wheneverwherever  its a good ideawise to beat your dreams to the punch 

refreshing a water can for his feral catspushing aside bushes that usually held sway before the spigotlooking down he saw what he saw it hung in his eyes innocuously for a moment then branded his sensibilitieshe was ahead of them  acting nonchalant he saw or heard or felt a percolating in his headhis dreams rabidly taking notes scribbling to remember to use it on him perhaps that evening  though more likely some future date 

if revenge is best served cold 

                             this bunch camped in his skull would fuck his dead body

he saw the reason in it 

no one could stop them

possibly a benefit of not having brakes conscience   or consciousness

lotsa luck to the next beast that they would infect and harrow when he was dead

 

pressing the forgiving bushes aside with the watering can he saw slender fine spiderwebs and gouts of frantic strands that would be like healing scabs on a persons flesh they were everywhereon the plantsin the dirtstrung between wood members holding up the porch  arrayed in the sun that likely they rarely ever saw they were silverwhite and he recognisedprobably as his dreams did  their tint wasnt unlike his long hair or that twining in his beard  

he could imagine where his dreams might go with those elements 

                                                                     webs spiders brittle exoskeletons evacuated dried tinny like aged beer cans hurled to the weeds along a road from passing cars  eggsac puffs like cotton candy  an invite to hundreds of scurrying offspring

he heard stonecold fingers snap like gunshots 

                                               heard Muthafuckerthat muthafucker                                               

aint nothing as gratifying as usurping ones dreams  

1255,  Sunnyday,  18  10. 20

1529,  Sunnyday,  18  10. 20

postscript 

           he read  . . revenge can be worth the cost DUH Revenge is only beneficial if you can improve yourself through it. WHA YAHOO WROTE THIS  BENEFIT ISNT REVENGES PURPOSE In most cases you won’t break even when you obsess over getting revenge. AINT ABOUT EVEN REVENGE IS EXCESSIVE In most cases, taking revenge is just going to make you feel worse OR ENTIRELY BETTER or it will come with consequences that make your life worse. YAD BE AN IDIOT IF YADIDNT SMELL THE SCENT OF POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES AND AMERLIORATE THEM     

 

What a mook. You kidding?you gotta be kidding . . you didn’t see that coming? How could you?you were asleepeyeballs shut tight.

 

a mook  wheres this clown picking up his insults   MOOK

Cat got your tongue?  Ha!  Cute, huh?

he was just waking up  the cats ran him over earlier that morning at the sweep and skirts of sleep he recognised the kittens tearing around the housechasing one another  they took turns at who was after who and who the third leg in the adventure was 

                 fuckin kittens are playful

ninjas to boot

did they have to do it before dawn

evidently

he knew however when they stopped chasing each otherplaying their game hed miss it he might miss it more than them itd mean they werent kittens any longer and they were probably going to be the last kittens he would ever have 

his cats lived nearly to twenty 

outliving them might mean a next kitten outliving him and left to someone elses care 

he wouldnt do that to either animal the kitten or the caretakerfuck no 

                                                                               he would definitely miss their chasing

You ain’t saying?

clown  he had a three-ring circus living inside his head but he was grateful the majority of them werent pricks

figured clowny was outanabout stretching his legs when he heard the kittens flying through the house they piqued his notorious short-lived interest 

Yaknow he said to clowny  Curiosity killed the cat

Clever. Real clever. But we all know you’re clever.

I didnt know you were a pain in the ass anthat me saying after the kittens crunched my nuts  Awgh didn’t see that coming  Ya recognised I didnt open my eyes either From sleep to sudden consciousness I think deserves some kind of pronouncement Didnt see that coming was at once witty and funny An I say so 

                                                                                     If you slept an I dont know if youse sleep I like to think you hang by your heels like bats if you do but I digress If you do sleep I dont think if your nuts were punched that youd wake with a pronouncement

                                                         But you can tell me if Im wrong As I said  I dont know

Cat got yer tongue

 

likely clownys short-term interest had expired 

a cop was writing a parking ticket

the space-meter was RED 

time expired

 

too bad 

early AM,  Sunday,  18  10. 20

1239,  Sunnyday,  18  10. 20

John Mayall  Ready to Ride  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWMKPDerZD4

 

he looked at the clock almost 9PM  felt like hed been awake foreverhe woke at 10 he didntcouldnt shut downgo to bed til nearly 3 

            WIRED though when he got that way he knew he had to feed the creep  feed it despite knowing it was insatiable

it craved his destitution annihilation it didnt want to acknowledge him  it wanted to ride the coattailsthe slipstream of something akin to the 60s fantasy Mission: Impossible disavow any knowledge of you or your team should you be captured or killed

                  which always twisted himmade him pause  disgusted him why the fuck would anyone wanna work for an organisation that wouldnt recognise his or his teams value to it wouldnt recognise they existed

though as he said  it was fantasy

 

but fantasy doesnt rap at your door

                                       Hiya. I'm Mariah. I have it on authority I’m your daughter.

