whas life

to each his own

his was a fluid origami foldingunfolding lived to dreams an dreamed to life   

when he discussed Life capital L he did not distinguish between them

                                                                       his experiences were codifiedwere simply MEMORY long rich deep memories  it didnt matter to him if circumstances he faced were blacknblue redblooded live daydream dream hypnagogic or hypnopompic  he kept them in the same stone well  dipped into it greedily sipped savoured

the other eveningmorning he read the words over and over reading them he eventually heard them recited by an unknown voice then in his  then other voices women menhe wasnt able to distinguish them either despite listening intensely usually he dreamed of strangers

“You were so busy watching where you were going you didn’t see where you were.”  declarative   accusative

perhaps   . . where you had been.

it seemedbecause it was looped he must have read itheard it at least onehunred times as he slept “busy watching” was the Present the act of lookingmoving forward not prescient however disregarding what retreated in the rearview mirror he was taught to drive in high school by a strict teacher learned in hectic Chicago traffic who was obsessed with where his students eyes were  Mirrors, dammit, you have three! Check them every five seconds!

                                                                                        he remembered on two occasions the instructor had the driver stop the car and get out  You can walk back to school. Find another teacher, we’re through.

    mirrors

                they are there for a reason

lessons learned

0757,  Sunday,  21  11. 21

241,  Monday,  22  11. 21

Nucleus  Alleycat  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0S2nF-IJno

 

he nearly spitinterrupting their conversation Mack wanted to know what happened to the woman he was recently dating Mack forgot her name  he wasnt going to remind him

                                                                 Im not seeing her Im not fond of clingy women

Clingy? She was dropdead gorgeous.

No matter clingys a dealbreaker

What’s clingy?

You an assholeya know wha it is

                                   he paddled the air with the back of his hand Go off woudya baby I need some room to breathe                    

I like a woman’s attention; I would have liked hers.

he snorted

            Lemme put it this way If a womans beautiful intelligent she gives wonderful blow jobs but clingy   Adios

his face flushed What are you talking about?

                                              Those attributes but clingy, you kicked her to the curb?          

Adios Thas the size of it

You’re nuts. If she was the three, I wouldn’t mind clingy.

Noya wouldnt  Not really

Mack was enthused

                      Really.

Yaknow wha I can write a single word that would change your mind so youd understand me

A word?

One word

You’re on.

            I don’t think you can dissuade me.

he took a napkin from the dispenser on the lunch counter Look off to the side a moment woudya

he could have saved his breath  their waitress a young goodlooking woman had returnedwas behind the counter again  far end

he wrote gave Mack a chuck to the shoulder with the back of his hand  Thats it

reluctantly Mack slowly swiveled his stool left

                                               the waitress had leaned forwardput her elbow to the counter to read somethingtop of her garment gaped open handsome cleavage What? he looked down at the napkin

You remember what happens to the male

AwJesus.

Good  Yaremember

                     The male anglerfish has to find a female fast shes enormous  several males can can attach  Slowly   whahappens

Slowly his body is absorb by the female and he is reduced to and functions as nothing more than a gonad.

Right  Dealbreaker

1447,  Saturday,  20  11. 21

1012,  Monday,  22  11. 21

https://www.wired.com/2013/11/absurd-creature-of-the-week-anglerfish/

 

the catbox trembled litter shivered

he touched it

             it was tremblingit wasnt a trick of his eyes

it grew more impatientmore violent

                                      Whas going on   it wasnt weird for him to talk to inanimate objects though an inanimate animating not in his usual fare

                                           Whas up

he wasnt expecting it to talk back

We do this every morning

                           Whaya peeved about I keep you damn clean Same damn litter for years Wha bugs up your ass

its violence upticked

he grabbed either side

                        he changed it up on top the washing machine in the laundry room there was a second box there hed already cleaned it it was to his right right of the dryer this box he maintained under the water heater mounted on a fourlegged metal platform and deep tray in case the it leaked

                                                                 he didnt whiteknuckle it but he could feel the violence coursing through it

Yawanna trade places out from under the water heater over by the dryer

                                                                             the trembling persisted

Yawanna be in the bathroom by yourself the third catbox was there

                                                                         it bucked scattered litter on the toe of his boots  the trembling hadnt begun until he cleaned itfreshened it with more litter

