leave it to Virginia Woolf to pronounce that she sought to record atoms as they fell upon her mind  writing the atoms as they fall upon the mind  Virginia he would have interrupted you cannot disassociate yourself  Its not the mind its your mind your particular mind that you write of  from where your words are distilled  issued  to arrest and tantalise our thoughts an pluck our tongues

he wondered if she could take a compliment

in the same article the reason why he entered its space  Violette Leduc a Genet sidekick he gaspedWhat amazing company! 

Violette wrote in her The Lady and the Little Fox Fur of an old lady whose life she defined  her world consisted of nothing but what she had invented

he nodded

he wasnt startled OUR worlds consist of nothing but what we invent

particularly when we think of our granular experiences

                                                         our fictions the fictions we enforce in our nonfictions inherently nonfictions are disturbed by what is innate to us  and inculcated  cultured  prejudices no matter how hard an eye we hold up to our system we will always possess a slight shading colouring hedging  because were human  if the smell of a room distracts us it might influence our considerations our nonfictions  our blatant fictions

we walk wires rocks paths wewalk talk  reveal

                                                    and if were smart we listen

we ingest

again if were smart digest 

atoms

inventions

invented atoms?

                 all of it is worthwhile if we dont want to be thoroughly pwned

1608,  Sunday,  26  8. 18

1507,  Monday,  27  8. 18

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/aug/25/great-comic-subjects-in-the-right-hands-the-genius-of-french-author-violette-leduc?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Bookmarks+-+Collections+2017&utm_term=284275&subid=23491685&CMP=bookmarks_collection

strike while the irons hot

strike while the irons hot

melding folding metal  a smithy hammer and an anvil

ironing shirts who does that anymore?  he did

branding cattle (dont neglect yourself dont breathe in while branding  its awful   its nasty)

making blueberry waffles

physical iterations

his was emotional

his anvil is an electric white pagehis hammer the puny keys of a keyboard

pent up wild emotions ciphered into common words

                                                      because what would be the point of writing cryptically about his feelings  his emotions  which all human beings share despite their wide varying degrees or shades obscure black to lightningbright white

this communique is a miserable attempt to strike while the irons hot

                                                                      because his emotional confusionhis battle vied warm bloodred hope against cold concrete reality              

idealists at the get-go dont have a firm grip on reality  reality is elastic  malleable   unfixed

he doesnt see his sisters body rendered by cancer  exhausted   decimated

he hears her lively vital voice  albeit tinged with exhaustion worked to wearinesshe hears her rapid neurons snapping wet towels at naked asses in a high school shower Leave your fleshy ass turned to me so I dont accidentally snap your pecker or slap you in the ballsTHATLL HURT

he hears her voice now as astonishing as he heard her voice when she was a babe  disgruntled without the words  crying FEED ME! CHANGE MY DIAPER! FIGURE OUT MY DISPLEASURE

                                                                             but sometimes she just needed to cry

she needed to learn that she was as responsible for her comfort  as much as they were in trying to alleviate her touted discomforts they assumed and discovering their T’s crossed I’s dotted insoluble  they let her to determine her druthers thats from where druthers come

he heard herhe hung on every word she said

                                               and when she says I better go. I’m taking up too much of your time.he abruptly interruptedNo youre not If youre tired thats something else I love spending my time talking with you I love you sweetheart

she admits shes exhausted

he doesnt want to let her gohell never let her go  Okay  Then well talk next week

Yes. Next week.

when theres no Next week   When theres no next week When theres no next weekwhat will he do  theyve been talking like this for better than six years every week

                                                  what will he do

hell remember what he can

hell talk about his baby sister until he cant talk anymore

then only one thing will be able to shut him up

1134,  Sunday,  26  8. 18

Senator John McCain died yesterday on my brothers birthday  I heard of his death while at work during my night job

what Il remember is this  Senator McCain plainly speaking:

                                                               Today’s press conference in Helsinki was one of the most disgraceful performances by an American president in memory. The damage inflicted by President Trump’s naiveté, egoism, false equivalence, and sympathy for autocrats is difficult to calculate. But it is clear that the summit in Helsinki was a tragic mistake.

unfortunately Ill also remember this:

                                      (John McCain is) not a war hero. He’s a war hero, he’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people who weren’t captured, okay? He was a war hero because he was captured.

a remark made by then-Presidential candidate Donald Trump  by Individual – 1  who five-times received deferment during Vietnam 

