19.7.21

 
Aaah
     he couldnt go off to bed leave her alone until tomorrow 

not a real good bet shed sneak in later and join him 


the night before was unexpected uncomfortable
                                                hed never had a choice from among four willing women who appealed to him between two he wouldnt have been disappointed if it were a coin toss 
                                                                                heads or tails
had it pleasured him he could have randomly paired them tossed twice pair the winners toss a third time 
                                                                                                              winner by luck
whos really enthused winning by dumb luck dumb people 
what would coin tosses say about him
                                            or her
that wont do letem compete 
he thought outside the box 
letem swing for the fence

letem strike a pose  Vogue
                            on fourpost canopied beds the gothic hall was enormous 


she took it hands downshe was arresting 
VOGUE
       she knelt she assumed a mockChrist crucified arms flung out shoulderheight hands adangle wrists rigidspiked she held her head up fixed him with her deepbrown eyes  she was naked no embarrassmentProud an attractive bodylarge round breastsround inquisitive aureoles legs slightly spread  a silkenshaved chevron 

she talked to him without speaking
she was in his head

he was in hers

 

unexpected

uncomfortable

she was in his peripheral the whole day he didnt want to close his eyes
fearful he would lose her


exhausted he invited her to bed and fell asleep 




she wasnt there when he woke

early AM,  Saturday,  17  7. 21
1302,  SunnyDay,  18  7. 21

Greta Garbo and Monroe
Dietrich and DiMaggio
Marlon Brando, Jimmy Dean
On the cover of a magazine

“Grace Kelly, Harlow, Jean
Picture of a beauty queen
Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire
Ginger Rogers, dance on air

“They had style, they had grace
Rita Hayworth gave good face
Lauren, Katherine, Lana too
Bette Davis, we love you

“Ladies with an attitude
Fellas that were in the mood
Don't just stand there, let's get to it
Strike a pose, there's nothing to it”

Kylie Minogue  Can’t Get You Out of My Head  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c18441Eh_WE                                                     

                                          

                           have faith


he could tell you the first timethe only time he sought faith   he couldnt say he had it 


check your baseline stats
                           heart  pulse  bloodpressure  lungs  respiration   then ask yourself the last time you had faith


it is not grace
              it doesnt fall into your lap 

faith isnt mystical its indoctrination 
                                      baptism  Holy Communion  Confirmation  bat and bar mitzvahs  world religions  definitely evangelism

that shits just exercises

that shits not real worldnot street    book learning
                                                     theory

 


he bought in when his daughter had a gastrostomy tube placed  he asked the physician She can have it removed when she doesnt need it anymore he said Yes.
                                            he didnt lie

 

when faith fell away

                           it took gobsgouts out of his heart 

0923,  Day-between-Two-Ts.  14  7. 21
1158,  Saturday,  17  7. 21
Sparklehorse  Eyepennies  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcam-P0Y90Q

18.7.21

 

   I think I quit listenin to ya
                                 Yare talkin about Damocles right
Who?

The name yare tryin to say is Damocles The sword of Damocles

How do you say it?

Dam – o – cles they had some real character to their names in the daydidnt they   Bob

Yes, they . . say, what are you getting at?

Gettinat
          The sword of Bob Oooh Im shiverin in my boots 


I'm going to ignore you.  Dam-o-cles.

Correct

Damocles.

Thereya go ya got it 
                      Damocles  Bob

Would you let that go? he exasperated him 
                                           You know the story?

I know the story but Im enthralled an excited to hear your retelling of it given ya struggled with Damocles   Bob colour rose in his face Comnow don get upset  Im listenin now 

Why are you such a prick?

Prick  Maybe because rather than butchering the name over an over ya say I donknow how to pronounce his name Three syllables I think yaonce took it to fivesix asya sputtered to get it out  Gotta know when to ask for help

An now yare sidetracked anya havent a fuckin clue why you brought it up 


Do you

I don’t remember.

See how easy that was to admit.
                                   So  possibly paranoia the perils of power change places the prince and the pauper Mark Twain Samuel Clemens Jovenel Moise shot to death in his bed yaknow they woke him up before they shot him right how ironichuh we wish to die in our sleep in our beds but they woke him so he knew he was a dead man  Im with the assassins on that 


Really?

