riddle

             What are snowflakes?

Have to remember it is a riddle

                              he turned it over and over in his mouth Wha are snowflakes  he languished  thinking

Someone else?Anyone else?

he wasnt intimidated

hed answer in time

he heard voices answerdidnt hear the answers   several answered

You. What are snowflakes?

You he meant him

Im thinking

Time for thinking is ove . .

. . Im thinking

voices he hearddidnt hear earlier murmured

Quiet!

        Boy!

What are snowflakes?

Do you need to repeat it again an again so you don forget

Impertinent . .

. . The question is not a riddl . .

. . I said it was.

You arent to say

the voices heard and unheard started  became birdharsh raucous   scolding

AN WHO ARE YOU

the room went still silent not an clingingecho  no one shifted in their seats  no table chair legs scuffed the hardwood floor

       there were breaths  anticipation   anger dislike

he didnt care

Snowflakes are memories

No two alike

An melted  irretrievable  

Unless one is willing to remember

Appear cold  brittle

Are pliant supple as they relax   melt

Memories

1934,  Thursday,  28  4. 22

I thinkDON’T! preemptively he pointed a finger at him Don’t interrupt please

                                                                                  I think there’s a big difference between men and women, and I think the best place to see it is in  construction, that said, or any job performed out of doors or is physically demanding, jobs that women don’t like, who’d prefer to stay indoors and do things women do or would rather do than work in weather inclimate weather, or where they’d have to shower at the end of the day.

    rather than declare his bitter disagreementhe assumed it evident on his face theyve had this conversation before

so rather than say he served him a dense heavyslice of silent It goes without saying an because he was curious if hed pick up on his aggravation

                          going without saying was becoming somewhat of a maxim with him of recent

Do you disagree?

You must disagree.

I can see it in your face.

   Ah yare not blind Goes without saying

                                            Ofcourse I disagree Ive disagreed with youthis tenet of yours many times before I have a hard time understanding why you continue to badger me or beat this dead horse

We’ll say I’m persistent.

                           a superior look like black mold crept across his face or the look of rot 

Its not flattering patting yourself on the back

                                                Ill reiterate  I believeI don think  I believe men an women are more alike than you think  certainly the realm is narrower than you imagine

I disagree.

Yes you do Your sexist tendencies prevail however they are understandable given your upbringing entitlement The fact of the matter is you value men more than women

That’s not true.

It is You constantly consistently disregard women in favour of men Your repeated argument conveniently omits any historical perspective does not admit women have been coerced denied have suffered have had to endure have had to contend with for thousands of years

                                       Lemme snatch a random year he smiled wryly Lets say Fiftyone after women having had their heads kneeled on since time immemorial  now because young girls have been let up off the ground you thinkya maintain they are uninterestedworse they cant do physical work  Thats ridiculous

I’m not saying they can’t do the work, they don’t want to.

An this is based on your deep knowledge and understanding of women

                                                                            Ill cut you to the quick aside from dating then marrying a women you havent raised girlshad sons  an given your premiseyour tenet had you daughters you would have raised them differently than you raised your boys Thats ignorance speaking  Mebbe ya read something once upon a time and have made it gospel but ya don know

                                                     Anything a boy can do a girl can do an by my experiences thereby valid estimations likely theyd do it better than a boy

No. sounded like a stone dropped in a deep pool of water BLUP  

  Ya don know

I do.

Book learnin

              An experiment if you would since you havent legitimate experience or data suppose boys were held in a facility girls were held in a separate facility and the boys would do what you think girls prefer let them play with dolls sew clothes bake bread likewise the girls would do what you think boys prefer let them play with toy trucks tools Lincoln logs erector sets play army   For thousands of years 

                                                                Whas the end result conclusion as high school science experiments are run  I hope  

That’s a ridiculous experiment.

Its not its been done Thought youd pickup on the hint of thousands of years 

                                                                                 If young boys hadnt a choicehistorically denied choicedenied their innate abilities I believe youd see an end product results  similar to today

                                                                                                           Boys havent been shackledhavent worn the reins anymore than white men have suffered the lash or non-personhood of slavery  of black men and women enslaved in America

  Finis

           Yasee As also earlier in our conversation  common sense aint common

1018preferred – 2218,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  4. 22

1720,  Thursday,  28  4. 22

Rage Against the Machine  Wake Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZP0imAZSSsI 

https://sciencing.com/5-components-of-a-well-designed-scientific-experiment-12750884.html

seduction

he the poor old thing  didnt grasp it

he wasnt seducedhadnt seduced anyone  hadnt played his cards hadnt manipulated hadnt seen the lights go outdim in their victims eyes as they submitted

                                    submitted to him against their better judgment

not that there was judgment  

that did not matter

    mentors

               menThors Gods   who exercised slyundaunting power over their acolytes and fanatics who were willing to please them  however that may be

