Aww  digging inWho  are you 

                                           Who are you

the bungled the botchedthe expendable 

                                         Nietzsche posed that  Antichrist  published 1895 written in 1888  his publishers withheld it due to its content     FEAR

   Who are you

hed have to identify with the expendable

                                           not that he thought he was  but he doesnt call the shots  cunt  whitey doNOT that their opinion mattered to him 

                                   hed dare them  Step up and tell me to my face  

theyd walk off holding their facetheir Mask in their hands

“Man is the most bungled of all the animals, the sickliest, and not one has strayed dangerously from its instincts. But for all that, of course, ofcourse he is the most interesting.” 

                                                         innarestin  is ambivalent 

                                                                                         Nietzsche didnt say shit

1889 he was committed to an asylum  purportedly a mental breakdown after witnessing a horse whipped in Turin 

                                                                                                                        or not

does it matter

0855,  Thursday,  13  10. 22

1926,  Twosday,  18  10. 22

Nadja  The Bungled & The Botched  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfOP9dbSBRY 

https://www.faena.com/aleph/the-true-story-of-the-turin-horse-or-nietzsches-horse

he picked on Dior unmercifully cunt Dior  but since  not another advertisement has presented in his emailbeen directed at him

he really appreciated that 

                            anto address his appreciation he also wanted to express his thankfulness for Frances laïcité  in the world because of the French 

                                     Thank you  he genuinely meant it

laïcité means secularism separation of Church and State yes ofcourse others countries have the notion of secularism however particular to the French it seemed him laïcité also means freedom from religion 

                                                                                             Aah  freedom FROM religion  

as America contends with its White Christian Nationalism hard to say around a mouthful of McDonalds hamburger problem laïcité elated him 

                   to be honest he couldnt remember where his eye fell on laïcité but it looked so much like lactate save for the crazy accent marks he was immediately attractedcurious

he was terribly happy he looked into it 

                                         anwas keeping his fingers crossed that Dior would maintainhonour their détente remain off his back so he could stop calling it cunt

        

2350,  Thursday,  15  9. 22 

1139,  Twosday,  18  10. 22 

https://www.americanprogress.org/article/christian-nationalism-is-single-biggest-threat-to-americas-religious-freedom/ 

https://www.newyorker.com/podcast/politics-and-more/how-white-christian-nationalists-seek-to-transform-america 

https://www.thebulwark.com/white-christian-nationalism-out-in-the-open/ 

earlier he said badgering 

                          Dior Ralph Lauren  Facebook 

  its bitching now

                  cunt Italians  figa fica feminine fico masculine  he figured figa was a figa was a figa Canali just another figa 

              fashioning menswear asif he had any interest in menswear

black tshirt 501 jeans leather belt no socks  Skechers

comfort

not torment

why algorithms would send fancypants an Facebook to his email suggested they understood they could frustrate him a wee bit but then he was living and breathing and a machine and its applications werent 

                                                                                         he might be frustrating them more 

they cant work him out 

he hasnt taken one of their suggestions 

                                             What was he?  DEAD? 

how much fun would it be if Bezos BOZO albeit a sharp cookie convinced The Washington Post to drop vowels 

                                                                                                                          Wht ws h? DD?

laughing wouldnt be as much fun hee hee tee hee   hahahah 

                                                                    h h  t h  hhhh 

   figas all

1635,  Sunday,  16  10. 22

1913,  Monday,  17  10. 22

Ya ba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dibba dum All day long, I'd biddy biddy bum  Zero Mostel  If I Was a Rich Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtyinYpNkAU   

two small women if they were any smaller hed be able to eat them like black olives off his fingertips like when he was a boy 

     they looked as tasty as black olives                                      

they worked at the market he frequented

Beatrice he called her Bee appropriately she worked the Courtesy Counter 

                                                                              because the market was a chain it consistently made corporate mistakes which benefited it a wronged item five dollars or less he was reimbursed his money and the item was free

                                not curiously the wrong price was always more than advertised the shelf price ansince he bought very few items at a time ancalculated the approximate total he was imminently aware if corporate screwed up

he was on fire 

               or rather they were

last four times he was there they were wrong

he was getting to know Bee well 

                                     We screw up again? 

They did not you Bee

Lucinda he called Lucinda she worked as a cashier anwas always playing with her hair colour she reminded him of psychedelicswirled cotton candy but not on a stickOHNO he was amazed how much was packed onto her frame calling a four-nine woman curvaceous seemed ridiculous but that was the word

                                                                             he didnt expressly try to be in her line but whenever he found himself in it he was delighted

they had breezyjazzy repartee 

she said she was a reader

                             she knew several of the books he reading it was his habit to bring a book because it was also corporates thing to make people wait there were seven check-outs but usually only three were manned 

                                                                                                                 or one could go to Self-Checkout where mistakes were also being made however no liquor sales were allowed to be transacted 

he liked his beer 

it was on an occasion that he decided rather than have a beer at home hed go to a bar that broadcasted professional football it was Monday best thing about the broadcast was that it was muted it was like going home 

Billy the bartender sharp guy jazzy too   Billy the usual 

Ya got it, Teach. 

