1.9.24


A hoot
       read it once  came back to the first page asked Who the fucks Dick Schmitts

the name appeared at the top of a page a friend penned Labor Day 2008 Sep1


I’d been hiking up & up & ampersands were wickedly dashedslashed plus signs was beginning to tire

I was reserved, thoughtful, & not feeling social as I mounted a rise – steep – unable to see over the top until I pulled myself up onto it

It was flat, grassy, Grecian, a wide lip as if surrounding the mouth of an extinct volcano, misty, eyrie, the soil gravelly, deepbrown to black, lampblack, & warm

As I walked the gravel underfoot broke & became fine, dusty, aware. It ran up my feet & legs in an sincere embrace, & the more it gathered the heavier it became, every step a labor

It climbed, accumulated on my thighs & hips . . . & soon its weight & warmth drew me down dropped me to my belly . . . & the ground softened, occasionally belched . . . & I found that my exhaustion, lactic acid affecting my legs began evanesce under this luxurious, heavy warmth . . . & coalescing smooth-beaded gravel massaged me, kneading my muscles – million exquisite fingertips seeking, finding my hurt, unease, my exhaustion, invigorated me. I was renewed & whatever quiet angst I had carried up – the knots loosened, came undone, fell away

I forgot the trouble I harboured . . . a high tide had risen, washed away the refuse, the choking flotsam when it retreated

I laid, lounged on this queer earth, held clots to my face, relished its effervescence on my jaw & brow, the bridge of my nose, it massaged my eyelids . . . phosphenes formed beautiful angels, spun wild kaleidoscopic patterns

& I reveled

& I felt up

Standing, I walked forward, intrigued by the sound of seeping water, walked, nose high, smelling cleanclear water

I found beyond, in a rise, a bank of earth, a shivering runlet, bubbling, that formed a cutaway & was filled, edged, with small-leaf green plants & when I brushed them with the backs of my fingers, they recoiled, tendrils, like mollusc tentacles, & following the runlet it led to a hooded hollow, a shallow pool deep in its gullet, where water seeped from its concave walls, dribbled, in other places, abbreviated waterfalls . . . it smelled organic, invigorating

I got to my knees, crawled, then onto my belly to enter its maw, there anointed by fresh Elysium water. I splashed, washed off the busy mask, the coat of anxious powder & as it slowly quit it formed soft mud like yogurt, then congealed into rounded gravel

When I was clean I reversed myself, crawled out, took to my feet, & walked out of the hollow into a queer flickering hue, a fretted, latticed, see-through vapour on which, in which, a male and female newscaster, seated side-by-side appeared. They gestured me & the image, the shot, began to drift towards me at the edge of the hollow. But before they were out of scene I gestured to them, shook my head no. “No news here,” I said. Wisely they diverted the camera

I went outside the hollow, scaled it, peered over the edge . . . perched above was a pool, bluemineral water, over it a stone platform

There was news

Working my way down, right, I saw another hollow birthing. Inside it was a black man and a black boy – his son?

It occurred to me that if hollows grew, they might reverse, could diminished themselves . . . become non-existent?  & a claustrophobic sense & dread filled me  & that hollow holding the man & boy ceased, then began to shrink, the invagination they were contained in closing up

the hollow I was outside of began to shiver

I lunged, pitched myself headlong from it to theirs, plunged my arm inside, yanked the boy from the man’s arms, hurled him onto the roiling gravel, slick mud

As the lip diminished, falling with it, the hollow filling with bizzing water, obscuring the man, I plucked his wrist before he utterly disappeared, yanked, threw myself, all my weight backwards for all I was worth & dragged the man out. Emerging he clawed at the hollow & he landed, collapsed, on top of me, his eyes wrestling terror, “My boy? My boy? I die, my boy be alone.”

“Boy’s safe. We’re fortunate.”

I pushing him off me. I stood. I didnt want a fusillade of thanks or tears . . .

NEXT.
         then I was in an apartment, a house . . . & the slender green small-leaf plant that ran along the edge of the quick runlet leading into the hollow were growing in terra cotta planters, extending thin trailers and spillers

They recognised me

Monday, Labor Day, to Tuesday, 2  9. 08
1507,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

    SHAME

https://www.timesofisrael.com/bodies-of-6-hostages-murdered-by-hamas-just-days-earlier-found-in-rafah-idf/

wannabe autocrat Benjamin Netanyahu doing his damnedest not to be tried in court for his alleged crimes like a notable American EX-president did not release a public statement

he was sick of these individuals who tout themselves leaders yet put themselves before the good of their nation  ahead of the People

1553,  Sunday,  1  9. 24


she was a fan of words another why they got along
                                                     lookingup from readinggrabbed the dictionary fingered through it
Oh man you got to hear this.

tipping the newspaperlooking over the top of it at her
                                                         I have to hear this
Quit would ya? You do it to me.

