26.4.20

55,383 (as of 1650, Sunday, 26 4. 20)


he was listening again to yet another commentator on television assail the president correctly  it was ad nauseum ad nauseum the clown had made him nauseous even before he descended on an escalator to address a bribed gathering who chanted his name chanted chanted enchanting  he loves his name chanted he loves adulation he thinks hes the king of the kingdom
                 delusion hadnt hurt him in the past Daddy always picked him up and wiped his nose and told him what a grand boy he was never raised a hand to him a hand was never raised to him he never had to prove his mettle among men with his fists because there were people who did that for him he was too prettyhe was too protectedtoo bundled in a roll of banknotes
                                 yah a regular fuckin kingpin without a scar to prove his cred 


he listened to the commentator yammer and bluster the man had been within arms length of the clowns orange wig  and he would have thought for the animosity the commentator obviously endured that he would have stepped forward offered his hand as his brother did once years ago when they were kidswhen they were outnumbered four – to – two

he saw it coming the fake handshake the feign  and as the kid extended his hand to take his whining brothers his brother suddenly snatched his wrist with his left and brought a wicked uppercut from his belt to the tip of the kids chin  c o l d c o c k e d  the fuck didnt even feel the back of his skull slap on the concrete street and the suddennessthe unexpectedness of it though he saw it comingsaw it coming because he knew his brother was crazy  wrenched the situation from their advantage  took it out of their hands

hed positioned himself to catch the guy standing beside him with an elbow to the temple

it was as easy as 1 – 2
                          and with the ferocity of the attackits suddenness now an even playing field with crazies the remaining two bolted
                     Buhbye baby Bye bye

his brother picked up their baseball bat from the side of the street and smashed the taillights of the c o l d c o c k e d cocks car

they walked away

they left the car running

stealing the car would have been a road -- too – far



listening to the commentator recalling his proximity to the president all he could think was that the commentator could have busted his lip and let loose-lipsprobably for the first time ever since he fell off his bicycle and had it shot that he would have tasted his own blood

the president who had no clue how many Americans had died of coronavirus – that was the question that should have been asked every time he took the podium – the president dispersed bright shiny objects to the media to keep it offbalance  

they shouldve been 

its nothing more that countermeasure  militaristic  

if the militarys brute force has civilian implications countermeasures flares and chaff bright shiny objects obfuscate and distract
            Look hereLook here! NO  Over thereOver there!

the president isnt a genius

he isnt even a man

his neighbourhood would have eaten him up and spit him out inedible  besides   who wants a mouthful of shit            

bright shiny objects  flares and chaff  distractions  phony childs toy balloons  and somehow the media is intemperate  is unwilling to call Horseshit! get up and walk out of phony coronavirus pressers feeble MAGA rallies and walk every time the president evades legitimate health concerns and cant answer the question
Sir. How many Americans have died from coronavirus?

if theres a single thingone number he should be able to hold in his head and regurgitate or maybe not its pretty big its the direct result of his failed policiesof the Federal governments inaction when its Intelligence informed his administration in November A PANDEMIC
                                             he ought to be able to saywith confidence irrevocably  at last because States data streams to the Federal government HOW MANY AMERICANS HAVE DIED BECAUSE OF HIS MAGICAL--THINKING 


“I ALONE CAN FIX (THIS).”



horseshit
            bust him in the mouth it wouldnt hurt to try to bring him back to reality the taste of his own blood

1859,  Thursday,  23  4. 20
1636,  Sunday,  26  4. 20



gun sales handgun sales theyre running off the shelves Its a mad Mad MAD!! World  CrazyEddieMAD! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCGsqBn9pog but Eddie aint sellin TVs and Videos  Its guns baby guns Guns GUNS! The Greatest Sale EVER!!!


So whos buying

“Persons who purchase handguns have a 22-fold higher rate of firearm-related suicide within the first year than those who did not purchase a handgun.”

Suicides?  Really?
                    They really gotta throw a cold wet blanket on gun salesgotta play with The 2nd Amendmentgotta effect an attack against the pearlywhite NRA  


WellGosh  their families had his sympathies
                                               but it aint theirs to tell someone what they ought to do with their lives – their hands should be filled with concerns and fears of their own
                                                                    not to mention YET HES MENTIONING IT aint an easier way out  is there  handgun in the mouth pointed uptop of the head blown out brains lacerated smashed to indiscrete marl fertilizer in South Korea they hang themselves


hopefully those who opt suicide are choosing a place where their families wont have to discover themwont have to clean up after themtheir brains and blood out of carpets clothing hanging in closets shoes on the floor he knew of what he said

these deaths are now culledlabelled Deaths of despair

sounds like the name of an ambient music band


he would be remiss if he didnt remind readers
                                                 Thars murder in dem thar hills a handgun might seem to be the only recourse for a risk-taker a Have-not taking back from a Have