                 Billy called him Teach because he said he looked like a teacher that was likely because whenever he went he was by himself so he brought a couple books pen and paper evenif there was football the void of pregame halftime there was always time to read or write  a letter or whaever roamed in his mind

Thank you Billy he handed him a card to start a tab closed out with cash

Yabetcha, Teach, rooting for somebody tonight?

Cheering for the Chiefs

Aah, I thought you were smarter than that.

I havent any skin in the game  unlike you I imagine

Yah, suckers, fans, some real yahoos in here, they’re easy, an I don’t feel bad taking their money because I play the odds.

Odds I don gamble work too hard for my money

Which means if ya did bet you’d probably back a winner . . not a fan are ya?

No  Me an fandom don mix

Smart teacher. somebody called Billys name I gotta go, excuse me, Teach. 

he arrived earlier than he thoughthad thrown the canvas bag over his shoulder and walked despite reading he made really good time he thought he stop more than a couple of time to make notes

                                                                            he took a small table along the brick wall faced so he could see who entered pulled out a clipboard and pen and sipping his beer looked around at the characters 

he didnt know a one

                       ansince that was the case he worked from Lockes clean slate  tabula rasa

then 

      in walked Bee and Lucinda

they immediately saw him waved enthusiastically

he heldup a peace sign

they motored over to him

a couple of real sprites

he stood Bee Lucinda  Whas up girls

Jesus, it was a Monday at work. 

Bee nodded in agreement It was crazy, so Lu and I decided we needed a drink, put the day behind us.

Lemme help Ill buy you a drink we can get to know each other better then ahead of the gamemaybe the day behind you  youll be able to enjoy each other rather than bitch

Aww, I like to bitch . .

. . Lu’s really good at it, she’s amazing, she has the best insults you ever heard.

A sharp tongue Lucinda

I can be acidic  she winked but it can be soft too.

Ooh yes, very soft. giggled Bee

You girls are nuts Tell Billy to put your drinks on Teachs card

Teach’s? they remarked as one

I can see that. said Bee

Yes. Definitely. Lucinda said Can we call you that too? she pouted Bee seeing her pout stuck out her lower lip

Comon girls sure  whaever turns you on

Seems we got ourselves a teacher, Trix. Lucinda winked a second time  Trix laughed bawdily

he joined into their laughter 

                               Sounds like you two are going to be a handful

  he wasnt one who spoke of the future 

he ate them off his fingers like black olives

late evening,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  10. 22

1211,  Monday,  17  10. 22

Lucinda Williams  When I Look at the World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiJGIBE541M

he thought there was his mistakehe thought 

                                                  he didnt think like others 

Maw  ya drop me on my head when I was a baby

Heckno . . maybe your father . you were fat so I was always very conscious of where I was where you were so we didn’t have an accident.

Dad  ya drop me on my head when I was a baby

No. Why do you ask?

I don think like other people

No you don’t, never have.

                           But you understand that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I don think it is

Good, that’s good.

                    Son, you know your mindwho you are . . so don’t back down, and when you’re wrong admit it . . which I also know of you.

Thas because you and Maw raised me right

We raised youthat’s all we can take credit for, whether we were right or not I can’t say, though I appreciate you think so.

he chuckled  You can poll your brothers and sisters, they may not agree with you.

No no thank you I know they don think like me  I have a hard time asking them for the time of day

Oh, son, that’s harsh.

I am I know  havent time for ignorance or stupidity although there are vastly more who are ignorant  seems they don wanna work that hard

Well, son . . different strokes eh?

Maybe different if so many werent the same

2040,  Twosday,  11  10. 22

1206,  Sunday, 16  10. 22

it was a bookcase a barrister bookcase not a sexy birthday gift utterly functional  she always knew exactly what to give him 

         she knew he was simple

                                               

Awbabe I love it

Yes you do.

he laughed 

             Yare not even going to feign modesty 

  No.  she smiled sensational dimples 

                                       Many books you have most people don’t . or even know exist and, besides, the girls will eventually be interested anif the books are laying about they’ll get into them without us knowing . . they’re not youthey she noddedshe nodded absently when something worried her  they have to be older than you were when you first read them . you were precocious for your age   I didntwe didnt have vacations as kids so books were my escape   Yes, I know, I understand.   I wasnt necessarily precocious   Stop. You were.   Keeping the books in the bookcase, your library, you tell the girlslet them know . they have to ask you if they want to read them . . then we’ll know together what they’re reading . . . your parents never knew what you were reading.

