Awchrist no he sighed as he drifted up behind a Lexis SUV  he couldnt unsee it and seeing it the two would be at it 

IM DRIVING he growled

That say what I’m reading.

Easy  Im driving  I dont want trouble

Yes.  And she’s right, right as rain.

      

You might want to shaddup.

She’s proud, and she has every right to be proud, her man won, may the best man win, and there was no doubt he’d win because she wasn’t a man, no matter how hard she tried to act she was. I’m not even sure she’s a woman. But my man’s, indisputably, a man.

I’ll concede that, he thinks with his dick. He thinks his tie is subtle, a quiet suggestion of his manhood, I’d like to hang that piece of shit with it . .

. . Whoawhoa  WHOA Man Im driving

Asshole. He's driving. And you, you’re always first to be derogatory.

Derogatory? Regarding your poor excuse of a man? Damn right, he incenses me. A real man doesn’t cheat on hisready  wives. He’s entitled. He’s spoiledhe’s stupid. He’s fat.

the red light lingered

the white Lexis was impatiently tapping her brake her tail lights went RED opaque RED opaque RED opaREDopRED

Jesus Christquit with the brakes your bumper sticker isnt bad enough

I like it.

It’s shit. She’s shit.

Hey

A woman backing Trump? That isn’t a woman. That’s a turd.

How dar . .

. . QUIET  Both of you nowQuiet 

You’re on my side.

You are, you two are always ganging up on me. 

I didnt take a side here I just pulled up behind it

It is not an it. It’s a Lexis. The driver is a woman, who you ought to respect because you don’t know her from Adam. She’s a perfect stranger to you. Yet you have animus for her . .

. . I do  Admittedly  I have animus for everyone an anyone who saw Trump was fit to lead this nationfit to be Americas face around the world

He’s a liar. He’s immoral. He’s racist . .

. . He believes as I believe . .

. . Quiet Please

the light turned green and the bumper sticker pulled away from him

I’m a Trump Girl sticker rolled away and diminished in size

if it wasnt for the traffic behind him he would have been content to let the Lexis roll out of sight

as he came off his stop gently on the gasAhshit  shes going onto the highway

We’re going to have to sit behind her again.

Shaddup

I don’t mind waiting behind her. Maybe you two will finally get the message; you lost, he won, we won.

I hate ithate it that I gotta sit in between you two

he didnt have a better angel

he had a conscience

his conscience sat on either shoulder

You’re thinking about us again.

He’s confiding in us.

He isn’t confiding, we know what he’s thinking, Raqid . .

. . Would you quit with that?!

Gets your goat, doesn’t it, Raqid? Upsets your Trumpian mindset. Gee, did I say mind?  No   Upsets the Trumpish reptilian brain, racially hardwired; It ain’t right if it ain’t white . .

. . Shaddup! 

What are you doing here anyways? You’re diametrically opposed to everything we stand for, believe in.

STOP  Please   Stop Yourethe two of you are baked in the cake  Evidently Im genetically predisposed to try hard to understandweigh out both sides of an argument

You should have been in debate in high school.

I was in sports

Idiots. There’s nothing to debate. He’s a visionary. You can’t possibly understand a visionary.

A visionary?  I could buy into a voyeur. A voyeur watching whores, Russian whores are the best in the world, urinate on each other . .

. . Not true. Not true. A lie.

We dont know . .

. . He says it’s a lie. But he’s an inherent liar. 

Lets chalk it up to innuendo for the time beingWhat am I doing in this conversation

You’re talking to yourself.

Finally. Light’s changed. You can let Trump’s girl get lost in the traffic ahead of you.

Talking about lost Whats with Raqid

And now you?

Not now me  Im ignorant  What is Raqid or what does it meanyou mean

Would you like to take this, Raqid? I’d be Atid.

The devil . .

. . No. The Muslim scribe or angel, let’s keep to scribe though, who records all your bad deeds . .

. . Your blasphemies . .

. . Man, you’re a pain in the ass. You have to have religion to be a blasphemer. He doesn’t. You know that. Just poking around with a pointed stick trying to get a rise . .

. . Not that citing aspects of the Muslim faith isn’t poking with a stick?

