wrioter.com

12.7.24

He had to know before they married

People make allowances, compromises.

They do But the death do you part thang imparts a wholly new an different understanding can I put up with this for the rest of my life

Or their loves life

Hard questions

I liken it to a paper cut every day every week every month every year

Paper cuts are minor arent pleasant

But every fuckin day

Have you ever shared that before . . with anyone?

I think everyone has their own analog . .

. . Not like that.

That’s heinous.

Heinous

Heinous. I whine when I suffer one forever far apart.

Heinous.

No Ive not bandied it about

You ought to. Can I?I’ll credit you.

Unnecessary

No. Necessary. I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a sick fuck.

OH thanks

That’s pernicious.

Look at you rollin out vocabulary basting words

she giggled

I’m a masterbaster . . no apologizes.

Fuckme

Pretty goodhuh?you’re rubbing off on me.

Loaded

A tad.

Did I ever tell youya’re my hero?

Screwball

So youre tellin me he didnt know

He knew when he met her she was a micromanager. He thought she’d leave that at their doorstep, not turn it on him.

A micromanager I coudnt work for one

You are, kinda, in your own way.

My own projects my own initiative

My own me Im not a teamplayer

Gimme me a wide berth job gets done well efficiently then the micros can have the product an try an punch holes in it

Not me

There’s that.

Who does his exwife work for

Microsoft.

Ohfuck

A micromanager at Microsoft

she laughedOh, I didn’t think of that.

Did he before marrying her

He did.

Made his own bed then decided it wasnt for him

So much for deathvow

2347, Monday, 8 7. 24

1640, Reggaefriday, 12 7. 24

. . . serial monogamist

Wha the hells tha

Surely you’v . .

. . Is tha a thing

What have I told you about that?

I know wha youve said but Im tellinya Ive never heard of it

You understand what it means?

I can parse it understand serial understand monogamy though I havent ever thought it a bad thing

Not regarding marriage, what you and your wife had, that commitment no; I’m talking in regards to, uncommitted relationships, boyfriends, girlfriends, staying with one while reaching out to anotherthey can’t be single, they have to be in a relationship, can’t stand on their own two legs, can’t date.

Thas dishonest

It serves their purpose.

Living a lie

Serves their purpose.

Thas shit

You’re tellin’ me.

Its happened to you

Yes.

he shook his head

How Youre so smart

Smarts got nothing to do with it. Missed signals . . . because I didn’t want to think otherwise because I turned a blind eye turned a deaf ear.

Im terribly sorry

I did it to myself.

He stepped away, broke my heart, was living with a woman inside two weeks of breaking up with me.

Inside two weeksJesus

Im sorry I don get it

she laughed tears began

Because you wouldn’t stand for it. You catcha whiff of a lie and you’re adios, you won’t tolerate the slightest dishonesty.

You’re unlike a lot of people.

What is it you say?

Its a good thing I can get along with myself

Yes.

I wish I could. A lot of people wish they could but they can’t.

2347, Monday, 8 7. 24

1515, Reggaefriday, 12 7. 24

Fourth of July week

fireworks

dogs howl cower

not pleasant evenings for them

Whas with your dog

hers laid at her anklechin on her foot blinked occasionally looked aroundeyes only when a firework wentoff little lower than it shouldflickering ashes glimmering into treetops

taking the drink away from her mouth she swallowed

He’s something huh?

The explosions flashbangs suddensparklings ricekrispies don bother him

No. I’ve had him five years don’t affect him, but cries of other dogs, you may have noticed, his ears twitch in their direction, the extent of his acknowledgment.

her neighbours had had enough took their animals inside distancing them from the end-of-the-world muting them behind walls

I don’t know what that is.

she took another sip swallowed

You’re not keen on dogs.

Im not I cant provide the attention they require

A cat person Affection a giveantake proposition sometimes yah sometimes no Were amenable

Too aloof for me.

Aloof Perfect

Were aloof Far more accurate than amenable Thank you for the correction

she was going to take a sipstopped at her chin

You’re welcome. You’re so polite. sipped

he yawpedmuzzled it behind his fist

Trust me ya woudntwan my Maw to suddenmaterialise slap the back of my head You know your manners, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Shame

Was a powerful tool in our house cracked on the ass stood in a corner made an example

In junior high woodshop I made a miniature pillory an gave it to her for Mothers Day She didnt appreciate it it wasnt lost on the room my father my siblings However not to be made butt of a joke or oneupped she stitched a doll of socks an placed in the pillory kept it on top the bookcase in the livingroom a conversational piece affectionately referred to it as me Cant say who got the last laugh

But I digress Ya woudntwan her to materialise

Perhaps. Perhaps not.

