. . . you . . yamake my fucking blood run cold.

                                                     gruesome statement

in the script

the actors delivery was superb utterlyconvincing their expression stony their tone  disgusting

if someone had said that to him

                                   hed be crushed

unlikely                                                          

the only people who dare speak like that are men

                                          Correction he interrupted himself

Entitled  white men

their ignorance unparalleled

                              believe they can say whatever they want to whomever they want

                                                                                                    otherwise

what else is entitlement for

the colour of their skin for

   and feeling it slip from their grasp

                                        which is natural evolving

ask an honest athlete

Only natural.

. . . make my blood run cold.

                               one may ask themselves Whadid I do or Whadid they think I did

but theyd only be questioning themselves

cruelty doesnt usually occur to them

cruelty is a cut of cloth that entitlement encourages

                                                        without

weel

       theyd be no better 

but they are

Gospel

2304,  Sunday,  28  1. 24

2208,  Monday,  29  1. 24

the on-line program he was watching was interruptedruptured by an advertisement he had to tolerate for 5 seconds before he was able to strike SKIP AD

“No living being should ever eat processed food for every single meal of their lives . . .”SKIP

the commercial had wandered in beneathadjacent to an APSCA headline

                                                                              Whastha

American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

                                                             which differs from SPCA

Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

SPCA is local

APSCA is national

                    he read it receives significant donations however distributes very little money to support local SPCAs

probably political

                   donate to formers campaign  he spends it on his personal legal fees

he found the advertisement deceptive

                                         despite appreciating its message

deceptive

because

             let him say this about tha

“No living being should ever eat processed food for every single meal of their lives . . .”                                                                                                                               people 

spend significant money to eat microwaved items an meals

1851,  Sunday,  28  1. 24

1353,  Monday,  29  1. 24

The Farmer’s Dog  https://www.facebook.com/thefarmersdog/videos/long-live-dogs/559399065590659/

he used to do this

                        A LOT

used to 

           pack a bong bowl

roll a thick tight joint

                       impale a fingerrolled bead of opium  firebleed ghostwhite thread of vapour into a pint glass to flickerexpire

Inhale

   when it wasnt cool

while his children slept soundly under his carehis watch  his love   STONED  

                                                                                   far cry from a needles biteTASTY

matches  propanelighters quiverin flames

babes

        fast asleep

all so much that  loving children    theyd never learn

                                                          because

they emerged in the END in the Sanctuary he and his wife erected

                                                                          not a betting man

he WON

            if he had been

hed have bet heavy

                       because

he was a closet psychopath

   sometimes in the mirror

                             his reflection wisely turned away

when youre able to do that

you can do anything    

2343,  Sunday,  28  1. 24

cat on a spit

  pussy

one might think would beckon threshold amnesia virtually ineffectual against him because of his longlong memory which preceded

Doorway Effect

Christ  trap doors

                    one closes another opens

Nina Simone  Feeling Good  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHs98TEYecM                                  

go out through ENTER

come in through EXIT

                       unless

one can be coercedextorted   forced  to follow the flock

Look around.

he took a gander

Just do what they do.

   BAAA

          he didnt think so

was cleaning catboxes this morning

                                       made him laugh

thought  Furry little food processors

                                        which made him laugh even harder

no big leap to human beings

he shared with his brother

called him

             Woudya agree tha youre a food processor

Is there a backstory to your assessment?

he explained

   No.

        I don’t use a catbox. Do you?

Only when I want to piss them off because they pissed me off

   Really?

You know me  Whadaya think

Makes no sense. You end up cleaning up after yourself.

Like we don already

Fuck.

       There is that.

Istha

You may have convinced me I’m a food processor.

I am

 

See if ya forget that

0959,  Sunday,  28  1. 24

1458,  Sunday

Rage Against the Machine  A Bullet to the Head  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8YsF-sBf0Q 

. . . no, not really.

Ohreally

No.  Not really.

Woudya have me say otherwise  Lie

Why would you be so tactless?

Woudnt tha be in the eyethe ear of the beholder

You really wouldn’t be embarrassedmortified . announcing that?