Awright awright Im stepping away stepping back

he did

it pitched forward and flopped onto the linoleum facedown

                                                               he gave the dive a 10 perfect execution  it was a catbox

litter scattered forward hit the baseboard itd be an easy cleanup

it quit its violence 

laid still like a dead snake

he picked it up

its guts were emptied on the floor

he placed it back on top the washer

it remained still

he swept up the litter with a broom and dustpan refilled the catbox 

no violence it accepted the same litter   obviously the litter wasnt the animating force

You cool 

he still wasnt expecting an answer

he returned it to its place under the water heater

it complied

           seemed complacent

he back out of the laundry room

everything was chill

coming up the hallway he heard the coffee machine belching its last  he began a fresh pot before going to clean the catboxes

hed have Irish with his coffee this morning

entering the kitchen he saw all the cabinet doors were open

ROOMMATES  YA FUCKIN WITH ME

                                      he hadnt seen or heard hide nor hair of them in months he thought they blew this pop stand

Should I say welcome home

three cabinet doors shut at once he had three roommates

Welcome home gang

                      We could have done without cleanup in Aisle 13

he heard something highpitched 

it wasnt the wind

appeared the band was getting back together again

0938,  Sunday,  21  11. 21

1244,  Sunday,  21  11. 21

Classic IV  Spooky  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqtqKURtTxM his ghosts were two women and one man

 

he didnt like itNO  no   not one bit

                                    if he was going to die he wanted to hear the roar of the engine gunnedescaping its tires shriekingsquealing rubber burningDIE die under the smell of black acridsmoke tinged with the scent of his hot red saltedblood

           his thickening blood turning dead leaves pushing loosegravel made more noise

                                                                                            MADE more noise than the stealthy electric car whiisperingwhiizzing away

he was blownup by a cowarddriven drone

he did hear something just before being rundown

                                                  breaths sucked in

afterwards he heard

                    It’s his fault, walking and reading like that.

another voice

             If you gave me your damn phone this wouldn't have happened; DRIVE.

he despised technology

                       seemed it was going to be his death   he was miserable  cheated   he was in the last chapter  he wasnt going to know how it ended

 

 

he heard himself say weakly

                              Whaas thasound  

the sound was a heavy shadow walking on fibrous shadows cast by the trees overhead  not that hed know then he couldnt hear his ears sayonarahe couldnt feel pain sayonara  he felt something dark lean over himhis eyes sayonara

he was mute                

                   Ah he thought   he wondered  Was I mute just before I was born

                                                                                             ------------------------------------------

1230,  ReggaeFriday,  12  11. 21

1408,  Saturday,  20  11. 21

 

freshawake relaxed living alone emptying his tankscratching his head he farted Aw ferChristssake he hadnt even cleared his throat yet sounded like Donald Duck was irate snuck up behind him https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoLdlmr-v2w but sometimes like Popeye yuckyuckyucking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBdqk5uhM7g an othertimes Toodys UUU UUU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVk9jR0tYec (from Car 54, Where are you?) but then there were times he couldnt say what he sounded like   otherworldly 

                                                                    a bathroom vocalist

on occasionhumoured by an odd dialect he was tempted to say over his shoulder Speak up say again didnt quite catch that but he figured hed be tempting Fate anrather than sayingblowing gas hed shit himself

                                                                                                discretion is the better part of valour he didnt wanna be cleaning valour off his ass legs an the floor

though no matter it always made for an innaresting beginning to the start of his day

he felt light  buoyantboyant    like a beauty coloured balloon

 

1857,  ReggaeFriday,  19  11. 21

0931,  Saturday,  20  11. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBdqk5uhM7g

 

25 February 1956

                    Nikita Khrushchev the Soviet Unions First secretary denounced Stalin in a secret speech before 20th Congress of the Communist Party it became known as The Personality Cult and its Consequences  might wanna pay mighty keen attention to that title  victims of Stalins Great Purge were posthumously exonerated of their crime really helpful for the executed

19 November 2021

                    Manhattan judge Ellen Biben exonerated Muhammad A. Aziz who died in 2009 and Khalil Islam of their convictions for murdering Malcolm X they maintained their innocence throughout the trial and while imprisoned

the USSR got around to denouncement and exoneration decades before the USA did

1040,  Saturday,  20  11. 21

https://digitalarchive.wilsoncenter.org/document/115995.pdf?v=3c22b71b65bcbbe9fdfadead9419c995

https://www.historytoday.com/archive/stalin-denounced-nikita-khrushchev  https://repository.upenn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=4510&context=edissertations