All in all she wisely taught you good manners.

I have tha

So. Dogs.

Yah

They’re loyal, devot . .

. . Slaves

Truly?

Yah No appeal Anymore than Lassie Rin Tin Tin Bullet Roy Rodgers dog fuckinRoy liked his devotion so much had him stuffed

Stuffin your dog

Interesting.

Noncommittal

Ohsorry, most people I know either like or have dogs

Own a dog

You could really care less?

You know who you remind me of?

I do not

A dog.

Not rising to the bait?

A three-legged dog.

Threelegged dog

Yes.

They absolutely despite four-legged dogs. Halfdozen rescues in the neighborhood.

Then youd know

I do I truly do. Another beer.

Sure

Fetch.

2331, Monday, 8 7. 24

1222, Reggaefriday, 12 7. 24

11.7.24

Yaneed to backoffNOW

Theres an upside Youre blindoverlookin it

Overlooking?

Are you such a dismal human being tha . .

. . Dismal Dismal I woudnt saytha

I see either darksides or silverlinings although Im usually forced to be dark to illuminate those things for people I care about to seesee the whole ballkeep turning the damn thing in their hands keep pushinem off the nonsense tha because its a ball they know balltheir kneejerk reaction ball without considering its entirety as a child whos never seen a ball woud

Shitty job Somebodys gotta do it

Soyah Theres an upside to sundowners

Again.

You remember my fathe . .

. . Yasaid Yes I remember

He may have taken my side if wed known each other better

Your side.

Losing your mind Damnright my side

Hed appreciat . .

. . The anxiety, agitation, pacin . .

. . Disorientation No

Hed appreciateWOUD YA SHADDUPcould see he was windingup LISTEN Agree or disagree A physician is an empirical scientist data results driven Willing to hypothesise theorise Seek conclusions

So your sick mind has concluded what?

While your Dad was not the cut of my jib regarding drug experimentationnot to the intense personal degree I was I did Ive had experiences tha cannot be diminished or dismissed

Possible he might have appreciated sundowner hallucinations

Appreciated not paying a single red cent for a hallucinogennot having to quibble the price of LSD windowpane peyote psilocybin be wha it may

Im not saying one might not have to pay a red sense

Im saying reasonable in the natural order of things

An upside

A benefit

You’re sick, disturbed.

Your minds closed Pickedup dogshit in it knotted it tossed it

You sundown

wagged a finger before his face No hallucinations for you

1129, Monday, 8 7. 24

1444, Thursday, 11 7. 24

Seinfeld Soup Nazi https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jSTiKHOFEI

the talking cure

“Our job is to help our patients free themselves.” Carl Gustave Jung

same cat who said All angels speak German.

but

he let that slide

because

Jung was neither a Gnostic nor metaphysician neither a theist nor atheist neither a mystic nor materialist

rather

an agnostic empirical scientist who also spoke Latin Greek English French Italian

it was entirely possible at some time he may also have said All angels speak Latin. All angels speak Greek. All angels speak English. All angels speak French. All angels speak Italian.

which isnt to say they dont speak Polish an-on anon an a-non

equal-opportunist angels

returning to the scene of the crime

patients

patiently trying to free themselves

cure commencesvery possibly with a onehundred word association test

Ahunred

but if he knew Jung like he knew Susie like he knew Jung Oh oh ohwha a guy Jung submitted

wondered what he replied

though unfortunatelyunhappily probably lost to posterity

he tried to come up with one of his own

priest sermon

solemnise sodomise

he heeledbetter stop while ahead his better angels warning him in English

hed find the onehundred words

try again

if a physician could so could he

Medice, cur ate ipsum. Physician, heal thyself.

