American

she smiled sweetly pushed her honeyblonde hair out of her eyes 

he really liked her freckles 

they met in a bar introduced by mutual friends who didnt see that fireworks might erupt between them

they surprised themselves

when she mentioned her place was in walking distance he asked if he could walk her home

You’d like to walk me home?

Yah I would I wished you had school books for me to carry Thats probably the last time I walked a girl home

You carried their schoolbooks?

What can I say Im a gentleman 

Did you think something might happen when you got them home?

No I just wanted to spend some time with them outside of school away from other kids Get to know them better

That was plenty

Altruistic?

Selfless Hell no I was interested in them And I hope I inspired some interest in them for me A long shot

A long shot. How do you mean?

I wasnt part of the in-crowd I didnt hang out with people who knew people who knew people Wasnt part of the social fabric

You don’t seem part of the social fabric now.

Im not You are I think you upset a few people letting me walk you home tonight

They weren’t going to walk me home tonight.

Theyd give you a lift

I didn’t want a lift.

Too bad Ive been aching to pick you up

Aching?

Yah I think under your clothingunder the pretty colours the fabric under your feminine is a fit body a hard body Youll weigh a stone

Probably some other time.

Id like  some other time

she smiled beautifullythen laughed she didnt cover her mouth

This is me. she said when they arrived Would you like to come in for a nightcap before heading home?

Id like that please Id like that very much

I thought you might.

Dont be reading my mind Hard to be spontaneous if youre parked beside me on the curb listening

You say the strangest things.

I get that frequently But I think whats going on is people are trying to say what other people want to hear Frankly I dont care If I gotta endure my thoughts Ill be damned if Im going to endure them alone Im taking you with me

You’re taking me? she flipped her hair onto one shoulder exposing her long neck

Whoa beautiful  Lets not put the cart before the horse A great idiom

Idiom. That could be a wet blanket smothering a fire.

Maybe if you didnt know what an idiom is

It’s a condom, right?

Yah Stuffed with your id Cums in different colours For men and women

she smiled again

Thats a wicked smile Ya got a wolf or big cat in you

she ran her tongue across her tongue

Youre not gonna say All the better to eat you with

No. I don’t think you’d mind being eaten.

No Ha  Were swerving all over the road All over Not to say that I dont like the road or the neighbourhoods were finding ourselves in Wha we drinking

You like to play games?

I wouldnt mind playing games with you Whacha got in mind

he followed her into the kitchen she opened the refrigerator door and leaned in from the waist

Christ he said to himself what an ass

A game.  I have beer. her voice was muffled she didnt turn to address him Dark beer.

A woman after my own heart Although something tells me we both knew that before we left the bar

Thank you. I appreciate the compliment. her head still in the refrigerator

Youre welcome An you neednt hurry on my account

Im looking for something to eat. You wouldn’t mind a bite of something, would you?

Youre killing me I could eat something

I didn’t catch that, you could eat something?

I could definitely eat something

I have cheese. A salami.

Finger food Easy 

she emerged with a bomber of Woot Stout Swiss a salami she kicked the frig door shut with her heel and stood upright with the food and beer in her arms You said you like games.

There you are I was missing your face I said I wouldnt mind playing games with you Which isnt the same thing as I like to play games  

Whadya have in mind

Let’s sit at the kitchen table.

she set the beer down Could you open it, please? The drawer, left of the sink.

Happy to

she took a knife from a butchers block beside the stove

I like your gas range I wish I had one My rentals electric Lacks passion

You like fire?

I like fire to sparks or glowing

A man after my own heart.

he almost gulped And the game

Free association.

Youre not a shrink right We havent talked about employment an Id rather not I prefer talking about you an how you are an what turns you on Art  Books Interests Not jobs

You’re not a bit interested how I make my money?

No

No?

No

Why is that?

How you make your money isnt who you are Im interested in you Flesh and blood Im interested in what makes your heart beat

What if I said my job makes my heart beat?

Id say you were fortunate One of the Few Mebbe one of the Proud A Marine Im not keen on soldiers Im not keen on taking orders

Possibly a gamechanger.

Possibly But you were talking about a game Free association

Yes. 

he opened the beer and poured it into glasses she kept in the freezer she sliced the cheese and salami and laid them on a ceramic platter the platter was colourful looked Mexican

The game

Yes, the gam . . 