Authority

           from where did that authority descend  hed been a sperm donor  inside a clinic and out 

a vial of sperm or an ejaculate didnt make anyone a father

Hiya! 

       an old girlfriend reaches out  an old roommate connects saying hes been looking him for years  Crazy, man, given these times that you've been able to fly under the radar for so long. 

                                                                              apparently not low enough

his old girlfriend was appreciated 

old roommate  could ID him as a party associated with three  yahthree   he remembered  three criminal adventures in Miami

maybe he should have shotgunned him in the Everglades but it was birdshot 20gauge  he still had a few pellets in his calf  three worked themselves out like deep slivers incurred working construction it was really nice when they expressed pushed themselves up out of his fleshnice to lose their irritation 

then another rap at the door a detective a dick digging into a cold case they were working a new angle

that body hadnt any angles left  call it mulch all these years later

novel coronavirus presented too many people with too much time on their hands  

they were defying the natural order of things 

                                                 and he wasnt having any part of it

he sent Babygirl packing he wasnt submitting to a DNA test You can blow me  he wouldnt have minded  she seemed mildly interested  that freakness could easily have been him

the old girlfriend a pleasant surprise

the college roommate 

                       he deflected and differed Nah  Cant say I remember   it worked for politicians

the fresh young dick hed have to make his name elsewhere 

                                                                I can tell ya he was a prick I can tell ya I wanted him to catch his I can tell ya I havent missed his sorry ass a bit I can tell ya if he met his end I hope it was administered cruelly 

        But thats all I can tell ya    

                                           

his past for whatever reasons presented itself in people he willingly let go of  left behind 

he didnt think he was particularly interesting

they seemed to think otherwise 

2057,  Saturday,  17  10. 20

Don McLean  American Pie  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX_TFkut1PM

NO.

            cold    bullet-pointed  NO.

Pretty fuckin adamant  Why

Tacky.

Tacky

They’re tacky; you have a disturbing sense of tacky.

Tacky

You have no tast . . 

. . An you do

 

I do. 

       Who dresses you for the office, for work?

You

Why?

Because frankly I dont give a fuck about dress shirt ties slacks belts an shoes

But you'll admit you have to follow a prescribed, an expected dress code, business attire, make an appearance.

Appears so  Business is appearance  smoke and mirror an so much horseshit

Helps pay our bills.

It do  No argument there  The argument appears your unrelenting adamancy to me having three plastic pink flamingos in the backyard 

                The fuckin backyard  I aint asking to post them up in the frontyard 

                                                                                        Not like Im striking a burning K K K cross yaknow

You're always so hyperbolic, Joe.

When something smacks of ridiculous hyperbole is fitting an appropriate Whats your hard-on about

My hard-on?

Aint being hyperbolic

My hard-on? My har . .

. . Spit it out quick girl looks like you got a mouth full of shit

To my mind, decorative pink flamingos are white trash.   There.  I said it.

Ansomehow  ya think white trash might hurt my feelings

I think people other than white trash enjoy the  the    how to say this  the frivolitythe playfulness of comic-looking avians 

        You like clowns  I think theyre beasts  I dont knock you or attack your taste in thingswe like what we like  You think of a time I ridiculed  anything  youve enjoyedyouve taken pleasure in

But maybe thats a womans prerogative

A woman’s prerogative?

Yes

To change her mind?