No I don say you have to  I just do

Which is a little rude.

It isnt a little rude Its rude
                              But thas me

she rolled her eyesshook her head
                                     What a piece of work.
You love me

    I put up with you.
                           I love you too.
Love to put up with me

Put up with you to love me. Friends with benefits.

That doesnt fly
                 Were long long past friends                          

I liked when we were.
                        That was so hot.

he acted hurt Hasnt cooled for me
                                       But my coffee hashows yours Top it off while I have to hear
she grinned
             Yes please.

I’m reading The Rigor of Angels. Kant.

I saw Kinda made me hard  Usually my fare

Your fare’s becoming mine. I’ve been picking up what you’ve been reading when you’re not around. You read some crazy stuff.

Woudnt read it otherwise
Thought provoking.
Wait till ya get your hands on my porn
                                          Youll touch yourself I have
Sheesh.

Thought for sure Id provoke a Jesus

I’ll provoke you.

Please
Would you listen?

he set her refreshed coffee beside her returned to his chair  Im listening

Thank you.
             Have you ever heard read this word before?

Out of Kants mouth

His writing mouth yes. Same yeah?

Same

Zetetic.

Again

Zetetic.

Again

Zete . . you yanking my leg?

Pronounciation yah but no haventI kant say Ive heard it before

Kant K say?

Sharp girl
            And hot
Whas it mean

Thank you. Zetetic . . means proceeding by inquiry . investigation.

Searching for

Yes. Adjective. Rare.   Says here the modern term would be skeptical, skepticism.

Rare  Black an blue  I like it
                               Tha a K or a C

You’re the only one I know who uses a C. A K. 
                                                 O K?
No  But you found wha I had to hear
                                        Thank you
You're welcome. I feel so proud.

Can I come over an feel it too
                               A long frenetic zesty zealous zetetic feel
she lookedsaw canines
                         Whoa. Stay Fido, stay.   Sit.

    If you’re good we can share a bone.

1814,  Thursday,  29  8. 24
1210,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

began indabath
                  a hot one

one to soothe his body
not to cleanse
               but water has a way of finding the path of least resistance punishes what it finds

think Grand Canyon

think granite rockfaces
                        slabs slivers of itself littering its feet

    cleansed
                  he had conceived ones lifetheir memories his  as an assembly of snapshots cobbled together lifescomputer ZEROES and ONES
                                     his conception
this evening
              oiled slicked lighted by a beeswax tealight candle
episodic not epicsodic

when occasioning with another that relationshipLIFE is a series of snapshots

when someone endures a relationship even at a remove as the majority of his LIFE has been snapshots dont cut it
theyre episodic

his mother his sister
                      telephone calls hours at a time oncetwice a week  years   Seasons 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 etc

when they died

their episodes ended
                       when relationships end boyfriendgirlfriendhusbandwifebrothersister employment  other family
common perhaps regrettable fact


he hung spun that thought until the heat left the water breeze through the window chilled him convinced him to empty the bath dry off
                 sent him to bed to read

where he found he was too distracted

he turned off the light

saw it in the dark
                   closed his eyes hand on his cock fell asleep

where dreamic episodes entertained him


LIFE is beginnings and endings of episodes

    hes learning

began 2100 indabath,  Saturday,  31  8. 24
0945,  Sunday,  1  9. 24

31.8.24


he fooled himself
                   just because she appeared little didnt mean she was young
she was little

and young


was in a pasture attending a horse how he scaled her

she hailed him  waved   waved him over

he started to climb the fence

leg over he paused
                        hed seenexperienced this scenario before he waved from the field
she waved  started    stopped

heldup an indexfinger

wagged it

climbed off the fence

kept walkingup the dirt road to the rented farmhouse where her family was staying

    he knew what he was thinking in the middle of that green hayfield

curiosity got the better of him always did

continuedjumped down off the fence  began walking towards her

she didnt get any bigger the closer he got
Christ
         a nymph
was it possible to pack that much cute onto such a small frame
                                                                   her voice  lyrical  matched the vessel
I’ve seen you before on the road a lot.