O the webs we weave

                         maybe he ought to quit stopping spider suicides  theyre master webweavers

1723,  Wednesday, 22  4. 20
1753.  Saturday,  25  4. 20

25.4.20



he knew she noticed

it was just a matter of timeof opportunityof  not waiting any longer
                                                                           an ache he needed to rub

they exchanged glances  nods   later smiles

he wasnt obvious

or he wasnt as obvious as his brotherinlaw 
                                               he wondered if his brotherinlaw ever had game

if he had something that might be called game he called charm

his mother said he could charm the peel off a banana

too bad she said so when he was within earshot at a family picnic

uncharacteristically she was sipping cold beers

it was a hot July day

MAW she looked up over her sweating can of beer at him  Not a peel  Panties

if she was mortified which was always his intent to her perhaps buzzed credit  she didnt show it she didnt drop her beer 

she turned to his aunt sitting beside her Charming. Didn’t I say charming.



he would have liked to have been obvious

but obvious only played for him when he was confrontational

otherwise he preferred discrete

as she was
             she wasnt overtly attractive her attractiveness brightened when she smiled a big white smile even teeth  a curl to her lips   carnivorous

she was thick muscular  athletic  later she admitted she loved weightlifting but had to segue into crossfit when she broke her footdidnt recognised she had  It only hurt.  when she finally submitted she discovered it was broken

How did you break it

I went off a curb wrong; thought I twisted it badly

Athletes do that  It only hurts. he liked she could admit it I like your honestythat you admit it

a sudden carnivorous grin if possible her grin was better than her smile  he really liked them both




I know you noticed

she smiled broadly  gleefully

Whadoes your thigh say I couldnt help but notice  Tatted words speak to me

Sky above me; Earth below me; Fire within me. he nodded as she spoke  They’re my elements.

You strike me as elemental

Ohgosh, thank you. That’s awfully nice of you to say, no one’s ever said that to me.

I can relate  Im Aries  Im . .
. . Fire!

he smiled broadly Yes  Fire


Im Aries too.

1500-ish, Friday,  24  4. 20
1134,  Saturday,  25  4. 20

BUY A HANDGUN!


this morning he was on his game

he was on his game was because whahappened two days earlier  when he wasnt

a spider almost committed suicide in his bathtub


he went to take a shower

leaning in to turn the water on he glancedhe thought it was twined fine hairs off his cats
    
suicide  whispered   appleseed
                                even as he turned on the spigotrushing it to HOT  the spider did not movedidnt retreat

when he pulled the knob to kick in the showerheadits spray striking the sidewallwater rushing down its acrylic face
thats the first he noticed motion in the fine matthe cat hairs
it wasnt
         they were a spider sweptsuddenly aside and down onto the tubs bellywashed towards the drain

pivoting on a heela mad 360motion on the linoleum at180 he snapped a length of toilet paper hanging loose from its holderfreed unraveled by his cats who either played with it in boredom or attending nuisance at 360facing into the tub again he slipped the toilet paper directly in front of the drain
                                                                 the spider got hungup on it like a fish in a net

he snatchedup the spider with the toilet paper keeping it flat so he didnt damage its fragile extremities  

he flopped the tenuous tissue the loongdrawn whisper of an arachnid on top the vanity cabinet

                                                                                                        and watched

watched to see if it survived the batteringthe surging bathwater 
                                                                   it was slight



he heard a sputter watched a leg grope forward



he took his shower


drying offstepping out of the shower he saw the sodden toilet paper was empty



spiders attempted suicide in his shower more often than he like to think
                                                                            appleseed tried three times


this spider looked like the one from a couple days earlier


eightlegged arachnids were keeping him up on his ten toes



NO not on his watchNope

                             he yelled into his bathroom  BUY A HANDGUN!

1033,  Friday,  24  4. 20
Vic Chesnutt  Wrong Piano  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoB_jjDUbTY

24.4.20



she sighed  and said You can take the boy out of Chicago, but you cant take Chicago out of the boy.


Is that what you thought you could do love


I don’t remember. The girls confused me. Our girls, yes.   The other girls . .


They werent other girls

I know . . I know.  But I thought there could be.

he started to step towards her

No. Stay where you are; stay put.  Please.

I thought there could be.

There could have been, you can answer me that. Honestly.


Have you ever known me to be dishonest


No. You’re not dishonest, you’re not a dishonest man, you’re principled, your ethical, you’re fearsomely honest and loyal.

And . .


And?

Yes   And


Yes.  I know.

You know

Yes.

Tell me  Tell me and Ill answer your questionhonestly  as you asked me
                                                                                Tell me

she dug her toe into the kitchen linoleum

he put his left hand on the cupboard and leaned on it disarming himself if she thought he might do violence against hershed thought that many times
                                    she asked many times  Why don’t you slap me,slap me silly, bring me to my senses?

he replied warmly he smiled  You have your senses  Those are them


I asked you to tell me  Please


You . .


Yes


You love me.

Yes

she wiped the tears that welled up in her eyes with the heels of her hands

Yes  I love you
                 And yes  yes  there could have been  There could have been if I wanted  Ripe for the picking


I was ripe for the picking.

