26.10.20

 

Gudgud comrade he said to the interrogator then neither of us fears death Too bad I wasnt bound before they brought me to you 
           that was their hubristheir cock-assuredness 

he hurled himself over the steelcase desk at the interrogators throat as he fumbled for the 9mm in the holster at his hip

a head smashed repeated on a concrete floor doesnt make much noiseat least not enough to betray someone 
                                                                                                                  betray him
he beat the back of the his head to a soppy pulp

turned him over

then beat his face so he was unrecognisable

nothing remained supported on bone 


the steel door was locked

there was no window

it was a basement cell 


it might be a dead draw

but armed now he may get more than one 
 
2240,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
1040,  Monday,  26  10. 20
Radik Tyulush  Oskus Urug “bring the beards”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jEBM-OkpLI

$226K -- Killed

We’re not going to control the pandemic. White House chief of staff Mark Meadows (who chaired the House Freedumb Caucus) conceded

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/white-house-we-re-not-going-get-control-pandemic-n1244740?cid=eml_mra_20201026

when he was pressed Meadows added Because it is a contagious virus.

Trump Virus has always been contagious

the Administrations failure was not immediately enforcing health protocols to help minimise it rather they threw up their hands and cried UNCLE cried herd mentality (yes he did) 

Like magic, it will go away.

1429,  Moanday,  26  10. 20

 

she was long and tall and leaned back against him as he held her in his arms as he leaned against the kitchen counter after they had prepared dinner together yapping  then placing it in the oven

he did the prepwork washed and sliced or diced or grated vegetables as she asked 

her bit was the witchy partthe melding and folding the subtle herbs or punch-ya-in-the-mouth spices  eye of newt  knee of worm  feather of phoenix

he didnt have or ever acquired her finesse 
                                             though the butchering hewing and knifework was right up his alley coarse but serving a necessary basic purpose

he then her 
              as fire is to smoke and scent


holding her against himthe warmth and weight of her body he nuzzled smelled her hair smelled the nape of her neck 
he inhaled deeply
                   My gawd

What?

Love you smell like a freshbathed newborn An aint a damn thing that smells better in the world

Stop.

No yado  Ya smell wonderful anya feel so good in my arms

I smell like a baby?

Yado

I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Shame on them  People dont know what they have until its gone an then they cant say  so their thoughts are utterly meaningless

Yamean so much to me

Thank you for being alive at the same time I am

You’re gonna make me cry.

Then cry
 
2055,  Monday,  5  10. 20
1519,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
Bobby Darin  The More I See You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo68uzYwb3c

25.10.20

 

the lyrics rang in his earshe smirked 
                                       Call me irresponsible  call me unreliable  throw in undependable too   whenever he heard politicians refer to America as Exceptional  refer to it as Indispensable 
                                                                                     Christso glib
he wished he could give their brain an enema 


he heard themsaw them asif he were encased in an enormous icecube irregular  lopsided its innards gone only a thin translucent shell eradiatedslowly melted by the yolkyellow sun hanging in a marvelousblue sky

inside looking out was like being under shallow water which softly quaked to the beat of his heart

the shell separated them 
                           but eventually hed emerge  an he worried ever-so-slightly for them when he did

he was muted now

emergent hed be brusquepossibly violent if they couldnt be reasonable couldnt admit fact over fiction couldnt admit they were wrong and accept their accountability  
                                               he would happily volunteer to enforce their consequences

333 or 1533,  Day-between-Two-Ts, D-Day,  6  6. 18
1123,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
Bobby Darin  Call Me Irresponsible  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgsBPvLqNpE 

 
polysemy
         he caught his breathe

he knew the word 
                       the coexistence of many possible meanings to a word or phrase

but what it triggered and he couldnt shake out of his head was polyseamy 


Christ, get your mind out of the gutter.

