9.7.24


Ken Bruens Jack Taylor  Belief in nothing is at least a belief.

Hatickled him
                 I believe
someone tried to mess with his beliefs hed eat their face

unfortunately often ran into people who thought  I think
                                                           I think
I think was shit
                 think wasnt delvingworking committing to determine reality
wasnt referencing crossreferencing studying  researching
think backhandedly suggests Faith
to him
granted
         him

belief structures  constructs   permission structures                                               

he spent almost two years writing research papers for students wellheeled who skated on their educational obligations

Yes doctor, whatever you think is best.
                                          Fuckem he may have written a paper for them


hed written five awfully intense papers
                                          none of the subjects would have piqued his curiosity if he hadnt needed cash
got a bug up his ass

was making five dollars a page
                                    wondered
What did Bennie middleman  make off his back                                                                     

called the Classified Ad number

Hello

Hello.

I require a paper to prove rape in New York City knew to have a shot a victim needed a witness

That’ll be twentyfive dollars a page. There’s approximately twohundredfifty typewritten words a page. How many words?  Pages?

Ill pay you ten a page

It’s twentyfive.

    Bennie
Joe

From here forward you get ten  I get fifteen

You're dreaming.

I know where you live
                        Everything Ive written have earned As As you know I have two in the hopper  I understand word is getting around

Believe me
             Youd be stupid to walk away from ten dollars a page  You do nothing
Classified ads are pennies

Id compete  

0000  midnight,  Monday/2sday,  9  7. 24
2248,  2sday,  9  7. 24

he had habits

he considered them

more were good than bad
                            considerably more
if he took credit not that he sought took credit for the good ones hed have to acknowledgecouldnt prevaricate on the poor

Cant prevaricate
                    Poor is not bad is it 
I cant be euphemisti . .
. . NO

   A tad incensed

You can fuck with others not us

   Cant I tease

Are you teasin

If I said yes

Yes

Woudya believe me


   Since youre not in the habitsince thas where we began not in the habit of lying we coud extend you a gimme

I aint takin gimmes Eightfoot putt downhill slidinleft    Really
                                                                    Fuckyou
I was being dishonest

Euphemistic  Prevaricating

Lying
       Donya monkeys ever take time offput up your feet
No  Guardians at the Gate
                             Quis custodiet ipsos custodes Who will . .
. . Yahyah yah Who will guard the guards themselves
                                                            Gotcha
Just fuckin with ya
                      Bad habits  Satisfied
Arya

I am

So
      Woudya like to explain your more recent  new habits
Are they good or bad

You aint boy an girl scouts
                              Yare take

Its getting crazy rumbustious
                                 Youve destroyed furniture
Thought it was more stout
It was old

You think IKEA coud tak . .
. . NO
         Were actually waiting to see who goes through the prefab shower or a wall
Getting awfully physical

Arya alluding . .
. . Alluding
             If they . .
. . Jiffy  Kjerstin

Yes Youre correct
                    If Kjerstin an Jiffy were of normal stature you coudnt get away with half the stuff ya do

No

   Arya gettin out of hand

Youmy Maw
               It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt?
We . .
. . No  I   An Jiffy  An Kjerstin
                                     Thrill A little hurt   Black leather persuasion
Whell
         Suppose these habits undetermined either good or bad or both   Arya proud of unrestrained sex with hobbits

Hobbits aint built tha
                       Nice try
Everyone  Shame on you
                             Back to your hideyholes  Ill let ya know when yacan come out

0040,  2sday,  9  7. 24
1519,  2sday
Olivia Newton-John  Let’s Get Physical  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA

Gun ‘N Roses  Black Leather  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5QyEcya9Kg

Tommy James and the Shondells  Crystal Blue Persuasion  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bh3LbPH7t-w

he knew her from the market

she began sweeping the floor to bagger had to use a short stepladder to cashier stool to managing Self-CheckOut

not a meteoric ascension

however every time he stopped she was there

diligent despite her jet black hair marbledhighlighted coils of purple
                                                                   he admired her diligence


Whisky & Ruby
                 on rare occasion he stopped for a Ten-year Laphroaig he coudnt say itdidnt want to know admired the three successive vowels  Scots an Irish had that shit down pat
wrote it on a napkin handed it to the barkeep
                                                 Double  Neat  Please

heading in she was coming out
                                  I know you.  her enthusiasm liquored
I know you

I haven’t seen you around here before.