1700, Thursday, 4 7. 24

1203, Thursday, 11 7. 24

https://www.openculture.com/2023/05/take-carl-jungs-word-association-test-a-quick-route-into-the-subconscious-1910.html

Eddie Cantor If You Knew Susie (what a chassis) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InTuAeGjr4M

dicey yes couldnt help himself just plainly could not help himself the view from behind the eightball was too enticing skewed wonderful unexpected unfocused undelineated

theodicy diceytheodicy

he didnt knowhad to look it up aahhaed throughout

a theological logical logical logical construct that attempts to vindicate God God God God in response to the problem of evil evil evil evil that appears inconsistent with the existence of an omnipotent omnibenevolent violent violent violent God God God God

began with Delmore Schwartz Calmly We Walk through This April’s Day Saul Bellow

if not for them not this

theodicey

unable to vindicate

call a spade a spade

She

They

is a sickpuppy lingeringtoeing at the weedy edgesthe pool of his black humour

hes accused

Isn’t it a bit too early?

wondered if they ever questioned the Trinity

probably not

whod want to walkaround looking over their shoulder worrying about their comeuppance

he didnt

Yeahwhell, you do you and I’ll do me.

he put on his best confusedconfoundedcomic countenance Are weah talkin masturbation

women blush men scowlREAL MEN DON’T MASTURBATE

No We seem more prone to rape

Did he say tha

maybe maybe not out loud

likely out loud

strike while the irons hot

at least do your shirts

make them crisp

sharp

Anyway

Lotsa luck with theodicy

0912, Thursday, 11 7. 24

1042, Thursday

Jethro Tull My God https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4P5dsPvRIA

Aqualung https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0jMPI_pUec

10.7.24

Oh say it aint so

Kjerstin and Jiffy cuddlinglooked over the foot of the bed What? in unisonhed heard them cum together

You two are a real pair

Thank you. in unison

Youre killing me

Id think somewheresomehow these things I mention youd one of you woud have heardbeen exposed Jiffy satupsuddenly shaked her tits laid back down Kjerstin tweaked one of Jiffys nipplesOuch Lemme kiss it

Make it feel better she did really wasnt a kiss

Grrls

scarcely managed their attention they had hishe was hard

noticing Why don’t you hop back into bed, we can help.

Wood they laughedknew wha wood he meant if I didnt have bacon going

Breakfast

To keep up our strength?

Mine

Prepared batter for buttermilk waffles too

However back to my admonishment

You use such big words.

Learnem

Firm warning Reprimand

Arya?

Jiffy tossed off the sheetspun over onto all fourswiggled her beautiful ass Yagonna crack me! how her package was placed on such a small frame blew his mind bacon bacon bacon bacon Bacons cookin

I owe you

Ooooh.

Ooh this Timex

NO. in chorus Jiffys fanny still swayin leftanright leftanright . . .

Takes a lickin an keeps on tickin

NO.

No idea, why?

Timex T I M E Xright

Thinkin of you while I making your baconno idea how you eat it crispy

Teamex T E A M E X

T E A M X

Outrageous

Get dressed or not make the bed

Do we . .

. . YES

Then come out for breakfast

in unison We’re Team X.

in the hall over his shoulder We arefuck are we

Takes a lickin keeps on tickin

1555, 2sday, 9 7. 24

1211, day-between-2-Ts, 10 7. 24

Beatles Come Together https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oolpPmuK2I8

I Want You https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAe2Q_LhY8g

Miles Davis Don’t play what’s there. Play what’s not there.

sage advice

whenever he needed to bullshit he sought Sage delivery

he had nothingabsolutely nothing

Im waiting . . .

took a sip of whisky

sip of coffee that went cold as all coffees he had did

needed only start hot to brew

remembered all the times his father would pour hot coffee blow once stick the tip of his tongue in itcringe AwChrist that’s hot.

No Shit Sherlock he didnt say it

hed seen his Dad do it so many times he was quite sure there were no nerveending alive he was sensing somehow some other way

maybe the heat wafting to the back of his throat and AwChrist that’s hot. an audible kneejerk reaction

like when he was a teen in high school

the Midwest

during passing between classes it was okay to go outside

even during the winter

lotsa of chicks did it

the brazen ones

chilled

reentering

didnt hold their books up against their breasts

T H Os

Titty Hard Ons

likewise

he didnt hold his books in front of his crotch

cockjerk reaction

blueballs were boys Teenage Wasteland

Hmmm

Miles Right on

0015, 2sday, 9 7. 24

1304, day-between-2-Ts, 10 7. 24

Who Teenage Wasteland https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGHxIKa31Jk

