30.4.25

. . . ansince you brought mortality up
                                           Didn’t, you did. You said while you waited in the reception anarenever without a book pen or paper, you wrote a letter to your girlfriend and wrote about your mortality, recalled, the immortality of your youth.

Yamust have said something tha piqued me to tell you about the letter

    I did mention cremation.
There
        Whas your route

My route?

You die  Your bodys cremated

Yes.
     As you.

Yah

    Idea  Lets cut a deal

A deal.

Hear me out
               One of us is going to precede the other
Surely. Barring an unforeseen event that would remove uskill us at the same time.

Barring tha yah
                              The deal

The deal.

Whoever dies first the other buries him

For what purpose?

To fuck with the bereaved

To fuc . . . you listen to yourself?

Hear me out hear me out

    Awright awright.    Listening.

A wakewakes before the funeral an interment
                                                     Where?
A nice spot  Shade tree nearby   Birds


    I’m listening.

The wakewakes you or I hire some knockout chicks twothree  four believable    four woud be believable for me knockout chicks to mourn us weep  their tears wet our face they embrace us kiss us buhbye
                                                                                                          Yadig
Knockout professional mourners
Imagine the expressions in the room

They had no ideadidnt know tha we were seein these women


Voluptuous. Professional. Mourners.

    Wha can I say

                            Im the idea guy
 

Itd be a hoot   

1222,  Tuesday,  29  4. 25
1205,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

Ingest

Digress
         Ohmy

Imagine wha walls coud reveal if they coud speak
                                                            Ya trustem

Walls?

Walls

Really?

Imagine if you calledem dumb  irritatedem
                                                They coud repeat word  simple word for word wha they heard
Think skiff


If dumb  they havent the sense to invent or interpret
                                                       They  as a matter of fact betray wha they overheard 
They echo

They divulge


    Im kind to my walls I can trustem

They cannot improve or diminish wha theyve heard

The words are nailed in their ears

1903,  Tuesday,  29  4. 25
1123,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

he anthropomorphised everything

I . . I imperiled myself

they were hiking  How’s that?

My weight

Weight?

Have been guessin my weight

What do you mean guess?

I havent a scale

I have one.

Why

he smiled  To check my weight.

How often you do tha
                       I didnt have a scale till I got marriedevidently  a home is not a happy home until we were able to weigh ourselves We had to have a bathroom scale

I didnt fight it

What happened to that scale?

    Ive no idea I   honestly  cant ever remember using it

 

To answer your question, I weigh myself every day.     
Routine

Habit. Yeah.

    So what does a scale, your weight, have anything to do with imperiling yourself?

I picked up a friend from an out-patient surgery yesterday
                                                              Before takin him home I had to use the restroom
I asked the clinic receptionist if I could utilise the facilities 

    Utilize the facilities.
                          So very polite.
Yah Tidbit my Maw taught me

Utilised it washed my hands lo an behold  theres a scale in there  Wha the fuck right
                                                                                           Im twenty pounds heavier than I thought I was

That’s a good thing, because, you’ll excuse me for saying so, you’re, slender, lean.

Tha was expected with my change of dietexpected to lose weight

Prior, you carried your weight well.

Different times  Gym rat then

So what was your peril?

At the weight I thought I was  I underestimated myself
                                                                Queer
How so?

When facing an adversary opponent   I do not underestimate them Tha can lead to a world of hurt

    Does tha make sense
 

I think so.

Yah

And particularly so, given you have no problem confronting someone anyone; aggressively.

My thinkin too
                I feel better for recognising it

I can fight my way out of a paper bag  figuratively   literally 
      
2222,  Twosday,  29  4. 25
1023,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

