Calculus is complex

Tacos arent

Unless

Were

Not

       talkinbout corn or flour tacos

I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about.

Please

Don’t please me. I know you’re not talking about what you’re talking about. There’s always an aside I’m late to or when you elaborate it’s too elaborate for me to followWhy do you do that to me?

Like shooting fish in a barrel Im afraid

                                         I expect you to be more agile than you aremore attune  keen  Its not like you havent conversed with me before and don appreciate the vaultingthe stream of consciousness that presents

I typically return to where I jumped off Yah 

Yes. You do.

              Are you going to let me play?

I am

      Taco

Taco? 

Yah

You said corn or flour taco.

I said  Tacos arent complex unless were NOT not   talkinbout refined grain tacos

I . . . don’t follow.

Yare killing me

                 Wha three things people warn you off of talkinbout when you meet someone for the first time

That I know.

An

They’re sex, religion, and politics.

Ohmy

Oh my?

Yah Lions and tigers and bears Ohmy

Oh, I get it, sex and religion and politics, Oh my!

Like beating a dead horse

What do you mean?

Bringing you back to the beginning of the beaten path

                                                          Tacos  Complex   Complicated

Well, what the hell was veering off path, sex and such, about?

Not grain tacos Sex

                        My usual gambit

Your usual gambit?

Yare killing me

                   One more time  If Gawd didnt mean us to eat pussy whydHemakeitlooksomuchlikeataco

either his blink was on slo-mo or he shut his eyes momentarily opened them again

                                                                                        Oh . . yeah

he was guessing slo-mo blink to match his slo-mo mind

after 4PM,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

1131,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  9  3. 22

The Cryan’ Shames  It Could Be We’re in Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFJF5VFxY-M

just finished a hike

4.5 miles up and back  

summit is 2624 feet

1600 foot elevation gain

buddy was using the head

they were going for coffee

he walked over to an informational board just off the parking lot to read postings

Mountain lion

he knew that

hiked it before

if confronted  Thrown rocks and objects Pick up children and small pets   pets always second billing

his buddy came across the parking lot kicking stones out of the dirt

Say You read this  Mountain lions

You know there’s mountain lions in these parts.

I do I was reading the warning should you encounter one 

                                                              It says throw rocks objects small children and pets

Makes sense.

fuckin guy never listens

 

What it say?

Throw rocks objects small children and pets

At the lion?

Yes

It does not.

No

    It doesnt

Why would you say that?

Its funny

          Its like if we encounter a bear while were hiking  I can outrun you

That’s not funny either.

Not for you

1500,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

1228,  Twosday,  8  3. 22

Nina Simone  Do I Move You?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31bD7QCiV1Q

. . . the Maltese Falcon is a MacGuffin, as were the letters of transit in Casablanca. In themselves they are insignificant, irrelevant, nothing more than an object or devise, event, to motivate characters or forward the plot.

Humphrey Bogarts in both

Yes.

Asya said MacGuffin my brain tippled bugged me  mulligan a second chance after a bad golf stroke Annow  a gimme

Damn  golfs a corrupt sport shouldnt wonder why businessmen play it  I wouldnt do business with a guy who couldnt roll a near-200 bowling game

Seems your brain's keen on not allowing you much peace.

May not allow me peace however on the other hand it allows me pieceya follow my drift

Drift followed.

               My name’s Harold.  he extended his hand

accepted it firm handshake  Names Joe

                                           Thats a sweet wheelchair  Imagine it costs a bundle

Wouldn’t know don’t care. Muthafucker that put me in it, copiously insured, for a reason one might imagine, a failed lawsuit, fits the bill. I intend to get a state-of-the-art chair year-by-year until I’m dead.

Yad think the insurance company would be better off whacking ya

I think so.

I won a lifetime workmans comp Ive thought so too

They should have whacked us before we went to court.

Probably not staffed by enough golfers

he sniffedlaughed

                   No possibly not.

300preferred,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

326preferred,  Twosday,  8  3. 22

Peter, Paul and Mary  If I had a Hammer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMOB2K78iM 

Lent began last week WednesdayAsh Wednesday Whacha giving up

I’m not Catholic.

Imagine wha ya would if you were

Imagine what I would . . WOW . havent ever been asked.

