birds are the souls of the dead

                               some people buy that

he didnt

it only occurred to him this sunny afternoon as he stood on the porch at its railing reading the end of White Noise a murder attempt gone awry the shooter a latent hero German nuns defending their faith  This is why we are here. A tiny minority. To embody old things, old beliefs. The devil, the angels, heaven, hell. If we did not pretend to believe these things, the world would collapse(page 318).

                                   the world would collapse if some people didnt believe birds were the souls of the dead

a hummingbird shot down out of the skyhe didnt see from where  he was pretty sure Gawd didnt let loose an arrow an miss 

it fed at a feeder beside his knee on the other side of the threebythree pickets where he hung it 

he couldnt think of one person who he knew in life who was dead who could streak like a hummer or hover midair while they fedwhaddahell stroke the air with their wings hundreds of times a minute a thousand times   no one he knew

he didnt know one whoif they fell overboard from a liner in the middle of the ocean would tread a thousand strokes to mitigate their drowning

Why

       their big brains knew they were in the middle of the oceanwould be unmissed for hours an pushed by the current lapped by waves  they also knew nothing was static at sea it wasnt like disembarking from a car leaving the highway for an unwanted destination an waiting on anothertheir thumbs stuckout in hope that the next ride would actually take them where they wanted to goHallelujah  or at least get them within one last hitchhike

they werent retards

                   treading water in the middle of the ocean for hours a daydays!  an exercise in futility

they didnt exercise

fuck

why would they start now

accountability is a bitch

                        an sometimes accountability was death

it was a good run

regrets were useless

werent gettin a do-over

whodathought

fish food

no  fish food souls dont become birdsthey dont get to soar they get to cuddle with whale shit in unmoved prehistoric mud

they didnt want to go on the cruise anyway

they let themselves get talked into it

they lied to themselves

                      thatll learn em

birds are birds

not romanticised souls

the possibility of romancesex was probably the slender straw that broke the camels back an got em drowned in the middle of the ocean  at night  phosphorescence like a blanket or halo glowing around beneath them  fuck   a deep breath of salttangy air  cleansing   probably a hysterical laugh a sputtering exhalelungs emptying  empty heavy  then diving downclawing deep deepdeeper  AIR! they cant shaddup their brainits wants to livethey reversethey try to swim back up to the surface  its black now

they blackout

1431,  Thursday,  1  2. 18

1036,  Friday.  2  2. 18

"I think it's terrible. It's a disgrace what's going on in this country," Trump told reporters. "When you look at that, and you see that, a lot of people should be ashamed of themselves and much worse than that."

the crackpot calling the kettle black

https://www.npr.org/2018/02/02/582666768/trump-leans-into-attack-on-fbi-as-clock-ticks-toward-release-of-nunes-memo utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20180202&utm_campaign=breakingnews&utm_term=nprnews

some people just ought to stay inside an talk to their mirrors

did anyone else recognise during SOTU that the pot was doing his level best to impersonatethough shabby Il Duce  Mussolini

0943,  Friday,  2  2. 18

1083 days remaining or less

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Br0DCEEBplY

dead something in the dirt by the side of the road

he saw it from the bus one day returning home

a week an a half later going in the other directionsitting on the left he saw that he saw it correctly

returning that afternoon he disembarked at the stop prior an walked approximately a mile an a half to the dead something

it seemed to him on second viewing that it was a large dog

it was

reduced desiccated  seemed it had laid there a long time

leathered flesh patchy fur exposed snapped bones

its body cavity hollowed out  morsels absent

its contorted pose suggested it was struck by a vehiclehurled by the impact to where it lay

the dog reminded him of deer he found at the edge of forest preserves in Illinois  their mangled corpses revealed as the snow thawed an receded  their rot wet

however this was California  an this dog laid at the threshold of an acred ranchette 

there wasnt a fenceline 

the dog was beyond the shallow drainage gulley that ran beside the rural highway

it was incomprehensible to him that the landowner houseowner hadnt buried the grisly remains