29.4.25


    zeal 
          word peels off your tongue
                                      pronounced     unfortunate
asif your tongue hasnt stiffened  denied itsBEAT

    whiskey beatzeal

hashish zeal
                  zealously fired  feral
erupting
               Away  Standback from the fumesbreath  red ashes
                                                                      scarringbrands
that twist
congeal
tattoo
           only its  imaginings
your flesh
              calfskin sheepskin  your fleshparchment
stitched

    your fleshNO
                    No

Not yours    not yours    not    yours  




zeal

1922,  Tuesday,  29  4. 25

28.4.25


   she said persuade

she was fit  vivacious    single which in her vernacular meant never married
                                                                           If I divorced I’d say I was divorced.
he liked her candor


several mutual friends decided they would make a nice couple

they suggested to him first
                             he said No  Why so square they were couples
Nowadaysif Im not mistaken  men neednt carry the ball  womenif interested  can ask

they must have put the screws to her

trying to put them to him theyd strip out screwheads


one couple calledinvited him to a small party they were throwing

It’s a pool party, to celebrate summer.
                                         she laughed gayly I’m calling it Let’s Get Wet!
he always enjoyed her enthusiasm
they dated

she did
       

    You’ll come, won’t you?

he had no reason to sniff anything out

he believed it was understood  he made his own bed
                                                         owed that to his mother
a no-nonsense gal

when relationships veered badly after sheunsolicited warned it would
                                                                            she was cucumber cold
Made your own bed, now sleep in it.



Persuade he asked

she wasnt coy

    she relented she said that they were convinced she could bring him out of his shell
I could persuade you.

feeling his mothers pale steelblue eyes at the back of his head  coolly  Seduce me

Except for the C  the letters to seduce are in persuade 
                                                           See  Si

she wrote the words on a cocktail napkin with the red Bic pen he notoriously carried everywhere tucked over his ear

    Ohyes.  They are similar, look similar.

Are similar
             Youll not try to seduce me

handing the pen back she smiled great dimpleswere a plus in her column Has anyone everprior to now, uttered those words?

I don believe in one-offs


they hit it off

evening came surprisingly fast

 

there was a pool table in the couples home
                                              You play
I do. I’m quite good.

Good enough to bet on your game I can

As can I.

Wanna play

How much?

Not money   Clothing

    Clothing?

Im wearing  twothree    five  five articles of clothing
                                                          You
    
    Six.

Eightball for clothing

Nineball?

Well alternate

Let’s do that.

Now
      When one of us has lost their clothingupstairs well go to one of the bedrooms strip in order of our losses
Youre game
             Not askinagin

I’m game.

flipped a coin for the break she won
                                       The first of many. she said chuckling soft dimples 
called nineball promptly beat him  a keen combination to sink the nine early

on a cocktail napkin with the Bic he wrote his name

she beat him in eightball  a fine carom off his eleven into the side pocket

wrote his name again

he returned the favour an equally early nineball combination

wrote her name

then wrote her name a second time

wrote his

hers

                  four straight


while they played people wandered into the room
                                                    however witnessing their intensitytheir silent only sound the knockcollision of the balls they left without remarks
                                                           took to watching them from outside through windows that ran the length of the room


they returned the cues to the rack

he followed her upstairs

the bedroom had horizontal Venetian blinds a door that lead to a private patio

Before we begin
                  he crossed the foot of the bed to the door to the lightswitch on the wall
turned it on

Would you please turn off the overhead light

pliantly  she did
                   he saw anger build in her face during the last two games competitive anger though it dissolved as he ran the table during the final nineball game accepting her fate

he adjust the blinds striped the room
                                         he estimated fiftyfive percent dark slats
This okay

You’re generou . .
. . Not so quick
                When your naked  the overheads on again
I intend to thoroughly enjoyno doubt my winnings

a lighted slat ran across her mouth
big grin
          enormous dimples

0018,  Monday,  28  4. 25
1141,  Monday

27.4.25


more than twelve years
                          every evening he was home  and looked south out his kitchen window  two houses down  four panes  illuminated by the yellow room beyond

    not a shadow cast
fixed

electric

constant


before he went to bed hed look to satisfy his curiosity
                                                          panes lighted
he had no idea who lived there

he had no curiosity to learn

    twelve years and
he believed
              twelve years into the future

the panes would be lit


evenings he burned candles in rooms he inhabited
                                                      was tantalised by their febrilenervous motions  expressions
windows closed

drafts existed
                holes
in the souls

of three who died in the house long before he moved in
                                                           who occasionally visited
who he welcomed


understood two had built the house with their own hands
                                                              the third
their young daughter who preceded them

overdosed
in the room that he used as a studio

    she came more than they
                               she
knew his name

had spoken it on many occasions
                                    he asked hers
she didnt say


often at night she was over his shoulder as he wrote

    she withheld sweet nothings

Whas your name

You know mine


    silence

2339,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

  :  :  he makes his bed like a poor person


Yasee tha
             Whyd he text himself

Comon some guys he knew some girls he dated were from families who employed maids to tend maintain their homes

