he looked around the lightthe colour was different sky trees flowers   paler 

                                                                                 something was off

Fercryinoutloud he wished he was intuitive  he could realeyes   struggled to intuit

somethings amiss

he felt wellthe difference felt external to him  externalised    external lies

                                                                              external lies the issue

Wha

     wha

one of hes cautioned patience

                               Let it in  Like drowning  Ifya don fight it its over quicker

Drowning macabre lil shit

                          Yare right thank you  that helpsreally helps

Yare welcome

like drowning he clogged his ears noseshut his eyes minimised his sensory perceptions  satstill in the pale yellow sunlight

he and his force hunkered down patiently

                                            it must have been like this during air raids hiding in tunnels cavesbehind false wallssuddenly bombs the enemy had supernatural abilities

                                                                           he wondered if he was even breathing 

his body began to cool  the sun fell lower in the sky

                                                      inside him shadows grew longer

There space   a slight space among hes  those to either side of it were suddenly aware of it too  they appeared to worry he was going to accuse themwarily looked back at him they knew better 

                                                                                   he smiled bemusedrelieved put them at ease  it wasnt their fault

 

she was missing 

               his hes were hims and hers  she was missing   she had made the difference he witnessed

he opened his eyesunplugged his ears his heart beat unplugged his nose

                                                                                       she made the difference

he was abandoned by an angel

 

 

he could only hope it was temporary

2156,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  6  10. 21

1339,  Thursday,  7  10. 21

Unloved  Tell Mama  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePrARKG5g_w 

the girls wanted ice cream

                            looking into their eyes he saw they were adamant

he didntwasnt interested  he began humming Whatever Lola Wants

they dressed him down in stereo eyes   suggested he might wanna cut that out

Wha he wasnt convincing 

                            he was playing  shesh No sense of humour

For that his wife said  you’re having ice cream with us.

Thats fine Im happy to have ice cream with you

No, I mean have, eat, ice cream.

Id prefer not

Com’on, Dad his girls said excitedlypicking up on their mothers derision have ice cream with us, that’d make it a real treat.

no sooner than they closed theirs mouth they worked him with their eyesthe three of them  his wife and eldest had huge brown eyes touted their hereditary brown eye treatmenthe watched guys jump hoops for his wife before they dated IDIOTS he told her when they began dating that that wouldnt work on him though only with extreme effort was he able to resist  not that he told her his youngest braided him with her greenishhazel eyes  as huge as her mother and sisters

felt like he had fallen headlong into the 60s film Village of the Damned

he went along with themthe path of least resistance 

he couldnt remember  yahhe could Sanibel Island Florida after hours of swimming in saltwater under the sun refreshing blizzards at the Dairy Queen without fail their girls were little

                                                                he conceded

it was a bright yellow ice cream parlor

there were booths

the girls had sundaes

how could they eat that much ice cream 

                                      he had a cone

they convinced him to have two scoops  creamy coconut ice cream

as they fell mindlessly into their feasts spooningingesting his cone unraveled the scoops falling into his hand

Manohman he saidbarely attracting their attention

                                                        I get a discount for eating out of hand 

they looked up

he took their barrage of laughter in good humour

                                                   Yes  Very funny  Someone wanna hand me a napkin please

the dispenser at the table was empty

his youngest boundup to the counter

she returned with a spoon

                           They’re out of napkins, something about an order unfilled, it's late . . I brought you a spoon . figured you could eat your ice cream cone out of your hand. she laughed  that tickled her

Out  of  my  hand

                     he tried to keep his anger in check  anger warms the body

You always say, Dad, waste not, want not.

Thank you doll for your thoughtfulness

You’re welcome, Daddy. that wasnt necessary  Daddy  unnecessary

                                                                             she fell back to her sundae  his problem wasnt hersher ice cream was getting warm

he ate down to the unfolded cone then with melted ice cream flowing down his forearmdripping off his elbow he stood and walked up to the counter  he apologised to the clerk asked for the manager for the mess on their floor from their failed producttheir lack of napkins

Originally he said to the manager I was going to ask for a discount

                                                                       but sticky as I am I prefer to be reimbursed for my doublescoop coconut cone  Im wearing half of it  Shared a portion of itoff my elbow with your floor

the manager correctly obliged him

the girls had exitedwaited outside for him

                                            they knew when he got something into his skull hed to be sure to get what he believed was reasonably his

they learned from his exampleparticularly his daughters

                                                           he always made them standup for themselves against adults when they were children

while they werent keen about it as girls they thanked him more times than he could say as young women

gratefully they didnt ask him eat ice cream with them again

0343,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

2313, Day-between-Two-Ts, 6  10. 21

Sarah Vaughan  Whatever Lola Wants  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oa6oM5kzBg 

Village of the Damned  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AUBlW5EWnI 

 

publicly politicians obfuscate make word salad he understood that

                                                                        however when in private conversation with party colleagues he expected their discussions to be frank their points succinct and distinctly able to clarify their positions

Don play politics with cohorts

“Respectfully, Senator Sanders and I share (pause here Senator Manchin yare not sharing but . . have) very different policy and political beliefs. As he and I have discussed, Senator Sanders believes America should be moving towards an entitlement society while I believe we should have a compassionate and rewarding society.”