the dogs face bore the unmistakable death grimacethat painful consciousness  This aint right

any evidence of the impact on the road had weathered or was run-overed away 

he couldnt help himself

he walked up the long graded driveway to a three-car garage  four pickup trucks were arrayed on the broad concrete apron

he followed a gravel an paver walkway that paralleled the face of the house that paralleled the highway

he rapped on the door  measured  hard enough he felt to rouse someone in the kitchen at the rear of the househed drawn enough an built enough of these to ascertain an approximate floor plan

bootsteps approached the door

the foyer was tiled

the wide wide wood front door swept open

a big man barrelchested blue jeans gut leaning on a thick leather belt an huge ornate buckle  Yes

Hello

What do you wantyoure on private property

Obviously

What do you want

I dont want anything  Theres a dead dog at the front of your property

the dull expression on his unshaven faceone eyebrow peaking slightly was affirmation

it was the big mans turn to turn a card

he retained the conversational posture he took after knocking at the door

The dead dog    So

So nothing

I didnt want to assume anything  Though its nice to confirm what I suspected   Unfortunately

Thank you for your time

I hope I didnt interrupt you from something important

he turned and walked away

he didnt hear the door shut until he was nearly halfway back to the highway

a few weeks later in the local papercolumn entitled Red Light Round Up he read that the all-volunteer fire department descended on a haphazard fire that burned at the front of the mans property

he softly sucked his teeth over a cup of coffee  Haphazard fire   No    Called a pyre

saw it Twosday, 24  1. 18

afternoon,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  1. 18

if ya got a weak stomach   step away

                                        the following is a dramatisation of the Drumpf Presidency an Administration  performed by Brad Pitt  as the Mueller Investigation closes in https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lBNXvIna2U

mess with a bull ya get the horns

even a retard knows that

2326,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  1. 18

1085 days remaining or less

Ahhum  uhHum    ahuhhmm  clearing my throat   Not that I would wish J Edgar Hoover would resurrect

but imagine if he did

imagine if this Administration an congressional Republicans tried their hands against Hoover an his FBI

he would have cut em off

                         an make it look like someone else did it

0042,  SuperBloodMoon Day-between-Two-Ts,  31  1. 18

Mary Hopkins  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1SIexPh3ic

Mygawd that was painful  The State of the Union   got home from work an played it on youtube -- cunt was virtually facing left the whole speech -- Ill only invoke intone His name once  not ejaculate it as a pearl necklace around Americas throat as he did  

                an I was right  got no fuckinbets  not once was Russias assault on our democracy decried 

0010,  Day-between-Two-Ts, anticipating the Super Blood Moon, a härbənjər for Republicans for the reminder of the year (let em figure it out),  31  1. 18

1085 days remaining or less

any bets anyfuckinbets?! that The State of the Union(my hats off asshats) judiciouslyHA read from teleprompters  Stay on point Mr Lord stay on point pleads his staff that no remark will be made regarding Russias assault on our democracy  except  mebbe an apology to Putin for making his sham presidential election difficult  some members of American media the Fake News refuse to cease pursuing their trumped up facts 

1536,  Twosday,  30  1. 18

1086 days or fewer remaining

a heavilytatted wellbuilt Mexican walked into the liquorstore sounds like the start of a jokehuh he walked in just ahead of his girlfriend who his eyes stared in spite of him was dropdead Latin gorgeous 

over his shoulder the Mexican asked herriffed something he couldnt hear make out

he stood upright from the crouch he was in before a stack of wine to greet themtheyd obviously need his help  he was a liquor lifeguard a liquor lifesaver savior  Welcome to Bennies  How may I help

the Mexican said Just came from Pine Street Saloonhad a drink thereMoscow mule fantastican they said they make theirs with a ginger beerwhat she call that babe

Yeah Bull

Dont think bullremember cock  he turned to him  I think talking cock deferring to her or talking bull

Talking cock

I might have misunderstood

Ohno I like it  Talking cock

That might be my goto  With it Ill probably sell more than if I call it Cock ‘n Bull ginger beer Talking cock   Really man