You can’t help yourself can you Raqid?  How Trumpian, racist, a nonbeliever against a religion because it plays well to his base. Raqid here records your good deeds. A tally system if you would, sorted out when you died and went to Heaven; but you’re not going.

No Im going up in smoke  Ashes to ashes dust to dust

Muslims are bad.

Christians are bad.

Nothing?

You see the White House’s video for the summit with Kim Jong Un?

Truly visionary.

evidently Atidthats what he called himselfAtid  was having the last word

he was pulling up at work parking the car going to entertain himself with stocking merchandise and harassing customers 

naively they think hes a cashier

nope  gatekeeper

dont entertain him an they aint walking out door with their booze

1622,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  6. 18

1114,  Thursday,  14  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QVVFARIR0Tc

my apologeezs to Mr. Kendrick Lamar  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZTYgq4EoRo&index=2&list=PLmWFAdSzTPQWmSk1rs6uTyKaIkSlDjkrG couldnt help myself

wrioting

                     disillusionment

                                                                                                                                                                                   delusion

disillusionment

he knew it was  he knew it was as he wokehis eyes blurry  woke  and  watched  the texturing on the wall at his feet melt  go flaccid without blemish  serenely flat    hardmirror flat

                                                              the sunlight falling on it moments beforerevealing its blemishes now glances and reflects and sees itself on the wall adjacent at his right painting a concise rainbowribboned arc as if it were revealed through a prism

he knew that was disillusionment

                                   for yet in a hypnagogic phase or fashion he rightly knew that the driedmud smeared on plasterboard for texture beneath the paint could not melt like bits of congealed butter  he knew that he willed it he smoothed it with his mind and willingly saw it 

he did not actually see it

had he seen it

he would have deluded himself

                              and his reasoning was too acutetoo raw to ever actually see something that was not there

his roommateshis ghosts were there

                                   their breaths on the back of his neckon his facemaking him flinch like a babehis name said audiolised perhaps kin to idolised idol-eyed idolatry giveidleatry they made him giddyspooks can do that  and just when sex was thought primeval to males giddy their goofy fuckfaces declaring Im cummin!  a spookll do that
a suckubus  an incubutt theyll make you put chewed gum where you wouldnt chew it again

they were his frenetic reality

                            not frantick disillusionment

not Somewhere Over the Rainbow delusion coloured Oz blackandwhite Kansas tapping rubyred slipperheels together Theres no place like home Theres no place like home Theres no place like home

delusion

one worked hard to delude themselves aint talking psychoticbreaks like windows psychicslips on ice or bananapeels

the first time he saw The Wizard of Oz he didnt see the coloured OZ until he shared the movie with his daughters in the 80s Awcomon  The tornado would have eaten her alive

SHUSH! Watch the movie.

he relished the righteous apple trees nobody touched his fruit unless he wanted them to

   

lazy 1000ish in bed,  Sunday,  10  6. 18

1212,  Monday,  11  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nauLgZISozs

why call it a summithow is it possibly called a summit a rose by any other name . . . other than the principals indulging themselves and they call it a summit   

a summit  once an achievement  can apparently be determined and attained by nothing more than synchronised chin music saying so

this summit this illustrious high bar is difficult to crawl under  and was nothing more than an international photo-op the worlds media acting like paparazzi they covered a farce  and by their coverage they helped legitimise it  they helped legitimised a couple of  of  playground thugsSTOP suppose Shakespeare gets his due again  a playground = all the world is a stage  correction  a playground thug and a wannabe thug  though he hadnt seen any inclinations the president would have family members executedSTOP

the shenanigans were a staged dog and pony show convened for the principals their array of cohortscowhorets

amounting to nothing more than a televised preening of individuals intent on themselvestheir countries be damned

the few moments he looked in on itpeeking through a glory hole they punched in the wall  what he saw was mutual unabashed simultaneous tugging at the others dick their eyes starry blinded by the spotlight they assume history shines     

The Supreme Leader would be very hard to unseat

The President already has a one foot a portion of his posterior and the end of his tie out the door