. . Toast first

Toast?

Yes Well never have this moment again Our first drink together in your home 

You a romantic?

I am An I hope that charms the pants off you Not to worry though Ill be happy to pick them up for ya Toast

I’m not good at toasts.

Say what comes into your mind Epic tends to be common

she held up her glass to his I’m not good at this.

Free association You laid the groundworks

I’m really very happy you offered to walk me home.

Im happy you said yes

To happiness!

And you said you werent any good at this Yes To happiness

they sipped the Woot

Woo damn  this is fortified You been saving this

I was. I thought when I bought it I was looking forward to who I might share it with.

Lil ol me 

          I dont think you saw me coming

I didn’t. I glad I held onto it.

Me too

he took a slab of salami off the platter and holding it between his fingers he said  I noticed you sliced big Committed

Thank you. I don’t like slivers, I don’t like dainty.

Mouthfuls to sips

Mouthfuls to sips.

Free association Timelyhuh

she smiled again

You have dimples Im jealous I dont

she smiled larger

Rubbin it inhuh

I can’t help myself, you’re making me smile.

Thats a good thingyoure enjoying yourself

I am.

I am too Thank you Im happy ya let me walk you home  Very unexpected

Unexpected. You like things unexpectednot a surprise . . rather, simply, unexpected.

Yes A character traitI think My Maw always said it lend to my charm She always thought I was the most charming of her children She encouraged me An nobody wants to let their mother down

A Momma’s boy? I don’t think so.

No 

    Charming

Youre making me restless antsy for more reason than one Lets try your game

Okay. I'll go first, you associate.

Okay

Okay. Coronavirus.

Old news

Come on, play the game with me, and you can’t say nineteeneighteen or polio.

Are you making the rules up as we go along

Maybe. It also maybe in your interest to let me.

Okay  Ill concede  Anif I havent said  I like the way you think  

Thank you.  You’re ready?

                             You aren't balking?

I believe you know me better than that Youah want me to go big

Big?

Yah Big

Sure.

Again

Coronavirus.

Tuskegee

Tuskegee? 

You said big

Tuskegee. Untreated syphilis in black men?

Untreated Negroes

Negroes?

Were playing yah Tuskegee But why cull the sexes Title Two Civil Rights Jim Crow Lynchings Slavery Sent down river Jim Huck Inner cities ghettos slums Pick yourself up by your bootstraps Anif yaint got boots John Shaft  Jackie Brown   Pam Grier 

I need a breath

Go ahead

Nahwait

White supremacy

Now you can go

Awesome.  Free association.  I didn't expect an avalanche.

Not against your rules is it

she shook her head the overhead light picked up the quiet red highlights in her hair

Thank you Plenty to choose from

Oh yes.

Yes.

Tuskegee caught me off guard

Why

      Very American

1833,  Saturday,  18  4. 20

The Temptations  Get Ready  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV97roslmt0

Isaac Hayes  Shaft  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q429AOpL_ds

13

as he wrote the date and time on the page he stopped  he was arrested the 13th  13  12. the time was 12:13 or as he preferred 0013 hrs

there was a lot going on there and if he didnt acknowledge it he was sure something would be miffed

                                                                                                          like walking into a fist fight  three on one  and not doing anything about it hed have surprise on his side one would never see it coming and that one rocked with extreme prejudice and out of the game if the guy taking the beating wasnt beaten too badly  two – on – two  suddenly a fair fight  he couldnt walk away without violating his ethicshis sense of right

he wouldnt walk away either from these numbers  their confluence

funny curious numbers to randomly have noticedcaptured 

or they let him think he captured them

                                          and what really  is that   or are those

he saw them as mild comforts quiet accomplishments successes  victories

twelve

thirteen

one standing on the other 

1

1

1

1

1

1

1

1

1

1

1

1    12

1    13 

           a tall column of 1s can be toppled 

                                                or together puncturebreach his feeble confinement

our naturehis nature though he believes it is human nature believes we are clever

it could be the next time someone takes it upon themselves to capture corral 12 and 13 that they may amuse themselves at their captors expense drum up a lack of appreciation by their capture and they escape dismembered into a tower of stacked 1s and topple over the thoughtless the feebly built barricade remember: clever

12 and 13 were being kind to him he knew  that they were playing with him he didnt know   