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/11/17/nyregion/malcolm-x-killing-exonerated.html https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/exonerations-men-convicted-malcolm-xs-1965-death-81249311

he had many mugs threeshelves full in an overhead cupboard

one his girlfriendlater wife gave him an outlandishmoustachioed face it was her mug

                                                                                         You appreciate it more than me. he was genuinely touched

one his daughter gave him a buffalo etched in its clay and facing left

                                                                         I know how you prefer the buffalo faces left she was so freaking observant  he was genuinely touched 

should anyoneafter he was gone aside from his daughters see them or the others each having their own story  they would have no ideano imagination  probably wouldnt give a moments noticetry to imagine what the simple pottery meant to him  he had thoroughly enjoyed them now fifty years  thirty years

pottery doesnt betray it age

                            anif they could speak  as with women  itd be rude to ask their age ask if they had secrets to share

       for they overheard frank conversations while dinners were being prepared mixed drinks made wine decantedhad witnessed frenetic sex begun under the guise of doing dishes together witnessed maulings on the counters before them taken from behind or blatantly fucking on the kitchen table

                                                               it would be rude to ask

so many mugs

              so many coffees teas hot chocolates hot toddies  so many lips pressed to them so many words spoke over them

so much life

Do you mind? she asked

Wha

Do you mind if I ask what you wished for when you blew out the birthday candles on your lemon meringue pie?

Wha I wish for every year

Every year?   It doesn’t change?

Hasnt changed since I first conceived of itmy nineteenth birthday living then on my own nearly a year

Unchanged?

The same every year

Do you mind?

Nah  Im not superstitious

                           I wish that when I die my mugs disintegrate turn to dust blown awayasunder by an idiot wind  After Im dead they wont be appreciated        

0012,  ReggaeFriday,  19  11. 21

1700,  ReggaeFriday,  19  11. 21

Bob Dylan  Idiot Wind  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBLViMLws10 

 

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

Rittenhouse

Wisconsin judge & jury 

He could be doxxed

He could be.

             Would that be right?

Right

          Its richly deserved

Ah yes, do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Matthew 7:12

Oh you little Bible-thumper you

                               yawanna drop that superior look off your face

You’re funny.

Funny  How

I’ll give you a moment, I’ve given you a plenty big hint.

Aaah    HA Thanks for letting me dig out from under

Carry on.

Judge said to the prosecutor “Is there something I’m saying that’s caused the face you’re making?” Prosecutor started to speak but the judge cut him off “Go ahead, say what you were going to say.” The prosecutor said “Your honor, no” you must have caught my bitchy resting face

1211,  ReggaeFriday,  19  11. 21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk

cowardlyKevin speaks

                      https://www.republicanleader.gov/leader-kevin-mccarthy-dismantles-democrats-socialist-spending-scam/

to be fair he set a new record for the longest spiel ever heard in the House

                                                                              prior Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi had made the longest speech  although that might have been the point

spiel  speech  

potato  patato

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOILZ_D3aRg

definitely a spiel

after reading McCarthys rambling text he scratched his head unable not to wonder were Californias Kern County constituents truly that ignorant

1227,  ReggaeFriday,  19  11. 21

 

D K  really

           he told him timeanagain to quit with acronyms   he played stupid D K whas that

You know.

Perhaps if you used it in context I can recall  however you said yawere talking with Annamarie who he thought would be a great name for a nuclear submarine about D K  she know wha yawere talking about

                                                                                        If I were a woman and you shorthanded D K I might think it stood for dick  which I would think inappropriate for someone youve only recently met  Yare not me

he exhaledhis lips beat together most inaudible JesusChrist he didnt hear but see Man, you’re such a pain in the ass. D K. You know damn well.

Remind me I havent been on a date in a whilenot in this climate of Trump virus so I dont know wha might pass for wha would yasay  legitimate conversation Is dick legit his inner devils howled and hounded him Dick Lick it

                                                                                                                     Back off Boys

still exasperated You say something?

No Not to you

                Sos dick legit  they backed off

Dick. Dick. Really?

                    D K. he missed the third Dick to render the typical epizeuxis   

Two Dicks a company three Dicks a smorgasbord 

                                                    I said Back off Boys  Just open your mouth an say woudya

Dunning – Kruger.

Ah why didnt yasay that

You remember?

Yes save your breath cognitive bias people of low ability at a task overestimate their ability while people of higher ability underestimate theirs

                              Your favourite scenario driving a car 

Yareally talked to a date about Dunning – Kruger lemme guess lemme   ya also sketched it on a cocktail napkin x-axis horizontal y vertical  x is experience zero to perhaps expert y assuredness perceived competence

Yes. Precisely.