2216,  Twosday,  12  6. 18

0954,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  13  6. 18

952 days remaining or fewer

hed been calling homenot really home  the house his parents lived in hed always call homenever having a house of his own  homehis childhood home  was razed by a polack builder who kept his feelers outcertainly wasnt his ear to the ground who learned his that parents bid on a house had been acceptedobviously it was their intention to use the proceeds from the sale of their house to acquire their new home  the polack used their excitementfinally finding a new place to leverage the abolishment of a clause that they required the polack accept  requiring him not to tear down the house  the once sole house on hundreds of acres of farmland  the farm house of a farm sold and divvied up into lots and thereby makingcomprising the neighbourhood he grew up in 

when he was a kid there were many undeveloped lots in each block of the neighborhood holes between homes   

the kids called them prairies  prairies of shoots of trees of grassland stands of trees  cobbled forts childish intrigues holds  keeps safe places  refuges to recline in small campfires at their sprawled feet  loose shoelaces that begged like wicks to powder kegs

hed been calling home regularlyhis folks hadnt been well

his siblings werent attentivebitched how faraway the folks had moved and frankly they didnt see it was their obligation to check in on them They made their bed. They could lie in it.

his perspective was different

he reminded them they took years and years of free childcare free meals for their children free overnights free laundry free bussing to and fro different schools freeing them up to work so they could save money to buy the houses they lived in

That was their choice they countered

You asked them for their help

They could have said no.

No  Im the only one in this family who says no  Youre fucking polacks the kind of polacks that should have tipped off his parents to the polack they sold their house to                   

ingrates 

thieves

a polack gets away with calling Polish people polacks as Black people get away with calling their own niggers  dont ever feel free to racially disparage someone  its reason enough to have your face broke  bring it before the Lawcunt more than reason enough to have your throat cut   betraying your manhoodyour womanhood

hed been calling home regularly  then amid that in storage he was keeping storage for his daughterstheir thingstheir mothers things things for them to sort throughdecide to keep or not   it was only money 

his money

in storage he recovered a small bowling ball that had always been hished taken with him when he left home last century

it was his ball

yet he never understood why it was hiswhy his siblings hadnt their own balls

he was keenly aware of thatkeenly aware of the  animosity   what the ballwhen present configured in them  resentment  detest  Why him?which was the same as Why not me?

they were greedy even as children

so calling home he finally asked his motherhe would have asked his father if his father wasnt napping  Tell me about my bowling ball Ive known it to be mine always but I dont know why I dont know the back story

We haven’t told you?

You haventthough Ive never asked either 

Oh goodness. That was a baby gift to you from Cliff and Al, their wives Mugs and Vera. Your father bowled on North Avenue at Cliff and Al’s lanes, don’t ask me, I don’t remember the name of the alley, but we had a fond affection for them, we used to take you as a baby to their tavern and restaurant at the southeast corner of Golf Mill when the shopping center was being built, I can’t remember the name of the restaurant either, it’s been torn down now, but they thought you were, thought you were the berries. Bob’s baby. Karol’s baby. Hope you make more babies, because if this one is any indication of what might follow they would be worth having.

Did they have children

No. They didn’t. But they certainly fell in love with you. The ball’s called a duck ball, used with duckpins. When you’re teaching a child to bowl that was the ball they used. They had that ball years and years before they gave it to you. They were older than your father and I, in their fifties, although the age difference between us didn’t matter, we were good friends, we certainly enjoyed each other’s company.

That’s the backstory to your bowling ball.

You ought to write it down so you don’t forget it.

1124,  Sunday,  10  6. 18

1710, Sunday,  10  6. 18

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/29/sports/duckpin-bowling.html

there are hundreds of billions of neurons in our brains

there are hundreds of billions of galaxies surrounding us

among the Milky Way alone there are an estimated ten million to a billion black holes

I think it is probable we have black holes in our heads supping on our lost thoughts and memories 

1355 text,  Monday,  4  6. 18

2206,  Monday,  11 6. 18

The Three Stooges

I cant believe the United States has allowed a slapstick team The Three Stooges Moe Curly and Larry to represent our interests in Singapore with North Koreas Kim Jong Un  

a preposterous liar  an enabler and sycophant  and a Johnny-Come-Lately National Intelligence advisor who is not only a sycophant but is also someone who relieslike the president only on their opinion  they couldnt give a rats ass what anyone else might think

