It does not seem to me, Austerlitz
added, that we understand the laws governing the return of the past, but I feel
more and more as if time did not exist at all, only various spaces interlocking
according to rules of a higher form of stereometry(the measure of solid
bodies), between which the living and the dead can move back and forth as they
like, and the longer I think about it the more it seems to me that we who are
alive are unreal in the eyes of the dead, that only occasionally, in certain
lights and atmospheric conditions, do we appear in their field of vision (pg
185 W G Sebalds Austerlitz).
that was one helluva sentence sentience
it rocked himstopped him on the
streetmade him slip his thumb between the pages and close the book it thumped him in the chest like a rifle butt
momentarily arresting his heart stroking his brain blackening his cognitive
powers
he would say he reeled
“appear in their field of
vision”
that kinda turned him on his head how the
deadghosts appeared in his field of vision
they didnt walk through each othernot that you wouldnt think you couldnt
walk through a spirits immaterialityan incorporeal ghost like walking through
fog or vapours or that they couldnt walk
through youpass through you as if you were a sieve atoms sidestepping atom
whispers delicately flowing through whispers then reengaged whole intact on the other sidenever once thinking of
yourself an other side
Austerlitz was referring to his
parents
World War II was imminent they sent him away to England but a 4 year old boy
to save his life his mother a Jewess an actress his father a political
adversarya necessary refugee who otherwise would be killed
it is difficult to fathom the audacitybrazenness
of the Nazi Party Third Reich its regime its desired Lebensraum(open space) its
attendant curative Untermenschen(racially or socially inferior non-Aryans)
policy reminiscent of these freaks we havehave had across the country decrying
their nativism and inthesamebreath their European heritage – its one or the
other – he urged their European ancestry because nativism should be
left to the First People tribes who flourished throughout North and Central
and South America some who suffered bounties placed on their heads seeking their
extermination unless of course their
nativist cry is meant to insist incite or invite their particular extermination
he was confident thats not
what they meant seemed counterproductive
to creating a White Aryan homeland
which
America never was
he had to get his hands on some of their hallucinogens
no delusion could be that pervasivethat
powerful
his ghosts saw him
otherwise he didnt think they
wouldnt back away when he acknowledged their presencewhen he addressed them
directly got to his feet and walked towards them
they didnt seem distressed fearful
perhaps put-out as any of us might be if we felt things werent
going the way we wanted
a child could understand that
they reversed field waft
away defusing as they went
he found himself alone in an empty
hallway saying Hello Hello Hello
he had no names to call them
there was an older man
he appeared in the hall and
neared the threshold of their bedroom
he never entered
there was an old woman
she never materialised to him
his girlfriend however saw her
repeatedly usually in the kitchen
there was a young woman a bit of a sprite
his girlfriend had never seen her
though often felt her mischievous presence
she materialised to him floating above him as he laid in bed
she knew his namecalled him his name
he was sure she shared his name
with the man and woman
often they drew his
attention woke him in the dead of night
making noise in the livingroom
they woke his girlfriend their cat
his girlfriend was nervous
someone was breaking and entering
Baby Weve nothing of value except what we personally value
he went into the hall
indie and his girlfriend stayed in bed held down
the fort
he checked the studio kitchen
livingroom diningroom No one he was careful not to say Not a soul
then returning to the bedroomstill in
the hall he barked over his shoulder Yawanna keep it down People are
trying to sleepget some rest We got work in the morning
the end until the next time
his experiences didnt support
Austerlitzs
but he rationalised that it wasnt necessary
they did
those were his
1202, Moanday,
11 9. 17
1601, Twosday, 12 9. 17