Cant Was spawned in a gutter

You wer . .
. . I was  Yaknow this 
                         My mother was culled knocked aroundshoved down and gangraped on a brickpaved street patchworked with asphalt  at the mouth of an alleyway

Shes taken me thereits probably not occurred to her  anmore often than she might care to admit 

Yad think only a criminal might return to the scene of the crime 

Obviously she cant help herself 


She has regrets 


Im one of them

Her family warned her about going out on her own but she was headstrong  

Being headstrong is probably what saved my life She had to come to terms with her family forcing me on her If Gods Will was having a bastard Gods Will was better than her aborting me 

Gods will Wha horseshit  Gods will 
                                        I was Gods swill my mother had to quaff I was a bellyache that she couldnt take anything for and had to suffer If she had her way Id ve been aborted an burnedup in the incinerator out behind the house 

As a boy it was my job to take the garbage out and burn it When the ash cooled I scattered it in the cinder alley

After I learned about meoverhead it  adults talking  drunk  too loud   After I learned I couldnt help but think of it every time I burned garbage 

Whas funny funny   such a stupid mother but such a bright woman If only she could have shaken her family They were going to have me She became some kind of religious vessel Wasnt a Virgin Mary I was no Christ child Who can delude themselves with marvelous inanity and force it on someone they say they love

 

It was when I realised what surrounded me that I ran away

I wanted to take her with me but her infection was too deepseated 


Yaknow this
  
sometime in September, 2020
1054,  Sunday,  25  10. 20
The Mills Brothers  You Always Hurt the One You Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThZgBY3s4Xg

24.10.20

 

she had startled him 



standing on the bluff above the beach he looked down expecting its golden sand but instead saw that the whole of it was covered up asif cloaked in a quilt rectangular panels cornflower blue pale yellow and dappled with white asterisks 
            a theme  yet none of them alike

they followed the beach down to the water and went under the slush of the surf broken by a natural coral breakwater that mothered a broad emeraldblue lagoon

he doubledback down the bluff picking his way through sticky shrubs to take a worked path at its base which opened onto the beach

entering a cleaved coralblock bathhouse to change into his swimsuit he pulled aside a halfopened curtain hanging in the mouth of a stall and interrupted a woman who stood concealed to the side wrapped in a terrycloth robe 

she had a high intelligent brow short curly blonde hair that kept to her head like a cap almondshaped green eyes supple mouth which naturally hued towards a bustedcherry colour and a jaw that looked like it could take a punch 

she didnt startle
                she startled himhe certainly hadnt expected anyone to be inside or not protest his sudden intrusion 

she pursed her lipsremained silent then with an intense countenance that brightened the stall she frankly unclothed pulled the robe open with her small handsshrugged it from her shoulders and let it fall to her feet 
                                                                                                       and in that instant her bisquecoloured bodythe honeycoloured robe  she looked asif she was thoughtfully carved from old ivory fashioned from fine sand 


she held his eyes with hers 
                              and because she assumed her pose a cool unruffled demeanor he challenged her he let his gaze wander and was pleasantly astonished by her hairlessness the quiet fuzz on a peach  she was exquisitely proportionately rounded though did not break five feet not at all  then tantalisingly she dipped her shoulder and turned and turnedturning an entire threehundredsixty degrees then facing him again she parted her feet shoulder width her arms relaxed at her sides 
                             It appears, friend, you like what you see.

when he went to speak he croaked his voice hadnt caught up to him 

a smile broke across her face

she pleased herself    

he wrestled his voice clearing it finally 
                                         I do Yes   I do
My gratitude to your parents

My parents? a not-uncomfortable expression stirred her face rose into her eyes My parents?

Yes Dont you think 
                     Your attributes genetics   appealing

she stepped back over her robe and sat on a cantilevered woodslat bench supported on chains creeping with verdigris

she crossed her legs demurely rested her hands at her thighs

she sat erect

My parents? she was bemused 
                                       Yes. I see.

he stood at the stalls threshold

the ball was in her court 


while she worked on whatever it was that moved behind her eyes he admired her  relished this unexpectedness
scarcely worried it


she was working at it hard presentyet absent 

he quietedcleared his throat 
                               Im Joe  Since were familiar now

Familiar seemed to connect or at least humour her

Joe.


