when you watch for deer you see deer

                                                    phantom deer

coming down out of the hills highCareful

                                            Drivin while under the influence . . .

Fackyou  Not driving drunk

Under the influence   Stoned

Two entirely different things an I knowIve done both

Donsound so proud  You forget our lives are on the lineothers too  in other vehicles

Don sneer donsneer

                       Cant see itbreathin down the back of my neck but I can hear it in your voiceyou look around

    Look around

Rural   Watchin for deer drivin back roads

Like tha . .

. . Matters

          Look at me Completin your wordsthoughts   Matters    Yah

Comon bigmouth   Call it a dozen times

Anintha time  how many carshow many vehicles woudya say coming at us from the opposite direction

I coudnt say

Coudnt   Why

    Headlights

Yah some tha turned before we were evenonem    Yah

 

Yes

Ohyesnotyah

                

                       Whoya ridin wid

indignant  Yah

Better better

              Id have to guesscuz I didnt count Not half the times ridin home    Under the influenceDeer

Deer

Yahdeer  phantom deer    More deer phantom deer than vehicles

                                                                       Gimme tha

Ill give you tha

Antherest of the monkeys  behind ya

                                         Gimmetha

It is a consensus

We concur

 

We  Do

    Then sit backshaddup  Watch for deer enjoy the ride

 

Fackin solicitous mariachi   

1919,  Sunday,  20  10. 24

0943,  Sunday,  1  12. 24

Sergio Mendes e Brazil ‘66  Look Around  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4n-4utYZ7hE

King of the Hill

    No    

          Really

where he lived

out of reach

try an reach him

hell see you comin

enjoys the highground

was ideal

           no one can see anything but the drive to the sky from the road  hes at the back of the lot 

the pinnacle

    thats what he calls the house  Pinnacle

                                              boasts  Ive reached the Pinnacle

not publicallydoesnt socialise

                               doesnt – despite being an odd thingsome say an awful thing to say – need people 

No

     Best thing I can say

Its excellent I get along with myself

                                     spoken like a true introvertferal introvert

if hed offer advicewhich he wouldnt hed tell all introverts to find a hill live on it or  or   OR  dig a moat around your housekeep the drawbridge up

his family lives back east

they called for Thanksgiving

                               You got plans?

I do

 

    What are your plans? suppose they have to ask

Im dining at home

Who with?anyone you’ve mentioned? suppose they have to ask

No one

    You’re going to be alone?

they stillall these years later dont understand that given his imagination

                                                                                 he is never alone

    . . . excellent thing I get along with myself

Hey agitatedshruggin his shouldersjabbin his elbows Yawanna step backgimme some room

 

2233,  Thursday – Thanksgiving,  28  11. 24

1903,  Saturday,  30  11. 24

he began to say interesting but bit his tongueHard  ambivalent

                                                                 FUCKthahurt talkin to himself 

least he listened

usually when he went offranted whoever was across from him faces went pasty  went blank

    Wha

I . . I . . . I can’t keep up with you.

Whas to keepup withlet it wash over youall ya gotta do is listen not think of a reply a retorttry to be cleverthas the reason why you insist you cant keepup

                                          sighed   Just fuckinlisten

I listen to youhear your argument

I clarify your argumentask questions   Yah

You do.

I don check out  Complain

                               Do I

    No.

Bluesky

           Gonna take a huge portion of Twitters market

Twitter?

It’s called X.

Call it whaya will Im not on social media

                                            Causes cancer  stress   Too many people at ones ear

A compoundingconfoundingcacaphony

    Enjoy

I research Study    Refuse to be pushed around

Werent meant to consume a fuckinthing like tha

1139,  Saturday,  30  11. 24

1416,  Saturday

Bluesky  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Psag-E8Xr1s  &  https://news.grabien.com/story/msnbc-interviews-coo-of-x-s-rival-bluesky-most-of-these-platforms-are  &  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVTbXqFjCEs

https://bsky.social/about/blog/03-12-2024-stackable-moderation

The Hill  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP4FpUaGMs0&t=11s  checkout Tara McGowans eyebrows 9:30 minute-mark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QcnralErR4