Manchin has refused to define an entitlement society and now believes we should have a compassionate and rewarding society however also fails to define that

Sanders Senate Budget Committee chairman who is helping mold the presidents ambitious priorities into legislation wants specificity “. . tell us with specificity – not generalities, but beyond generalities, with specificity – what (Manchin) wants and what he does not want, and explain that to the people of West Virginia and America.”

West Virginia elected Manchin with just north of 209,000 votes

the country elected Biden with a record 81,284,000 votes seven million votes more than the disgraced former

1021,  Thursday,  7  10. 21

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/01/28/turnout-soared-in-2020-as-nearly-two-thirds-of-eligible-u-s-voters-cast-ballots-for-president/  https://www.cbsnews.com/news/joe-biden-popular-vote-record-barack-obama-us-presidential-election-donald-trump/

 

the eyes have it

   correct       eyes

how many times had he answered stupid questions with eyes  hopeful that who asked it would pickup on his GIVE ME A FUCKIN BREAK and either withdraw the question or restate it

                                                                he usually encouraged withdrawal despite aligning himself with theres no such thing as a stupid question  unless its reallyreally fuckin stupid  hence    eyes

he never worked on the lookhis eyes in the mirror

                                                       it hurt when he did

starteddistended eyeballs bathed in unsupportive arid air

used them only when necessary

someone would have to be blind to miss them

of recent perhaps because of the Ahole times were living in despite eyes the offender waits

Awright really playing stupid

                                he then offended them unsparingly with his tongue usually beginning with he was sorryhe didnt like offending women he hoped they grant him absolution Areya a cunt                 

cunt really drives his point home

with men

with women

             he was especially riled when women whom he held in higher regard asked a stupid question and saw  yet disregarded his eyes

his last go-round was with his manager hed been sitting out Trump virus couldnt remember her name now she was his fifth managerfifth wholesale management changeover in four years

                                                                        Are you here to pickup your check?

                                                                                                                  eyes

I don’t think I have a check for you.

                                     no she wasnt a thinker she was another in a long line of nonthinkers who thought they lorded over him by virtue of their title

You don

I didn’t think so. she Cheshire Catsmiled

                                             What can I do for you?

Nothing I just happened by

Is there a form you need to complete?

                                          eyes   hed have thought that Nothing I just happened by would have concluded her questioning  the eyes   the beginning-to-slide-away

No

What can I do for you?

Nothing

        three strikes and yare Out

he knew he made a mistake coming in but this was the last place he thought he might find what he was looking for

rudely he turned his back on her

he failed to find it

he left without saying buhbye

she made his eyes hurt

0343,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

1637,  Twosday,  5  10. 21

Alice Cooper   No More Mr. Nice Guy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huKbLK5aC6Q

 

it was a small airport concourse

                                 though considerably larger than the one it replaced which remained standing next door because a wellknown wateringhole and restaurant operated out of it

one went through Security hold then into an open-air patio before entering it to access the gates

whenever he flew infrequently he made it a point to keep to the patioto the fresh air than mingle with the thin crowd indoors

        decidedly so since Trump virus had taken root he wasnt wearing a mask any more than he had to

                                                                                                               he knew what time his flight boarded so until then he found a chair set his carry-on and bookbag on it he stood before it reading hed be sitting on his ass soon enough and more than he cared so this helped him mitigate the inevitable he also kept a clipboard paper and pen at hand to make notes if he was inclined

                                                                      he usually was

occasionally prerecorded or informational broadcasts were made into the patio via artful PA horns mounted in protected corners their acoustics were obviously assessed the sound was crisp not overwhelming almost conversational

consideration was also made not to pipe canned music into the space elevator music recognising that either personal music or the anticipation of travel was sufficiently stimulating

two people sat directly behind him at a small café table

                                                          he assumed they were together but each was at their smartphone  smatterings of quiet talk into them or otherwise manipulating apps

occasionally they addressed each other in an unfocused warm manner soon theyd be sitting side by side for hours

over the PA a stunning new voice braced themDEMANDED their attention

                                                                             it wanted a passenger precisely enunciating their name  Immediately come to Gate 4 it repeated their name once again  Gate 4

