-worthy performance she was just picking the scab when they didnt see eye to eye rarely did she thought hed come around to her way of thinking

that departure separation  was cauterised after the split

                                                          the smell of burning fleshhair is unmistakably

Save it Maw Never drink alone   Never is an absolute

Your point?

My point 

          Nothing is absolute is your point

I drink alone because no one can keep uptheyre humiliated An I think thats more problematic than hurling their guts in a public toilet 

              Without sense enough to just go outside and puke in the grass or the street gutter

Where I puke  though not often 

                                 if I gotta blow I got a firm grip on a No Parking sign or something to hold a bush while leaning forward so I dont have to throw away my shoes the next morning

You realise . . Here it comes . . . you're speaking to your mother.

I do  An Im your son 

                      Birthing me didnt make me your property I aint like my siblings who youve assembled an work in lockstep

First born I had first crack at the goods on the top shelf an I might have been a bit greedy an takin the lions share of balls

Anyway

Save the sermon

Ill drink alone literally   not figuratively Im drinkin for personalities who cant hold glasses because their hands are immaterial

           Even if they could pour it down their gullet itd splash on the floor  whether it be beneath above or alongside em

A dirty job but somebodys got to do it 

                                         That  an fuckin fat girls

My God, Joe . . 

. . Got that right Maw yer God

2319,  Saturday,  6  2. 21

 

it was just beyond duskdarkening up the golden hour passed

he slowlyrolled up to the street to exit the apartment complex he looked left for traffic looked right to assure himself that a car wasnt making a left into the complex cheatingentering in his lane and not swingingwide making a ninetydegree angle turn as they should into their appropriate lane

with his left free looking right he saw a teenage boy had crossed the street ahead and disappeared from sight as he kept walking

he made his right and slowlyrolled up to the cross street that the teenager paralleled which hed make a right onto

he had expected to see him walking on the sidewalk

he did not

with no oncoming traffic he made a right and merging into the lane he was startled to see only a disembodied left arm swinging in cadence with steps

                                asif he emerged  was rematerialising 

he had spats with ghosts

those however were inclined to interior pursuits haunting houses particular rooms cellars

his foot came off the gas pedal

he glanced in his rearview 

headlights were gaining on him

he veered nearer the side of the curbless roadnearer where the sidewalk was ending and the young man would have to walk on the shoulders dirt and gravel it was a wide rural road a wider road than he was familiar with in the Midwest where he was from

as the car came up on him he saw his cars shadow dimly stretch ahead stretched long like momentary taffy then shortening shortening  shorteninggone as it sped by

after the car passed he had squintedturned his head right avoided the light glinting off his mirrors to keep his night vision not let it be starched and bleached because if ruined the walking spirit would be obliterated disappeared

 

                                                                                                 an outdoor ghost

the old road narrowed a bit forcing him left at the edge of his headlights he saw the boys shoulder hip the back of his head  

     asif his emergence was formed like a deck of cards being fanned where eventually the edges of all the cards could be seen 

        asif he was spread from behind an impenetrableblack destitute hand   

nearing him he saw the boys shoes kick up dust scatter small stones and gravel onto the roads edge  revealed more and more 

           however he noticed too in his poise his steps he was aware of the slow car behind them and he was also aware that his headlights threw his shadow before him  taffy again 

                                                                             a ghost doesnt cast a shadow

then nearly upon the boy he saw a solid black figure steps behind him the black figure had obscured him had dealt him like a deck of cards

                   now almost beside him his steps anxious quicker shorter likely preparing to run he tossed a quick look over his shoulder at him while the trailing pitchblack figure  threedimensional  turned its head and looked directly at him without eyes or features without clothing   a threedimensional humanshaped silhouette gliding directly behind the boy   a threedimensional pitchblack impenetrable hole in this living dimension 

                                                                                      startled he abruptly hit the gas pedal the car lurched forward the teenager turnedfast to the road and stopped 

                                                                              the black figure stopped too  however paid him no heed  faced the boy fascinated by the boy

continuing up the road he checked his sideviewhis rear mirrors and could still see him see the shape looming behind him 

