pissChrist
the moniker formed up nicely in his skull Michelangelo may have had his hand
in it as he soaked in a hot bath with Epsom salt listening
to Miles Davis A Tribute to Jack Johnson
his brother found it yuck yuck yuck
and thought to send it to him Yuck
Yuck Yuck an old metalworked curlicue
crucifix that their mother had squirreled away before she died apparently one
of more than twenty
his father was clueless
but
arent husbands when Mamaws rule the roost
his brother YUCK YUCK YUCKed
all the way to the post office to mail the crucifix YUCKed
mailing it to his atheist older brother
Whadafuck he thought as he took a package out of the postbox
he was expecting a book
delivery when he found it in the mailbox he thought the book would be heavier then he got pissed that maybe the book was in
paperback and printed in a miniscule font that hed have to read with a
magnifying glass Onethousandanone
pages OhFuck me
taking it into the house he slipped
a knife insliced the package open
Hmmnope
not the book he
was relieved he had no idea what it was
it was wrapped in packing paper
peeling away the packaging he
noticed his brothers return address he didnt
recognise his brothers handwriting his brother hadnt written in
more than ten years
he wrotehe wrote his parents and
siblings
they rarely wrote back Too busy!
Nah Crap Too fuckin lazy particularly when
he told them he wouldnt be offended if they replied with a postcard
a simple postcard Hi! Wishing you were here. nobody wished he was there he was the proverbial fly in the ointment as family they shared were disagreements
when one said something he disagreed
with he was immediately in their face
his Maw would say he was being
rude not exhibiting good manners hed been brought up better than that he loved that one
Excuse
me Maw this is your motley crew You give
em marching orders and theyre too thick not to push back
I’m their mot . .
. . Youre my mother
Donmake a bit
of difference to me Were adults an Ill
be damned if you think you can walk all over me because youre my mother I don play that game No No Mother May I
inside the packing paper was a
nondescript deepred shallow cardboard box inside it was the crucifix
he called his old mans number his kidbrother had been staying with his dad
since his Maw died
his kidbrother answered Whadaya want? he was very
humoured
I wanna talk to you
About?
Youre fuckin hilarious Whadaya think
Is it bigger or smaller than a breadbox? Haw
hawhawhaw
You know exactly how big it is
It’s funny, huh?
Hilarious
I was damn near cryin’, I laughed so hard at the post office window that the clerk almost offered me a Kleenex to wipe my
eyes but I held up my handkerchief. She said It’s pretty funny, huh? I told her
it was a scream. She started laughing. It’s nice to laugh when you don’t know what
you’re laughing about.
It is Thank you I suppose
Where are you hanging it?
Im not hanging it
Maw had better than twenty; hell,
I took one, I hung it.
Im not hanging it
I got an idea.
Yah
Yeah. My stolen painting . . .
when he left Chicago to drive to Montana he took a painting his kidbrother
did a piece of 15x15 plywood he nailed slats to its edges to configure a
frame about it the slats were from a
partition wall they took down to enlarge their bedroom so they could quit
sharing a queen bed the painting was on
an orange field an oval outlined in a muddiedweave
of gold and deepred the oval was a
mottled drab deepgreen if he were polite if he were in mixed company he might have called
it an olive if he were rather he called it an asshole . . . My
stolen painting, that your brotherinlaw complains about when he uses the head .
.
.
. That he sees his brothers assholes
Yes.
What of it
Hang the crucifix there, give him
a break from his brothers’ assholes.
they both burst out laughing
Whichah which ah do you think hell prefer
since hes an atheist tooWrong hes
agonistic fuckin alwaysalways hedging his
bets no absolutes
You say he’s a bit of a homophobe
too?
Yah Homophobe
but girl on girl is just fine and dandy
Yeah, it’s fine and dandy, it’s like
candy.
Better
Aw, you’ve always been keen on
that.
Have Was introduced to it when my mind was
malleable
Your mind’s never been malleable.
That’s why you’re a muthafucker.
Thank you but for an itsy bitsy bit I was
Whadathink I think hell prefer
the asshole to the pissChrist
PissChrist?
Yah takin a pissthere he is Though have you noticed his head leans is turned
right If Maw had one where hes looking
straight ahead and down watchinim piss Oh Brother would have knocked it out of the
park
I believe all crucifixes and
icons have Christ’s head turned right.
Too bad I would have thought at this late date
someone would have turned it left For cryinoutloud its the Twentyfirst Century
I hear you.
Innarested in makin a dream come true
No.
I agree. He’ll prefer the asshole.
Great choiceshuh pissChrist or asshole
1259, Day-between-Two-Ts, 12 8.
20
1309, Reggae Friday, 14 8.
20