Once in a blue moon to celebrate

What are you celebrating?

Today
        Just for the fuck of it
The fuck of it?

   Yah  this was loaded Ever feel like fuckin

her big brightblue eyes started
                                     then she put a hand on his chest leaned in looked aboutaround  I do.

Coud I buy you a drink Or were you heading out

I came out to call my roommate, in there people hang on your words and I’m afraid I talk too loud.

I was calling her to ask her here . . if she’d like a drink.

If shed like Ill buy ya both a drink

she patted his chest
                            I’ll ask. See you inside.


at the back of the bar was a high wainscotted corner a bookshelf above old leatherbound books that to the best of his recollection were unmoved since last he imbibed as was habit he took one down  a honeyyellow lamp hung above 

corner looked like amber

a round table three chairs

he took the one facing the door as also was habit

smelled the looked at the napkin Laphroaig salivated
                                                       hed wait five minutes before sipping if I do decided not to returnSpeak of the Devil she entered looked right to the bar the stools he heldup his hand she nearjumped like pricked  smiledChrist she was a cutie

as she approached he stood
                               Whawill it be
What are you having? picked up his tumblersniffed sipped it That’d hand me my ass. Please, an Old-Fashioned only two rocks. she winked Can’t get more than two in my mouth at a time.
a snort escaped his nose Saucy

   Did you say saucy?I’ve never been called saucy.

Well have a toast to it
                        Excuse me
My girlfriend expects to be here in tenfifteen minutes, a brisk walk away.

Didya want to wait

She’ll have what I’m having, but with ice. she winked again he hoped it wasnt a tic


when he returned with the drinks she had taken the chair back to the door opened the bookrandomly  was engrossed 

setting them on the table Here we go

The Count of Monte Cristo.

Dumas  Yes

I’ve never heard of it.

Its awesome Revenge  Im a fan
                                    Kjerstin recalled from her work nametag
Yes.

Im Joe

they shook hands she knew how to shake

Your friend

Jiffy.
      Her name’s Yasmin Y A S M I N, she doesn’t like it.

When she enters how will I recognise her

She’s tall like me. But built. he hadnt been around a woman this tall since elementary school
                                                                                            Speak of the Devil  Jiffy in a jiff
She said she hadn’t been out in a while, was excited to be.

as he stood Kjerstin spun stood Roomie!  they embraced
                                                               Jiffy, this is Joe. I know him from the market.
she took his hand she could shake too



   it got  crazy
                  having a second drink Kjerstin related Joe was celebrating the day just for the fuck of it He said to me she winked again no tic Ever feel like fucking?I told him I did.  Then I called you.

Jiffy laughedput her hand on top of hishis on Dumas Are you going to ask me?
Feel like fuckin

   I do.

Kjerstin  I drove. Can’t now. Say we finish our drin . .
. . And Joe can take us back to his place. finished Jiffy

what could he say Bottoms up

they did



entering the livingroom he shut the door behind them
                                                         Down the hall to the right  To the left the bathroom
the roommates laughedstaggered began stripping each other
he thought MyGawd theyre petite
Kjerstin yanked off Jiffys bra
he thought Not so petite
thought Young  Fit
thought  Theyre gonna kill me


during the thrashing he got Jiffy on the bottomon all fours  topped her with Kjerstin  from behind lunged facefirstheadlong into the sweet messFUCKWHAT?they cried found the pen he lost last night while noting pagenumbers to Before the Big Bang  it lodged superficially in his forearm DON MOVE GRRLS please he was begging Please donmove a musclegimme a sec

he leapt off the bed to his dresser found a bandanna wrapped it tied it off teeth an hand dove back in they squealed he snorted he lappedlickednuzzlednibbled