0022  her legs churn shes asleep shes chasing bunnies hed tell her that in the morning

maybe recognising 22 he inadvertently built elastic walls around 12 and 13  theyre not tall enough to escape

he looked down into the well and at the bottom he sees them squatting 

they look up at him and smiled mischievous smiles

then 12 13 go subterranean they go underground remember: clever

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1

-1   -12

-1   -13

            a number line goes in both directions  it also has axes rays  vectors

he hadnt collected them or contained them

                                             despite his vigilancehis awareness

they are free again

0033  she wakes briefly she needs suction she needs to be boosted upher angle adjusted to breathe better he gets the pillows just so moves them back and forth and side to side Better? she smiles he doesnt see it because of her ventilator mask  he sees her smile in her eyes

capturing them is like capturing time   and holding it still

does he pursue his inmates

does he want to expend more resourcesmore energy

or rather should he laugh at himself for not being cleverfor being inept thinking he could hold them and theyre now fugitives

he would laugh

                 though he knew others who wouldntwho felt they were being made a foolmade the butt of a joke – by none other than themselves – and theyd doubleddown 3 follows 2 theyd tripleddown proclaiming I’ll show you. what they dont say is I’ll show you for showing me up twice before.

                                                                   shallow egos

13  13 encapsulates 12

                            he hadnt accused 13 of anything  he could accuse it of being odd

of being uneven

binary is cherished evenness  compounding   couplings

oddness offends not him

maybe oddness riles and raises insecurities riles creatures that need assurancesneed to be stroked acknowledged held up to be admired he did not

those who tripleddown send out a posse

it races out of town in pursuit of 13 and as they hurtled down main street theyre cheered and waved on

they are salutedacknowledged

                                 and directly behind the whipped upthe frenzied crowd the thundering horse hooves growing faint 13 stood unsuspected enthusiastically waving and cheering blending in when people are embarrassed they dont look aroundthey dont want to be recognisedthey dont want to be remembered  they want to be anonymous in the crowd 

they want to be able to say I wasn’t there. I wasn’t a part of it. No, that wasn’t me.

13 waved at and after the posse more enthusiastically than everyone else fervently  fanatically   freakishly

nobody wants to make eye-contact with the crazed

13 has the commoners to itself

when the posse returned the men when it returned emptyhanded they could have returned to devastation buildings razed  people taken prisoners exploited or destroyed or ransomed

13 didnt

it took what it needed left it remained stepsahead of any pursuits pursuits which eventually faltered chasing their ghosts  and failures 

13 is pitiless

all it had done was be

its being was odd 

it offended

things offensive are tried to be suppressed

overthrown

stamped out

               he supposed no one liked being shown up  bettered

13 didnt care or need to differentiate it knew what it was

he was pleased he caught a glimpse

                                         and a bit more pleased when it glimpsed back        

      

0013,  Friday the 13th,  December 2019

1401,  Saturday,  18  4. 20

Caamp  Feels Like Home  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHTvqUR_UN0

The End -- mercifully

Yaknow wha

What? What?

Ya really wanna hear

I’m sorry, sorry. I’m sorry I’m abrupt.

Are you okay

Yes.  Yes, I’m okay. I’m upset.  I’m frustrated, frustrated by circumstances.

By its  no  way  out

Yes.  Yes, I suppose.

Yaknow  sometimes people are waiting to be put out of their misery

                                                                        An when we help were wrong  Were criminals  murderers  when all we were trying to do only trying to do  is provide them what they asked 

To provide what we would give a suffering animal

When was it that people ascendedexceeded  the love an care an devotion we would provide a suffering animal  A pet

Its kindness not murder  Its something we never wanted

1627,  Friday,  17  4. 20

The Beatles  The End  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12R4FzIhdoQ

Petula Clark  The Windmills of Your Mind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcs_nH8SIZU

he watchedlistened to the comedian on the tube

                                                   didnt care for his schtick or shtick some say shtik Germans says stuck Polacks says sztuka the piece the thing  his bit  

but he didnt let his dismay  cat wasnt funny  or not his kind of funny  sideline him  he was fascinated by the performance of the stool behind the comedian  