 

To be a bitch

 

 

he conceded

                  that year for his birthday she conceded  she bought him a flamboyance of glass pink flamingo swizzle sticks 

 

2320,  Friday,  16  10. 20

1512,  Saturday,  17  10. 20

Stones  Can’t You Hear Me Knocking  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWE6LPCs4ns 

 

full-fledged films had invaded his dreamspace 

as the end credits rolled he read his name on the big screen as writer and director   cinematographer  stunt credits  

 

two  back to back 

                   he was running out of popcorn and Pepsi

 

Wha this shit about  he wondered when he woke 

                                                      he didnt leap from bed when waking  he rolled onto his left side and looking out the window enjoying the savage hummingbirds wheelingthrowing their shadows on the dirty windows  he had to clean them  but he liked that the birds shadows were more distinct cast on dust  he enjoyed their arresting iridescence when they finally conceded they were hungry and devised an uneasy truce to feed

with the aerial dogfight tamed he rolled onto his backmade sure his cock was still therewhich was always a comfortwhich always made his morning black cup of Joe tastier

usually when finished confirming he remained intact one or two or four or all five cats bounded up onto the bed to confirm Hey man whadafuck  Were hungry 

                                               he smacked his lips at them and they had learned to smack their lips back  few guys could boast they were accustom to waking up to more than one pussy 

                                                                                             he refused to elaborate

he wasnt a kiss n tell kinda guy

keeping pussy happy was his first priority 

second was the pussies outside nearly beating down his door  they were four

third priority was making freshground coffee and while it brewed in a simple Proctor Silex maker he washed up the cat dishes and looked into the cupboard and refrigerator vegetable crispers and freezer to figure out what hed make for dinner that night

his daughter was a fisherwoman and she bartered with other fishers so he also had an array of frozen wild fish to choose

he was good in the kitchen

when he was a boy and protested about doing laundry ironing mending clothessewing on buttons cooking his Maw tersely saidhed never forget If you think I’m letting you out of this house to be a bum for some woman to have to take care of, you’re out of your freaking mind.

it hurt that she called him a bum

did a bum the oldest of eight change diapers from the fourth on down 

                                                                          he didnt think so he was the least bumish of any of his siblings 

               when he skated on the Nam Drafthe shared Muhammad Alis I ain’t got no quarrel with them Vietcong he went cross-country with sixthousand in bill rolls he made cutting lawns raking leaves shoveling snow and most lucrative  babysitting babies neighbours dug having a young boy watching their kids and touted him to their friends  He can even cook them dinner if you leave him ingredients.

Bum  In a pigs eye

 

 

in his eyes a cinematic invasion of his dreamspace  Fuck

at least they werent poor more dramatic than hed ever consciously contemplatehe was simple

                                                                                                   more characters plot lines and intrigues than he thought hed want to juggle  less violent than hed livedone writes what they know

he dug the camera anglesthe cinematography  lighting  sound 

                                                                   they did seem like something hed produce

he was grateful the third nightlast night it wasnt a reel-to-reel he usual episodic  blackbreak between  no commercials next utterly disconnected episode 

he did dig the busty brunette in a red and ivory cross-striped sweater pulling down on its hem she asked him if it made her breasts look too big

Compared to what

she laughed gaylyshe didnt cover her mouth lotsa straight pearlywhites to be eaten by

                                                                                                Silly!  Compared to me.

Lets see Lift your sweater briefly

she grinned

it was a tight sweater

she crossed her armshands at the hem and tugged and wiggled sighed tugged and pulled and finally got it up over her braless breasts

Nah Yare sweater doesnt make your breasts look bigger than they are 

 

              Get real! 

                                    it was his dream         

AM,  Reggae Friday,  16  10. 20

1339,  Saturday,  17  10. 20

Muhammad Ali  https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/27/opinion/muhammad-ali-vietnam-war.html  

Elvis  Are You Lonesome Tonight?  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wlqSQGgjBE

 

                      OhShit  Maw

 

                                                    odd waycourse to be reminded of her 

 

a girl he remembered affectionately Eva Lee he laid her or she laid him on a Crandon beach then they went back to her place to shower off the sand and fuck again 

                                                Eva Lee reminded him

a strange place for his Maw to enter her jumping in like jumping off a building as people below taunted

 

his Maw had to collect him from her place Ill take ya to breakfast No, you come home now. Id have to walk a couple hours I’ll come get you. Ohnoyawont Ill call ya tomorrow Joe. she took that tone he hadnt taken that tone from her in some time and she knew it  Tomorrow Maw

she was none too happy him

earlier he told her she could go without him 

                                              the ride from Miami to Chicago might be laborious or tedious by herself  she might not wanted to drive all alone 

                                      I can take a bus

 

when she pulled up to the apartmentthe address she honked the horn

he stuck his head outside the front door and called to her Dondo that Maw its rude

Come on! Let’s go!

Gettin ruder by the moment

Let’s go!

Park the car Donbe rude come in and say hello an goodbye

                                                               he let the screen door close and walked back into the livingroom

You should just go.