I understandsmart However if they ask theyre welcome to whaever books I have

Yes, but they’ll have to ask first.  You didn’t, you sought them out, bought them . . how . when so many were banned . . how?

he winked I knew the right people impressed booksellers I was parchedthey coudnt resist satisfying my thirst 

                                                                                                                     So you understandwere in agreement  girls ask  my books are for the taking

Yes, yes . I do . . but they are not as . promiscuous . as youdespite what you think.  Girls are different than boys.

Not my girls . .

. . Yes your girls. They, despite what you think, are not as outrageous as you. They’ll look at the books. Wonder. Maybe even try to acquire titles without coming to you . or me . but despite your, what shall I call it . . . heavyhandedness . that’s correct I think . . they aren’t you.

Heavyhandedness his turn to nod   Theyre not like you

No.

    No, you’ve made sure of that . but they have my tact, share some sensibilities that you  have  not.  They have my measured sensibilities.

  they did 

              he teased her and the girls that they raised him

                 

2147,  Saturday, 15  10. 22

1105,  Sunday,  16  10. 22

Zero 7  Home  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZW2gw58spU

the badgering continues 

                        cunt Dior cunt Ralph Lauren now joined by cunt Facebook the only distinction is BOOk played the intrigueFear card in an email “Someone tried to log-in to Your Account; user . . .” 

                                                                                          he doesnt have an account

nor will he ever 

               he could hear his bro bray Nothing’s absolute, man. 

  Wanna bet your left testicle Tommy

                                      his name wasnt Tommy but it played nicely off testicle had he said ball he would have said Bobby he found doubleconsonants ending in y fuckin hard to resist  he had been a good Catholic Deny Deny Deny though he quit practising  joking Gawd had let him out of the yellow Presley Cadillac on a deserted shoulder then drove past him time and time again asif the highway was an oval  Hed slow downhe had his thumb out hitchhiking then act asif He suddenly recognised him All-knowing Matthew 10:30 and spedup again Gawd wasnt funny  but maybe if he wore wings Hed stop  however angels are forbidden from attending race tracks so he couldnt shear one jerryrig himself beatific 

                 he practised a face in the mirror with wings he could pull it off  fool Gawd

he wouldnt be in this mindframe if cunts left him alone

1403,  Saturday,  15  10. 22

Nice Inch Nails  Heresy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh31JDDpM5k

as he walked towards the front of the market along the refrigerated premixed salads chopped kale collard mustard paltry display of tofu vegetarian options he saw her  she was deep in thought wore her store smock was holding considering two small prepackaged salads possibly for her afternoon break 

                                                                                 through his mask  Hey ya how ya doin 

  she surfaced  recognised him   through her mask  Oh hi, fine, how are you?

Well thank you

                 Need a coin

Yeah tell me about it, stopping here I thought I knew exactly what I wanted . . 

. . And

Lousy wandering eye.

Impulsive

she eyed him smiled 

                      You’ll never know. he thought he might Hispanic creamedcoffeebrown dark eyes crazy lashes  Built

  Say.

Yes

I understand you went out with two of the girls from here.

No  I ran into them at the bar we shared a couple of drinks

Shared a couple of drinks?  her eyes twinkled

Conversation

That’s what you call it . . conversation?

Awshit couple of kiss an tellers . .

. . Oh yes.

I thought that nonsense was reserved for guys in locker rooms who want to brag

We have a locker room here, in back.  eyes twinklingmask creeping a bit up her face

Havin a good timehuh  howbout you pull your mask down or aside so I can see your ridiculous grinsee your lips curl at what I think are sharp canines

Howbout you imagine? 

                            And who knows . . maybe we’ll run into each other at a bar . . we can have conversation.

  When

after 2300,  Thursday,  13  10. 22

1107,  ReggaeFriday,  14  10. 22

  a penisee 

   virgin

her sanctity

he tried real hard to tempt her

in the vicinity of bed

Ohwell  took the blow job

1149,  Thursday,  13  10. 22

1222,  ReggaeFriday, 14  10. 22

Dior came first hard to believe cunt Ralph Lauren followed in his footsteps 

                                                                               algorithms aiming high just what did they takemilk from their sneaking of his perceived preferences or rather make of their gigabyte desirestheirs to try to manufacture him

they were way offbase

                            without feigning he threw from the rubber to first Ralph wasnt paying attentionmight say oblivious he lead too far offcaught him dead to rights on the base path the first baseman chuckling casually walked towards him Ralph broke for secondSMACK ball in the secondbasemans glove 

                                                                                     he should have an ampoule of cyanide to bitehe wasnt escaping hed been caughtBIG as life on the infield dirt telegenic but got nowhere to run  he broke back to first had he been Ralph he would rather have been tagged out trying for second not capitulate

                                                                                                     capitulate capitulate

a bitch conceding defeatSMACK ball in the first basemans glove who rapped him hard on the skull with his glove like it was a blackjack he was too far from the bag to even attempt to slide   WAY OUT 

talking to the algorithms 

                           Sorry creeps I prefer colourful local motels to upend hotels an concierges     

1845,  Thursday,  13  10. 22

1010,  ReggaeFriday,  14  10. 22

Zero 7  Destiny  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gmGJvAc-ws

I didn’t know that was a thing, is that a thing?