I hope scribes are in the room with them recording for us their every word

I dont trust any of one of them to truly relate what was said in the room

1527 text,  Monday,  11  6. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UDu4IEkPPI  

cunt would have us believe hes been preparing all his life for this meeting with North Koreas Kim Jong Un: https://www.msnbc.com/brian-williams/watch/what-to-expect-from-trump-s-high-stakes-summit-with-north-korea-1251807299517

kestrel  falcon  hawk 

                        one of the three 

Handsome hed known handsome women so he figured if the raptor were a female she wouldnt take offence to him telling her  

shehe looked down on him from herhis perch on a swaying liquoriceblack electrical line adjusting to the lines movement subtly  not giving their balance whoa  whoa whoawhoa   whoa lipservice 

whoas not so elegant for so elegant a creature

if he stood on the line beside herhim despite his sense of balance his keen athleticism  a slick wavering a sudden wind at his back would drop him like a stone

Dont look at me that wayyou got wings

maybe it wasnt a look of haughtiness  maybe pity

shehe was gorgeous

he had glanced up from his book in time to see the flurry arching through the sky across the intersection and enter a live oak treetop ten metres off the road the intersection was noisy busy he could never figure out how this sprawling rural township generated the kind of traffic it didimpatient traffic quick at their horns quick with their violating fingers though he had to acknowledge it was a highway-signed gas exit off the 101 and the 101no matter where along its length and breadth was a mad caustic artery of GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY funnier he thought that that mentality also reigned at its clotted urban junctures despite therm being bumper-to-bumper

he managed to catch the flurry of feathers enter the oaks spacey green and brown canopy

he considered it was a big pigeonthere was a sizable kit of escaped carrier pigeons aloft and roosting in the area

then suddenly it exploded out of the treeleaves rustling and swooped up onto a bellied electric line hung between decrepit woodpoles bearing crooked nailsrusting nails thin staplestatters of paper posters as if they served as personal kiosks for every Tom Dick or Harrys garage sale missing pets or lonelyhearts pleano shame

shehe landed directly above his headswinging the line negotiating its momentary physics then fixing itself like an immovable brick

looking up he turned and backpedaled Dont shit on me until he had a good angle to admire shehe

it tilted its beaklooked over its breast wideeyed  the thin lizard crepe around them peeled back  an ocular moment
and when one makes eyecontact with the beast one feels the beast inside them slither uncomfortably were humans were supposed to be beyond slithering we reticulaterespond at a hot bloodred cellular level we can smell sweat sulphur earth iron taste gall and bile bitter blackcrystal vomit from the well deepdeep inside us   reptilian   coldbloodied  liberating   he wasnt going to break off this visual interlewd   

a spider crawling in his brain tickled him as he wondered what shehe might be thinkingwhat ran through their brain  something dynamic did  dumbluck goodfortune isnt spread to creatures who have to kill to live

What are you thinking

The shit you creatures take for granted  the things you big strong bipedal freaks do  and call life

shehe shruggedfeathers curled I have to find something to eat shehe crouched . .

. . No Leaving  I could stand here all day admiring you . .

. . and shat  then launched themselves through the live oak itd come from and wings widespread took the updraft the hill before it forced on the air currents riding a wide invisible wash he couldnt imagine or see         

1243 text,  Monday,  4  6. 18

1409,  Saturday,  9  6. 18

Tricky  Wash My Soul  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtBdFFyuhf8

John Bolton 

I detest him 

I have enmity for sociopaths he and the signatories of the Project for a New American Century (Kagan Kristol Kheney . .hey . .doesnt that . . .)   

Bolt–On  Strap-on Snap-on 

I better stick with Bolt-On though  I dont wish to obscure or minimise products or namesakes that happen to have the misfortune to share homogeneous names he could be  hes certainly trying to make up for something a slight a feeling of inadequacy look at me  lil olde rumourmaker me  

today I happened to read a quote in Rovellis The Order of Time I have to admit I didnt think Id stumble on a poem in a book relating to the physics of Time

the Persian poet Saadi Shiraz

All of the sons of Adam are part of one single body.