I believe the remarks are a fair delineation of the mens natures

John McCain volunteered and served in the military  then he served in the US House and Senate for 31 years

Donald Trump has served in public office just over a tumultuous year and a half

0049, Sunday,  26 8, 18

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/16/john-mccain-says-trump-abased-himself-before-putin-at-summit.html

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2015/jul/19/donald-trump-john-mccain-not-a-war-hero-video

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/02/us/politics/donald-trump-draft-record.html

the springboard a devise

                          she was a bit of a spastic going off of one she could never quite manage to place the damn rollerbar to her utmost benefit but when contemplating her experiences she understood that anything a human being did was flawed  whatever we get our hands on its results are imperfect

                                                                           therefore she was content she was happy that her efforts were good

she had read Olivia Laings The Lonely City  her distillation of Virginia Woolfs diary  Woolfs idea that loneliness might take one towards an otherwise unreachable experience of reality

she was unsure how she felt about Woolfs tenet

Woolf was lonely

was troubled contending with it

which made her think made her wondered if Woolf had a springboard if it had a rollerbar or was static 

if true  she assumed it was static

she plied a quote by Anais Nin as an anodyne to Woolfs lonely journey her poor destination at the end of her otherwise unreachable experience of reality 

It is a sign of great inner insecurity to be hostile to the unfamiliar 

she always seemed to have sought to befriend the unfamiliar it might be befriended if one was curious  she possessed an abundant curiosity

                         and while she pursued her curiosity singularly  alone   her aloneness was not loneliness

if she was backed into a corner it was to force her adversaries to attack her head on  she never turned around and put her face into it

she hadnt devised a loneliness for herself or despair

                                                         though perhaps she hadnt stepped into any traps or suffered the pitfalls loneliness concocts because she was too playful  her pleasures too simple  also that she mindful her circumstances her health were difference from others  and if she in fact went tit for tat with their troubles she might also be induced

but she wasnt

and wouldnt

and for that she was grateful

1647,  Thursday,  12  7. 18

0936,  Twosday,  21  8. 18

corrupting

Highly conflicted Bob Mueller and his gang of 17 Angry Dems are having a field day as real corruption goes untouched. No Collusion! written by someone who understands corruption

Individual – 1 may be having trouble sleeping his candid tweets have a dreamy unhinged quality

17 Angry Dems

                 perhaps he forgets he assailed Robert Mueller and his gang of 13 Angry Dems 

who to the best of my knowledge has never named the 13 

recently 13 became 17  the additional four Angry Dems also unnamed

Bob Mueller was conflicted

                            now hes highly conflicted

given it is well-reported Mr Mueller years ago quit a membership to a Trump golf club and that he also interviewed to replace Mr Comey to head the FBI I can assess that stressed-to-the-MAX Individual – 1 might believe religiously those are the grounds why Robert Mueller is conflicted/highly conflictedNO COLLUSION! he writes NO COLLUSION! Donald colluding personal letters whereas we might write Love, Donald

1112,  Saturday,  25  8. 18

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/trump-renews-attacks-on-sessions/ar-BBMpWJK?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

ahhh  thats poisonit made him ill  unnerved him shook him

                                                                 but he wasnt gonna stop  hed dialed these numbers for yearscommitted them to memory whawas he supposed to do  burn em out frontal lobotomy he couldnt dispatch them his fingers naturally ran their course fingerpounded the numbers absently without thought   reflexes

one  by  one  they didnt answer the telephone anymore 

first one

then the other 

then the others

and those others one at a time too

The number you have dialed it not a working number. Check the number and dial again.

the telephone company bing bing bing the message it didnt dissuade him the message was an affirmation an oral gravestone he called to remind himself because all these many years later they had become fixtures in his life                                   

then they were unfixed  

no ones dead until no one talks about them or calls their disconnected number  and when the number is reupped and someone else answers he asked for them

You got the wrong number, buddy.

No Actually You got the wrong number And as long as you have it youll have to tolerate me  It was theirs longer than itll be yours

few endured

            and then as it would be the case they didnt answer either their messages he knew rote  then those quit

The number you have dialed it not a working number. Check the number and dial again.

he supposed that would happen as long as telephones were around and ghosts called them

1358,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  22  8. 18

Individual – 1 tweeted “Department of Justice will not be improperly influenced by political considerations.” Jeff, this is GREAT, what everyone (his feckless 30%-plus sheep) wants, so look into all of the corruption on the “other side” including deleted Emails, Comey lies and leaks, Mueller conflicts, McCabe, Strzok, Page, Ohr . . .