I donknow but I do like black humour 
                                       The perils of power
Kennedy warned Americans they lived under the nuclear sword of Damocles Who knew that a single horsehair could holdup a scimitar wha type of knot secures it who tied the knot a novice for a merit badge a bondage master before Id accept the mantle of power Id wanna know who tied the knot how old the horse was an does the gallows the sword dangles from follow me everywhere I go

Oh An  Theres no compulsion in religion The Qur’an Spelled q-u-r-apostropheapostasyapostate-a-n  Swords dangle everywhere 
              Sorry your story

No thank you. Let’s move on, move along; that's too much shit to unpack.

Please Give me one turd woudja 

Sorry, man, it went in one ear and out the other.


Yare a real conversationalist   Bob 
                                      Ya understand there will never be a sword of Bobright

A simple question at last, I understand, I do. 

1501,  Saturday,  17  7. 21
309preferred or 1509,  SunnyDay,  18  7. 21

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/lindsey-graham-floats-senate-gop-leaving-washington-dc-to-deny-a-quorum-for-democratic-infrastructure-bill/ar-AAMipeK?ocid=mailsignout&li=BBnb7Kz

Hmm
     so maybe Senate Republicans are really doublingdown on not doing the work they were elected to do 

VOTE FOR ME I DID NOTHING FOR YOU
I DID NOT VOTE FOR A SINGLE DOLLAR YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM GOVERNMENT
I BELIEVE THE BIG LIE 
I FILIBUSTER 
             Whaelse did I dothere was something else Whaelse I do . . to serve you . to earn my re-election Ah I DENIED QUORUM 
           Maybe I’m not taking the same stance for people's voting rights as Texas State House members are maybe I’m not making $13 a day as they are  BUT that’s neither here nor there
I HAVE ETHICS

IF JANUARY6 DIDN’T BRING THIS COUNTRY TO ITS KNEES 
                                                               JUST GIVE US A BIT MORE TIME
WE’LL BE A WHITE NATIONALIST COUNTRY YET

VOTE FOR ME
              HEIL 

Did I let slip Heil? I meant Hell yes!   pastywhite Lindsey Graham of South Carolina  hes incensed  

1202,  SunnyDay,  18  7. 21

           


he found it scribbled on the reverse side of a communication from AAA dated August 31, 2015  a reply an apology he demanded from management after he had to call and berate them for applying two checks he sent to one account and threatening his automobile insurance for non-payment

his head wasnt up his ass
                            had it been  he would have realised the unusual visuals 


he wrote  an old Soviet joke – “The future is certain; it is only the past that is unpredictable.”

he wasnt sure where he found it 

he didnt cite where he read it

long passages accompanying the quote were in regards to Ellis Island 

if push came to shove hed guess he found all of them in Fear Itself  Ira Katznelson  but he couldnt say for sure
anif yacant yadon
                        he read too much to keep his pretty maids all in a row sigh


. . . only the past is unpredictable
                                    Aw  the stink of Republican feigned amnesia regarding the Capitol insurrection on January6

“I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same . . . So help me God.” 
                                                                                        what American could imagine the threat to the Republic would be domestic  would be elected Republicans

1257,  Saturday,  17  7. 21

17.7.21

 

 . . . that was unexpected . .

he heard it

did he say it

Yesss

he heard himself say Yes

That was unexpected . . .

he heard it asif he was far off

 

he didnt try to talkhe knew he couldnt
                                         he thought a laugh bubbled in  That was unexpected then he went black   black  blackeryet




going out onto the porch he caught the amberorangetinged crescent moon just above the hill on the horizon yesterday by dumb luck 
            watched it slipout of the sky a long fearsome orca fin shark fin a moltenredorange dot then the sky where it was went black

a feral cat female he named wee walked on the porch rail before him  he petted her as he watched
                                                                                                        Well girl thank you for the company Well have a date tomorrow night too awright 


his fortune in life was his dumb luck 



Wha time is it to no one
                         Christ he stopped writinglet the pen fall to the page and bolted out of the studio up the hall crossed the livingroom the small game room to the screen door to the porch outside

wee mewed in the dark  he heard her leap up onto the railing
                                                                 he couldnt see herstill had too much light in his eyes