I only halfheard what she said

Talking cock  Halfheard  I think Idve stopped cold an asked again  he turned to her As well  if I heard talking bull

yaint gettin off the hook either

But I thought for sure she said talking bull  Talking cock is preposterous   

he almost couldnt bear to look at her she was that goodlooking  I wouldnt say preposterousnot if it was talking to you  Just a matter of growing a lung an vocal cords  he turned back to the Mexican  How many drinks you two have

We had the onedefinitely wanted morebut figured we could work it out at home cheaper

Yeah  Then I could get out of this dress

You two need to stop talking over memy heads going places it shouldnt bean youre dragging me there  I think its grounds for sexual harassment

they burst out laughing

So with that Ill leave you to your talking cocktalking bull an your devises  Keep your dress on girl until you leave otherwise I might not be able help myselffollow yous home  mebbe enjoy a talkin Moscow mule 

Shes beautifulyeah

Your girlfriend is beautifulyes

he turned back to herlooked her in the eyes  Youre absolutely beautiful

Thank you  she blushed

Yeahman

Thank you  still blushing  Its good genetics  You ought to see my mom

I think Id like that but I wouldnt dare disrespect your dad

He awfully handsome toomy dad

Then apparently you were a shooincouldnt miss meant to be

Yes Probably

Ill leave you two to it

Thanks for the selling point

1907,  Saturday,  27  1. 18

1256,  Monday,  29  1. 18

walking to the back of the bar to the restroomswho the fuck chooses to sit by bathrooms he overheard a slovenly white guy Fuckin uppity bitchestheir shit dont stink  ha  but we got news for themwere takin em downtakin em down hard

the man was invested in his words  blotto  however the length of a frothy piss wash his hands and returning hed still be be able to catch his bithis ravingcawing like a crow from atop of an electric pole  no entanglement of tree branches

. . . it was sweet  she was walking with her head upher titties bouncing with her steps  Admire me Admire mebet youd wanna be who I share dese tits wid  Yaknow the kind

the pack before him nodded  they knew exactly the type of women  too good for them  who wouldnt look twice in their direction of course the kicker would benot that they saw  they werent worth looking at twice  they were the kind that leered at a womanundressed them in their heads imagined themselves at their titsplayin with themfuckin them in some bestial rut or rape NO  no didnt really mean no  Dont tell me baby I know what ya likewhaya want  their fantastic miasma was thick  a gray emanating stench 

So the bitch was walkin in the parkin lot an I ploughed into her from behindright side  Damn  She stumbled HA almost didnt go down but she was wearing dem fuckin highhigh heels  She piled headlong into the back end of an old Ford truck  Which was my intent  BAM   Headlong into its steel bumper  No give  Fucked her up goodIm sure

some thin cowboylegs out straight ahead of himakimbo bootheels marring the linoleum Bitch saw starsI like it  She deserved it Deall deserve it Gettin too fuckin uppitymarchin an shitchallengin menchallengin the way it isought to be  Dey cows  Everdamn one cows  Nigger rap got it right

Righton  Saw stars  Sure she did  Truck rocked  She lay there mewing  Poor kitty  Fuckin sack er an drown er in a river  Bitch

a guy weavingstanding still gripping a structural wood post at the huddles rear Tellem the best partthe best part my part

Awrightawright  Will there  an Jameshe nodded to a guy sittin to the right nearest the womens room  dey filmed it wid their cells from different positions  Fuckin hilarious  James got her sputtering blood  She looked like she was hurtin

they quieted  a woman approached and had to excuse herself stepping through their knot over their legs  they didnt move for her

James was the last she passed  he mimed MOO as she went by him  the clutch kept their laughs quiet 

when the door shut James mooed and they laughed aloud  As long as des bitches keep it up well put em down Dey wanna march dey wanna show off their titties in their slutwalksgot that right