 

he didnt have the courage to turn around

his mind argued he was seeing things

I know what I saw

You know what you thought you saw

So your explanation is 

Nothing was there 

                     A construct you imagined made of weak light and shadows

No There was something   There was something there

 

a couplethree days later a local television News Bulletin Authorities requested anyone who might have information about a missing boy to please come forward

. . . please come forward

he knew the boy wasnt going to be found

 

recalled again One-ish,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

1059,  Saturday,  6  2. 21

Elton John  Razor Face  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=udGvU-y2xgQ

 

        Elmet the last independent Celtic kingdom in England badlands  a sanctuary  for refugees from the law or so said Ted Hughes 

                   he read it as he walked

a skittering woke his attention

in the middle of the street on its weathered facethe sand erodingtpebbles singular scattered obvious  separatecitadels  running over it was a dandywhirl of several leaves turning one way and then the other one chasing the others the others chasing one chasing two three broke into the lead across the street towards him and leapt the high curb onto the sidewalk 

          those who chased them pulled up short backed off  then disbanded fleeing possibly  him 

                                                                                                           and the three on the sidewalk before him he startled two fled back onto the street the third hurled itself at the chainlink fence and tried to climb it 

there was no wind

the leafsomewhat waxen slipped on the links and fell down onto the dirt

mesmerised he stepped towards it

it stood facing the fence and must have decided it was supple enough to yet fold rather it rolled itself up and jumped through a link unfurling safely on the other side

he knelt down leaned forward clutched the fence his handfingers looking clawish

the leaf backpedaled though still intently facing him

it looked right

he looked left

its two playmates returned had worked their way up the street ahead of him  they leapt over the curb onto the sidewalk and crossing the dirt they began to collapse like paper rolled for cigarettes

they jumped through separate holes between the links

he looked back at the leaf

it was facing him

then it flopped wiggled and fled over the grass as its playmates angled towards it

he watched them run to a handball wall and disappear around behind it 

      Hmmm 

                     how fortunate was he

 

1234,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

 

he looked up out of his book over the top of it to suddengauge the landscapestreet ahead

in the distance he was treated to a mane of jetblack hair

it obliterated the brightblue windbreaker she wore he could see her arms near her waist a narrow band then black slacks 

        she was a figure of black and brightblue

he wouldnt overtake her 

                               not literally  however figuratively he could

catch her

excuse himself

compliment her luxurious thick hair

admire her deepbrown almondcut eyes

high cheekbones

full mouth lips 

First People nose 

                  trying very hard not to stare actually only getting out the compliment of her hair

Thank you.

Goodness no thank you I had to say  Please have a fine afternoon

she giggled like a spring bubbling up out of the earth 

                                                         Thank you. And you as well.

Yes  youve helped make it   Goodbye

Goodbye.

she walked away 

                   turned once over her shoulder knowing he was still admiring her  a smile a quick wave  and remain turned just long enough for him to quickly wave back

she went around a corner

thank goodness they were walking in the same direction and he wouldnt want her to think he was following her

Monday afternoon,  1  2. 21

1157,  Reggae Friday,  5  2. 21

January 6

he thought if he could hide among the wolves

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c28DS9SVWH8

     a brave admission 

                            but hes a Democrat  Minnesota Representative Dean Phillips

                                                                                             2345,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Rashida Tlaib   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRkzF3RKNP8 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah9uOqVW96o 

  

 

199 greene bottles of beer on the wall 199 bottles of beer

Take one down pass it around 

198 bottles of the beer on the wall 

he has no idea who would drink that swill

1052,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

Andy Kaufman made me do it

 

he reallyreally enjoyed topsy turvy sex  on occasion might have been a little loud bellicose over the topmebbe overboard but reigning in his enthusiasm was like bridling a wild animaldenying it its particular ways and nature  

                                                                                                                    however a particularly surly old man who kept a basement room in the boardinghouse did not like either his enthusiasm or the young women he entertained 

they never made a production on their way up to his third floor room he escorted them up the marvelous beautifullyornate staircase 