Don have to be Catholic to know the tale Christ wandered the desert vision quest fasted forty days tempted by Satan before beginning his ministry so wrote Matthew Mark an Luke likely though youd have to be Catholic to know them

I do know the bit . . from somewhere . read it somewhere. Huh. What would I give up?

Some people give up ice cream

Ice cream?

Ive heard said

What would I give up?

                          You give up anything?

A recovering Catholic nah

Like an alcoholic, druggie?

Wasnt that severe

  Ah.

         What would I give up? looked like it was causing him a headache

Tell ya wha ya don have to say now can say I planted a seed Ill see ya later this week yacoud say then

No no. I've got this.

                     he rubbed his foreheadhard up an down above his nose with his thumb I got this.

BAM Got it!

he was all ears

I can’t say what it is . right now . . but I’d give up something I don’t do or enjoy and then act selfrighteous about it.

Fuckin genius

340preferred,  Thursday,  20  1. 22

1144,  Twosday,  8  3. 22

You know, head on you’re very handsome. 

                                                she pursed her lips  thoughtfully

Thank you

I wonder.

            pursed her lips again

Something I could help you with

                                    he had nothing in mind she hadnt taken her eyes off his face she pursed again asif trying to pry loose something maybe she thought her pensiveness was working him making him uncomfortable maybe she thought she was making him selfconscious he wasnt he was selfassured selfconfident she should say what to that hed tell her he was unshakeable even braining him a pry bar wouldnt shake him

I wonder . . I wonder.  like a myna bird

hed let her wonder

she got down off the bar stool walked up to him put her hands on his shoulders kissed him softly then stepped back

I was curious.

Verdict

Still wondering, still curious.  I know

                                         she walked around to his right stopped took in his profile and stepped back

he hadnt turned his head to follow

Jesus.

I look nothing like His depictions asif anyone actually knows

Jesus.

had to admit she piqued him

                                Jesus

Yes. From the side you look like a degenerate.

Yare familiar with degenerates

All men are degener . .

. . Wrong   All men are pigs To varying degrees

I’m only saying that from here . .

. . I look degenerate

I’m being kind.  Very degenerate.

First time anyones said

                          Usually Im jimdandy  no Jesus

Perhaps whoever they were didn’t look hard enough.

Perhaps

I wonder.

Yes

I should take a look at your left.

                                  he would have bet she went around behind him would have lost she crossed in front of him smelled good  warm cinnamon bread sugar

Hmmm. Not as degenerate.  A kind degenerate.

Kind degenerate  Whakind

I think you would know better than me.

Doll, I havent a fucking cluehavent sat for anyone before

                                                             Feels like Im modeling 

You must.

Must I

Yes you must.

I like your assuredness Why must I

They’re your profiles.

Which I dont see

You could use a hand mirror, look at your reflection off a bathroom mirror.

No hand mirror Only look into the mirror above the sink when I shave so I don cut my throat

Too bad. If you did you could see what I’m talking about.

Sided by degenerates

Your left’s kind.

Buy you another drink

Why?

Ya know the difference between an ugly woman and a knockout

I think so . . but why don’t you tell me?

Three stiff drinks

                      Might aid my degeneracy

2159,  Monday,  7  3. 22

1003,  Twosday,  8  3. 22

they walked in the old part of town many of the buildings are required to have signs affixed near entryways THIS BUILDING IS AN UNREINFORCED MASONRY STRUCTURE  possibly murderers accomplices of palm trees insurance companies demanded were cut down because their fronds damaged cars that parked under them and might possibly injury or kill someone

                        he argued at City Council meetings not to allow vehicles to park beneath them or post signage that advises drivers if their vehicles are speared by falling fronds it is a risk they assume

                                                                                               in the Councils infinite wisdumb they voted unanimously to have the palms cut downcut down hunredyear old trees that buildings were designed around  ASSHOLES

they entered one such building to have coffee it was brisk outside

                                                                       Hey Trotsky . .

. . Would you quit thats not his name

I know, but I use it as a trigger to help me remember his name, he doesn’t mind.

Really

Yes; called the Von Restorff Effect.

Von Restorff Yacant remember his name is Tyler but you can remember the name of a mnemonic technique

Yeah, I remember it by thinking German Restore.