Amen brother

Got that right  Slutwalks  Keep it up bitcheswell knock ya senseless

he wondered if these cunts didnt share their videoswondered if police were keeping assaults against women under wrapsprotecting the affluent college that basically founded their community its draw  their meal ticket    

he was outnumbered

his first inclination was to pick up a chair an start slamming heads  second inclination was go out to his truckgrab the five gallon can of gas an come back slosh them with it then set them on fire

but he knew howd that look

unprovoked

unwitnessed

            except by these jamokesthese fuckin idiotsfuckin misogynists  fuckin losers

he had an idea

he ordered another beer another pint of water  he bided his time

James left

Will left

the others broke rank an filed out mellpell

he left  in the parking lot were several vehicles  he bet the ramshackle Ford belonged to the mouth  he parked in front of the steel trash bin

the flickering neon lights that coloured the parking lot went out  closing time

he leaned against his truck an lit a cigarette

mouth came out an weaving on the concrete stoop he lit a cigarette  smoked a bit  

takin a deep inhale then blowin the smoke into the sky like a bellow he hitched up his jeans at the crotch and zigzagged towards his truck oblivious

he was the man

he was the man who never saw him coming

as mouth was reaching his truckreaching for the door handle his keys chiming in his other hand he piledrived him from behind into the trash bin

he had hoped for a GOONNNG  the bin was full

mouth never got his hands up

ouch

mouth twitched on the gravel like a worm cut for fishing

gurgled

he turned his back on him and didnt pay no attention any more

walking away he wished the setup injured photographed woman might feel something in the air tonight wherever she was

he had a pretty good memory for faces

the clutch looked like regulars

he hummed the Stones Time is on my side

Yes it is

1514 approximately,  Saturday,  27  1. 18

1156, Sunday,  28  1. 18

Stones  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHVeyo4W18U

Yasee that

Huh

I asked if ya saw that  Along the side of the road

Im driving  Why would I see something along the side of the road

Because yare drivingHow do ya drive tunnelvision  Yareyes are supposed to be constantly working sideview mirror rearview sideview sideview rearview Who the fuck taught ya to drive I was taught correctly

Whoddafuck taught ya to drive

I dont remember  They picked me up at our house

Ya didnt take Drivers Ed at high school

No

No

No  I told you they came by the house and picked me up

I  I dont know what to say  Ya never saw the Drivers Ed films where they sliced human brains like meatloaf showed dismembered bodies severed limbs inside an outside of crashed cars a human head sitting perfectly upright on the side of a road looking like it was modeling to become a car manufacturers hood ornament

Hood ornament

Cars used to sport fantastic hood ornaments  elongated   standing still they inclined ya to think they were speedingbuffeting blunt headwinds soaring in blue jet streams  gave every indication of speed

No

Ya fuckin missed out

Ornamentshood ornaments   Can say that I think I did                                         

Yadid  Some even looked like hoodmounted missiles an ya couldnt help but imagine as ya gained on a car ahead of ya that ya were going to close launch a rocket an blow it clearoff the roadMad Max style 

Sounds violent

Car crashes are violent  Ya never saw an educational car crash filmJesus

Drivers Ed was always the period before lunch Blood Bone Brains Gore  I ate my lunchbut a lot of kids didnt  I remember some kids fleeing the room to vomit  Drivers Ed room was located inbetween the girls an boys bathrooms

Ya could hear some kids vomiting through the walls

Boy talk about missin out

Nope  Can say I think I missed out

Ya wouldnt know

When yave missed somethingyave missed it  Like just along the side the road  An missing it is not having the experience an not having the experience negates any opinion ya might have about something yaknow nothing about

Thats gotta make sense

I havent eaten monkeybrains like in Indiana Jones  but I can say I wouldnt Therefore I have a plausible opinion

Plausible  An ignorant   If I slipped cooked monkeybrains in with yar cherished rice pudding or tapioca ya might enjoy em  Thatd blow a hole in yar opinion