Announce it ohhellyah  Why woud tha stop me

                                                   Ya know me Professin the truthrelatin my experience Of course I woud Hands down

Have you actually said it out loud? Heard yourself?

Have  An I hear it in my head

                                Aint no damn bit of difference

Saying it, actually might.

Prudes yah otherwise no

                              Now if youd say it it might  Cuz ya lack conviction  Wheels woud come off the ride

Maybe Ill dar . .

. . Stop  Darin me unnecessary

                                  I can say so  Its a natural course   No wiltin rose

   So say.

I was going to but ya cut me off

Awright.  I’m listenin . .

. . Eatin cat aint eatin pussy

   OhmyGod, Jesus.

Woudnt eat Jesus

2155,  Saturday,  27  1. 24

0100,  Sunday,  28  1. 24

he walked down through trees into a homeless camp at the rivers edge

man had a crude barbecue going turning a small animal on a length of rebar heldup between crotches of hacked green wood

       man stoodhis back to the water as he approached

Easy friend  Got canned vegetable Im happy to share

he was wary

Whas on the spit

Cat.

       Eat cat?

Cant say I have  Why not

It’s cat.

Youre eatin

I am.  I have.

Yasayin its an acquired taste

Don't know. You look wellfed.

Have been  I was passin through smelled the roast saw the fire

                                                                      Thought we coud break bread  Converse

Im walkinaway after

                       Thought yamay like friendly company

You think a lot.

More than ya know

                       As I said  Converse company eat    I can walk away now

You got money?

abruptly None of your business

he shifted on his feet

                         I was thinkin . .

. . Don

          Converse company eat  Im gone

   came down off his high horsesquatted on his heels

                                                         What vegetables?

Canned mustard greens  Ought to go good with cat   Couple tatters we can toss in the fire

Any liquor?

No

Sure.

 

pulled haunches off the roast placed them on scrubbed boards  Catsup?

Catsup Thank you donmind if I do

                                        You from the South

Whyya ask?

I call it ketchup Illinois  Ive only heard it call catsup in the South

1500,  Saturday,  27  1. 24

alt-J  In Cold Blood  (Baauer remix)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaT_awMGiL8

22-20s  Devil in Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0dd6CQrxUE

Black Milk  Brain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNiY4XoTGV8

. . . Damn.

  Whastha

Dammit.

              Forgot that I was going to say.

It happens to the best of us an youre certainly the best of us

laughed

         Small sample size, man.

Tough to get a lot of people in on a telephone call

                                                   Videocallwhich I woud not be party to weel then   youd remain the best of us

Would you stop it?

Is it coming back

You’ve distracted me.

I was hoping that perhaps turning you roundanround ya might get a look in a mirror ansee wha it was tha slipped your mind

Oh. My mind wasn't following.   It was staring.

                                                   Threshold.

Threshold

Threshold amnesia.

Thas a little severe

It has another name, monike . .

. . Doorway effect

Yes.

      That’s it.

I like your enthusiasm

So you’re familiar with it?

I am HappensI believe when were jugglin a lot of balls  We react to a thought tha weve not processed thoroughly paid attention to glanced We react It laughs like a mischievous child an runs off

                                                                                We stand there with our dicks or whaever in our hands Whawas I thinkin

he laughed

             There’s that.

Yah theres tha

 

Anything

   Nope.  Left.

                    Not even a forwarding address.

Bastard

          All alone in the world

1647,  Saturday,  13  1. 24

1245,  Saturday,  27  1. 24

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20160307-why-does-walking-through-doorways-make-us-forget

Im really overjoyed by names that dictate destine individuals to their later professions  unerringly

   he tipped his head There’s a lot to unpack in that remark.

he damn near tipped his head in kind How so

                                                  Seems mighty direct to me

Names dictate?  They destine?

                                      Unerringly?

Yes

I suppose you have examples, not one, but exampl . .

. . Off the top of my head four

   Right off the top of your head?

Yah

      Ill give you one Give it some thought   Ill bet seeing where Im going youll probably be able to think of someone too

Think of someonelike . . someone I would know?

Correct I knowknew three of the four  the fourth was related to me by a woman who knew him

Him.  Are all your examples men?