                             Once upon a time it had been a manse

in that neck of the woods only the Church could ever afford to erect such a structure might have made some want to consider blowing off womens and commit to preaching the Gospel 

      not him

               though not that he couldnt see the other side of the cointhe argument aint getting laid might as well live well enjoined with the affections of your flock

speaking for himself hed rather have sex with certain members of the flock 

if the old man happened to be in the parlour when he entered with a guest he couldnt seem to refrain or manage or mind his Ps and Qs rather than sittintight quiet hed get up off his ass and accost themaccuse them of Fornication! Sin!  who talks like that Surely God will ruin of them, bring their Ruin down upon them. Why must you taint me and many others, infect us, who also live in this house? 

he stared into the man rheumy waterblue eyes Because I pay my way exactly as you do  anyer the only person in this house who ever bitches 

                       Stay out of my business he might have said to the old man but he did not stay out of my business an keep yers to yerself

I speak because God sides with me.

Lotsa fools think Gawds in their corner But take that up with someone who buys into Gawd If Gawd then why is this a boardinghouse 

                 they were already on the landing and heading to the next flight of steps that hid them from the parlour

the old man said something

they were heading onto something betterto do something much muchbetter 

some more noise carried up the staircase from the parlour

it was just noise to them

he didnt hear the old man proclaim he was Gods instrument 

he didnt hear his days were numbered

Is he always like that? she asked He strikes me as deranged. What is he capable of?

Capable

Yes, capable, is he dangerous?

I think hes more a danger to himself than others Ive lived here bout six monthsalmost six months and apparently Im the only person who drives his discontent

The only person?

Well me and who Im with such as yourself  

How many times?

Oh couplethree times a month mebbe a couple of months more It always occurs in the parlour

He’s never confronted you elsewhere?

He has a room in the cellar Ive mine here  Were a long way apart

I think he could be dangerous. Just now he seemed unhinged.

he gently pushed her against the wall took her by the shoulders and kissed her  

then he pulled her to him embraced her and whispered into her ear Yawanna see unhinged

she giggled Where am I looking?

Right here  forking his fingers he pointed to his eyes

Oh  my  Yes, you’re right.  Unhinged, and danger . .

                                                         she didnt speak for a long while after that

 

      night fell

                 he rolled off the side of the bed and slipped on his pants over his nakedness  Excuse me  I have to use the water closet

Oh, I do too. she rolled out of bed and grabbed his shirt off the back of a chair I'll be real fast; can you keep? 

Yah If not I got a mug here in the bedstand

I'll be back real quick. she said as she went past him to the door giving him a lightningfast kiss on the cheek We can pick up where we left off.

And that was where he smiled

I’ll think about it and be right back.

she opened the door peeked into the hall one way then the other Nobody. I’ll be back in a flash.

Thank you though I prefer you flash me

the door closed silently behind her he couldnt hear her going down the hall

                                                                               he was distracted by his bladder he opened the bedside cabinethe had to go more than he thought and removed the porcelain thunder mug  

urinating loudly he mumbled Put a head on it willya  and laughed 

                                                                     he thought he heard something in the hall above his urinating he stopped listened  nothing  he finished

                                                       finishing he thought he heard something again

he set the mug down on the stand buttoned his pants up picked it up again and went out the door

something a shuffle 

                     down near the water closet Daphne he said as he walk down the hall outside the closed door DAPHNE he heard something DAPHNE he tried the doorit was locked looking up on the opened transom he saw a reflection on its glass lighted by the full moon he took one step backlowered his shoulderslammed into the door the jamb splitsplintered the door swung in the heavy mug brokeurine showereda figure rushed himhe saw Daphne on the floorhe saw bloodsaw a glint off a blade as the figure slashed him 

                                                                     bringing his left up he caught the blade on his forearm it cut down to his elbow still holding the smashed mug by its handlea jagged side remaining he smashed it into the figures facestanding him uprightrepeatedly pummeled him with itnot letting him fall 

                                                                                       he heard screams behind him womens mens then hands grappling himpulling him backthe assailant falling awayover backwards on top of Daphne blood spattered everywhere they pulled him down into the hall

then noisessounds became words Stop! Stop, man! My God! mens words women screaming