                                                                                          Oh man he thought rather he thought he thought

                    the couple at his back laughed

he turned to them 

                   Said that out loudhuh

they laughed harder 

Yeahwell whoever it is he said he wants to talk to sounds like theyre in big trouble  Sounded exactly like my old man when he meant business first middle last name  I was in trouble

they nodded

Yup no way Id want to be that passenger Sounds like theres going to be hell to pay

they nodded enthusiasticallycontinued laughing

Happy yare following maybe were long lost half brothers an half sister which could possibly be unfortunate for you yare married I think there are laws forbidding thatexcept in the South 

they laughed harder yet

his trip was starting off on the right foot

1142,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  15  9. 21

1044,  Twosday,  5  10. 21

Beatles  Day-Tripper  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2IbPn5j2YKk

Here here, take this exitthis exit . . HERE!

  Easy does it

                       wasnt like he needed to take a shit

he wanted a Dairy Queen

made more sense if he was stonedhis urgency

                                                he wanted a Dairy QueenNOW

they were driving through Long Beach the industrial shipping part of town hell of a place to locate a Dairy Queen by his memory a clean well-lighted place 

You sure

GoogleMaps says so, Google’s God.

Tell me how ya really feel

Just get me to Dairy Queen; take a right at the top of the ramp then a right at the next intersection.

The intersection

Right at the next intersect . .

. . Name

Why do you need a name?

Im driving  sufficient enough

Jesus, name . . . Gulf Road.

as he approached the intersection

                                    Looks like a gulch Why a Dairy Queen in an industrial district

he took Gulf

            immediately to his left was a fertilizer company depot across the street a diesel maintenance shop furthur up on the left an auto wrecking yard right a ruststained warehouse and various Quonsets rusted outbuildings  Ya fuckin kidding me he braked for a rat left a yard for an asphalt blacktopping company kattycorner a not-so-gleaning white well-used put-away-wet Dairy Queen

THERE!

Dude thats a Dairy Slut

Shaddup.

he pulled into the small parking lot avoiding potholes abandoned shopping carts

You want something cool and sweet, maybe chocolate-coat . .

. . To hide the ptomaine

                         No thank you

Suit yourself, I have to use the head first.

By all means

as he walked back to the car Get the door for me, willya? he had two tall ice cream cones one was chocolate-covered with nuts

he pushed the door open for him

he got in

he excused himself as he leaned across his lap to shut the door

                                                                   You could have gotten out of the car and done that.

An leave my scent for the Blob to follow unlikely

                                                   Just shaddup an eat your cones

I will; gotta say that that bathroom was right up there among the worse bathrooms I’ve ever been in. he took a bite out of the bright white cone

0343,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

1226,  Twosday,  5  10. 21

 

stopped him cold in his trackshe actually stumbled

                                                     not on anuythingnot on an invisible crack that tripped his wife and daughters regularly fortunately they were adeptagile superior athletes                                                                                                                               they didnt appreciate his HOHOs  they always wanted to know how the hell it was he walked and read and never tripped or stumbled

                                                                                            where were they now

words he read tripped him

page30 Carol Andersons White Rage: The Unspoken Truth of Our Racial Divide  ought to be put in hands of every American child they ought to be taught not to fear the truth no matter how ugly American truth and myth is

“ . . . in the spring and summer of 1866, the South’s descent into an orgy of anti-black violence signaled the final break between (President) Johnson and the Republicans. gotta know your history In New Orleans, nearly fifty Africa Americans were slaughtered and more than one hundred injured for meeting to discuss voting. When one of the killers, who had just bludgeoned a black man to death, was warned that ‘he might be punished,’ he scoffed. ‘Oh, hell! Haven’t you seen the papers?’ he said, ‘Johnson is with us!’” (citing A. G. Langguth, After Lincoln: How the North Won the Civil War and Lost the Peace, page148)

Johnson is with us

Trump is with us

the former is the worst   Johnson second    Andrew Johnson the third  America would have been better without them

1418,  Twosday,  5  10. 21

anuything: anything nuthin

third person

           Ever speak of yourself in third person

queer

ungainly

 to him

          obviously he wrote in third person

he was confident some people were comfortable perhaps intrigued referring to themselves in the third person

                                                                                                                 the Former  although he is a false human beingHOW does a false human fool other people

he hadnt a clue

               the guys been a Bozo since he read of him last century

a friend reminded him of his fortune that he didnt suffer the slings an arrows an manipulations of social media

                                                                                                                   NO

but that didnt make him smart

                               he wasnt fond of immediacyfond of 24/7anything shoved down peoples throats by commercial entities that monetised anything they could get their hands on

he wasnt fond of greed

                       when the whole world had fresh water  a pot to pee in  nourishing food

then greed

Inequity

         maybe that allowed some people to talk of themselves in third person

wouldnt God talk of himself in third person

 

1517,  ReggaeFriday,  10  9. 21

1241,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

Bad Company  Bad Company  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXQJpyQBShU

he loved staggering in the front yardhead thrown backmouth open catching big fat snowflakes on his tongue

his father came out

                    they were heading outdriving over to the liquorstore to buy beer liquor for a party his parents were throwing  Come on, screwball, let’s go! 