Yes A common Joe

Joe. Do you really think this is common?

Common is relativeis ones experience Think what you may   This is common

now the smile that crossed her face was predatory 
                                                     her mouth opened slightly  her tongue ticked her canine

Joe. What name would you give me?
                                       her question barely escaped her mouthSeafoam

he could see the word work in her mouth unsaid  again and again 
                                                                         finally  Seafoam.
Yes

And why?

Because youre not here

I her hands went to her breastsshe cupped them  I am not here.

No Youre not here 


Joe. If I’m not here, where am I?

he put an indexfinger like a barrel of a gun to his temple  Here

 

he ate several psilocybin in the parking lot before descending to the beach for a long quiet swim sunbathing  ruminating pen and pad should something shake out 
it was recommended to him

he won a Kewpie Doll for his girlfriend that she didnt want at a street carnival in Santa Cruz earlier that year
                                                                                                                  he told her he won either a Kewpie Doll or a Kewpie Doll

she left it in his car 

he named her Rosie OKneel bent her legs at the hips and sat her naked on the dash his windshield was cracked by a fallen branchdislocated by an excellent wind and rain he told Rosie to watch it so it didnt so it didnt crack furthur 
it hadnt


Seafoam. I like it.

It suits you 
             An I imagine when you leave me youll simmer away as seafoam does

We have time. Come in and change and we’ll go down to the water.


it was her turn to admire 

he wasnt going to turn in circles

the male form is rude compared to a females 
                                               hard angles versus rounds and curves
 
earlier AM,  Reggae Friday,  23  10. 20
1134,  Saturday,  24  10. 20
Everly Brothers  All I Have To Do Is Dream  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8
The Seekers  I’ll Never Find Another You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZf41UudAbI

23.10.20

$225K -- Killed


Billy Preston sings The Presidents song 
                                            Will It Go Around in Circles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_e-RQZVwxg  sssh  privately hed confess to prefer The Ikettes rendition https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtbXaV41s5g

All (Biden) wants to talks about is covid, covid, covid, because they want to scare people . . . we’re rounding the turn, we’re rounding the corner; we’re rounding the corner beautifully.

2342,  Friday,  23  10. 20

 

mens so-very-fragile masculinity
                                        kinda like  beauty is skin deep
masculinity is kinda shallow
aint kinda

             it is

it humoured him to hear men wrestle with theirs  allowing prescriptions advertisements others to define it

he had a very simple perception

he was a man
                therefore anything he did  anything he wore  was masculine

he didnt take his lead from other men

because that would make him a follower

if other men didnt like him

no skin off his ass

they didnt impressed him

 

one either makes their own way or they can get in line

1050,  Reggae Friday,  23  10. 20

Muddy Waters  Mannish Boy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfqNEvykv0




it was queer

he didnt know which would be more appropriate

to assume or say that novel coronavirus played into his hands or he played into its

social commentary was that people forced to quarantine stay indoors stay separate of others not enjoy restaurants or bars or public gatherings exceeding ten wearing masks was somehow difficult and that they were becoming despondent angry and willing to disregard defy health protocols and medical science

for him it was a innate coin toss

wake in the morning and flip

heads extroverted

tails introverted

frankly didnt matter to him

he was a mild introvert who could tolerate when necessity demanded that he be extrovert

those casual causal roles he played reminded him of his mollusc pliant abilities
                                                                                   frankly he reminded himself of the slug who emerged in the moonlight and wound a crisscrossing trail  meandered on the freshly tarred drive and left this morning an artful fine etching in slickedsilver of how it spent its night and slipped away beneath the bushes before the sun rose
          a beautiful cursive somethingqueer it seemed to him that while a slug or snail practised a rudimentary writing children werent  they fingered keyboards if they were fortunate used crabbed hand which is to be their expression  their mark 