. . . FISA abuse, Christopher Steele & his phony corrupt Dossier,the Clinton Foundation, illegal surveillance of Trump (not his, “my”) Campaign, Russian collusion by Dems – and so much more. Open up the papers (comon, he doesnt read newspapers) & documents without redaction? Come on, Jeff, you can do it, the country is waiting!

                                                                                                         written by the Audience of one   or Audience – 1

I posted these 2 tweets because Individual – 1 refers to “Jeff” . . . only because hes unsure if the Attorney Generals last name is Session or Sessions

as easy as 1234,  Reggae Friday,  24  8. 18

it was several days later

when he entered the tavern he saw Fixture seated at the bar

his ithis or ithat stuck out of his back pocket  

it didnt seem likely that he was going to need it today to cover his pint

he sat sideways this afternoon the stools to either side of him empty

the spiteful alcoholic haze that had wound his head like a blindfold then had dissipated like wood smoke from forest fires erased by westerly currents  sunsets no longer glared orange

by what he could see it seemed Fixture had foregone his whiskies

a halfemptied pint sat at his hands

cash wasnt splayed ahead of him on the bar

the hyenas snappedtight leather purse was a memory  maybe a reoccurring nightmare

Fixtures

not his

her keen teeth or cooed lines her tentacles or hooks couldnt scathe him

some people simply didnt appeal to him
                                         thenatasudden overhead he recognised the Beatles You Never Give Me Your Money playing Abbey Road You Never Give Me Your Money  a pleasant reverie cloaked himhe silently mouthed the words one sweet dream came true today . . came true  today . . . came true  today . . one two three four five six seven  all good children will go to heaven  one two three four five six seven all good children will go to heaven one two three . .

the counting did him good 

it ground him  

and grounded  returned   he could see again

Fixture

at the bar

who also seemed to be counting

                                  or maybe counting his pintshis nonexistent  unordered  whiskies

his eyes roved uncontained by the blindfold the worried creases around his eyes seemed less defined the vigorous lines at his brow less furrowed

Fixture seemed free

                       or freer

PS a week later he read in the local newspaper Fixture had been arrested on murder charges

he didnt read furthur to learn who

     

1727,  Monday,  20  8. 18
1545,  Twosday,  21  8. 18

Beatles  You Never Give Your Money  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpndGZ71yww

Cohn or Cohen To Be or Not To Be

I have to suppose when Individual – 1 asked in a tweet who would be his Cohn now  he didnt expect Pecker to be granted immunity to testify against verify his exCohen

https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/1031154974942810114?wpisrc=nl_daily202&wpmm=1

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2016/04/donald-trump-roy-cohn-mentor-joseph-mccarthy-213799?wpisrc=nl_daily202&wpmm=1

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/david-pecker-granted-immunity-in-cohen-case/ar-BBMlk9S?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

1056,  Thursday,  23  8. 18

This is ancient magic. Humans dreamed of (immortality) for as long as we’ve wondered where the dead were and what happened when we joined them. The idea that this should belong to someone, that the sociopaths who clawed their way to the top of default’s pyramid of skulls should have the power to decide who dies, when no one has to die, ever – fuck that shit . . . Doctorows Walkaway

he seconded Doctorows sociopaths  also those minor sociopaths who let their dogs shit on city pavement the sidewalks and streets and didnt bother to pick up their animals sizable turds 

they wouldnt have small dogs  

they had to have dogs to emphasise their masculinity

                                                         the more pronounced their ssshh private failings the larger the dog

they had breeders concoct new species to help absolve them of what they mistakingly believed was a temporary current condition 

it could be rectified(hed love to help wrecktify them) 

they were kidding themselves 

and those who enabled them silently kidded too a corrupt paycheck is a paycheck is a paycheck maybe a bit more distance is a paycheck 

he was confident those socioclowns would gobble cock if they thought it would help grease their rails

                                                                                                            nothing

nothing was beyond contempt in their pursuit

yet once they felt serenely elevated  anything and everything that didnt serve them was contemptible

ancient magic

he couldnt have said it better 

when history cant inform 

it will be repeated

every recitationevery newest thing under the sun chained replays revocation of common sense appalled him

theyd get it right this Time

ignoring prior precepts was what it meant to be human

the pyramid of skulls 

the heaped inhumanity  

is what it meant to be human

he was obliged to disagree

1843,  Sunday,  19  8. 18

1133,  Monday,  20  8. 18

Page 107              

HEY! Ive got a great idea! Itll take a load off Individual – 1  think of it as a distraction  the Militarys budget was increased  theres no parade 

Lets start a war!