                                           Thor  thorn  thorn in their sides

it can be disturbing how things play out when one is unwilling to displease their mentor

conceding to a perceived power

determined irrefutable

determined unquestionable

      thoroughly   onesided

                               in spite an no matter how gorgeous the facets imagined  how theyre cut manufactured womanufactured 

                  indecent  marvelous   watching themselvesseeing themselves in slenderslivered mirrors

committed

inextricable

Ya really donsee how someone is seducedcan be seduced can be enticed to do something they otherwise might not

No.  such a terrible bitter pious expression  it was hard to imagine that piousness  someone who has disavowed faith religion tarot horoscope  Bazooka Joe fortunes

                                                  "Do not ever be content to follow others. You are born to lead, and you must do so without fear of what may happen."

                                                  No I do not.

No I don

          the End an Beginning

So nice to be so sure

2214,  Twosday,  26  4. 22

2356,  Twosday

https://jewishcurrents.org/a-short-history-of-bazooka-joe-fortunes

Traffic  John Barleycorn Must Die  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lYMW24HgGVE

good ol’ Greeney that blonde Neanderthal bombshell  up to her old tricks

                                                                             she said cable  he said cabal

nawhshesays Marshall law  he says martial law

Martial? What’s wrong with that?

Martial She spelled it M A R S H A L L  there was the United States Marshall Plan after World War Two to help stablise European countries in its aftermath

                                      She wasnt encouraging Former to do that     

Nooo. had to love all his Os in no a lingering disbelief  She really tweeted Marshall law? I'd heard about it, though hadn’t read it.

Don take my word for it treat yourself

0952,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  4. 22

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/maddowblog/s-funny-s-not-greenes-marshall-law-text-rcna26001?cid=eml_mra_20220426&user_email=e4c91d00eead6d858374885584701152a02c6d873bb23bf387b4583a289e5951

 

WOULD I LIE TO YOU?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C3HYOLJSoM

   Hmm

          Lemme ask are you a Republican

Did President Biden win the 2020 Election or was it fraudulent 

Was January6 an insurrection

Elephants in the room 

                        Who knew the room was that large                                                                                        

Former

estimated 30,000 lies  https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-election-2020/trump-lies-false-presidency-b1790285.html 

McCarthy

https://www.politico.com/news/2022/04/26/kevin-mccarthy-donald-trump-tape-00027986?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Sentences%204/27&utm_term=Sentences 

Apparently yare cool with elected liars   an electing them

1544,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  4. 22

when Moby said it it puzzled him

                                   he knew what a glockenspiel waspreferred a xylophone preferred wood to metal keys an because he reallyreally liked the way xylophone looked   Agatha he didnt care for the way the name lookeddidnt read Agatha Christiewouldnt date a knockout named Agatha   Agatha did not appeal to him

                                                                                    Moby  phenomenological glockenspiel we are played malleted malleable “by an unseen hand” he repeated Sam Harris Neuroscientist Jimmy Olsen Superman  Harris earned a degree in Neuroscience  didnt practise

                                                           calling Horseshit

“From the perspective of your conscious mind, you are no more responsible for the next thing you think (and therefore do) than you are for the fact that you were born into this world.”  The Moral Landscape  pg104

Michael “Gazzaniga is surely correct to say ‘in neuroscientific terms, no person is more or less responsible than any other for actions.’ Conscious actions arise on the basis of neural events which we are not conscious. (wouldnt date a knockout named Agatha) Whether they are predictable or not, we do not cause our causes.” Ibid, pg217

                                                                                                   . . . we do not cause our causes   Horseshit 

                     Talkbout gettin off scot-free

  phenomenology  study of consciousness and the objects of direct experience 

a philosophical movement founded by German Edmund Husserl

Husserl elaborated critiques of historicism and of psychologism in logic based on analyses of intentionality 

historicism social and kulturell phenomena are determined by history also the tendency to regard historical development as the most basic aspect of human existence

psychologism tendency to interpret events or arguments in subjective terms to exaggerate the relevance of psychological factors Husserl claimed psychologism fails to do justice to the idea that truths are eternal

intentionality the fact of being deliberate or purposive

                                                          wouldnt date a knockout named Agatha

his cause

 

. . . we do not cause our causes

nothing personal Agathas             

Suntime hur  5:11:23,  Saturday,  23  4. 22

1306,  Twosday,  26  4. 22

https://salvomag.typepad.com/blog/2012/01/relativism-in-action.html

R E A L I T Y 

                     the word burgeonedbadgeredbludgeoned his dreams it wasnt spoken  spelled like playing cards turned over one at a time beginning a second time after the r and e were flipped he slapped the remaining cards roughly out of the dealers hand Quit fuckin with me five fell landing faceup i y a t l