                                                 whats with comedians and stools as a sidekick  holding a water bottle or a glass always thought to be booze  a mug believed to be coffee an ashtray holding a smouldering cigarette or maybejust maybe the stools sole purpose is as a bludgeon to protect them if theyre attacked if someone in the audience takes exception to their humour 

if someone at a comedy show takes exception they should never have entered

kinda like life

               take exception to it it aint funny Well ya shouldntve come in shouldve stayed where you were Life demands thick skin Thinskinned Aint gonna do well Sensitive Aint gonna do well  Move it along Cuz aint a damn thing funnier than life an the fuckups who inhabit it

yet  the stoolsmaybe theythe comedians believe stools are more stable if they have four legs not really three legs are better than four still comedians perform with four-legged stools but they aint street performers they perform on stage  Appearing Tonight on hardwood floors 

                                          he couldnt help but wonder if they were dragged outsidedragged their stools with em in the dirt on cobblestones on illmaintained pavement cracked and buckling a four-legged stool would wobblewould be unsteady  they might toss what they held 

not a three-legged stool

as he watched the not-funny comedian perform he thought of other comedians he saw  

four-legged

Ahwell if the cat had been funny it never would have occurred to him to watch the quiet inanimate stool behind him and wonder the thoughts he did

1103,  Thursday,  16  4. 20

1527,  Reggae Friday,  17  4. 20

The Beatles  Nowhere Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8scSwaKbE64        

              heels of a loaf of bread

                                         he didnt mindas a matter of fact he preferred heels

his grandchildren his daughtershis wife never touched them they let them remain until he ate them he couldnt count the times he caught them throwing the heels away still inside the plastic or cellophane and waxpapered sleeves

for which he had no patience Are you out of your fuckin mind

Joe. Your language. They’re chi . .

. . Their my children goddamn it an Ill be damned if theyre gonna waste food Why do you not see its waste the four of you are wasting foodthrowing it away Hell for that matter you even discourage them from eating leftovers

You eat the leftovers.

I eat leftovers because I enjoy them but also because if I didnt you an they would throw them away

I didn’t eat them when I was a girl. We prefer . .

. . Its not a matter of preference Its food

It’s food then, that you can eat.

the disagreement never abatedwas never solved

                                                    and when his grandchildren were flummoxed he was having a small sandwich coldcuts between heels What are you doing, Grampa, there’s fresh whole loaves of bread in the pantry; why aren’t you having a sandwich with slices of bread from them?  now older  and because they werent his children he curbed his tongue blandly he said Im having the sandwich I want

he still thought they were out of their fuckin minds but he wasnt who informed them or had to live with them

and now the smooth creamy peanut butter the oily organic peanut butter the almond cashew sunflower seed butters

he told his grandchildren that they better keep moving if they stood around too long or lollygagged theyd be turned into butter  smeared on wholegrain crackers and maybe  if they were really lucky on heels of bread

You’re teasing us.

Am I

      for that matter they couldnt take peanut butter or any nut butter sandwiches for school lunches because some kids had allergic reactionsviolent reactions to nuts

Youre freakin kiddin me he said to his daughter Thats why children take their own lunches to school

Dad, you never swapped your lunch for another kid’s lunch when you were in school?

Sure I did But if I knew I had a allergic reaction I wasnt so stupid to swap a lunch for a lunch that would make me sick How much pandering do children need  protection Wha because they havent sense enough or intelligence enough to know what will hurt them Who wipes their ass Who ties their shoelaces Kahrist

Dad.  The school’s . .

. . The schools liable The schools liable because a parent or parents havent informed their child suchansuch makes them sick

They’re only children, Dad.

I was You were Look Were both hereHowd that happen Yawanna tell me Keep the chaff with wheat No winnowing  Its fiber  fibers good for us

his daughter looked at him  concerned  slightly humour  she better not let condescension show  

Yaknow I cant believe I remember this It must have made an impression on me Matthew somechapterverse excuse me if I screw it up paraphrase it badly Fan winnowing fork in hand He will thoroughly purgeI really remembered that word purge its aggressive violent he will purge his crop he will gather his wheat and he will burn up his chaff with you want violence he will burn up his chaff with unquenchable fire

Unquenchable fire

I might suppose I ferreted and read all the steamy parts the sex and violent parts But I couldnt buy into it at all Pissed my parents offNo not parents  my Maw 