However Trotsky two syllables yare unable to recall Tyler

                                                               Also two syllables

Don’t know what to tell you.

Ya might concede yare an idiot

Tyler was animatedalways is  he was roasting beans he thought perhaps it was a contact high  he caffeinated without ingesting it

             sounded plausible

                                  enthusiastically he also chimed he was considering running for mayor he and a buddy were discussing splitting mayoral responsibilities be co-mayors 

So Tyler he said A day mayor an a night mayor  Id assume youd be the nightmare

Tyler looked at him pushed his glasses down on his nose Nightmare?

Sure doncha think Yare outlandish usually thinking outside of the box those are reasons why we enjoy having our coffee here We want to support you

                                      Id be happy to helpvolunteer if you decide to run

Wow! I’d have a campaign sta . .

. . Volunteers . .

. . Aww come on! We could put together an outrageous campaign . .

. . An still not win

But we’d present, arguably, thoughtful alternative solutions to the city’s problems.

                                                                                       Tyler then turned to his buddy  And Dude, you’ll have to quit calling me Trotsky.

 

0005,  Saturday,  29  1. 22

409preferred,  Monday,  7  3. 22

A donut does it

Huh?

The kids over there

                     two little girls were sitting together the eldest had taken two donuts from a white paper bag gave her sister one and they were eating them while their parents had gone inside the coffee shop

he had been the only person on the large wood deck sitting at its edge sun on his back waiting for his buddy who had gone inside for coffees he had pen and paper and was writing that he wasnt high yet off new edibles they triedhad taken two hours earlier although between times they had hiked perhaps the exertion detained or sublimated his high

which was a first

his buddy looked over at the girls

                                    I’m not following.

You remember when your boys were little that one donut was plenty for them to enjoy with their glass or carton of milk

No.

No

We didn’t often have donuts.

Thats a fuckin crimewha kinda parents were youI mean look at ya now ya bought cookies to have with your coffee

We just didn’t eat donuts that often.

Gypped your boys Id say once every couple of weeks Id surprise the girlswake them early for school so we could roll over to the bakery after breakfast and I could treat them to a donut and milk

They thought it was the shit

Then a donut did it

                     Id have coffee a couple donuts wed talk about the day school work their Moms trip where she was that morning friends They didnt seem to have a favourite donut always changed it up time after time

                                                                                                            Thinking about it

maybe they set me up when they were older Sunday mornings football season Id buy a dozen and a half a bakers dozen mind you for the three or four of us since they didnt have favourites a moving target wed eat donuts throughout the day That was different than when a donut did it

Unadulterated innocence 

But maybe that comes with having girls as to having boys

I miss those days

I don’t know what to tell you.

Not asking you to say anything

                                  Was just sharing beautiful memories courtesy of those two little girls

1455,  Sunday,  6  3. 22

High Noon,  Monday,  7  3. 22

Lesley Gore  Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atY7ymXAcRQ

The Cryan’ Shames  Sugar and Spice  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe7RlzkVS3U

       

I gotta get a new phone

                        flew out of him like he were a madlyshaken bottle of sodasticky ejaculate foam going everywhere

I jumped backleapt away  he still got my shoes

                                                    New phone Didnt ya get a new phone halfyear ago

I did . .

. . Something wrong with it . .

. . No.

No

No.

Arent ya a little embarrassed ya GOTTA  gotta get a new phone

No.

he shrugged playing the embarrassment card didnt work he was loathed to reason or argue hell do wha he wants no matter

       Then Ill ask the stupid question not that Im really interested  its kinda like counting twentythree follows twentytwo  Why

he stepped nearer I stepped back he stepped nearer  I don dance

                                                                        nearly whispering Because what I heard.

Heard From a credible source   Your credulity is often manipulated

What I heard makes sense.

Lotta things make sense to you that blow me away

No. This makes sense.

he was beginning to creep him out with his  confidential voice 

                                                                 he thought I don wanna be taken into confidence  particularly by someone I have little to no confidence in  Wha make senses An maybe if you say it out loud not like it were a secret youd hear it might not make sense

OH . . it makes sense alright.