Awyah  I didnt forget I misplaced it
                                          A good reminder
I remember he distanced himself from them short order

He did
         Birds of a feather flock together chuckled   Flockfuckem

They liked himhe coud have benefited
Him  Please
              Cant align this cats stripes with anyoneshas always moved to the beat of a different drummer

Thoreau  Walden

Thoreauly

Really
         Hes rubbin off on you

Youre pretty new round here
                                Before you know it youre infected too

You been here long

Me love live in him long time
                              Caught a whiff headed in his direction Even then cat ought to have turned on the red neon NO VACANCY sign but somehow   nobody minds

    I don mind

No ya don
             Ifya did ya woudnt be occupied
If fire marshals were built for this gig hed be shut down

Shut down
               You think anyone coud shut him down

See how quick youve learned
                               No
Theyd have to kill him  Youve heard him

Every hills a hill to die on
                                Whastha new word he found

Contumacious

Yah  Cunt-umacious

Assuredly so
               Like I said Have to kill him  Hes dyed in the rough

So texting  he makes his bed like a poor person

To remind himself where he came from an grateful he did

Salt of the earth

Dirt
     Black earth from which anything coud grow woud be nourished
Even weeds

Wes

Coud say thas how we arrived  

1952,  Sunday,  23  3. 25
1343,  Sunday,  27  4. 25

he tipped the book away from his face
                                         she caught that  What?
My Gawd Wanna listen to this sentence

If it rocked you hellyah.

The books Playground  Richard Powers

Oh yes I remember . . . . Overstory?   You read that.
Yah
      I encouraged you to read it

Probably why I remember the name Powers, no I haven’t read it.

You will or you wont
                       So much to read so little time

Priorities Then those tha strike out of the blue

So leaning back against the arm of the sofa she threw her legs up on his lap rub my feet as you read?

Its only one sentence kiddo

A sentence waylaid you?

Yah  Listen
                It was a kind of reciprocal autoerotic strangulation of the soul and both parties were generous givers and grateful recipients.

placed a bookmarker

began rubbing her feet in earnest

Both parties


    Yes.  That feels so good. Thank you.

Always  Youre welcome
                             The parties

Yes.

The narrators parents
OhJesus.
Yah

    Well.   If I have to say, it’s sounds like your kind of book.

he nodded  kept rubbing her feet
                                     Say.
Yah

Heading to bed last night a page dropped from your sheath of papers. Picking it up I read the first four words. I thoughtI know they’re unpolished, but I thought you might elaborate.

I love elaborating you
                        As much as I can whenever I can  gently pinched her big toe
she giggled  dimples
                       You wrote Joycean, I get that, followed by I’ll spell  O  Y  C  E  A  N  I  C, oceanic’s there . .
. . Yah   O  Y  fed into wha followed
Yes.
       Jew bait.

Yah  Ulysses

Yes.

Joyce wrote that only a foreigner would do   Bloom his main character

I’ve not read it.

Priorities
           I was playing with the worddropped J  Joyceanic  Oy was tantalising  Yiddish

Oy veh. Woe is me.

he laughed  Yah
                   Wha followed was a summary elaboration a character who never methadnt ever met a Jew who cast from saltwater shallows into the surf fishing for rockfish cabezon lingcod greenling living dragons seabottom dinosaurs quickly dispatched by a priest Nicehuh  Crack on the skull

Dispatched?   I’m curious, why dispatched?

Euphemism  Sounds humane
                                 Can imagine one might prefer being dispatched to being killed to parts realms unknown unseen unfounded

Oyceanic inspired me

Still workin it

    Awbaby, that feels so soo good. shimmied her heel against his cock  I dig how your brain works.   

11PMishmash,  Saturday,  26  4. 25
1210,  Sunday,  27  4. 25
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