My point is an thank you for allowing me to labour as a child I was informed by my parentsyou were informed  I wouldnt knowingly put a gun in my mouth play Russian Roulette Wheres their sense of self an selfpreservation Animals have that An we animals have bigger brains than other animal species For the most part

he was tempted to bring Skippy Super Chunky peanut butter when he visited for a weekend but like a good ex-Catholic he defied his temptation

all his grandchildrens friends and he asked it was a point on contention all their friends wouldnt eat chucky peanut butter if it was the only peanut butter to be eaten they all wanted creamy peanut butter it wasnt that they preferred it they would only eat smooth peanut butter

                                               and none of the better than two dozen kids he canvassed much to his grandchildrens chagrin Stop, Grandpa, please stop. none of them had an allergy to peanuts none of them could imagine not eating peanut butter and the other butters

he hadnt a clue there were other butters 

seemed to him to be on par with licorice 

red licorice isnt licorice

black licorice is licorice

red licorice has no licorice in it

strawberry grape watermelon cherry chocolate licorice  arent licorice either

he heard a giggle behind him at the trash and recycle cans in the kitchen

he turned in his chair

it was his youngest grandchild a little girl 

she held a limp plastic bag weighted by sourdough heels over the trash

Yaint that cute lil one Throw it away an immediately afterwards youre following it head first

I’m teasing, Grandpa.

Im not

0700-ish,  Wednesday,  16  10. 19

1247,  Reggae Friday,  17  4. 20

Richard Hell and the Voidoids  I Belong to the Blank Generation  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL0gicJZKBs 

Matthew 3:12   

It’s a Good Life 

Twilight Zone

Rod Sterling

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBqTbiFGkmo

the Twilight Zone found a roost

                                 recognisedthen the petulant president a manchild more child than man a mewling  demanding  footstomping crybaby

1418,  Thursday,  16  4. 20

https://www.thenation.com/article/society/trump-philip-roth/

Gimme a C

entered the Bat Cave  mebbe they shouldnt have

Maw Earth is sickantired of being mauled  and pillaged   and raped   her children abused and murdered

I’ve had it, now they can have it. 

It’s all yours, people, run with it.

                                        Gimme a C!   Gimme an O!

1306,  Thursday,  16  4. 20

https://www.democracynow.org/2020/4/16/peter_daszak_coronavirus?utm_source=Democracy+Now%21&utm_campaign=5b85440b98-Daily_Digest_COPY_01&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_fa2346a853-5b85440b98-192501705

sociopath-in-chief

his girlfriend texted him  she was frightened  she suffers an autoimmune disease  ironically shes been taking plaquenil for years

she was frightened by his threats that was an innarestin perspective  threats  he wondered how the president would respond as a private citizen with a serious preesisting condition to a threat against his life  he knew Daddy kept him out of Nam five times  another Bush another Romney still hasnt produced the x-rays which would exonerate him  because he cant  he must miss Daddy  and Cohn an awful lot  she was frightened by his threatthe presidents threat the sociopath-in-chiefs threat to open the country  against her life

they lived in a Red district in California  they were Blue 

she worked for County

the County CAO is a real twist  James something-or-otherhe should know this  Maisy stuck in his head  Maisywho  James is casually letting slip  through the grapevine as it were  that he intends to reopen County for service when the president asks   James is a devotee  
                                       and James was also one of the first who went missing from the office when it was apparent coronavirus was going mainstream  he had outside business to attend

he texted her  : :  He can say what he likes  Newsom aint opening Californiahe aint budging  Hes laid out a six-point criteria that has to be met first  

We aint even close. 

The only thing the president is opening May1 is a tube of K-Y Jelly. I understand he has peculiar tastes

he texted her again immediately thereafter  : :  Dont put the cart before the horse, babe. Three Midwestern states: ND  NE  IA  their governors failed to issue Shelter-in-Place orders  they are Americas newest coronavirus hotspots  Pig factories involved, possibly threatening the food supply

We're a long way off from going anywhere

1914,  Wednesday,  15  4. 20  Once Upon a Time Tax Day

https://www.sfchronicle.com/politics/article/California-s-coronavirus-reopening-Gov-Gavin-15200205.php
Etta James  I’d Rather Go Blind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9sq3ME0JHQ         

WWE are essential

                     No  not you     WWE

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis believes so   Duh yet another quid pro quo

0038, Thursday,  16 4.20

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-rancid-case-of-quid-pro-quo-florida-governor-under-fire-for-declaring-wwe-essential-82101829539