Stretchin my legs

Your . . . girlfriend? lives up the road.

Yes

I’ve seen her too, she’s beautiful.

he nodded Tha she is

You know . . . sometimes she sunbathes in the nudeI’ve seen.

Shes said
She’s seen me?
                  I’ve been quiet like a mouse.

No  Tha she sunbathes naked

Oh.
       I like her body.

I do toowhas this about  I thought yamight need help with the horse

No. I wanted to say hiya, hiya, meet you.

    Meet me

I’ve only seen you from afar.

So  whas this about

Her breasts are large.

Yes

Mine aren’t.

Maybe as you grow older they will  Lots to do with genetics

Look at mine.  she yanked her blouse open
And
      Im outa here
he turned on his heels
                          her tits remind him of the first girl he felt up she tugged his cock
he was a kid
wasnt now

Mister!  Wait!

    fat chance
beelined
            couldnt wait to tell his girlfriend she had an admirer

0627,  Thursday,  29  8. 24
1514,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

Where’d ya go?

Went waondering off in my headfigured ya woudnt mind

Could have left a note.

A note
       I didnt go anywhere note triggered Miller  “. . . composing music in the key of sassafras.”

You were in the basement. When I called you didn’t respond.

I wasnt listenin  I was gone

Why does nobody else I know, or ever have, except for you, are able to turn off their hearing?

They want to hear

Are you being funny?

You don seem humouredso  no
                                 Weve had this conversation before
We have.
           You could be courteou . .
. . Leave you a note
                      I’m downstairs.
Youd come down an interrupt me
    Correct

If it were important.

Important can wait

Do you hear yourself?

If I wantwhas important
                           Wha youd deem important is important
Then whaif it isnt to me
                                                 An youve interrupted me  Im never gone long
Am I

    No.

This is an old house. You can hear me walking overhead floorboards creaks.

If I were listening
                       I was  Off

To address your question  Again

I grew up in a large family You know

Call it privacy

Call it selfsurvival

    Ill leave a note



1154,  Saturday,  31  8. 24
 
Maurice Blanchot  “. . . if writing is defining the unknown . . . it must always leave the unknown to be unknown, even though its purpose is the attempt to uncover and to disclose that unknown.”

In Louis Menards The Free World: Art and Thought in the Cold War he read “Literary language is figurative and polysemous.”

spirit of his frustrated psychologist rushed in 

used Jungs word association on him
                                       she was legit
apparently he wasnt
                       his associations crushed her 

though he did win his trial

her spirit raved POLYSEMOUS

he howled Cyclops

What?

Polyphemus

What?

Comon  Odysseus Odyssey Homer

    Yaoughta be happy ya held your tongue didnt chide me tried me its noun polysemy
                                                                                             Idve had to reveal something unseemly seamy creamy Campbells soup Cream of Cunt Cream of Semen topshelf stuff tasty upanaway where kids coudnt reachem in good time in plenty of time perhaps when older perhaps not  they became sophisticated  unlike me older I got I only got more curious no time for sophistication  fornicationYes sophisticYes  sophisticationOhno

polysemous
              have multiple meanings

triggered a runaway train


her spirit tucked tail and left
                               Hey
refused to look back
                  Hey  Don go away   Weve only just begun

she disappeared into the tall mirror at the end of the hallway
                                                                 couldnt begin to say how many spirits sought refuge in that mirror

his on occasion peeked outconfronted him

turned his back on him too many times to remember
                                                        Im talkin to you
flipped him the bird

evanesced
            Whard ya go

wished he could go like that

wondered where hed end up

2236,  2sday,  27  8. 24
1120,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

he said  La di dah
                           that was refreshing
couldnt say where it came from hadnt read it heard it or said it in forever

it was perfect for the moment

saw it register in his face
                              dissed
dismissed

eyes grew

wasnt used to being confronted

looked like he was going to spit

how vulgar


he was going to say it again   doubledown  unlike him
                                                      La di dah   La difuckin dah
smiled
         err  shouldnt have smiledshould have tried contrite  evenif insincere 

maybe said
               Hmmm


though wouldnt have brought him to his knees   huge order

ought to be


aggressive What did you say to me?

   Ya deaf
              You heard me

I did.  Clearly.


And what of it?

smirked
        Ah well

Oh well?