sometimes shitstream of consciousness is ohsofuckinfuckin necessary

                                                                           people bring that out of him

his tolerance null

Thomas ‘A’Holman borderline nut Czar Tsar dressing in tactical garb asif militarycouldnt complete a physical training course if he tried NICe so quit makeupdonning gay apparel Fa-la-la la-la-la la-la-la fellate prez-elect who hasnt crossed the Finish Line yet

starcrossed phony superheros

                                they aint that or everwillbe

                                                        reminds him of lilylivered

339preferred,  reggaefriday,  29  11. 24

0534,  Saturday,  30  11. 24

1243, Saturday

NIC is various military Night Infiltration Courses

8:27 minute-mark  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dk_fORlej3s

Dylan  Across the Borderline  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsPYU8NIBL8

“We find it useful to be ambiguous.”

                                       found the quote on a piece of paper folded in a book  he noted  September 2006  the utterance from a spokesman no doubt with Syrias Foreign Ministry regarding the Lebanese village of Shebaa

ambiguity  equivocation

                           ruses

seeming but not admitting

                             lying

used in relationships or as he thinks of them  relate-tionships

                                                                  he has very few because he cannot tolerate dishonesty

look how fuckingenerous hes being  dishonesty

    ambiguity

                is a seed thats spoiling  an egg of promise gone rotten  a dribble of sperm drying in the dirt

    in poker cards in the hole

    in people fingerscrossed behind their back a wink a smirk a veiled lie while looking someone in the eyes

    a childs toy hammer that rattles to a forgedsteel ballpeen hammer

    one amuses versus one direct in their function

maybe what the Foreign Ministry meant or Americas State department means

                                                                                           “We find it useful to lie.”

to whomever

    lying tears apart relate-tionships

noon-ish-ness,  Thursday,  9  11. 24

1102,  Saturday,  30  11. 24

https://www.aljazeera.com/features/2013/7/2/the-strange-case-of-lebanons-shebaa  https://www.logicstudent.com/logic/Module09_03_00.html

heres a humdinger  amphiboly fallacy – new to him – “a relatively rare logical fallacy in which a statement’s ambiguous grammatical structure leads to misinterpretations and misleading conclusions.”

                                                                                                like partisans who title and write state propositions

https://www.nyjournalofbooks.com/book-review/resilience-myth-new-thinking

“If Art does not enlarge men’s sympathies, it does noting morally.” 

                                                                        George Eliot

quoted by Joyce Carol Oates, Men Without Qualities, published in The New York Review of Books,  November 5, 2006

    enlarging sympathies 

now thats something Pharmaceuticals ought to turnloose their Research & Development on

rather than fourhour hard ons IF ONES HEART CAN TAKE IT

                                                            or legalise drugs  squeezeout streetcorner pushers – he gets it everyone needs a job – who of the two is more honest but doesnt have the right on their side  legislate GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards  zeroZip litigation in case where their drugs fuckup some white addict

if were to be a nation of addicts

Better Living Through Chemistry https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJtKkBYlHFw

                                                                                                                  then

shouldnt we at least have a chance to OD on Enlarged Sympathies

4-ish-ness,  Sunday,  22  10. 24 in Vegas

Sunday,  5  11. 06

0946,  Saturday,  30  11. 24

the toilet had a sense of humourmind of its own

to flush he turned the water on

it began its turning as flushed a toilet would usually dobut

                                                                  that was no guarantee

he had to keep an eye on it  and

                                   probably one out of ten times it refusedhe had to turn the water off then

continuing to turn  clockwise

slowing

SURPRISE

suddenlyswallowed

                        or

he had to concedeturn the water off  reach for the plunger to complete what knucklehead adamantlystubbornly refused to complete