Id know something was off 

Ive seen ya gobble yar dessert I don think ya would

An thats your opinion

An did you see that along the side of the road

I did not

Christ

What did you see

Along the side the roadtwice now  it appears as if someone has mummified dead owls struck by night traffic  Theyre bound upright kinda like the crosses people would leave at sites where loved ones died in car crashes  In Montana before a curvebefore a bridge someone erected seven whitepainted iron crosses one on top of two on top of four  like a squatblanched Christmas tree  not that Indians celebrate Christmas  this was at the edge of an Indian reservation

Can you shutup

Excuse me

Youre babbling

Im tellin ya what Ive seen

Youve seen two bird mummies along the side of the road

Yes  Definitely  Unmistakable

Thats pushing the envelope

Yanot sufferin high school Drivers Ed pushes an envelope  Fuckin public education is eroding  Investing in American infrastructure is investing in its children talk about child abuse

                                                               Seems to me long ago a lot of old white men should have croaked sooner than they did theyve fucked this nation in the guts via Warhols Flesh for Frankenstein




later they passed a third owl mummy  and the driver saw it

Mondays road trip to San Francisco,  22  1. 18

1156,  Saturday,  27  1. 18

Flesh for Frankenstein  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m40Bs7Ko5dw

Germanys Nu Pagadi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_Mo7cCo5S8

“There has never been a better time to hire, to build, to invest, and to grow in the United States.”  cunt told Davos

buy low sell high 

cunt cracked him up

                    any foreign business entity thinking of putting its toeits wallet in America  pussyfooting in its roiling political landscape  really ought to think very very hard if it can make money(Free Market – maximise and accumulate wealth) in a twisted despondent America where its razor thin political majority has eight times depended upon the Vice-cunts vote to preserve the majority(in eight years Vice-President Joe Biden never once cast a tie-breaking voteNOT ONCE)

he thought it might be hard for any foreign business entity to hire to build to invest to grow in America while anxiously looking over its shoulderprotecting its back  he had no doubt however that armed security would protect an defend their interests  literally playing a lethal role   after all  America has its drone program an isnt accountable to any nation OVER THERE  seemed to him an foreign entity could kill Americans OVER HERE an like Americansjustified by Americans-without-spines  not blink once at those purported necessary deaths   

perhaps one last consideration  YO!

when entering a deeplydivided Nation

(he was keepin his eye on tourism numbers)

                                                Nationalise it yeah yeah  Dont criticise it

                                                (mused to Peter Toshs Legalise It)

1024, Saturday,  27  1. 18

https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2018/01/trump-davos/551567/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=politics-daily-newsletter&utm_content=20180126&silverid=MzI3NDE2MDg4ODMyS0

Tosh  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6QkVTx2d88

Davos  Drumpf  cunt

                     he hadnt yet read how his Make America Great Again -- America First speech played  if he stayed on pointon teleprompter   

other world representatives werent as deranged as Americas  some  but not most

he imagined they witnessed cunts speech as Dorothy might  absentlyquietly clicking her ruby heels together wishing she were home  however not to Brownbacks Kansas  a state raped and pillaged by yet more Republican hubris muthafuckers have cornered the market an blatant ignorance winkwink

I AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!!

                                            all smoke an mirrorslubricants and big black Viagra suppositories – ya didnt know ya could getem in vanity size an colourshuh? (available to all said?billionaires)

he wasnt in a hurry either -- like cleaning a catbox

1505,  Friday,  26  1. 18   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZR64EF3OpA

he was counting on work to give him something to work with tonight

                                                                         NO PRESSURE

keep his eyeballs peeled ears open imagination like a pool of petro waiting on a spark mebbe the low spark of highheeled boys a spark a match a casuallyflipped cigarette

thats how forest fires start

                           an he had no Smokey the Bear hairy muscular arms crossed over his bruin chest to protect himhis realm NO he had no Deputy Dawg Fritz the Cat Quick Draw McGraw or his faithful sidekick Baba Looey no Three Stooges Marx Brothers Abbott an Costello no Dude or Walter or Donny Jesus Quintana bringing up the rear

he was on his own

he played with matcheshe anticipated the FIREthe smoke assh embers roilingspiraling into the night sky like fleet lightning bugs  its smell brother