Yes

So do you mea . .

. . I do not

            I don believe theyre sex specific The four Ill mention happen to be men

Names dictating destining . their professions.

Yes Hear me out

All ears.

Played college ball with a guy named Hammer middle linebacker  went on to play in the pros

Oh.

Yasee

I do.

Slaughter . .

. . You knew a butcher or a murderer? I know you did a stint as a news reporter.

Dr Slaughter Plastic surgeon   Gotta enjoy the sarcasm

                                                             Dr Bonebrake  Family physician internist

Funhuh

barely a nod That’s three.

The fourth Her O B G Y N 

                             Yawanna guess

No. You say.

Dr Oleck  

1842,  Reggaefriday,  26  1. 24

1038,  Saturday,  27  1. 24

Ted    Boys Don’t Cry  I Want to be a Cowboy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHCsbrc8xKA

1148, Sat  FLASH!  This just in!  Medical Director of Montana's Planned Parenthood, Dr. Samuel Dickman

talking with a young friend he mentioned his disappointment 

she asked what was bothering him

I was talking with an friend from the old neighbourhood shes been strugglingcaring for her mother the rest of the family has refused to help even if only to take their mother for a week so she could have a break  Shes givenup capitulated

   Capitulated.

                     What does that mean?

Resigned Surrendered

                         As I said  givenup  Afraid her family saw her coming an when she stepped in they hustled out  She thought theyd have her back  Yah  Stabbed her in the back  Told her She your problem now   They washed their hands

That’s terrible.

It is

    Its amazing wha familys can do  I often joke tha family an dysfunction are synonymous

she groaned

There yago  you groaned

The way you said . it didn’t sound like you were joking.  You were being facetious.

   No  Sarcastic

                  Sarcasm is wasted on the thick   Youre not thick

the quiet sounded like she wanted to smile  but withdrewheld back

You can smile baby  Youre not thick

                                       If you were Id let you know  As a matter of fact ifya were we woudnt be talkin

I have better things to do

she cleared her throat

                         Are you teasing me?

No

     I genuinely like yougenuinely  enjoy our conversations

Ohgood, thank you.

                        I like you too.

since that conversation a week earlier  on the telephone  sitting before his computer on-line he had readhad heard commentators use capitulation capitulated capitulating not the three timesthings happen in threes  but every day a couplethree times a day  asif saying itplacing it in the ether it had spread pollenated   flourished

having a beer with a buddy

                               Youre familiar with the term capitulation

I am.

When was the last time you used it.

    I couldn’t tell yathough for the most part not readily part of my vocabulary. Why?

he related what transpired the week prior

So what are you saying?

I don know

               If I were suspiciousan Im not  Id think my place was bugged or some fuckin listenin algorithm decided it liked the word an disseminated it

Sounds suspiciously scifi.

The best scifi is speculative

Then, fantasy?

Not keen on itnot the fantastic

Ohstop!

           Most of the shit out of your mouth is fantastic

       

 2142,  Thursday,  18  1. 24

1409,  Reggaefriday,  17  1. 24

Led Zeppelin  No Quarter  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vG_mTt6hCs 

I think Im gonna see if I can break into the black market

What do you mean? Drugs?

Yah

        Marijuana shoud never have be scheduled by the government with heroin It was is on par with alcoholalthough while meeting many a mean drunk I cant say I ever met a mean stoner

                                                                           Cant sell maryjane Legalised  An I like wha theyve done with the product  he scratched his cheek just beneath his eye with his thumbnail

So ah . . what are you proposing?

Thinkin of going into the market with mifepristone Cant have these whitefuck males females dicktate to women wha belongs only between them and their physicians their families shoud they chose

You really think the Cour . .