Like I said
           then hauled offkicked him in the balls so there was no mistaking was sure one testicle lodged in his gullet

2300ish,  Reggaefriday,  30  8. 24
0947,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

 ROE or NO

on Novembers ballot in 9 states

Montana

Nevada

South Dakota

Missouri

Florida

Colorado

Maryland

New York

Arizona

   then
OHbrutha
            have Republicans pushing fetal personhood

Zygote says . . .
                 NOTHING  its assembling cells

1439,  Saturday,  31  8. 24

30.8.24


armwrestling
               remains a thing 
krazy
       when its against yourself


   Ladies and gentlemen
                             In the far corner  wearing red trunk  coming out of Sleep  the contender  Hypnopompic
he applauded
                the sole yin yang in attendance

announcer gets paid by the word

Now if youll turn your attention to the near corner
                                                     Wearing blue trunk  slipping into Sleep  the other contender  Hypnagogic

a stout table two stools stand center ring under a diffuse cone lighted fourdegrees below fourdegrees above the horizon just before an after the golden hour  marbling twilight

Please welcome them

he applauds

they shed their satiny for-show robeswhite towels wrapped around their necks stride confidently towards each other shaking out their muscled arms

meet center

shake handsfeel theyre evenly matched  informed by the electric tension of their brief grip

seated 
         they clasps hands
they dont look at each other

if they did their eyes wouldnt see

   a scarcely audible bell sounds cricketcall
anthey spasmtussled over who will command his Sleep when his dreams give way
either too astonished
too disappointed
                   whether he enforces lucid dreaming
or lets them have their heads

hell wake

be aware he is

shift positionTHEN
                     this is the cricketcalled armwrestling
 
when he wakes in the morning he couldnt say if one or the other woncouldnt say who held sway  how long

just that it was Time to riseanshine

get out of bed on the right side
                           Motherfucker
Whawere they about

had his work cut out for him

his hands wrists arms shoulders ached    

409 preferred to 1609,  Reggaefriday,  30  8. 24
1649 missed it by 10minutes,  Reggaefriday

Friday Frida

was pretty sure her name was Frida
                                       but her nametag reclined on her left breast

it wasnt until she leaned forwardher scoopneck top scoopedLORDD that he he wouldnt be a man if he didnt gander Mens Rules and ByLaws specific  strict  he had to glimpse if there was in the extreme a possibility that a glimpse would be tendered

    tendered

disagreed with the verbage
                              fatty chance

Frida

she looked upsmiled didnt straighten her spine wouldnt complain as she keyboarded his account number into the computer
           Yes.

Family namesake or Frida

smile widened
                Frida.

Ahhad my fingers crossed
                             Youre the first flesh an blood Frida Ive ever met an Ive been aware of her her art since I was a teenager  Ive been in a lot of places where one woud think I shoud have stood an awfully good chance of meeting a Frida

Now you have.

I can die a happy man

her smile broke into musical laughter
                                          This may kill you. I’ve been to Casa Azul, Mexico City . .
. . Yes . .
. . I’m returning in November . .
. . Take me stuff me in your suitcase
continuing to laughed
                       Do you have a passport?

Wont need it Ill be stashed in your luggage  Sssh  Clandestine
                                                                       Or perhaps  clandestiny
Antheres always tha moment when one is faced with an iffy decision  thinks Whawoud Frida do You understand youve now compounded things

Ohmy . .
. . Youre a peach
                   I appreciate you takin the joshin

Joshing? What that? I don’t know it.

An I dig you can admit when you don know
                                                Kidding jokin ribbin teasing

Are you a teaser?

Im afraid Im guilt
                    But likely we woudnt be at this juncture if you hadnt been Frida   A Dolores

My mother’s name is Dolores.

tad crestfallen Youre kidding

    I am

his turn to laugh deeply
                          Sppose it takes a kidder to know one
Or a tease to know one.

Tha
     I coud get my headround tha

she glanced at the clock Within a stone’s throw of my quitting time. You should have me for a drink.

Shoud have me
                   Thas loaded
Isn’t it?
         Intrepid?

Does the beat of a butterflys wings affectfelt on the other side of the world

    I think so.

We can put it to a test

We can.

Up the street Lilas Cantina   Outdoor seating

I know Lilas. Twenty minutes.

Im lookin forward to it

I know Lila.

You do
         Are we to be chaperoned

Do I need to be?

I was thinkin of me weve just met
                                     You picked me up

handing him his cash deposit receipt
                                        No no.  I beat you . butterfly . . to the punch.
True?

Theres tha there is tha

approximately 2300,  Thursday,  29  8. 24
1359,  Reggaefriday,  30  8. 24