      Once upon a time it had been a manse 

                                                 the story told now was of a crazy old man who lived in the cellar

who murdered a young woman in an upstairs water closet

the womans amor killed the old man with broken thunder mug

the story never mentions their names

people arent interested in names

just the horrible story

 

an attraction

             the boardinghouse never lacks tenants

 

1213 or 0013,  Twosday,  2  2. 21

1102,  Thursday,  4  2. 21

 

452,000 Americans dead from Trump virus

2306,  Dya-between-Two-Ts,  3  2. 21

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/it-s-the-same-disease-same-safety-measures-apply-to-coronavirus-variants-cdc-director-100504645636

he wrestled with this notion

                            he would have liked to flip the sexes aroundover onto their heads  but he couldnt make it work for an obvious reason

You have a special place in my heart.

I do

Yes.

Then mebbe ya got other special places for me too 

probably a non-starter a no-go  nada nada    Nada 

                                                         unless

  

                                                                    unless it was true

who knows what lurks in the heart of women  The Shadow knows

he was no Shadow he didnt have a clue

                                           yah he took the quote out of context  he was tryin to be benevolent tryin to widen the lanethe alley of  possibilities

he was a firm believer in that what itched and needed to be scratched by men also needed to be scratched by women

an affirmed believer 

Well I never . .  

Doncha think its about time yadid 

                                  Yer car yer drivin  Take me some place  a ramshackle motel yaknow a motel kinda like a freakin cathedral  rather than steeped in abject faith solemnity forgiveness of sins decades of sorrow a seedy motel steeped in funk an the ardor of sex  of shuttering sighsheaving breaths an breasts  steeped in a hotbox sweat of passionthe suffocating thrill of extramarital climaxes or prosties suckin an fuckin in n' out ten minuteTOPS   lurid expectations  lust 

                   damnin the consequencesprickly consequences part of thrill

lipstick on collars

Billy or Betty picked up late from school

Bobby cumming for the first time handjob head  hoarsely Do my pussy good, stud

                                                                                    a motel that wouldnt have made it from one generation to the next without an abundance of lube rubbers sex toys  and irrevocable Passion

church for kneelin prayin sermonisin an death 

motel for kneelin sweat an semen wet AwFuck!  an livin 

I donknow of any motels like that. 

Awright 

         Pull over in a secluded spot  Well makeout in the car like teenagers 

Yamember

I domember.

Told me I had the sweetest cock

You told me I had the sweetest pussy. 

                                        they burst out laughing  they hadnt had any others

they lost their virginity together

nothing possibly could cumpare

 

2358,  Monday,  1  2. 21

1203 or 0003,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  3  2. 21

Kinks  Lola  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGdqCtX4VCM 

 

  anile 

               he couldnt remember now how he  stumbled   upon the wordstubbed his toehad to look it up   adjective of or resembling a doddering old woman

he had to admit that anile sounded better than dotard  albeit it a noun  from dotage  meaning a state or period of senile anile decay  marked by a decline of mental acuity and alertness 

                                                                            Jesus   sounding trembling terriblyclose to  retard

not nice language  disparaging old people hed met some sharp cookies in his life and sending them spinning off after their dictionaries and Goddammit! What the hell!  if they can remember where they put it 

                                                                                          leaving them to defend themselves against a juvenile  Oh yeah?   Yeah   OH yeah?   Yeah  Oh Yeah.  YEAH     What are we talking about? 