. . I don put a damn thing pastem Theyre either the Real McCoy or believe theyre indebted an political operatives

Being unelected helps  Lifetime appointments help

Yah  Push comes to shove Ill push

2332,  day-between-2-Ts,  17  1. 24

1341,  Thursday,  25  1. 24

Steppenwolf  Pusher  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zv6PY1BQLBE

made him sick

                           https://www.axios.com/2024/01/24/rape-pregnancy-abortion-ban-states

Southern states banned abortion states

                                           where theres rape no exceptions why woud any selfrespecting white man desirous that the white birth rate go up go to Disneyworld for a good time please excuse him for all the unnamed amusement parks and places Southerners flock

berserk America

testy America

               Land of the Free  Home of the Brave   Yah not so much

a land of Fear

   land of Fear of the Other

a socialmediated cellphone America millions

                                                who are unwilling to find the facts an evidence an learn for themselves 

led around by their nose

1523,  day-between-2-Ts,  24  1. 24

1225,  Thursday,  25  1. 24

. . . No thank you.

Awcome on, its free eats. It’s crab.  Come.

No thanks

You don’t like crab?

I like it fine

             If youd please extend my thanks for the invite It was very thoughtful

They’re going to be disappointed.

Stop woudya

                 Their whole gang is going to be there  Correct

Yes.

Theyll be fine be jimdandy

Man, you really ought to come out, enjoy the night, food, company.

   Wha have I told you about tha

Oh. You’re going to pull your introvert card.

Shucks Ya remember

                         But better yet  whaelse have I told you

What?  What more is there?

Performance

Perfor . . what? What are you talking about?

Really  Again

                   About me socialising

You’re a gas, entertaining as hell, you're very socia . .

. . An its exhausting Its performance performative   Im done performing Im not singing for my supper excuseme  for a free supper

                It aint

I don’t get it.

No yawoudnt youre a freakin social butterfly  

                                                  Youre also an extrovert an don tell me you don buy into labels  Youre terribly unlike your Aquarius sign while I shriek Aries

Bullshit he sighed

                       They’re bullshit.

Theyre not  Like anything ya have to be receptivekeep an open mind

I have an open mind . .

. . For wha appeals to you

That’s not true.

Knock yourself out

                        Im not singin for my supper

1647,  Monday,  22  1. 24

1142,  Thursday,  25  1. 24

The Mamas & Papas  Sing for Your Supper  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZrdkm_7IEE

I gotta tell ya tha photo of the cardinal against the cold an snow you shared with me on-line was awesome  How you get your shots blows me away.

Well thank you. Lotsa patience.

                                    And bait.

Bait I love it   Its a necessary ingredientfixture to catch prey  winged finned fourlegged  twolegged 

Twolegged?

Yes

       Thank you so much  I was really tickled I havent seen a cardinal since I left Illinois  an only in Illinois  When we were kids I remember there used to be a lot around  Year round too yah

When we were kids yes, I’d agree.

                                        Do you know what they say said about a Winter Cardinal?

I do not

It’s an Old World concept.

I cant imagine anything boutme strikes you as Old World

                                                               Religious

Yes.

Obviously Christian

Yes.

he could hear her wrinkle her nose Youre dying to say arent you

Not dying.

Not dying

             Although you believe its import is worthwhile

It’s import. How you talk.

                                You say the oddest things.

Comon Tryin to offerya a fig leafsome credence tha Ill be able to tolerate Religion asya know wes donsee eye to eye

I am willing to listen

If you’re willing.

I say wha I mean

You do. Yes. Brutally.

                          Awright.

The cardinal’s red plumage has spiritual significance. In Christian symbolis . .

. . Id prefer symbology   silence   Pardon me excuse my interruption

                                                                           Symbolism

   Yes. Symbolism.

                      The red is reminiscent of Christ’s blood. It symbolizes sacrifice, and redemption. The winter cardinal’s presence is interpreted as a divine messenger, carrying blessings and spiritual guidance.

Love, hope, and joy are ever-present.

A good message for believers

   Yes.

Anhere I thought it was just a beautiful bird Beautifully crimson against the white snow and cold  It makes me I think of fire flames of winged finned fourlegged twolegged passion 

1716,  Reggaefriday,  19  1. 24

2210,  day-between-2-Ts,  24  1. 24

https://oldworldchristmas.com/blogs/the-yule-blog/the-winter-cardinal-symbolism-and-significance-in-christmas-celebrations#:~:text=Symbolism%20of%20the%20Winter%20Cardinal&text=Its%20vibrant%20red%20feathers%20are,joy%20during%20the%20holiday%20season.