fuck it just make an X in blood 
                                  technology will ID their DNA and confirm who they are or perhaps their identity will be informed by implanted chips 


he was happy to associate himself with a fledgling mollusc 
                                                              elastic  adaptable

novel coronavirus placed no hardships on him

he could and had always entertained himself

what did that say about others who couldnt

he wouldnt say

though deficient tickled his tongue unimaginative turned on his tongue 
                                                                           maybe because for too long technology has informed and supplanted peoples perceptions  they chose to play programmers games played programmers imaginations  the muscles of their own imagination have grown weak  atrophied  it didnt seem to be worth the effort  and people are prone to take the easy way out

the school of hard knocks had become a criminal venture rather than the adventure of taking no ones wordtrusting no one and studying determining finding out for oneself
unearthing evidence to support the truth

 

it  was   queer 
                   seems the life he led was practise for novel coronavirus 

perhaps lonesome

but not alone

 

1851,  Sunday,  18  10. 20
1551,  Thursday,  22  10. 20
Cream  Tales of Brave Ulysses  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CCfxiQ5QY 

22.10.20


ON THE ROCKS

he scribbled it in black ink at the top of a pagecircling it the rest of the page was written in red ink 
                                                                                                        bits about javelins and boomerangs school of hard knocks thickcut pepperoni veggies and somebodys telephone number  he wrote the number but not their name
he wasnt curious either
                           weird shit always ended up on his pages

here  randomly  another page 

vascularity 
fistula
frank and beans 
                     he disregarded the franks because he found Bush’s Sweet Heat beans  
but he digressed

 

ON THE ROCKS
                   what was he talking about
where was Sherlock Holmes when you needed him 
wheres a cop when you really needed one

after his last couple run-ins with the police 

he wouldnt . . really need one

were cops getting dumber 
                            or maybe everyone was getting dumber

he struggled through grade school

he was convinced he didnt want to go to college

his folks werent having that

to shut their mouths he took a few classes and they all but confirmed in Aces that he didnt want anymore school

it and he had been a bad fit like a bad marriage held onto for the sake of the children

things that meant the most to him scholastically educationally he didnt learn in school and it seemed to him and he liberally shared it with anyone who asked school was like being pithed lobotomised blinkered 
                                                                                                     but when education and he  he realised  were in confluent  he smoked the instructor and then found himself dawdling in the principals or deans office accused of disrupting class

funny he always thought anyoneeven an educator continued to learn his education suggested not not given all the times he was reprimanded

he didnt shine often 
                      but when the game crossed into his field of play he played unrelentingly

he figured everyone had their playing fields playgrounds  grounded to the max and could be a bit of a prick about it

he listened to pricks if they knew what they were talking about

unfortunately most pricks didnt

fortunately he rarely met a prick who was a girl or woman

women had more going for them than being pricks so he naturally gravitated to their company 
                                                                                                     naturally

 

ON THE ROCKS 

                       too bad he couldnt recall what he meant  or what might be
 
apparently Monday,  19  10. 20
1234,  Thursday,  22  10. 20

 
he was twisting up a second joint 
                                     she was already blathering off the first                   

the grass was the shit and he rolled it fathitting his stride again like riding a bicycle

Youah youah really wanna hit a second

Fuck.  Yah.  in a thick Texas drawlthough she wasnt from Texas or had ever been

Awright I get it  Yawanna take the cow over the moon

The moon . . the moooo na

Hey Diddle Diddle

Cat. And the fiddle.  See? I ain’t too stoned.

Cant ever be too stoned  Aint like youll OD youll just drift with the tide an slide into sleep

I aint drifting anywhere . . .

You are

Whatcha talkin bout Willis?