Im tellinya

           Pretty innocuous off the tongue should you say in a nonparticipating salon you can easily excuse yourself  say never mind or yogurt 

Yogurt?  

  TCBY the cluelessness in his face was uncomfortable to witness anhe was usually one who dropped acronyms because he thought them clever The countrys best yogurt

                                                But  as I was saying a hairdresser isnt likely to press you they consider their tip the customers always right  right

Ohright . . that makes sense, no pun intended.

not clever None taken 

So how would you bring it up? continuing proof he wasnt

How woud you 

                   the vacuousness continued Ya keep your ears open eyeballs peeled seques  it killed him Yare clever

I’m not sure I’m that clever.

Then be blatant but keep in mind Never mind keep yogurt in your back pocket

he laughed

            Yogurt in my pants sounds unpleasant.

Id agree

TCB huh?

Yes correct 

            Anyet again  participating salons  Yare in the know he wasnt  he was yanking his chain  he had refused to alter his online dating resumerefused to appreciate that a single dealbreakernot three or four killed the pursuit the appeal   So if a woman owns a dog, you really have no interest in dating her?   If she has small children yare not interested   No I’m not, but they aren’t dogs.   Arent they

he rolled his eyes  Again, TCB means?

Trim cut blow

Trim?

Aesthetician you see one on and off hence trimtrimming things up Cut cut your hair Anablows a blow 

                                                                                                              Theres no expectation of you returning the favour unlike wha I an others woud consider normal sex

Yeah. he sneeredsmacked his lips  Not so much. 

Ya really need to alter your resume man

I'm not going to minimise my chances.

  Yare lying

             For someone who says theyre honest tha behooves me

It’s just a little white lie.

Keep tellin yourself tha keep tellin yourself that  Jaysus

0736,  Saturday,  17  9. 22

1324,  Thursday,  13  10. 22

they were introduced by a casual acquaintance 

he bumped into themhadnt gone there expecting to see anyone 

he went because the bar played pro football games on a big screen muted

                                                                              thats how he watched them at home could do without the gasbaggingthe commentary he knew what he saw      

after a pleasant hello a brief exchange he excused himself and made his way to the bar where he moved a stool aside and stood to watch the game 

                                The usual Billy his usual a double Irish Uinta Detour on tap 

a while later she came up on himtouched his shoulderwound around and stood with her back to the screen so he was able to avert his eyes catch the game

smart cookie  

team he rooted for was up a touchdown driving  inside field goal range 

he asked if he could buy her a drink   

Let me think.

he liked women who thought 

I see you’re wearing a ring.

he didnt follow her eyeshe was 

                                   I am

It’s okay you’re out?

he thought but didnt say what he thought 

                                                Im a big boy Why wouldnt I my wife doesnt mind

she tipped her head like a dog catching a dog whistle

                                                         She doesn’t mind? You have an arrangement . . an open marriage?

She doesnt mind 

                   he let her dig a hole  she could as easily have said no thank you 

but she was interested 

he was interesting

he ask if she wanted a drink  not fuck   

So you have an open marriageyou’re upfront about it? 

                                                           a spade full  then another  

She doesnt mind 

                    he wasnt helping

I don’t know if I want to have a drink with a married man.

Im not married

A divorced man . tried that . . messy.

  No  Unfortunately my wife died 

                                    her hole was pretty deep but he thought if shed like hed buy her a drinkhelp her refill it

I’m sorry.

Me too

I . . I . .

Made an assumption

embarrassed Made something . . didn’t I?   

Buy you a drink

Yes . please . . that would be nice.

Fine  Billy 

             Youll excuse me if occasionally I glance at the game he was up ten

I like football, we can watch together.

Cheering for one over the other

she glanced at the screen looking back he saw she recognised their uniforms 

                                                                                  Who are you cheering for?

No  Rooting for one over the other 

                                    Billy came up  What will you have? 

I’ll have what you’re having.

Double up the usual please Billy

Yabetcha.

  And

You’re sparse with your words.

I am

Chiefs.

Yare beginning to see the light                                 

1840,  Monday,  3  10. 22

1411,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  10. 22