They are of the same essence.

When time afflicts us with pain

In one part of that body

All the other parts feel it too.

If you fail to feel the pain of others

You do not deserve the name of man.

the poem is enshrined at the entrance to the UN building in New York

I rarely see anything in media that draws us back to Bolt-On serving as Bushs recess appointment to the UN as our US ambassador particularly regarding his remark “If it (the UN building) lost ten stories, it would't make a bit of difference.” The UN building has thirtynine storeys to what twentyfive percent of the assembled onehundredseventy nations was he referring

he does not deserve the name of man 

Bolt-On will have to suffice in lieu of other derogatory names that tickle my tonguestick in my crawintrude on my senses whenever I hear or read his name or see his face a gag reflex

1532,  Twosday,  5  6. 18
1557,  D-Day,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  6  6. 18

https://www.democracynow.org/2005/3/31/john_bolton_in_his_own_words

they were stonedraving stoned

fuckin giddy

their intimate little gaggle of freaks had finally gathered

itd been awhile since they had

statelines had come between them coopted crawled in and separated themthough utterly voluntary  it wasnt a separation without cause they chased their dreams with abandon  

and with abandonnow together again years to catch up on they absconded to his hilltop house high above and faraway from people who couldnt possibly fit the bill because they didnt come from where they hadhadnt the allnight beach parties to sunrise on Key Biscayne fucked each other and also the willing sycophants they brought into their mix but either found them wanting or the sycophants found them too raw         

yahthey were unabashed irreverent they held that lifes but a joke a comedy club cant take a joke a bad jokegroan then stay the fuck awayPLEEASE they left nothing in their wake unscathed or unscorched like the fire at the end of their fatties  then a quick twist or roll of the wrist snuffed it and they kept on tokin

he was the gang leader of sorts

he was the one who repelled deep into himself on the scantiest lines or flung himself up into the heavens on slender tethers ahead of everyone while everyone awaited his return  sometimes betting he wouldntthough they never told him awaiting his return to say what he thought of his trip before they embarked  if they dared embark

those who didnt go got his trademark Pussy  but then he neverhe really never said anything furthur  he relished To each his own and because he did he didnt judge  though humourously he allowed himself that single jabthat one push in the back  Pussy

candles were burningseveral had been replaced incense seeped a fire burned in the fireplace records turned his fellow freaks were always amazed how he could lay the needle down in between songs to hear exactly what they wanted they imbibed what they would and at his rages heightwhen he could no longer restrain himselfhe had to act out that which projected itself onto the big fucking screen inside his headengulfing his brain projected in lavish Cinemascope and ultravivid Technocolour

Just go with me he shouted Who am Iwho am I  Ill be right back

he went up the hall to the bathroom turned on the shower got into it fully dressed stripped got out leaving his clothes in a sodden heap brusquely dried himself wrapped the towel at his hips grabbed his girlfriends hairbrushshe left it for when she stayed overnight and emerged into the hallAwrightAwright into the livingroomYa gotta imagine Im fat fatwhaddafuck am I talking aboutIm fuckin obese Im lapped in slabsgot a fupa one of the gals howled Not cool youre notyoure built! hard to imagine fat while lookin at you Then do your bestIm enormous wear my blonde hair sweptback a hairdresser works with me every morninggot a fulltime makeup staff to preen me tooAwright?Awright!  Im standing in front of my full length mirror singing he held the hairbrush up to his face  Im admiring myself in itAwright

setting the brush aside he squats before his record shelves goes through them finds the album hes looking for stands and at the recordplayer seamlessly lifts the needle removes Zappas Dinah-Moe-Hum turns the album lays the needle between the third and fourth tracks and spins to his expectant cohorts behind himnearly loses his towelrecinches it holds the hairbrush to his mouth again and slowly begins moving his hips with the songs tempo singing with Sinatra Irresponsible  peppered with Indispensable and Exceptional

they howl

then they howl CUNT!   

                       his tribe knows his pet name for Drumpf  ahTrump

1057,  Thursday,  7  6. 18

Sinatra  Irresponsible  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WciZzNSgGOI

Zappa  Dinah-Moe-Hum  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U