groping for the railingplacing his hand flat on top it she bumped his wrist with her headshe always led with her head
Hey girl wheres the moon he was slightly panicked didnt want to miss it he felt for her petted her abruptly then moved right he couldnt see the moon  furthur right just again there above the distant black hill  Dumb luck he sighed a wroughtiron café chair was between him the end of the porch he steppedup stood on the chair

wee moved down the railing to him but because he was on the chair she was out of reach

it was a deeper marbledamber this evening  the moon took its colour from the smoke in the atmospherefrom the wildfires burning north a bruised scythe teetering on the black hill it sank  a sullen boomerang tuna tail hammerhead dorsal blunted chevron flame then a molten dot then blacknesshaunted by the trail of light in his eyes how fortunate he was

sullenly wee leapt down onto the chair from the railingthe chair rocked she got caught between his feet he shifted them to accommodate her he must have stepped on her tail she lashed outscratched him he jerked his leg awaythe chair rockedhe lost his balancewent over the railing backwardslanded in the gravel around the firepit on the back of his headhis body torqued up snaggedleaned on the raw latticework under the porch

 

 

. . . that was unexpected . .
2357,  Thursday,  15  7. 21
1239,  Reggae Friday,  16  7. 21

  
 . . . wellshit   he was alive long enough to realise that ya gotta take the good with the bad 

a once in a hunred year pandemicTrump virus is worth potentially thousands of years of the relief and hilarity that cannabis has provided
                        if Former had a brain in his head and responded vigourously enforced what was the best medical science 600,000 Americans wouldnt have died Mangos a real peach

wild Chinese cannabis is likely the worlds progenitor


so it goes the eternal dichotomy of good and bad not good and evil
                                                                          evil is a religious descriptor

1715,  Reggae Friday,  16  7. 21
1055,  Saturday,  17  7. 21

16.7.21

Freya


gotta be careful when yare shakin out cobwebs
                                                   things fall that you havent ever considered or considered in years 
infidelity
           thats a hot number  gotta kick it around the room knockin heat an ash off it before ya pick it up  examine it

What did you do 

Ya fuckin kiddinme  its right there out in the open


Arent you ashamed 

No
   I wasnt ashamed 

My wife didnt find out

Her husband didnt find out

Its one of the few times I might assess a one-off
                                                   Never happened again
You cheated
             Then you say Never happened again  Im hard pressed to buy that 

I aint sweating you  Im honest  I admit I cheated and admit it never happened again 

If youre so honest you wouldnt have cheated

Im not making a defense
                           Im being honest  

If your wifeif her husband asked you if you slept wit . .
. . I would have been honest 
                              Im wasnt ashamed of sleeping with her  If asked I would have confessed 
I wasnt asked

It didnt tear me up 

I wouldnt confess for confessions sake  Not to a word a dictate


he pushed it around with the toe of his boot until it looked cool then picked it up  he brushed ash off it against his jacket breast and looked again 
                            he smiled real widehe wished again he had dimples
she did 
dimples in her cheeks 
at her chin
            when he flipped her over  dimples of Venus

it wasnt her dimples that did him in

it was the way she bit her lower lips
                                     like a scolded child mighttoo fuckin appealing  too appealing
applecheeked

high brow

full lips

iceblue eyes


Freya
       Look her up

in that particularly onceinalifetime moment  in that warm bubble bath she drew for him  who does that he soaked pain and exhaustion out of his back shoulders arms  had chopped woods for hours in snow and cold 
                                                                                                     she stood at his hand  set her hand on top of his  Anything else can I do for you?  she bit her lips 
                                                                              he went out the top of his headpulled her into the suds pulledtore her clothing off so her skin would be slick against his otter slick
they kissed pinched groped mouthed bit clutched 
he slipped out from under her out of the tub
put an arm across her backhand in her armpit arm under her knees 
snatching her out of the water he walked over to the bed  tossed her into it  he got in  he held her breast firmly squeezed itplayfully pinched her nippleshe gasped  he kissed her deeply

their breaths painted each other


 they shared idyllic infidelity
 
0154,  Twosday,  13  7. 21
434preferred or 1634,  Thursday,  15  7. 21

 

he had to quit sitting to his right 

he knew better but sometimes there was no seating to his left he was stuck he had to amplifyraise his voice carefully subtly 
       if he was careless hed have to contend with his petulance  I can hear you, you don’t have to yell.

horseshit he heard him but not well

he admitted it was his trick ear

trick ears are troubled ears

he told him as much
                      Have you had your hearing checked 
No, it’s unnecessary.

having a trick ear is built-in plausible deniability
                                                 anwho doesnt want that baked into their cake
anthis mook  he stretched his deniability all out of shape 
it was like talking with a child
I did not.

