kiss n tell

hed been texting himself to keep track of the characters the things that snapped at his eyes like bolts of metal at magnets

he liked to think he saw more than most

though that was likely because he was a voyeur he tried to give himself a pass he exhibited voyeuristic tendencies dahell he did  he was a voyeur

he texted himself 

lost count of their number

how many had he

turning his fone Off then On again it revealed New Messages

Read

Yah

then the machine would go to the most recent

hed have to scroll through the body of his Inbox to find the others

he didnt share number with anyone other than his family and a few close friends

everyone else could hang

if he sounded rude

he wasnt  and he was 

he preferred to keep to himself

enjoyed his anonymity

some people crave attention

why

no clue

people were welcome to their pursuitswha turned their cranks

but that didnt mean that he had to be party to it 

Youre on your own  Carry on

turning his fone On it indicated 3 New Messages 

they were always New

they didnt have expiration dates

kept as long as he didnt look at them

were as patient as he seemingly another underrated trait

they were quiet tics quietics   antiques

he was flying home

he had time on his handstime to sit on his ass

he wondered what he wrote himself

:  :  Malacca Gin  Tanqueray  1749  Sunday  19  5. 19

his daughter was always trying to educate his palateintroduce him to food and drink he was unlikely to pursue

he was a curious man by nature

although not always curious

she knew he preferred things straightdidnt dabble with cocktails  Mebbe if they were called cunttails

:  :  Elysium Snailbones IPA; Magic Hat #9  India Pale Ale

:  :  film  A Simple Favor

she loved introducing him to all things she thought would be new to him

she was rarely wrong

but when he surprised her that he was familiar she looked wistful a wee bit disappointed  she should have made the introduction  Whodve thought? shed say  and smile

You’re still pretty cool, Papa.

Thank you Still cool after all these years

she laughed

sometimes it was a wry laugh like when one of her friends bedded him  kiss-n-tell

she saidhe didnt

it was a brilliant red cherry atop a big goopy sundae

his daughter grew up  highschool college her friends telling her her father was hot If he wanted to have sex with me,

I wouldn’t say no.

he didnt let her off the hook 

                             Aw baby Why didnt you say you didnt want to be my wingman

Jesus, Papa!

Honey you have intelligent exciting friends

she said nothing 

Did I say exciting

crickets

sometime Twosday, 21  5. 19

1256,  Sunday,  9  6. 19

Massive Attack  Dissolved Girl  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lcZ0redg1s  Ke$ha  Kiss N Tell  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSfNkDCx49Y

he looked around the concourse at the milling people as he sat near the gate where his flight home disembarked

he had a couple of hours to kill 

which was never a problem or trouble for him

he was a time assassin

                         he killed itbludgeoned it with books stabbed and slashed it to death with pen to paper

he was without peer

his peerlessnesshowever  was finally being challenged

he was in Phoenix

military jet fighters screeamed across runways and into the wild blue yonder why jets were scrambling across Arizona was beyond him scores had screeamed into the air he couldnt help but wonder what that costed the taxpayer like the presidents golf games at Mar-a-Lago as if DC or Virginia didnt have courses just pissing money away  

he was in Phoenix Arizona where a vast enclave of old white people existed

paranoia existed

looking around the concourse it seemed to him he was the only one who was challenged or irritated by the PAby the wooo wooo wooo howling from ceiling speakers blaring Your attention, please. Your attention, please. The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo 

                                                      the droll monotonous alarm was accompanied by small flashing bright white lights nears the speakers up and down the entire concourse

Your attention, please. Your attention, please. The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo Your attention, please. Your attention, please. The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo  Your attention, please. Your attention, please. The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo  Your attention, please. Your attention, please. The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo

he was a baby boomer  pre-September 11

he remembered how airports were

however these milling peoplethese bus riders seemed willing and readily accepted post-9/11 They despise our way of life. We werent going to let them change it.  

                                     Ahh  enhanced interrorgation had funneled its way into the mainstream  it seemed to enjoy its aerobics and gymnasticsseemed to relish itself in Phoenix  

                                                                          Your attention. please. Your attention, please. 