Eva Eva Lee  Please dont countermand me Youre a wonderful woman and person and she doesnt get to act like that like her shit don stink

Joe, she’s your mother.

An that makes how shes acting worse I havent lived under her roof for more than two years she doesnt get to pull that Im your mother shit  her mothering has long passed Were adults She donwanna act it then Ill treat her like a child

I couldn’t get away with that with my mother.

he took her by the chinher beautiful cleftchin Shaddup and kissed her warmly and deeply

releasing her he looked into her big bedroom hazel eyes 

                                                           People will treat you the way you let em  Donwalk on eggshells for anyone

Eva swallowed audibly 

                          But mothers . . 

. . Mothers nothing They walk on their hind legs on the ground as we do  they don walk on thin air even if they think they do  Mutual respect  anif they wont respect you theres no reason to offer it in return

                                              Christ

Excuse me

he turned from Eva and crossed the livingroom to the front door again

his mother was halfway up the walk

she was dawdling 

                     Step on it  Yare acting like a butt-hurt child                                   

Joe, for Christssakes. Eva said behind him

he turned to her Yawanme to come over there an paddle yer ass he pointed with his thumb over his shoulder At the rate shes movin I could really tan yer hide

she laughedshe didnt cover her mouth  No, though not that I wouldn’t like that.

You fracture me babe Yet again another reason why I want my Maw to meet ya You make me feel proud 

                                                                                                                Anif I havent said so Im very proud of you  

Aww, you’re sweet.

I aint

Methinks thou doth protest too much.

he heard his mother at the screen door 

                                         Well have to leave your paddlin for a later date Interest accruing

Oooh.  Suppose we’ll rock n roll, huh?

Rock n roll 

            turned towards the door  his mother was knocking

Christ

he walked to the door and looked through the screen at her Yare being a pain in the asswhy ya being a pain in the ass Please  Stop it  Its unlike you and unattractive  Eva Lees a fine young woman

She is, huh? She’s one of those girls.

Those girls

Yes, those girls.

Yare a piece of work Yare one of those girls yarself

he saw her mouth began to move but cut her offhe opened the door talking over whatever the hell it was she was saying Come in Maw Theres someone Ive wanted you to meet for awhile

Eva Lee had crossed to the threshold standing angled off his shoulder behind him  Welcome to my home.

he wished she hadnt say that 

                                  one shouldnt invite a vampire in

 

afternoon,  Sunday,  11  10. 20

1234, Reggae Friday,  16  10. 20

Joe Cocker  You Are So Beautiful  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhI1DqMbDhA

 

     sometimes   sometimes when he woke in the morning hed lay still not betraying that he had wakened listened to the whispering robes of attendants skirting the sides and foot of his bed 

                                                                            he didnt know howcare to know how they communicateddidnt want to reveal that he knew they were there

it was incumbent upon them however

                                         to unlock his eyelids

and they did it in their own good time

 

this morning again he tried to open his eyes

it seemed there was only one attendant

he tried his left eye  and failed he tied his right  and failed he tried them both at oncesuddenly like lifting with two arms   and failed

until his eyelids were unlocked                                                                                        

hed have to entertain himself

in the pitched black

 

eventually  he didnt hear or feel themthe pressure of the key eventually he recognised less pressure bolts welloiled silently slipped free 

               he tried his left eye  flutterflutter  it peeled open daylight seeping in blurred his seeing his right eye didnt bother to wait for him to open it it sprang open  also blurry 

                                                                      the blurriness melted as thin ice melts in a hot sun

and he saw again

and he was grateful again that his eyes opened

he was grateful he had a new day 

                                     a day he didnt take for granted because he knew one day the attendants would leave  taking their keys with them 

                                         leaving him in the blackness  

 

0843,  Reggae Friday,  16  10. 20 

Stones  Paint It Black  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=170sceOWWXc

$219K -- Killed

he feels like Superman 

he feels powerful  

hes deluded 

              https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/we-re-in-a-third-covid-spike-chris-hayes-says-there-are-no-more-excuses-94012997906   

                          https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/nations-headlines-show-widespread-surge-in-coronavirus-cases/vi-BB1a7hRP

Wer'e coming around the bend

It’s going to disappear  This will go away like magic 

                                                        https://www.washingtonpost.com/video/politics/34-times-trump-said-the-coronavirus-would-go-away/2020/04/30/d2593312-9593-4ec2-aff7-72c1438fca0e_video.html

 

hes going to go away

but the Trump Virus aint going anywhere

2208,  Reggae Friday,  16  10. 20

 

 

Leftie!  Away from the candle  he pared his words

he stood behind her at the tubstarting up a shower   Leftie! 