Ohyes  you were
                    And I picked you As you picked me  We exchanged vows even if we hadnt

I didnt need to make vows

My vow was when I told you I loved you 

The rest was theatrics  theatrics to please other peopleyour parents my parents   fuckin community society

I conceded  because you insisted   you insisted you wanted it and  then   that was what I could give you

We didnt have a pot to pee in

she laughed  her hand to her mouth We didn’t.

No  I cant say that I was ever happier   You  you made me crazy happy

I am sorry for your pain


But its not pain Ive caused you

he took his hand down from the cabinet  and stood upright facing her

Try as I may  I cant help you with it


I have tried

You have; you have you  her voice broke hysterically  you have youhave  her hands went up before her face

he spread his arms to her  opened them wide

You shouldn’t have . .

I did

she choked on her tears  sobbed silent into her hands  spread open across her mouth


Maybe  maybe youd like a Made in Chicago hug
                                                   from a Made in Chicago boy
she sputtered in her hands

but the sputtering had a different sound  a relief   like the last of the air running out of a heavy toy balloon


he stepped towards her  You know my hugs are hard

Yes

she stepped towards him

No one has ever hugged me like you hug me.


No one has ever loved you like I love you


she stepped into his arms

he gently wrapped his arms around her  they grew six incheseight inches longer as he embraced herheld her  his nose pressed to her widows peak  inhaled her scent

No one has ever loved you like I love you

Yes


she struggling to catchto catch her breath


No one has ever loved you like I love you  Yes


she exhaled sharply  Yes.

Yes


Why would they?

My love
         Theyre fuckin idiots and arent worth a precious moment of your timeany time you lavish on them

If I was going to slap somebody silly  Id slap them into next week

she giggled like broken glass into his throat


he kissed her forehead  And now my love Im going to crush your ribs  he hugged her hardhe hoped he could crush all the bad air out of her lungs so when he released her she would inhale the odor of her cinnamon toast and breakfast tea his orange marmalade English muffin and black coffee  and that they would enter her and fill her lungs

goodness
               simple goodness breathed in


1250 & 2324,  Thursday,  23  4. 20
Crosby Stills Nash & Young  Our House  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKYjUn-SBcg


Millennials pretty much on par with Baby Boomers
                                                       they know when theyre being shit on now if only they were threatened by a Draft then theyd probably swing a hard-on in the governments face a stinking government housing different people but inhabiting the same mentality and focus and policies that told him Relax relax Just relax while it tried to fuck him in the ass whether when he refused to step forward at the Draft Board or was on the streets demonstrating against Nam
                              he still had three cop hats on the shelf in his closest his pride and joy is the pale blue helmet he yanked off a Chicago cops head who was beating him with a police stick it couldntve played out well for the cop a longhaired freak appropriating his equipment that was Grant Park '68 it still brings tears to his eyes reminds him of his healed welts and grateful his reoccurring tears werent caused by the chemicals in the tear gas


he did however have a gripe with his familial millennials 


they knew he was full of shit


yet they also knew better than try to malign his memory of music and films  hell art for that matter

his niece asked him What film was “squeal like a pig” from?

Deliverance

No. No it wasn’t.

Deliverance Ned Beatty Burt Reynolds

No, no, no. That’s not it.

she began fingering her cellfone they all didall millennials gotta know immediately
NO
     What film do you think

Definitely Deer Hunter.

Deer Hunter With DeNiro Walken directed by Michael Cimino Academy Award Best Filmfuckin Meryl Streep about Vietnam

Definitely.

Go to the kitchen and grab your cousins Maybe collectively theyll or at least by odds there will be a brain in there  and bring them out

Okay, Uncle Joe. You’re just going to embarrass yourself.

Wouldnt be the first time baby

she went in and in a heartbeat returned with five of them  four nephews and a niece

Okay girlie  Ask them

she turned to her cousins  The old man’s losing his mind. What was the name of the film that the line “squeal like a pig” was in?

they all burst out laughing
                             Ryan the junior of the groupthe smartest of the group asked What did Uncle Joe say?

Nope he cut his niece off Yadont get that Answer the question

five voices chimed Deer Hunter

he rolled his eyes  Im fucked Im absolutely fucked  Youre the millennials who are supposed to comfort me in my old age Im fucked

the six went after their cellfones

he figured they figured one of them couldnt wait to be the first to laugh in his face

six faces screwed up as they looked down into their fones

Survey says he taunted

in the dull quietin the blue or yellow light from their fones washing their faces Ryan finally asked his sister What did Uncle Joe say?

He said what are fones are telling us.

Yah  Better you believe your fones than me  At least for this one  Im sure youll get me some other time

I recall perfectly because a couple of friends and I were making a canoe trip the week following the release of Deliverance 

Hell we even determined who among us could squeal the best Always alwaysalways a competition among guyswho can piss the furthest First place was agreed Actually it was unanimously But probably no one was thinking except me perhaps But first place earned the right to take it in the ass for the team  

Hilarious


Although not as hilariousyoull excuse my humoured bluntness  not as hilarious as you sorry motherfuckers thinking it was from Deer Hunter  Christ

I love yahs
Thursday evening,  12  12. 19
1602,  Thursday,  23  4. 20
Widespread Panic  Tall Boy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtUVn9CafyY