The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo  Your attention. please. Your attention, please. 

The alarm you are hearing is being investigated. Wooo wooo wooo  

                                                                      Aah  looking closer he saw that most everyone pulling their luggage on castersweaving between each othercutting one another off were wearing earbuds and vying with the crowd in an alternate reality 

he half-hoped a bomb would detonate

itd take a bomb to grab their attention

theres more than one way to kill time

1916,  Twosday,  21  5. 19

Little Walter  BOOM BOOM Out go the Lights  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XagQ3owbBEM

at the airport near the concourse bar a scruffylooking cat in a black tshirt a size too small implied Look at me! Look at me! and of course  tatted

                               aint nobody unless youre wearing ink or colour 

he figured the human body had minimal space why clutter a billboard whatever the message was they were trying to impart was bound to become disorienting or obscured although perfect camouflage for a graffiti tagged alleyway

the cat wore distressed black jeans thighs and calves grayed  since when did guys buy distressed jeans 

his jeans were stressed by wearing and age 

for some reason his top of his right thigh went split

and his crotch gave out 

                         which never bothered him if he was walking around  or upright  if seated he usually sat up at the bar  it was a conciliation he made with the unknowing public so they wouldnt have to catch or gaze at his coloured underwear between his legs

when visiting family he made no conciliation 

                                                Hell widdem    

if he had to put up with their tyranny

hed dole out some of his own

Grampa.

Yes sweetheart

I can see your underwear.

Arent you happy Im wearing underwear

shed roll her eyes and walking away she yelled  Mom! I can see Grampa’s underwear!

Don’t look.

his daughter always had his back

sometime Twosday, 21  5. 19

Dean Martin  You’re Nobody Until Somebody Loves You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIAEAVKcKrs

The Pretender! hur inexplicably he found that he was to sit in First Class

he was not first class material

he supposed that was the only way he would ever find himself there  otherwise according to Blue Bloods he might have only found himself there if they stepped in him and unaware had tracked him onto the aircraft sticking to the sole of their foot – which sounded right to him – Blue Bloods would never step in shit with both boots  the boots others are supposed to pull themselves up by

   sigh  his criticism of Blue Bloods was unjust 

what he meant was

                      the hoity-toity the wealthy the businessmen padding accounts and feeling every-bit-worthy of their preeminent preening and passage those who looked down their noses at people who had the misfortune and misery of not being born into money

as they walked past him -- he never sat with a leg crossed over his knee  but how else would they see he was wearing flipflops – they sneered 

                         sneering is a natural wealthy affectation  rather  they practise it as children before a mirror until theyve perfected it it becomes second-nature 

                                                           Really 

he thought hard about it  he couldnt remember the last time he sneered at anything or anyone

they were practised and predisposed

also he couldnt pull off the long look down his nose  itd been broken three times in fights  and the wealthy have other people to fight for them

so he sat ridiculous in First Class  

he made a point of greetingsmiling like an ass at all the other First Classers they may have wondered how did the chaff get mixed in with the grainhe certainly didnt belong nor did he long to belong his smiles were encouraged by his thinking that he was the proto-ergot the lysergic acid precursor to their 36,000feet of altitudeattitude lysergic acid diethylamide trip flight  tripping their fancy flight or flights of fancy

he knew what he would say if he were asked how he ended up in First Class Like yourself I put my pants on one leg at a time

sometime Twosday,  21  5. 19 

The Platters  The Great Pretender  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2t21IMMSbU         

                        its always nice to write with that thin  mercurial   quivering edge of liquor the corona its bright leaks obliterating his continuity

if youre looking for continuity  bundle up packup  youll have to find it elsewhere this shit HA siht  this siht aint for you

     doncha hate it when someone tells ya it aint for you

for him hed gag forcefeed himself  wipe the tears out of his eyes   vomit only after his persecutor left the room

they might win out

not that theyd know

Sue loved cock

she never did say OBVIOUSLY  why

he never asked

never

how would he ask 

                    So ah  Sue  Whos cock you suck first  When

yad have to be a piece of shit to spring that question some clown who didnt want head

maybe if one became  intimate   with her ya kiddin me

intimate

intimate

         when youre #4 in a line of six guys yer dicks out shes mowin ya down like a pro barely a breathe in between her lips mouth teeth slick with cum her eyes on yers  not that ya could takes yer eyes off her like ya wouldnt be watching sharp  she dragged her teeth on ya 