                              barbecue! meat on a spit carved from the bone with a knife an fingers

his kidbrothers birthday was today  his parents had five kids over fifty  

during the night two women came into the store  it was their birthdays too

he asked them innocently enough if they celebrated their birthdays with birthday spankings NO  then one asked if it was too late to start  her boyfriend rather than picking up on his lead got butthurt an mealymouthed  Hey man  I opened the doorall ya gotta do is walk in  he left the store ahead of her  He’s a jealous sort she said  he said Jealousy is nothing more than a lack of confidenceyou dont strike me as a kind of woman who gives him reasons to be jealous
No no  I surely don’t  It’s just the way he is   Well as long as you know it an can tolerate it

then another woman came in to buy a Don Julio 1942  she was on her way to spend the evening with a friend who was having her boithday thats what she said  boithday  which immediately fetched his heart  boithday was his vernacular  Yaknow  youre the third person whos been in tonight whos either celebrating their boithday or going to spend time with someone who is  And its my kidbrothers boithday too  I suppose Easter sex  Resurrection he wanted to say resurrerection but he was at work an they just met she was getting off light  Oh gosh! she said That would be nine months earlier
It wood she wouldnt pick up on his double etendre

he emaled his kidbrother earlier in the day  wished him Happy Boithday! hoping that he was taking the day to himself he usually worked took extra hours on his boithday  which threw him for a loop  he couldnt remember the last time he worked on his boithday THATS MY DAY IT AINT FOR SALE  but then his thinking might have been misaligned during his youthhe gave himself more credit than people usually allowed themselvesthey needed pats on the backacknowledgement  somehow for some reason he never didhe saw it as nothing more than flattery vanity  an if one was susceptible to flattery  then like greed  there was no top to it

his kidbrother wrote him back :  I am doing nothing today. Prudence and I are sitting around doing nothing! Getting ready to go out for dinner, but other than that nothing!!           

personally hed never date a woman named Prudence letalone marry her  what would you call her for short

he didnt have to worry thathe lived on the Left Coast an they lived on the East

his kidbrother didnt even acknowledge his boithday wishes :  I am doing nothing today.

fuck that noise  he wrote back :  Nothing. Sitting in the livingroom. No conversation, or talking about the weather? Sipping coffee or tea, to put off the cold? Noshing? What restaurant? What do you think you might have for dinner? 

NOTHING?  It's your boithdayChrist -- the one day a year to grab by the throat an tearup . . .  

he heard nothing furthur from him 

but it was his boithday to do as he pleased  

if people often confounded him  siblings utterly perplexed him

how was it they grew up in the same house with the same parents the same circumstances an didnt resemblerather act or were moved similarly

                                                                       not remotely 

seven siblings  but  perhaps there are ramifications to ones birthing order  the first childfirst sonfirst daughter  second childsecond sonsecond daughterfirst sonfirst daughter an on an on

he was firstborn

he told everyone he took his genetics off the topshelf  left slim pickings  it wasnt greed  if he didnt take it an left it to the next an his parents didnt have another child the shitd go to waste  so he took everything he could carry an stuffed his pockets  he didnt waste a thing  there was too much Need in the world that didnt get it to waste anythingnot a damn thing

birthing order

he had little sympathy for things that happened beyond his control

since he was born first he had no imaginationno lake of fire for being born second or third or fourth or a girl

he couldnt imagine you just didnt lean forwardnose to the grindstone an do life

he was darkly optimistic

the cash an transactions were counted  safe locked  punched out on the timeclock  end of the day

work held out on him  it was times like thesestanding in the stark moonlighthe clutched his filthy skirt to his thighs in his grimy hands an like Scarlett O'Hara cried As God is my witness as God is my witness theyre not going to lick me  Im going to live through this an when its all over Ill never be hungry again . . . if I have to lie steal cheat or kill  As God is my witness Ill never be hungry again

                                    ahwell  a little hyperbole now an again isnt a bad thing 

1559,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  24  1. 18

1039,  Thursday,  25 1. 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RhI1vERr-0  Scarlett looks phallic as the camera pulls back