                What a prick.

Anthenya sketched the curve the vertiginous early peakthe Mountain of Ignorance  the plummet freefall to valley of despair then the gradual uptick fortyfive degree angle if Im not mistaken  of enlightenment  then the satisfying plateau   sustainability

                           That go over well

It did, it did . . it did. Now he gets it  Wha a moron

Boys

     Anyaknow how

She didn’t walk out on me.

Ah  might I assume dick came up during your second drink dinner was ordered coming soon

Not dick.

Dick didnt come up

D K.

Tell me then  if dick didnt come up did ya experience any frisson  asya also like to say

                                                                                                     the Boys howled

before 0709,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  11. 21

1332,  Thursday,  18  11. 21

https://www.quora.com/Is-someone-with-an-IQ-of-130-typically-aware-that-they-have-gifted-intelligence/answer/Susanna-Viljanen?ch=8&oid=141578726&share=403bb778&srid=IcBTA&target_type=answer

 Republicans = Republicants = COWARDS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snDOWwI3Q-c

if underlyinglesser COWARDS don understand that those above them are going to shit down their throats 

                                                                                                            thatll be on them

1802,  Thursday,  18  11. 21

 

Where’s my fone? he turned violently leftright cast his eye Where the fuck’s my fone?

uhoh all hell was going to break loose this man without his fone was like baby without his binky 

                                                                                                    Ya leave it in the car

I didn’t thin . . 

               his voice trailedhe was suddenlyup walking to his car in the parking lot

uhoh forgot his keys on the table he wasnt going to get in the middle of this 

threequarters way to his car he recognised he didnt have his keys

                                                                     he pivoted like a welltrained marching soldier his step quick

JesusChrist, I forgot my keys, why didn’t you say something?

One thing at a time

                     Haste makes waste dig 

he didnt hear himhed already pivoted sharply again good thing he was too old to serve

he picked up Anti-Intellectualism in American Life Hofstadter off the café table refusing to witness the seething and upset that he could feel from where he sat he always had a book around to help him exercise his patience letem take all the time he needs

 

YOU DON’T HAVE IT?YOU’RE NOT FUCKIN WITH ME ARE YOU?

he looked up calmly

                      Why would I do that  Juvenile tempted to slide into senilespikes high

You don’t like fones.

However I know where mine is

At home at home at home I know; lot of good it’s doing you there.

That was a stupid comment

I gotta goif you had your fone you could have called me; you want a lift home.

No thanks Go sooner you find your fone your sanity will return

I can’t believe this.

Go Drive safe

               Youll find it

apparently on the ride home someone calledhe heard it ring  it was in the trunk beside his gymbag that he took out of the car because it was a ripe from repeated basketball outings and he hadnt laundered his gear

                                                                                                   he had to park in the sun it was a hot day

he didnt turn around return to the coffee shop

he called his cellphone to let him know he found it

                                                     left a voicemail

he heard the message the next day

1904,  Monday,  15  11. 21

1218.  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  11. 21

 

My God you’re a critical motherfucker.

Ya don think thats oddI think its odd

Apparently.

               But a dealbreaker?

Very possibly

                 But before Id break it Id ask if it was the norm

You’re serious, that could be a deal breaker?

I didnt hear a fan running inside

                                  Thatd be a legit excuse . .  or reason Whas the difference  Lemme think

You don’t know?

Yaknow

I’d . . I’d have to think abou . .

. . Oh excuse me all to hell

                               Reason he groped   not to justify but explain take accountabili . .

. . You’re certainly all about accountability.

I am

     An excuse is reasons opposite  exists to justify to blame or defend a fault  the intent to absolve oneself of accountability

                Id ask point blank what the reason was that the bathroom door was closed

                                                                                                 As a matter of fact thinking about it now  all her doors were shut

She might be a private person.

Or shes hiding something

                          None of your interior doors are closed

he paused probably running the floorplan of his house under his unblinking eyes  You’re right, all my doors are open.

Mine too

Hmmm.
        That could possibly be a dealbreaker. I’d expect any door you went through you’d have to close it immediately behind you.

Id suspect as much

She goodlooking?

That has nothing to do with it Looks arent everything

Man, you’re a queer duck.

Not so  just observant

                          An Im keen of things that run contrary to me

1807,  Monday,  15  11. 21

1116,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  11. 21