                                                    ya pay attention 

he paid a distilled attention  

she was the third girl to take his cock in her mouth  

she wasnt shy

not shy

         she was hot

she didnt spit his cum into a tissue 

she took it 

            that was hot

dont get him wrong he was gratefulterribly grateful to the tissue gaggers

he just didnt know it could be this hot

he was infatuated

he made an end-run made himself #7 in the line of six 

                                                          wasnt one cock like another

the other guys zipped upeyes bugged they headed back upstairs out of the basement back to the party

Yakiddinme?

Huh

I said clearly  Yakiddinme

playing stupid had worked for him in other arenas   Huh

You retarded? dont understand English?

Quoi

Quoi? she laughed You got a sense of humour.

Oui

First year French?

Quoi

Junior high, first year of French. Idiot.

You don’t remember? We were in the same French class. But Siemers had you sit up front because he had a thing for you.

If youd have blown him you could have gotten an A in French.

Siemers  Seventh grade  Yah   You were in that class

Yah. Don’t suppose you could have noticed, all the girls were seated in back. We could have been fingerfucking each other for all he cared.

Christ

You tried real hard. I remember.

Verb conjugation.

You struggled.

You struggled she laughed with a noun being masculine or feminine.

I can still remember your crazy exit on your way to Sweat’s office: What does sex have to do with a noun?

I couldn’t believe you were that thick.

But you were really cute.

Us girls liked you, a lot.

You should have paid more attention, rather than sports, rather than playing with the boys.

I might have blown you sooner.

Oh my, you’re eager she tugged on his hard-on You’re all ready to go again.

for all his excitementhis panting he didnt have breath to answer her so he nodded he nodded like a freakin bobblehead

she smiled

            she curled her lips bared her teeth like a wolf

Sue    Sue 

               she loved cock

2226, Saturday,  8  6. 19

0252,  Sunday,  9  4. 19

she was a redhead
                     so why did he think think  shed know what the Mueller Report was  he wasnt being derogatoryclassifying redheads  just remarking of his experience with them

he knew better as he wouldnt have thought a buxomblonde would have known of the Report eitheragain by his experience

and those experiences informed him to keep redheads and blondes at arms length

the redheads he knew were cerebral

but that cerebralityHA cerebrality he liked that an awful lot meant their attention was blinkeredthey saw neither right nor left they were extremely focused straight ahead  honed like a laser

                                                                         although that said he particularly liked it when they were all about his cockthere was nothing like a woman who enjoyed pleasuring him which he did in kind discovering theirs and making them happy

they had amazing fucks 
                          he still fantasised about themplayed with his cock  

but neither they nor he amounted to anything more than a sensational fuck

when they came off his cock they swung back to their focused compelling passions  fixations 

he called them fixations

they didnt like that

they suggested You ought to shaddup.

I ought to shaddup  We ought to just fuck

Yes.

Ahyes but just fucking gets old when thats all you have in common

water eventually boils out of a hot pan

and nobody likes being burned

1444,  Sunday,  2  6. 19
1231,  Monday,  3  6. 19

Kinks  Got my Feet on the Ground  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NftN7IY6Ec

he found it awkwardnot inappropriate  honestly it was safer for single women  he wasnt disgruntled  he was just terribly sorry that terms between peoplebetween men and women had been degraded 