Fuggitaboutit

 

weird the shit that entertained himthat cropped up in his beaker before bed it was that free-range organic aspect of him that kickedup its heels when he was tired

anile struck him out of the blue he usually liked out of the blue and fat in his lap he played with it like Silly Putty   There   he played with it up against annihilation   No not quite    howbout  anile elation 

                                                                                     annihilations of a sort

anile

senile

juvenile

agile

-ile  suffix

              suffix  prefix  are affixes   word parts attached to ends and beginnings of words  word bases – a word stripped to its simplest form 

                              getting afield here tired third kind of affix is infix whod thought inserting into a word or word base  s  cupsful   swear words  bet-yer-fuckin-ass

                                                                    wandering to bed

mebbe hed dream

                    he promised hed try dream of a moose of bones eating dirt and rocks that fell out through the spaces in his skull or a swimming manatee of bones   hed try all he had to do was visualise when he laid down in bed

 

Sonofabitch he woke  he didnt dream period pieceshe dreamt a period piece late nineteenth century a park and gardens fountains stone animals close a man with a top hat and stout wood cane accusing him of trying to seduce his wife

unwisely he said I dont try   And I did not

I think he murdered me

Or I may have killed him

I heard someone scream Murder! 

                                   an either I was walking away or something-less-than-me was walking away 

he supposed anile elation annihilation followed him in   

1927,  Thursday,  21  1. 21

1326, Twosday,  2  2. 21

Jesus Wha a mout 

                     itd been awhile since hed been was scoldeddressed downridden roughshod over  by a squirrel  and this was one salty squirrel

salty

his mother used to accuse him of using salty language when did she hangout with sailors You were educated better than that, you know better.  Yah yup  but like art once you learn the basics you experiment Hence Picassos Blue Period his Cubism Modernism  Abstracts 

                                 If you prefer we could call my language abstract

she harrumphed him 

                      salty and harrumphed in one conversation  made him wonder what he could chuck on top that to make a triple scoop  give him some time   his mother inspired him 

                                                                          sex  itd be sex   sex really pulled her chain

widhis father it was evident from the getgo race 

                                                   there was an article from the Smithsonian that threw coldwater on any argument once and for all  humankinds birthplace was Africa

he Xeroxed a couple dozen copies of it

on its naked reverse side he wrote letters to his father it was something he did when writing his parents so his arguments usually against their positions had proof or evidence confirmed on his letters reverse side

he thought he was clever

                           If yawanna rebut me make damn sure youve read the other side of my letter Im not talking off the top of my head

they typically thought he was because they did 

                                                   I donwanna read your opinions  Opinions aint fact

they and he had grown up under the tenacious Chicago Public School system 

hell he suffered corporal punishment until it was finally overruled when he was in fourth grade

if someone thought Chicago neighbourhoods were tough they wouldntve wanted to tangle with teachers in their classrooms 

             wasnt one spoiled child  wasnt one spared rod 

Joe. You really have to stop sending letters to your father with the mother-of-all-mankind-is-black article on its reverse side. He’s not humoured.

Im humoured 

               Im humoured inside out that he hasnt a leg to stand on for his prejudice

His father did him no favors regarding Negroes.

Hes not his father Hes not accountable to the sins of his father 

                                                                   Deuteronomy Twentyfour Sixteen  Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be put to death for his own sins.  Old Testament was mighty abrupt  Devarim  The fifth book of the Jewish Torah  Judaism preceded the Christian faith

Thought I didnt pay attention during my Communion classes  

Yahave no idea how many times I had to kneel on broomsticks for my perceived slights and indiscretions

The words are fuckin grievous but they certainly strike homemake my point He doesnt have to pick on niggersas he says because his upbringing afforded him better Hes never stopped a moment to walk in their shoes

 

the squirrel scolded him from a desperately leaning digger pine

digger pines leaned a longlong time before they finally fell over on their faces like drunken sailors

he didnt know how he crossed this little prick 

                                                but in the back of his mind  stopped  taking its umbrage  he thought itd be perfect if the pine fell over and the squirrel had to ride it down like Slim Pickens did as Major T. J. “King” Kong atop a nuclear bomb in Dr Strangelove           

one can only wish

 

he realised that the squirrels spite would outlast his patience without him knowing the reason why

                                                                                                         so he moseyed off letting the lil bugger celebrate its perceived victory and undiluted spleen

1432,  Sunday,  31  1. 21

1403,  Monday, 1  2. 21

Lovin’ Spoonful  Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txTEhgReZUA 

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-africa-became-the-cradle-of-humankind-108875040/ 

Major T. J. “King” Kong  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBvA1oKVruE