                                                                         if it was a game it was his construct it unfolded in his head r e a l i t y 

as he evaporateddistilled towards consciousness hypnopompic fingers plucked him an bit by bit he knifed and cut the word in two real ity  real could stand alone on its two hindlegs ity needed an itsybitsybit of help had the reals l repeatedregurgitated creating lity doubled its t litty slungslang  litty is something exceptional intense fun  litty dope turnt poppin  intoxication

                            real-litty trembled  it saw whawas coming   another volley before he awoke opened his eyes

he resisted that he liked to look at what scribblingsgraffiti may have been thrownsprayedsplayed on the back of his eyelids litty morphed to laity real-laity laitys first definition distinct from clergy  laypeople  second  ordinarypeople  distinct from professionals or experts the protomolecules of mankinde culture society coacervate chimes cant help himself aqueous phase rich in macromolecules proteins nucleic acids formed through liquid-liquid phase separation LLPS Were not in Kansas anymore Dorothy leading to a dense phase in thermodynamic equilibrium protoToto macroToto  definitely not Kansas 

                       much lidscribbling biologist perhaps coacervates cluster that eyematter that sometimes crusted his eyeshad to wipe out of their corners to see clearly ocu-cluster of molecular aggregates in colloidal form bound by membrane mensbrain grows by absorbing molecules from the environment or soup ocu-soup an divides by budding

                                                                                                            maybe lidscribbler had a Joyceanhand

                                      he opened his eyes no crust or crumbles and on the ceiling not obscuring the fan he saw in hardblack letters R E A L L A I T Y 

                                            R E A L L I T T Y didnt make the cut both were viable candidates if he had his druthers they were vacationing he would have sided with R E A L L I T T Y real-intoxicated reelintoxic on his heels

leftie bounded up on the bed

Whas up girl Time to get the show on the road

bomber followed shy leaping up a moment later october leapt onto the window sill

                                                                                      kitkats or coacervates they were hungry  it was TIME to get the show on the road

before getting out of bed he looked up on the ceiling again faded faint REALLAITY  

it was gone when he returned to make the bed

0830,  Thursday,  21  4. 22

1242,  Anielas birthday – Monday,  25  4. 22

he didntNO didnt need to be prompted

                                        last thing he wanted from his eversoclever computer  reminding him of his daughters birthday

                      IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING  OR TO BE REVEALED

they shared the same birth month

                                    he remembered fortythree years ago thinking their baby might be born nearer his birthday two Aries vs. his wifestheir mothers Piscesness  teach her to eat a little humble pie   baby went long    Taurus

she was a gorgeous baby illuminated  infact she was as beautiful as their second daughter at birth was not  their little Gemini looked exactly like he did at birth  and as he aged became handsome so she grew beautiful too  the darker beauty of her sister

   tomorrow

              tomorrow is Anielas birthday     he liked to stay up and send her a text message at exactly 3:25 AM  when she was born  it tickled her pink   it tickled him

he stays awake now until the time she was born to tell herwish her happy birthday to tell her how very grateful he was she was in his lifeshe was their daughter they were her parents

                                                                    his lifetheir lives would have been less if not for her

     he didnt need a prompt from a machine

1200,  Sunday,  24  4. 22

 

   GOT GARGLE?

Moby fledhotfooted it not his cup of tea

                                          he hadnt seen someone run off like that in awhilemaybe since he was a kid on the lunch school playground the bully went after a kid who was a friend kid was fastwasnt courageous  bully wasnt courageous either

he gathered some friends seems to remember they were five they knocked the hell out of the bully after school

                                                                                                                     leaving him in the dirtfetal position standing over him You know us  This is just between us Try an hurt anyone beyond this anwell beat you again

the other guys were worried hed go to his parents or to the school

                                                                     Naw Its settled It was between him an us We aint saying  He wont say either

they didnt he didnt

Moby  Come back   Im kiddin I just love watching the expression come over your face ya freakin homophobe

from a distance

                 I am not!

For someone who pleads hes not ya certainly get squirrelly when boy on boy conversation rears its wideopened mouth deepthroating head

That’s distasteful!

Ya don mind when we talk girl on gir . .

. . That’s different! 

                    he was sauntering back

Not different

It is.

Is not

Is.

Got gargle

  Jesus

         The way you thinkthe shit that comes out of your mouth.

It was funny

You thought so.

  You did too  Before you scurried off like a bipedaling simianoccasional knuckles after the scent of mashed bananas

Admit It was funny

Maybe . . it was.

Fuck you Was

Moby had been carrying on how he couldnt imagine a guy making a play on him an ofcourse his manhood would be besmirched if man found him attractive hit on him  he swang hard right  pugilistic Offended

Yer an idiot Ya acknowledge the complimentThank you Im not interested though  Shouldnt be offended It was meant as a compliment

Yeah? A compliment?  You imagine what's running through their mind?