Catch a snowflake on your tongue first Dad

No, I don’t think so; I got, we got things to do.

Theres so many Dad just open your mouth Yacant miss

                                                          staggering boots slipped he fell onto his back  Look at me Dad laying down Im still catching them on my tongue  he lolled his tongue side to side exaggerating himself

Come on, Joe, you’re a screwball. Get up, brush yourself off, we gotta go.

                                                                           DAD just one snowflakejust one  Theyre delicious

They’re snowflakes, buddy, one tastes like another.

When was the last time you ate one when you were a kid Id bet

                                                                   he started making a snow angel close as hed ever get

You’re right, not since I was a kid.

Comon Dad lay down beside me make an angel catch snowflakes on your tongue  You afraid someones gonna see

You could teach them some things  mebbe teach some parentsremind them theyre nothing but big kidsCOMON

Comon, comon, comon . . . you’re a pain in the ass, Joe.

                                                          he walked over sat down in the snow laid back  made an angel beside his son gobbled snowflakes  You’re right, boy, the snowflakes are delicious.

a neighbor came out in his shirtsleevesBob! Are you okay? What the hell are you doing?

What’s it look like?

Man, looks like fun.

                    he was in his stocking feet  he walked out onto his front yard sat laid back  Fercryinoutloud, I haven’t done this since I was a snotnose kid.

2214,  Sunday,  22  8. 21

1344,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

Free  All Right Now  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSdBtoIIYT4  

Youngbloods  Get Together  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rxvU1wkyec 

 

theres fallacy

                      then theres phallusy

    lies

          lies told by men 

lies told by men to gain way into womens panties

lies told by men to other men to garner acceptance stature  hyperbole  colouring polishing tales

Go ahead look it up its in the dictionary 

                                             If it isnt it ought to be

1535,  ReggaeFriday,  10  9. 21

1132,  Sunday,  3  10. 21

Free  All Right Now  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSdBtoIIYT4

Sons of Kemet  Through the Madness Stay Strong  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5fBOvvcUmE       

 

Otto  

he cringed

Oughta

          Dig

he wasnt humoured

                         Otto oughta opt out

Otto had long ago 

                  when push came to shove hed acknowledge his initials  G-O-Fgruffly rather than admitgive testament to his given name  should anyone want to address him they could call him by his nickname

                                                                                                a happy perhaps mythic tale of nurses who conferred a nickname on him that hes carried forth since  he was the only baby boy in the nursery probably the last time he worked a room of females

                                                       according to him it was too bad females didnt remain or retain the muteness they had as newborns  it would have pleased him endless 

he didnt care for opinionated women                       

You seem to prefer women who havent a brain in their head

I haven't said that.

Yahave 

        Whas the matter with you

They have opinions; I've usually found them not based in fact.

Ya know that

I know it’s likely a coin toss.

A coin toss

Yes.

Hmm  youll excuse me all to hell I cant help but imagine the women youve preferred associated with over the years

he made it a point to beat him regularly that women are superior to men If a woman couldnt hold her own with me intellectually usually bettering me no matter how attractive they areBuhbye Ive enjoyed the genuine fortune of having the company of intelligent attractive women

Come on, you’re dreaming, the two don’t jivedon’t go together.

Pray tell  Ot-to

Don’t call me that. he snarled

Yakiddin me Suits you to a T Spelled the same forward and back

                                                                      An easy test for women you dated  only have to remember two letters  to letters

You’re so fucking cleve . .

. . See  anif I was a women you wouldnt have dated me ya wouldnt have had to bother tossing a coin

I've dated intelligent women.

Im listening

            Ive listened to you tell of your soirees  Whas always presentedyouve presented are the womens physical attributes  as much the men theyre big approximate height weight athletic played football basketball asif their physical prowess was a measure or a mirror  You were able to hold your own with them

Women ya don catch big fish in shallow water

The hell you know.

I know better than flipping a coin 

                                     he didnt necessarily storm off not like a woman would when she had enough of your guff  he turned and walked away rapidly 

he supposed Otto did opt out

 

                                  O   o 

                                                   -- 

  

1527,  Reggae Friday,  10  9. 21 

1022,  Sunday,  3 10. 21