   Jiffy collapsed
he rooted like a pig



exhausted
             they fell asleep          

he dreamed

              Red Mediumpoint Bic Cristal  

7AM,  2sday,  9  7. 24
1310,  2sday,  9  7. 24

too quick
          glancedthought hed ran tha through the mill
he hadnt

he wrote something similar but two things in it he hadnt argued

   not argued
                 hadnt said
Who ya kiddin

Yah
        Who

Were happy youre able to assess recognise admit  you argue
                                                                     Know where thas from
My Maw

Yah She made ya the feminist an arguer you are
                                                     We loved it when you two went at it
Ali Frazier had nothing on youse  An your ropeadop . .
. . There was no rope
No there wasnt

No

There was the fridge  The wall behind you   The counter

There were
               Arya tryin to remind me
Actuallyno
            Were remembering  relishing


I was right she was wrong

Probably why she slapped you so many times
                                                   You woudnt recant
Fuck  Cant recant whawas true
Coud have taken a page from Galileo

Arya equating heresy with her story
                                      She wasnt going to kill me  My Prudential Life Insurance policy didnt amount to thamuch

HA Funny

She did apologise tha . .
. . It took her to evening to cool down Ya really revved hertook her to task

No task was no task
                         Maw had a hard time admitting she was wrong youll recall thawas the first of many before I left home for good

they shehes heshes nodded enthusiastically         

Youre acting like you were clobbered
We felt your pain
Yare fuckin hilarious
                        Ever consider getting a clown car an doing a circus
No
    We got you

HAR HAR HAR



two things he hadnt argued when chastising Mr Undisciplined were  regarding his howl for initiative  Tha defiance isnt following  fearing was following

A little queer you didnt relate tha earlier Skip your mind

Definitely
           Not being true to oneself offends me  Was really really offendedwas tryin to keep my cool
An not beat him senseless in the kitchen between the fridge wall an counter

   Yamight say tha
We did
1543,  Monday,  8  7. 24
1024,  2sday,  9  7. 24

8.7.24


Admittedly Youve admittedcant pullaway pullback    Admittedly
                                                                        If you have no discipline you havent initiative
All ears

Wrong.

    Of course

So tell me  Instruct me

You seem to think there’s . .
. . There is

There is what?

Connective tissue

Theyre tethered bound tied no daylight between em  An intimate bondage     I know

You want to secondguess me

there would have been a GULP there
                                       if he had spit
Youre wise not to challenge me


I wait on no one

I follow my instincts  experience        

Instinct foments initiative

Initiative informs decision

Decision parks your ass in the lead 

Case in point youre rearguard
                                  Safe an secure
Somebody has to

   Somebody


Youre them

Youre responsible for my six

Stabbed in the back
Youre to blame

Woud be an ugly failing



You think mighty highly of yourself.

I don
        I know me
Havent ever been different

Some think thas unfortunate  Baneful

I woudnt know

I was made this way

Hadnt a choice


But youve had that luxury

Have chose safe  An secure

No one blames you I don


Safe an secure

1543,  Monday,  8  7. 24
2156,  Monday

she came into the apartment
                                he had finished showeringwas having a cold beerwas a hot day  was making fruit salad to have with coldcut sandwiches potato salad for dinner

Saturday he worked

she was tipsy was drinking coolers in the shade with three of her friends
                                                                               Are you coming out?
Ive been out all day long  No

You’re not coming outside to sit with us you could come out when you’re done with the fruit salad you’re almost done.

Baby  Ive been out
                     When Im finished here Im turning some Coltrane going to sit on the back porch under the wisteria have another beer read

You should come out and sit with us.