                                                                          but because he was a friendly sort enjoyed engaging people sharing Good day How are you he still thought it awkward if he found himself walking towardssharing a sidewalk with a woman there are few pedestrians found it was awkward that many women didnt raise their eyes as they approached each other and many more who didnt acknowledge his wellwishing

she was a younger woman

slender

not particularly attractive

a plain Jane

she was just walking 

purse slung over her shoulder 

no earbuds in

he had seen her at a distance when he briefly lifted his eyes up out of his book to spy the terrain he would walk

traffic was busy on his left otherwise he would have crossed and let her forego his Hello Happy Twosday he understood the unfortunate degradation

passing her he tipped his book forward raised his eyes Hello  Happy Twosday

she didnt have any of it

she averted her eyes left  away from himmaking him wonder with what she contended that she couldnt bring herself to be courtesy

perhaps she was born to parents who lacked social graces or werent attendant  or she was a keylatch kid  

others called it latchkey  but keylatch reminded him of Polish kolaches  delicacies he enjoyed as a boy  and perversely he enjoyed something indelicate rubbing up against a delicacy 

he tried to let his wondering pass

why unfortunately she had to own her lack of courtesy

something grated him  

                       and grating him he cast a look back at her retreating form

she was tugging at the butt of her shorts

which made him laugh

theres nothing like being caughtwhen you thought you werent

he had daughters

over his humourover his right shoulder  courteously he had taken the curbpassed closest to the street as a gentleman would he said after her Thats the bitch about thongs kid they dont keep yer ass from eating your pants     

1625,  Twosday,  28  5. 19

1147,  Thursday,  30  5. 19

Missing Persons  Walking in LA  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=80WyBxo0Hto  

Daughter  Human  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbCeyb9okac

Daughter  Doing the Right Thing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zSGlbPI3ss

had to clean that off the counter

                                 he knew what it was

however having feral cats he didnt wanna think what it could be otherwise  

it was slopped coffee from when he tried placing the full carafe back into the cradle of the inexpensive Proctor Silex coffeemaker  

         he only needed something simplesomething that didnt tell time have preset capabilities or could scratch his balls for him

he liked to do things for himself

automation wasnt his thing

he wetted a sponge and wiped away the coffee spatter There he thought now it doesnt look like a cat shat on the counter 

he thoughttalked to himself

it gave him comfort 

                    nearly the same comfort as talking to his cats who to the best of his knowledge didnt understand English they probably spoke French or another Romance language

people covet comfort 

                     they take it in all kinds of shape and manner

sometimes their comfort is destructive albeit comfortingly destructive

but who is anyone to tell another what they should or shouldnt do when they ought to grasp that they should have their hands full of themselves

Love thyself aint a part-time gig

hed meet very few people who had the capacity to juggle themselves and others without they or the other suffering some kind of innocent neglect

innocent neglect

                        yes

he had found images of Louise Bourgeois work a new book paired her and Picasso

he wished he might have found Bourgeois works sooner and thought maybe he had otherwise something akin to her organic fashions or faux-arachnids visited his dreams

he didnt think shed much worry about cleaning that off the ocunter sometimes its really nice to get ahead of oneself misstroke  sit back  and wonder what to make of ones err  to err is human (to forgive, divine) hed stick with err  there was nothing divine in him

he could relate to Bourgeois obsessionher art

as he could relate to others

who withheld their art

who were shy

or feared it

it taking them outside that realm called normal

who the fuck wanted to be normalto be that round peg pounded unmercifully into that  round  receptive   hole

hole

         hole

it doesnt magically change into a whole unless one changes it

change is difficult 

                    uncomfortable

it is good to recall that people covet comfort 

                                              because some people beat other people to death with their comfort 

no different than being maced with their own Mace stabbed with their own knife shot with their own gun

he mused 

                    was amused

0953,  Saturday,  8  6. 19

Iron Butterfly  Most Anything You Want  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfjFhl9iKR0

Molecules of freedom!

Drumpfs Energy Department is trying to rebrand fossil fuels as drumroll Molecules of freedom  https://www.msnbc.com/the-beat-with-ari/watch/george-clinton-tells-pulitzer-winner-how-to-keep-it-funky-61512773862

think its about time to clear his mind with a thick lengthy dildo

No no no its not anal rape its Moby helping him free his mind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=calm3oK08QU

ROCK that bass beat

CHRIST 

0011,  Saturday,  8  6. 19