I’ll apologise if it’s necessaryif
you like. I went into your studio and saw your writing beside the typewriterit’s
an old type . .
. . Yes My mother bought it for five
dollars at the liquor store where she worked from a drunk who needed a drink
My, that’s interesting.
A boon In the right place at the right time one
could suppose
Yes. But what I mean to say, I saw your writing
and I was curious. I only looked at the top pageI didn’t mean to . . snoop . or
anything . . bad.
You didn’t have to sa . .
.
. No. I did. It’s, rather, none of my business, is it?
In a couple of days likely I would
have shared it with you
Yes, yes, I thought that too. But
what you share is after you’ve, what? reimagined it, rewrote, edited . . . I was curious to see it
in its raw form. You rarely share the raw form with me; seeds, as they are.
Ah I didnt thinkwouldnt have thought you were
interested You neednt apologise
Thank you. I didn’t mean to
intrude.
You didnt
she fumbled with the buttons on
her blouse it was childlike very attractive
May I ask you something?
Always
The piece you shared with me last
night; it was from that page?
Yes
The piece was nearly, what? sixseven
hundred words?
Youre getting good Yes
Just over seven hundred
On the page I looked at, there
were only three words.
Yes
They disturbed me.
The piece didnt disturb you
No. But the three words, timed, dated, underlined
. . did.
The words were a trigger I wasnt going to forget
Hands don’t shrink.
Yes
It is an uncomfortable
observation.
Its an observation
An observation . . like your
dreams?you don’t have nightmares . . . you have dreams.
Perhaps I havent
given it any thoug . .
.
. You could now, couldn’t you, talk to me about it.
Yes if you like
Please.
I thinkmy thought why violate something why create unnecessary violenceits the
same if you would when I refer to a personuse their name however avoid their sex if they are male
female becausenow their
sex could be a step to stereotypeclassify
them
Obviously their name will do that
too or might Pat he laughed
So I prefer to eliminate that prejudice
Pain.
Yes
You also don’t talk of pain.
No
You use the word discomfort.
Yes
Why? If you’re in pain why woul .
.
. . Why would I allow it to
infiltrate me abuse me I keep it
away at least at arms leng . .
. . As you often do with people.
Yes
A defense mechanism?
No
You wouldn’t describe it as a
defensive mechanism?
No
Then what?
I dont care That may sound cold
It is cold, and I find it difficult
to believe . because . . you care about me.
I do Perhaps
you dont recall when we met the second time
I remember. We didn’t think much of
each other the first time
We did not We agreed
I don’t following.
When we met the second timeyoull recall I didnt speak with you you were there with a
friend
I recall. Yes. I didn’t think you liked me.
A cold fishwouldnt you say
Yes.
I was observing you I was wondering if I would be wasting my time I wanted to learn if I could care If you hadnt piqued mebeing who you wereme
overhearing you
I was making a choice
And if I hadn’t liked you?
That would have been your choice
And that wouldn't have hurt you?
No I didnt know you well enough for you to hurt me
Hands dont shrink
when were beat
downusurped by terminal illness and we
fight we lose weight we shrink our muscles our bodies eat our bones stick out our faces grow gaunt
our hands dont shrink
he worked his daughters handsmassaging
them her arms tried to quell their
swellings every night
every night he held her
hands in his for hours
they couldnt talk
her illness stole her voice many
many months prior
she spoke with her eyesthey had long conversations without speaking a word
her hands didnt shrink
1256, Twosday,
28 1. 20
1516, Reggae Friday, 3 7.
20