Yadid

I did not, I did not.

Yadid I told ya an ya said yah

I did not . . or . maybe . I didn’t hear you right.
YATHINK
         whenever he reached YATHINK he knew his eyes bugged he glaredquickly he put his fingers to his eyeswiped them wiped the shit out of them and under his palms he sighed 
                                                                        one of his interior selvesusually more said Knock him out Youll feel better  You know that will make you feel better
                                                           inside his sigh was Sorry boys not a tenable option
he knew more about tenable than he cared to admit


Im sorry wha the hell are ya talking about

What are you talking about? You said it. I’m waiting for you to catch me up.

Catch you up theres nothing to catch ya up about

Then say it again.

Ive said twice

Humor me; say it once more.

he turned in his chair to face him full on CHAISE LOUNGE
                                                             Better

Chaise lounge? You said chaise lounge.

I yelled it

Chaise lounge.


Whadid ya think I said

 

humbly Chaste lounge.

Wha the fucks a chaste lounge

I don’t know, I was waiting for you to explain it to me.
                                                         You said it.
several of his interior selves said Woudya knock him out.
                                                         Nah  to him Its yours Take a shot at it Yamake something up its your bedlame
bedlame

hed miss it

SunnyDay afternoon,  11  7. 21
1337,  Thursday,  15  7. 21

15.7.21

Mr.

 
   for the most part he understands its men though they gotta scatter a few women in there so it looks bipartisan hur unprejudiced
                 they just cant seem to get it rightthey wanna deny women the right of abortion
                                                                                                     but on the other hand they want to force contraception – for the time being chemically sterilised – on women 

                     WHICH IS IT BOYS 


Buck v. Bell 1927 the US Supreme Court MEN ruled in favour of forcibly sterilising a feeble-minded woman Carrie Bell

Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes argued it was perfectly acceptable to force sterilisation on a woman because of her low intelligence he affirmed the value of Virginias law in order to prevent the nation from “being swamped with incompetence . . . Three generations of imbeciles are enough.”

Whabout feeble-minded men
                             an whasitbout men who would have sex with a feeble-minded a retarded woman lets hope shes of age 


Questions questions questions  BOYS

1211,  Thursday,  15  7. 21
Ben Harper  Excuse Me Mr.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJjsEyW5l6M

 
it was a joke between them

courtesy of Trump virus 
                          a bad joke squared

his buddy had family closeby

his family was crosscountry

his buddy was an extrovertuncomfortable being by himself

he was an introverteasily entertaining himself

Man, I can't stand being by myself.

Im comfortable with me

Comfortable with me, bullshit; you got to be lonely.

Lonelys a state of mind 
                         Im good company

Yeah, alright, whatever floats your boat.

A tiresome analogy  Nothing original

Why? Tried and true.

Like sleeping with a hooker


You being ornery?

Not at all  I was commenting on your tried and true
                                                        A tiresome idiom  sounds like ya could use fresh blood or an oldfashioned bloodletting  Leeches or straightrazor

Whatever, man.

he disliked whatever
                        he didnt comment

Ain’t playing, huh? somebody’s got to pique you. And for the time being I’m the only game in town.

For the time being

Okay, we've got the maudlin shit out of the way; room on your dance card for a cup of coffee later this week?

dance card their standing joke

Wideopen as usual Lemme know when yare free

I’m going to have to get back to you; some irons in the fire with family.

 

he called back a couple of days later
                                       Hey, I’m free Saturday. An opening on your dance card, say, around fourteenohone? he liked his odd numbers 

Aw terribly sorryfraid not Bodys in a flair

A flair? Damn. I’m sorry to hear that. Anything I can do?

Thoughtful of you to ask no thank you

You sound uncomfortable. Should I let you go?

Yah 
     Pains my dancing partner

SunnyDay afternoon,  11  7. 21
1444,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  7. 21