             refused

to do its singularsolitary job

                                however

not without a shared sense of humour betweenem

    motherfucker kept him on his toes

1018,  reggaefriday,  29  11. 24

1511,  reggaefriday

    fortune  –  or fortune ate at his table

distilling it is a personal matter and that distillation can be tainted

                                                                      tainted by greed  religion  jealousy  sex

not diffused by sympathy

fortune can be bright

                        a shiny new penny

but pennies dont usually exciteincite someone theyd rather it were a silvery nickel dime quarter halfdollar dollar coin

five times better or ten twentyfive fifty onehundred times

                                                            GREEDYmotherfuckers

    so maybe the coinage of religion jealousy sex compiledcompounded

                                                                             uncut by sympathy

satisfaction woeful when comparedconsidered to satiation

                                                               a spartan meal compared to a feast

fortune and grateful could beought to be synonymous

                                                          sympathetic

perhaps

          until such a time is manifested

people

       will remain Maninfested                                                                                                    

    fearful of the dark   

530PMishness,  Tuesday – Election Night on the bus,  7  11. 06

1259,  reggaefriday,  29  11. 24

Pink Floyd  Several Species ofSmall Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpWJv7alqQE

probably a good thing he dropped the girls off

                                                  they were comfortable with the family cemetery

this was random 

                  Ooohah  Gotta stop

might not have gone over well

south out of Salinas strickened

                                 JESUS crazylookin jointhad to stop hed tellem about it what they missed if they asked

was finding that the older he was the lessinclined he was to stop

                                                                     so moved as he was

he went through the gate always gates stark reminders

apparently in this part of the country middle-late Nineteenth Century they werent as concerned for their dead likely more concerned that the Southern Pacific passed through

                                                             railroads made or killed fledgling cities

or rather he couldnt be certain once coffins was nailhammered shut the dead interred

                                                                                          Whadup?!

On to tomorrow.

what tall stone monuments were there had collapsed family plots were in rubble newer stones were flat so cemetery maintenance could mow the graves unimpeded

looked like a weedy lawn

to his thinking Death ought to impedeought to interruptought to be remembered fresh flowers picnic lunches introducing the kids to their relatives relating stories telling tales  Remembered singing Happy Birthday wishing them Happy Anniversary laughing weeping   Be alive

Midwest weathered tall monuments  big gravestones names datesdid the math for their ages some had pictures of the deceased on them strangers curious about their stories war veterans Ojciec father Corka daughter

    but not here not Calvary Cemetery

                                           this one was so flat one couldntwith a freaky girlher idea have sex on a grave without their bucking silhouettes apparent from the road

it was small lots tapped out

                               had to be a newer one elsewhere  though  popularity of cremations columbariums erected towards Heaven  good sales pitch

Closer to God are Thee

dutybound he had aided an abedded a freak

                                                  afterwards she asked  You won’t tell anyone?

Comon Im a gentleman Not anyone youd know or theyd know you name changed to protect the innocent

A good story thoughyah

                            then he thought Sayah you wont tell anyone

made him curious  wondered

                                Would the dead be jealous grimace smile that some livelyyoung people were having sex on top of them

 

when he pickedup the girls they asked how his days away were

                                                                     he knew it was noncommittalambivalent  Interesting

if they pressed it would really become

                                         something else

  

Sunday,  11  5. 06

1144,  reggaefriday,  29  11. 24

Anne Wilson  Closer to God  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4N2FNiXdJAk

roadtrip

began in the Midwest

he had to see the Pacific never had

                                     had to see the California beach that ran its entire length that of Annette Funicellos Bikini Beach fame

    it didntWhadahell he thought it did   a lot of the kids he grewup did

rolling south through Salinas John Steinbeck country knew that for certain a billboard

                                                                                                                             HAVE YOU BEEN A DAD TODAY?

didnt see who or what organisation sponsoredwas responsible for it

                                                                         appreciated it

earlier stopped off his eldest daughter with friends in San Francisco then to Santa Cruz where his younger daughter had friends

hed double back in a couple of days and fetchem

he was off the hook  hed been a good Dad for the day

                                                           hed be until either he or they were dead

didnt know otherwise

                        there was nothing better

Hell since he and his wife slapped labels on them  namedem that was nuts   for their lives  branding   permanent

unnerving  asked the hospital Can we get back to you in a week or so she didnt look like the names we picked out back to agonising Square One

   an emphatic NO

NUTS

        Had to try

 

fortunately the girls were products of love not sex   and he had had plenty plenty before marrying

no ring at the doorbell

open the door

Hello. I’m your son . . Hello, I’m your daughter . . Do you even remember that night you had sex with my Mom?

he didnt have nightmares only dreams

                                         but an instant like that would be as close to a nightmare as he could imagine

HAVE YOU BEEN A DAD TODAY?     