Alrightee Give it to me

With the phone . . complimentary porn's on it.

theres some marketing for ya

I wouldn’t pay for it . . but if it’s on the phone, free, complimentary, I’ll take it. 

Kinda like an e-gloryhole  Knock yourself out man

0954,  Sunday,  30  1. 22

1813,  Sunday,  6  3. 22

. . . after all our efforts, our anger our heartache, we realize we’re powerless against someone’s denial.

he paused

          he could have kept talking rolled over her declaration but he recognised it ought to not should hang in the staticky air of their telephone call

                                    he hoped someone was listening in on the party line

Yes Being powerless offends us you and me particularly when all we want to do is help

Some people don’t want help.

Terrible to say we should respect them  Reminds me of Norman Macleans quote from A River Runs Through It

“At sunrise everything is luminous but not clear. It is those we live with and love and should know who elude us. You can love completely without complete understanding.”

That love comes at a high price to ourselves, if we let it.

he took the handset from his ear and looked down into it he mouthed if we let it  he brought up to his ear again

If we let it

Yes.  Also a terrible thing to say.

Not really A good observation

                                 Ill never let it again I don want drauma

maybe she took the handset down from her ear

Is that why you prefer being alone . avoid people . . . are withdrawn?

Im talking to you 

                   I am loquacious   I like licorice

You’re funny. 

she didnt mean funny

I like myself I can tolerate me

                                   I can live with me

And when you can’t?

You cant tolerate you

Sometimes.

I exhaust myself and go to sleep That way somebody doesnt get hurt

All these many years later, still that violent bent?

Yah  Never straightened it out

You’re a piece of work.

I am

You are.  I have to get going. We always have interesting conversations.

Probably why we still talk

she laughed hard into the telephone

                                       Probably. Catch you later, bye.

Buhbye   

1342,  ReggaeFriday,  4  3. 22

1107,  Sunday,  6  3. 22

Mary J Blige  No More Drama  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I62P5xJMJgc

“All good things come by grace and grace comes by art and art does not come easy.”

Naaw

      his heart trembled in his chest a crew was taking down another of his favourite ancient oaks in the neighbourhood whenever he approached them hed quit his walkread and stop to admire  acknowledge them

a lone chainsaw he didnt see where was whining 

a helmeted Hispanic man yellow vest at the rear of the mechanised ensemble heldup a gloved hand to stop him as he approached

             the man worked his way behind around a huge truck and chopper went a bit uphill avoiding the space hed have to enter and cross to get down to the foot of the road

his English was broken There many bees, manymany bees, you go back, go other way.

Im comfortable with bees

They sting workers, they angry.

Angry with you and your workers for disturbing their habitat  cutting down the tree

They sting many, they sting you.

They wont sting me Ive not offended them

I not responsible you sting.

No yare not I appreciate your concern though not what yare doing

                                                                      he walked between the orange warning cones and to the right of a huge hollowed limb  broken comb honey smeared the gravelly rotting road bees swirled a hydraheaded cyclone they flew into his hair landed on his clothing Hey gang its me I am terribly sorry

                                                                                               a longish password 

he came out of the space then beyond the truck and chopper a lot of strap-on gear crushed tall grass  chainsaws different sizes

                Sting many workers he mused

Yahwell they fucking deserve it taking my tree 

he had mistook the buzzing always thought it was a breeze working through its overhead branches

1415,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  1. 22

345preferred,  Saturday,  5  3. 22

Jewel Akens  The Birds and the Birds  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8fLheex1nA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZA3AuoFTIwg

                                                       Well well well appears Russia has put all its eggs in one basket like a Matryoshka  a Russian nesting doll

Wouldnt it be something else if proverbial turnabout is fair play were deployed a massive cyberattack against Russian broadcasting that disables it

                                Shucks No Propaganda for Tbl (you) 

1709,  Saturday,  5  3. 22

Soup Nazi  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jSTiKHOFEI

suddenly it occurred to him

 a former rite of passage

                             Whas that? murmured a newbie selfhe was crowded with selves   It’s a ceremony event marking an important stage in someones life   Ah, I see. 

seemed to himHorseshit yes  didnt seemhe believed  kids today dont have to prove their wortharent properly vetted to assume the mantle of becoming an adult                                                                                                                              be that as it may Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy published a poll this year that revealed 54% of American adults 16 debatable to 74 cannot read at a 6th Grade level in 6th grade he read at a high school level