Mediumpoint strawberry Bic Cristal

. . . and another one’s gone, and another one’s gone, another one bites the dust.

that flowed from himout of his mouth when his Bic Cristal ran out of ink

he pulled from a jar of pens he kept on his desk

another Cristal

maybe twentypercent remainedwondered when last he used it

tried to write

dry

needed lubing

he scribbled

kept slips of paper with ideas on them beside him

scribbled between linesEUREKA

was in business

began printing STOP

that wasnt red

Thas not redthas strawberry Youre supposed to be red

You got any idea how long I’ve been sitting around waiting to be used?I don’t. I’m a pen. But . . . like yourself . . one loses potency anif you think you ain’t brother you’re out of your everlovingfuckin’ mind. Potency, vigour, enduranc . .

. . An you can shut up

muttered Think Im gonna be dresseddown by a fuckin penno matter a favourite pen

Truth’s brutal. I can’t begin to count the times I’ve overheard you ply that.

So get over it and write what you were going to write in your letter. Forget your place?

May I say?

You know

When you write you talk, saying your words as you do.

Helps me visualise themtheir expressions as they listen to me speak See if theyre picking up on the puns the tongue-in-cheek

Sure Take a shot

Goodie.

No goodies

Ifya gotta say tha don speak

I apologise, I’m more than a little thrilled.

Thas fine I get it

Whawas I going to say write

the ink twisted a bit in the inserted cartridge barrel

You were going to print If I didn’t say, you wouldn’t know.

Whell Gawddamn

the strawberry ink may have percolated a wee bit as close to pleasuring itself as a pen may get

Feel good

You have no fuckin’ idea.

0935, day-between-2-Ts, 10 7. 24

Queen Another One Bites the Dust https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tg53zeCwgnY

nothing happens by accident

some prefer that coincidence

Nothing

she told him if he kept it upwasnt keeping anything up shed known him sixseven months moved into the apartment next door of course their paths would cross exchange courtesies rousted one unwanted male attentionintention

if he kept it up hed alienate even people closest to him he didnt tip his hand tell her his people were twentytwohunred miles away

Wha you a mental health worker

turns out a social worker completing a degree in psychology

thats where she got alienation

wasnt in his vernacularknew it

but he read an awful lot

found books to be better friends

they could keep confidences

was pretty sure that wasnt the alienationalikenation she was talking about

he told her he appreciated her intentions but no thank you

since

shes avoided him

alienation

he finished another Bruen book

last time he chased works of a writer were Hemingway Joyce Miller an Nin Cormac McCarthy Marlon James Ta-Nehisi Coates China Mieville

“My existence of alienation even then was in full flow.”

their words spoke to him

no accidents

2330, Monday, 8 7. 24

0933, day-between-2-Ts, 10 7. 24

9.7.24

Ken Bruens Jack Taylor Belief in nothing is at least a belief.

Hatickled him

I believe

someone tried to mess with his beliefs hed eat their face

unfortunately often ran into people who thought I think

I think

I think was shit

think wasnt delvingworking committing to determine reality

wasnt referencing crossreferencing studying researching

think backhandedly suggests Faith

to him

granted

him

belief structures constructs permission structures

he spent almost two years writing research papers for students wellheeled who skated on their educational obligations

Yes doctor, whatever you think is best.

Fuckem he may have written a paper for them

hed written five awfully intense papers

none of the subjects would have piqued his curiosity if he hadnt needed cash

got a bug up his ass

was making five dollars a page

wondered

What did Bennie middleman make off his back

called the Classified Ad number

Hello

Hello.

I require a paper to prove rape in New York City knew to have a shot a victim needed a witness

That’ll be twentyfive dollars a page. There’s approximately twohundredfifty typewritten words a page. How many words? Pages?

Ill pay you ten a page

It’s twentyfive.

Bennie

Joe

From here forward you get ten I get fifteen

You're dreaming.

I know where you live

Everything Ive written have earned As As you know I have two in the hopper I understand word is getting around

Believe me

Youd be stupid to walk away from ten dollars a page You do nothing

Classified ads are pennies

Id compete

0000 midnight, Monday/2sday, 9 7. 24

2248, 2sday, 9 7. 24