What was that
he was shaving
he jerked what he didnt hearheard made him nick his throat
he didnt bother with the woundthe
blood Whawazat he set his razor down left of the hot water porcelain knob he stepped
into the hall What was that he calledhe knew his wife was in the livingroom
she didnt answer
Hey What was that
she still didnt answer
he went up the hallbled on the
runner over the hardwood floor
she was sitting on the sofa her back
to him
What was that baby
What did you do
she didnt acknowledge him
he walked left around the sofa
arm and stepping before the slender coffee table littered with empty Diet Pepsi
cans a circular tin tray of her medicinal brown vials and bottles he accused her What did you do
she raised her eyes to him asif he
were dreamed
they shined
he couldnt see inside them
he couldnt see inside her huge
brown eyes which turned people inside outmade them submit to her will
they didnt turn him
from the get-gotheir first date he
acknowledged her eyes You might be able
to make other people jump through hoops but I aint jumping If thats a gamebreaker say so
Im just being honest with you If
we have a second third other dates youll learn this about me Im honest to a fault
he couldnt see into her eyes
Nothing. she replied I haven’t done anything.
he wanted to call her a liarhe wanted
to ask her to swear it swear it on their childrens heads
she had never lied to him before
she never lied to him to save an
argumentdisagreement of which they had many which all couples had to contend with
he wouldnt have pulled back from
a disagreement either
she often told him that his
honesty verged on crueltyhe didnt spare her pain
That I should lie spare you the discomfort of being truthful
You could be gentler.
You could challenge me softer.
Im not challenging youwere in this
together When I ask you for your
thoughts theres nothing for you to be guarded against Say how you feelwhat you think Be honest
eventually she was honest forthcoming
she acted like he was going to punish her
he wondered about her upbringing
but her motherwho he would
trust was dead
he wouldnt trust her father any further
than he could throw him
her father had agendas
children arent raised by agendas his adult children didnt have to respect his
agendas but all his in-laws did
Fuck yer old man
That’s my father!
Youre an adult Hes your father in that you grew up in his
house Aint living there no moreare you
Respect runs two ways He doesnt respect you
He’s my father.
she never lied to him
You didnt do anything
I did not.
So Im hearing things
I don’t know what you heard; or thought
you heard.
I dont either But it was something
Maybe it was nothing; it was
nothing if you don’t know what you heard.
It was something
I didn’t hear what you heard, I didn’t
hear it.
You didnt
I did not.
leaving the hospital after a long
night a long morning a long afternoon the onset of another long night
after
she died
he understood she lied to him
0843, earlier, Twosday,
1 10. 19
1604, Saturday,
5 10. 19