                       Whas an adult anymore

maybe the trouble with his concept of rites of passagewhich he believed were necessary  was that they were now a bridge too far a hill too far   too drastic

                                            a rite for example buying a rubber  once they were held behind the counter had to ask the pharmacist for help  for example  going into the abandoned haunted house in the neighbourhood at night alone  for example  actually risk not being promotedFlunked at school  for example  the one that just occurred to him virtually impossible today  write a bad check  he had threefour days to deposit money to cover himself before it was actually a bad check

                       he also remembered as a young man in charge of Accounts for a small business hed lock up and beat ass to the bank when people he didnt trust gave him a sizable check sometimes it was bad and he immediately made their account shit with overdraft fees  but sometimes it was good and he felt confident he screwed the next merchant

   rite of passage

                    wasnt like a Maasai boy of yore who had to kill a lion to become a man

itd be nice if there was just a little something to distinguish an adult  some test an affirmation 

                                                                                                    becoming 18 boy or girl

just didnt cut it

1716,  ReggaeFriday,  4  3. 22

1234,  Saturday,  5  3. 22

https://map.barbarabush.org/#:~:text=130%20million%20Americans%E2%80%9454%25%20of,poverty%2C%20and%20low%20economic%20mobility.

she deflected his last twothree sexual advances

her expression was pained 

                          I’m sorry please . I’m . not . . . there.

he understood when a woman says no she means no

                                                         Yare okay love Ive always told you to be honest with me Thank you for saying so not submitting   I want to make love with you

she didnt question him

she knew he didnt say anything he didnt mean

reaching out she gently touched his arm

                                             I am sorry.   she was genuine he loved that about her

he took her in his arms hugged herburied his nose in her neck and inhaled he loved her warm smell   fresh bread 

they stood silently hugged each other

no words necessary

after a bit they broke their embrace

                                       I better get along love

You know what this means? she smiled wicked

Means he returned her smile   Wha does this mean

It means when I’m in the right place, I'm eating you alive.

HA he laughed  Excellent   Steak tartare

                                            he took her chin between his thumb and finger kissed her warmly

                                                                                                                   I look forward to being chum

 

 

it was late

            I better get going love

Oh.  I . ah . I thought perhaps . . . you’d like to spend the night.

didnt have to ask him twice

they undressed each other

took a hot shower

                   Dammit how do you take that water

It feels soo good.

he watched the water stream down her body she washed her hair sudrunlets ran off her head down her face throat shoulders curled slickly round her breasts embraced her belly foamcurrents between her legs down her spine lacey at her dimples of Venus slipping her cheeks the back of her thighs calves shimmered Goldfingerish in the flickering candlelight through the glass doors 

from behind he held her breasts smelled her kissed her neck tenderly

                                                                        whispered Youll be a little longerYes  pinched her ass

Yare hmm not  quite   cooked

she chuckled closed her eyes  Not quite.

Okay I cant take it  Im heading out

Just a bit longer, love.

Don know how you don scald yourself

Never. This is glorious.

In a bit longer

                he got out toweled dry took her towel to the dryer tossed it in heated it for her when she was ready

poured her a chilled white

opened a bottle of beer 

 

Oh she said when he handed her the towel  Hmm, this is wonderful.

I poured you some wine its on the sink Ill give you some room   Ill be in bed

There directly.

he turned to leave

Wait.

turning back Yes

she embraced him

                    You’re so kind to me, so generous . .

. . Shaddup  Kiss me

a deep lusty kiss

                      when they broke off he was poking her in the belly There's so much more from where that came.

Tartare

she laugheddidnt cover her mouth  her gale stirred the remnantswirls of steam

 

she took him in her mouth 

                              somewhere    out there        in the ether  in her eyes closing his eyes on the back of his eyelids  he turned into an illustrated ram     his heavy curled horns unraveling gathering unravelinggathering unraveling like a kids toy   music  strangesounding    moansic  Aawed AAHing  his horns flickering complete with coloured feathers stuck to their ends 

                                      he went orgasmblind

1424,  Monday,  31  1. 22

404preferred,  ReggaeFriday,  4  3. 22