Youre enjoying one another
                             When youre ready to ea . .
. . Can I invite them for . .
. . No
        You covered the coolers correct Were not feeding them they can go home

You’re being rude.

My intention is to enjoy you our dinner
                                         Thatheyre divorced have children at home youve generated them plenty respite
They can go home

Do you understand you’re hurting their feeling?you give them no time.

Before I came in to shower I gaveem bout ten minutes

No. Not that.

Not tha

No. fidgeted with the bottle in her hands thumped it with her thumb  dull thuds
                                                                                     They think you don’t like them.
Thas wrong Yaoughta correctem

Correct them?
                Correct them how?

Tellem its not tha I don likeem
                                  Tell them   I do not think of them

1325,  Monday,  8  7. 24

he was high
she was not

a telephone conversation twothousand miles apart
                                                          he was foreverimpressed
words flying through the air
through him
              still through wire
his transmissions rarely fucked up
                                     a price he was yet willing to absorb despite AT&T fucking him an whoever else in the ass

did he like being fucked in the assNo
                                       but he didnt like inferior cell service or marveled at smartphones  iPhone  Samsung Galaxy Huawei sounds fun Lenovo Legion Xiaomi on a sushi menu hed order it Poco Oppo ZTE Blade Vivo
LG THinQ Alcatel

they are addictive people keptemheldem as tight as their cocks an cuntscould very well be called heroin cocaine crackcocaine alcohol fentanyl Barbiturates methadone crystalmeth Amphetamines Benzodiazepines whoknew xylazine tranq whoknew  nicotine
a World Wide Addiction
                         SURE addicts dig other addicts
makeem available to children aid their miseducation indoctrination deterioration derangement

HMMM
        maybe he did like takin it in the ass



   Escalator
             You know why escalators an elevators

Coming out of the blue on me, Joe.
No
     Yamentioned him

Oh. You could have said golden escalator.
Anya know why

I don’t, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me.

Stairs

Stairs?
Cant negotiate them Gets out over the top of his toes headlong tumble
                                                                           Imagine the smearmarks
Yalike escalators

I’ve never thought about it I don’t mind them.

They terrified me when I was a boy
                                      Particularly going downAwJesus

But you were okay heading up?

Yah Used its momentum timed my hop my hurtle

But not going down?

Ohno nono  Ya familiar gristmill shredder maw
she laughed
Don laugh
Sorry I’m sorry.
                  Was imagining your horror. Being gobbled up.
Yah
        Like an Asian eating a bowl of rice with chopsticks
Itsybitsy bits shreds
                        Horrid
An I aint dead till my heads shred brain gobbled

Horrible


Traumatic childhood.

Fucking malls

1441,  Thursday,  4  7. 24
1052,  Monday,  8  7. 24

after lambasting himconcurring he had no discipline he happened upon an article on Thoreau Transcendentalism

usually he wasnt one to heap on pile on but when the gods align the stars throwdown an form a smiley face on the black sky he couldnt sidestep it
                            “The best that you can write will be the best you are.”
truly
      its wasnt meant alone for Mr Undisciplinedbut
he sharply pointed it out snapped off the point in him then bludgeoned him with its hardwood shaft

You coud write

I could write.
              Who?
Whomever
            I write threefour letters a week Ive not considered it a discipline I will now
You love getting bills advertisements coupons that you hardlyever use   only them in your mailbox

Can you recallremember the light inside you when someone took time out of their dayimagined you  as they wrote
Its a visitation
Metaphysical

Cuts both ways


It cuts both ways.
                   Cheap cut.
Ohnobrother price of stamps today  I have letters that have three cent stamps on th . .
. . You keep letters?

I keep letters I keep the day they were written keep their explanations wishes their mundane  I keep their words
Many are dead now

Those are the only words I have to listen to to restore resurrect their voice in my ears



I can see by your expression you don believe meyou woudnt

You don receive letters

You don write letters


Realise  When youre dead you will be silent

0910,  Monday,  8  7. 24