                                                       passing the billboard he thought Howbout  HAVE YOU BEEN A MOM TODAY?

then for his edification he asked

                                   Or didya just give everybody a headsup an nameem Sex

Saturday,  2  12. 06

1006,  reggaefriday,  29  11. 24

Supremes  Love Child  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIwdyIpmg-I  &  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqakDo11cPQ

there used to beonce was  a time   when it didnt matter what time it was

                                                                                there was no time when he wouldnt pant like a dog to get high

hitup as the sun went down

                               hittingup when the sun came back around

How do you do it?don’t gimme you’ll sleep when you’re dead.

Steppin on my line man

No. Seriously.

    Shits happenin Not the time to go byebye or lose the edge

Eventually Always

                      Body turns out the lights 

Follow the tracers to sleep  oblivion  fingerscrossed I wake

Die in my sleep

Havent missed muchhave I

Have you?

              Howya answer that question?

No clue  Wokeup

that was then

this is now

    he wasnt so galant masculine French pronunciation

wasnt as sure

youth afforded that

ignorance afforded that

wellfuck Immortality afforded him that

                                           War didnt take itHell he even gave it a second a third chance

three strikes It was out

came back “Home” a changed man

                                        recognised he hadnt gone in as a man

told a buddy who stayed back who was deferred  who hadnt ever had the bug up his ass as he did that he reconciled it as sport

except

         when ya lost

ya died

had no intentions returning crippled

Man, you realise how many high school games you played in and got beat?

I did I did

            Figured I was due a winning streakfigured the team I was playing on was superior  It was Overwhelmingly

Tadum

         Im back

You'll excuse me, sometimes you don’t look . . . back.

A dog  Glarin out the side of its face

    Yeah. Yeah.   Something like that yeah

Feral

Yeah.  Unnerving.

Yaoughta see lookin out

                           Yah    Unnerving

    once upon a time  it didnt matter what time it was

  

2029,  Thursday – Thanksgiving,  28  11. 24

Carole King  It’s Too Late  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkKxmnrRVHo

birds

         his daughter didnt like them

little hummers were okay

                            Preeetty.

they spooked easy

spooked them every chance she had

                                       despite seeing how they flocked to him as he fed them sometimes three dozen on five feeders

he was in his element

                        an experimental shoulder surgery to regrow cartilage sidelined him a year

he  fed  hummingbirds

such was the extent of his helpfulnesswhat he could do

she didnt like them

                      although she loved her red feathered boa  pranced around the house in it

sometimes forgetting to clothe herself otherwise

the boa didnt shithave talonssharp beaks

                                               she didnt like their coalblack unreflecting eyes

didnt care for their noncommittal expressions

nothing to tip her off what they were thinking

                                                 I’m sorry . . .  she paused   I shouldn’t say I don’t trust them. They look as if they’d just as soon claw you bite you peck your eyes out . . as not.

                                                                            God knows they'll shit on you.

Yacan’t trust someonesomebody who will shit on you.

a mouthful from an eight years old he couldnt pin that on his wife

                                                                       However unless  he interrupted  you negotiate a price first

she laughed

             then said You can’t negotiate with a bird, Papa. sipping her hot chocolate looked up over the marshmallow foam  some on her upper lip

                                Or bird-like people.

Wise  he nodded  

                      nevertheless shame on him  he may have introduced her a bit too early to Alfred Hitchcocks

The Birds

Sunday,  11  5. 06

0707PM preferred,  Thursday – Thanksgiving,  28  11. 24

The Birds  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCxR7dlavwg