                                                               she squat on the closed toilet  he watched her tilt her head askance to his voice  she didnt turnshe was ignoring him  hed been around plenty of women who chose to ignore him to recognise the same manner in a female cat                                                                                       

                                               Leftie 

she heard him 

she ignored him

Knucklehead  Fire  No insect  anif you think that flickering is an insect youre in for a rude awakening 

                                                                                                           yaknow I have zero pity for ignorance or willful disobedience

Burn yourself  thats on you

everyone who keeps a pet believes they understand them

if his cats spoke Hmong hed talked to them enough over the years that despite their Hmong theyd understand him if only by the tenor in his voice 

                               the spoken word might be overrated

tone  tenor   newbornbabes follow he didnt wanna hear the same species argument  the sexes would agree that women and men speak a different language

she crept closer to the stout candleholder the flame dancingflickering just under its lip

he was done talking

he wanted to see how this was going to shake out

 

she didnt turn to look

she didnt acknowledge himhis presence

she cautiously raised her right paw 

                                      then stealthily as only a cat can began reaching for the sambaing flame

Awww  warmed his throat

shestabbed her paw past the flameplunged it into the melted waxupsetting the votive  it spun on the tank top her paw on fire

       she whirledpirouettedsat her flaming paw briefly extended then stamped it down beside the other  the sputtering flame crossed to her other foreleg and ran up her breastshe was engulfed in a matter of seconds and sat stoicallywithout sound like an immolating Buddhist monk 

                                          the yelloworange flame then went ceruleanblue the colour of tropicalwater  it roiled      roiled  diminished quieted  then went out

she hopped down off the toilet rubbedup against his legs and left 

she wasnt hot

she left smudges

he blinked 

          the candleholder was upseton its side  melted wax had ran streaked the tank and congealed  drips like bloodspatter were on the linoleum

 

 

in the shower 

                      thinking        he was in the shower  he pulled back on the curtain and saw the mess he left for later to cleanup 

                              and he thought  meybe   meeybe  religion which decreed death for witches and drowned and burned them at a stake  bags of live cats accompanying them

                                                                     meybe  the millions of cats preceding them had evolved and made them impervious to minor  sambaing   flames 

or leftie evoked one of her touted nine lives  

                                                         Meybe

 

he wasnt asleep

it was the damnedest thing

                            the damnedest thing

 

1936,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  14  10. 20

1336, Thursday,  15  10. 20

Hendrix  Fire  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHB5PnUGBDs 

 

she was rocked he foresaw that she was hot he was rocked maybe he foresaw that 

                                                                                    though he hadnt foreseen sex in their immediate future  but there they were 

                                       there they were both wanting itwanting it fiercely clothes strewn across the room shoes in the doorway wasnt eithers place  but ahman but  they were adamantunwilling to risk getting knockedup

they didnt want to spend fiftybucks on Plan B

                                               Why do you know that?  Because she said she was then afterwards she said she wasntJesus I dont like curveballs I cant throw one or wouldnt I if I could

they didnt want to have an abortion or a child named Sex

                                                           they only wanted the hazycrazy memories of their night fucking their wanton sex a side of eggrolls a side of sticky rice  meybe Chinese hot mustard

I wanna fuck. she said he really liked that she was vocal

I do  I do too

              when he finally married he didnt promise I do   

she grabbed his cocktugged  Feels like you do.

I do

I want you to penetrate me.

                               a crazysounding bell went off in his head  its tone hung  no woman ever said that to him before Penetrate  Penetrate me  a trait of a penis penetrait penistrait penistraight ramrod  he refused to think of baseball  horseshit  nobody thought of baseball

I want you to penetra . . 

. . I heard you Ali I heard you  I can hear

she lungedkissed him hard busted his lip 

                                          she said I don’t know how you feel about this, but I want to feel you inside me. she rolled out from under himrolled onto her hip her back to him drew her top leg higher pulled on its cheek Yawanna take me in the ass?

no woman had ever said that to him before

                                                an who the fuck was he to question her  Please

Awshaddup an fuck me. 

0133,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  7  10. 20

1234,  Twosday,  13  10, 20 

Sinatra  Fly Me to the Moon  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEcqHA7dbwM