No You

   I can imagine.

You were sucking his fat cock

JesusChrist!

A threesome

Aw man . . you’re disgusting.

Fat cocks an Christ Period piece Sounds like the makings for a hot porn togas olive oil sandals braidedleather bonds not purely homosexualnot necessarily sadomasochistic spiced up salt an peppered toss in a couple delectable creatures from the other team

                    Im in

      crickets

Yare no fun

             Ya fail to recognise that aside from a consensual zesty homosexual encounter that some young men may have been plied willingly or not with alcohol drugs curiosity   or money

                                                                            Say Sean Conn . .

. . Leave Sean out of this.

Sean Connery  rocked it for years  He was an appealing male . .

. . James Bond.

Among other roles

                   He was comely masculine  Ya wouldntve blow him for a thousand dollarsI would have

his face pinched sucked a lemon

I would  though first would have asked 

                                          GOT GARGLE  or a good Scotch

Suntime,  Saturday,  23  4. 22

354preferred,  Sunday,  24  4. 22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIL1DDXcu8U

Rachelle Ferrell  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7zRnuN6_Pw

Hey Bil ly the door sighedsqueaked closing behind him

                                                       he tippedhalfturned his head gave the voice an ear hairs on his back of his neck rose

taking a leak he thought about Hey Bil ly if he truly heard right his senses were playful not beyond enabling hinting something that in fact was not presence  he tried to convince himself it was only a noise sound  not Hey Bil Ly   someones name

he flushed the urinal tucked his tshirtbuttoned his jeans up over it cinched his belt soaped washed his hands took a haphazardgander in the mirror he didnt look disturbedwasnt letting it get up on him then he turned took two brown paper towels from the dispenser and dried his hands 

                                                        since Trump virus he kept the towels in hand to pull on the metal handle and open the doorheld it with his foot as he tossed them into the trash

stepping into the abbreviated hallway at the back of the store Womens room left Produce right he listen to the door as it closed behind him

                       nothing nothing    nothing  Hey Bil ly 

Billy

the market wasnt old

old buildings have their ghosts like churches and cathedrals police cells and prisons motels and hotels

                                                                                                              he was familiar with them  found them at the foot of his bed or leaning over him  hovering over him  found them outdoors  that was rare   but he met them there too

Who was Billy

he approached the store manager Lance who manned the Customer Service kiosk up front since going therebetter than fifteen years ago Lance had managed it

they exchanged pleasantries

                               Lance seemed relieved he didnt have a receipt in hand to get an item free and be reimbursed the money he spent on it

This may seem odd but do you recall any Billys who worked for you to the best of your memory

Billy who?

Billy just Billy   Yaknow like Hey Bil ly  he tried to get the cadence  tone   right

Hey Billy?  You just whisper?what . are you talking about?

I was in the bathroom was there ever an incident in the bathroom where a Billy was hurt or foundmebbe in the stall  drugs

Whenabout?

I have no idea

I’ve had police remove individuals . homeless people . over the years but names . . no . names would be inconsequential to me.

       They were only . . . a problem.

Why?

  Why  Always a good question

Somebody blackpen graffiti in there again?

No  no not that Just a perception  a sudden whiteness creased himcrossed his brain out through his eyes

                                                                                                                    Ever a kid taken in the store  Kidnapped

Hell no!not on my watch.

Sorry Im sorry I didnt mean anything by that

Not on my watch. Lance repeated  then seemingly as if mesmerised

                                                                         Not my watch. 

Your watch

Not mine. Happened while I worked here, not management, green grocer, meat department, swept floors . . . a kid, don’t remember her name, mother freaked, had the store locked up, found her in bathroom dressed up like a little boy . . the woman chopped off her hair, it laid scattered across the stall floor.

                                                                      It was queer, so fucking queer people were so disturbed, police removed her, the assailant, they had to protect her from the people in the store.

                                                                                                     Was really ugly . . terrifying.        Terrifying.  I wasn’t twenty freaked me out . . what the hell was with people?

Lance wasnt talking to him

    Why did you ask?

I heard a voice in the bathroom

You heard a voice?

  Yes

      Frankly I prefer seeing  Hearing is more distressful

You heard a voice? his eyes had bugged a bit

I heard a voice

                        Yahwhell thank you Lance  for putting up with me I apologise if I riled up an uncomfortable memory  I had to ask it wasnt a choice

You’re creeping me out.

Creeping Good word for it 

                              Might thank your lucky stars ya havent my perceptions huh  Those I have an don have A precious little game we playLater  Lance

Lance watched him leave the store

                                    creeped he saw the storefrontthat storefront  before the remodel

approximately 1300,  Saturday,  23  4. 22

1106,  Sunday,  24  4. 22