Really Lets leave Diffrent Strokes to other folks

Maay be.

behind them played Electric Ladyland  theyd keep to Hendrix  he just changed out Are You Experienced 

he knew shed liked his records

 

Say we give it twentyminutes halfhour

Why?

Because were talkin  ya start in on something  anya go away from it   Then ya start something else

I’mm a . . thinking.

Bout which thought

Huh?

Yasaid you were thinking  I asked which  which were you thinking about  Thatthat ya started an fizzled out  or whatcha started new

 

That’s how I think when I'm high.

I follow I gotcha

Acc tually  I have two thoughtstwo kinds.


Im listening

Two.

Yasaid  An the little dog laughed

Huh?

To see such fun

Dog?

An the dish ran away with the spoon

Oooh. Yah.  I gotcha, the cat and the fiddle.

Hey Diddle Diddle 
                     Two thoughts  asya said 
Huh?

Yasaid two thoughtya have two thoughts

Ohyahright. Two.

Yasaid

Yes. I’ll elaborate . . this is some really good weed.

Thank you I save it for special occasions

Am I a special occasion?

You know you are

she wrinkled her nose she and her sister had the same kind of nosetheir mothers nose lucky girls to sidestep his beak

Thought I might be.

You are Fill me in on your thoughts

Yeesss ss. he didnt think it was a Texas snake

And

And . . two . thoughts. 
                         One's a javelin . . the other’s a boomerang.
Ah . . 
. . Yasee, doncha?

I do

The javelin’s gone, hurled it, it disappears into the sky. But, maybe, yah, no, yah, eventually, the boomerang comes back to me.

he tucked the second joint a real fattie into his shirt pocket

he stood up

sitting on the couch she weaved trying to stand up with him

Easy girl

Youah . . going somewhere?

Gimme a moment  I thought Id go look for one of your javelins while you wait here for a boomerang to return

Aww, Dad . . . you’re funny!

1241,  Monday,  19  10. 20
0012 or 1212, Thursday,  22  10. 20
The Dramatics  Whatcha See is Whatcha Get  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgG6SU8L-dI

21.10.20

 

 

she called  she was upset

 

when she was upset she called him 
                                       he wasnt inconvenienced despite not fond of talking on the telephone and he was . . honored frankly . that she reached out to him before she called anyone else

hed missed some of her callsthe message machine capturing her and when hereturned and recognised the catch in her voice he called her  they usually spoke over the recording before it ended

Hey sweetheart

Dad . . .

 

they went right at her upset

no punches pulled

no quarters given

their conversations were the most emotional and honest he ever had
                                                                        he felt bad for those parents whose children didnt or couldnt confide in them

he didnt think their relationship was extraordinary
                                                      though too often he was told it was

 

once the meat was gnawed off the boneno matter how long it took they rallied with goodnatured advents during the time since they last spoke

they usually began bittersweet then ran the gamut of humourous hysterical to the absurd  they shared a perverse sense of humour being her father he tainted what could have been a gentile demur  he tainted her sister too 
but he didnt like women who were reserved  he loved his daughters   so they were doomed

 

she worked in Human Resources

he teased Inhuman Resources when talking with people and they asked what his daughter did

she explained as she vetted individuals that consistently she had to pry particulars out of them that they failed to reveal them on their resumes  I’m telling you, Dad, spotty, terrible resumes.

For example babe

Yes. Thank you. For example, I was talking with a young man and I pointed out to him that on his resume he didnt address his education, he wrote nothing down regarding it.

Thats high unusual then he caught himself   It is highly unusual correct

Let me say this, Dad, I’ve received submissions that under education they've written School of Hard Knocks. 


They

Several resumes, Dad.

Thats unfortunate 
                          then he barkedhowled sputtering unfortunate    she joined him

1207,  Monday,  19  10. 20
1127,  Twosday,  20  10. 20
The Kinks  Who’ll Be the Next In Line  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7lhMDrxEZU