Boltons good for something

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/iran-threatens-to-hit-us-israel-after-trump-aide-warns-of-maximum-pressure/ar-BBMhAD1?li=BBnb7Kz&ocid=mailsignout

https://theintercept.com/2018/03/23/heres-john-bolton-promising-regime-change-iran-end-2018/

1144,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  22  8. 18

FAKE PRESIDENT = Individual-1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czyfvwm-ooI

a criminal doesnt get another Supreme Court confirmation hearing

2115,  Twosday,  21  8. 18

he was reading a book The Faithful Executioner of the walled-in free city of Nuremberg which was renown during the Middle Ages as the bastion of Law and Order 

however in a seemingly queer addenduman aside  it posed “fear and anxiety are woven into the very fabric of human existence”

the words conflicted him

he decided that the “fear and anxiety” the author referred to were meant to pertain to the historic Middle Ages he was writing of

           because if the writer were positing “fear and anxiety” to this current time  he didnt get the memo  not did he subscribe to the malevolent notion of fear or anxiety

                                                      to be sure he was white  he was male he understood the base entitlement those involuntary aspects provided him  however it wasnt something he blindly assumed he liked making his own way through the morass and mayhem of modern American Exceptionalism there was nothing he loved more than calling outmaking some Whitey toe the line it astonished him that the preposterous Luck to be born who one was made them better than another person

talk about scifi

talk about delusion

talk about cocksuckers

“fear and anxiety woven into the very fabric of human existence”

he felt terrible for those who let fear or anxiety subsume themlet themselves be played by others others who also unremarkably put their pants on one leg at a time and buttoned their buttons one by one exactly as they did

people will treat you as you allow them to treat you

he was partial to taking scalps which included the uppermost of their ears

                                                                              utterly disfiguring

as was their intent

DO unto others as they will do unto you  Luke 6:31 The fuckin Golden Rule

hed choke them with their Body of Christ their sips Blood of Christ

he wasnt a consumer

he liked the convenience of their heady Consumption

1805, Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  6. 18

1554,  Sunday,  19  8. 18

this was going nowhere fast

out the gate everyone was sensitiveso fucking sensitive

he didnt ask the reason whythat was personal

he asked why they chose its location

he meant it sincerely  frankly

                                he was eminently curious

their reactions however seemed tantamount to criminality why would he want to know

Please Im just asking

if looks could kill hed be dead 

they were icy repugnant

                           as if he blindsided them stopped them to ask if they wouldnt mind watching him shit on the street

angry  

one cat had a small poorlyexecuted multicoloured bullseye tatted on the heft of his cheekbone  left of his left eye

muthafucker actually snarled as he walked up on him  a grubby weighted knapsack clutched over his right shoulder

why snarl at him  he was standing leaning with his back to the flat of a structural steel post  Christ he was reading a book

he was aware someone was approaching him from his right  though he scarcely lifted his eyes  unconcerned of any threat

his snarl suggested possession  or territory   and fuckhim  homeless owns nothing  not territory not a corner not the post he leaned against

he took paroxysmal offense

it got the best of him

manhandled his tongue

                         Hey man whyd you plant that tattoo on your cheek

Fuck you

good

      they were coming from the same place

No  Im curious is all  

Fuckin leave me alone

Leave you alone Whens the next time youll talk with someone who isnt homeless or would prefer to duck you  You have my undivided attention

Fuck you

Its on you I was reading a book You snarledyou took offense of my eyecontact

You dont ever look at me

Dont look at you  You outa your mind Ill look anydamnwhere I want  Say buddy whats with the tat  Why your cheek

Dont fuck with meman

Throwin a gauntlet down yawanna fuck with me

Squirrelly cut hard right  space grew between them  

Good Not as nutsy as he thought

still however there was no satisfaction to understand why he chose to have his cheek dotted

                                                                                                   not like it was a teardrop at the corner of his eye

                         for whatever that meant

his casual impromptu canvassing left him to surmise what he assumed  to each his own  

and they were fucking touchy about it

1536,  Friday,  17  8. 18

1154,  Sunday,  19  8. 18