20.4.20


deep into 4/20 and he hadnt written anything for it

                                                              Not A Blessed Thing

it might have been that he was terribly disappointed the dusty bud he found wrapped in tinfoil lost its Wowie 

bud waondering around without its THC is like an old man without his pants crepeskin legs stretchedout whitey tighties cuz they were cheap at Kmart and there wasnt a soul interested in seeing him in his underwear or naked 

before his wife died they were married 66 years hed walk into their bedroom after a shower in only his briefs and his wife would growl at himroll her eyes truth was he did the same for her when he caught her dressing before the mirror on her vanity in her bra and panties

they growled for 66 years until she was called away 

their growling and prowling gave them nine children

they survived four of their children 
                                     and each death rapped their skullstapped their spines shrank them  and then three of their grandchildren died

she was beside herself  That wasn’t supposed to happen to us, you and I, we weren’t supposed to outlive our children, our grandchildren; they were supposed to bury us. Moja kohana, I can’t, I can’t do this no more.

just before their third grandchild died she told her sister over the telephone  You tell Ania, you tell your sister I’ll see her soon.

his wife died thirteen days after their granddaughter


thats what bad bud gave him


had it been good bud
                       had he been ragingtopped off with THC  like a good head on a beer his old man told him that a raw egg in a beer always gives you good head he might have reimagined relived the night in San Francisco when he was a bit too drunk and got a bit too frisky with a Chinese girl who sported a scarcely concealed rack – something he didnt see every day – who took exception to his drunken ogle who took exception to him calling her Oriental -- all the countries fled his head -- who pulled some kungfu shit on him and kicked his ass in the bar off the Fairmont lobby

rather than her clobbering him  with good bud he imagined rather that they made nice and on the elevator ride up to his room she let him motorboat her against the mirrored wall locking her hips in between his wrists as he gripped the railing 
         

2257,  Monday,  20  4. 20



WHO

           give ya a hint   it is not the World Health Organisation


The Times of Israel reported April 17 that US Intelligence agencies alerted Israel to the novel coronavirus in November 2019

US Intelligence also informed the Trump administration  “which did not deem it of interest”

anyone with half a brain might recall a similar horrific mistake by another administration the Bush administration National Security Advisor Condi Rice and her team ignored a report of an imminent terrorist attack in Jiuly 2001 a report was later presented to President Bush on 6 August 2001 it was titled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US” it also was ignored

spanning a generation it seems either entitlement or audacity powers Republicans and Republican presidents  Trumps administration did not learn a damn thing and is responsible for more American deaths than since the Bushs War on Terror began  and leaning in on American deaths in Vietnam

somebody please make a graphic of those comparisons

1827,  Monday,  20  4. 20  now he could get high
https://www.timesofisrael.com/us-alerted-israel-nato-to-disease-outbreak-in-china-in-november-report/                                                     


     when he wrote Lets Get the Death Show on the Road he was being glibtongue in cheek  then he read an article in The New Republic titled Donald Trump’s . . . Death Cult Takes to the Street

as regular as Trumps suppositories the president compelled his clowns last Friday  tweeting  LIBERATE MINNESOTA!  LIBERATE MICHIGAN!  LIBERATE VIRGINIA, aw Virginia doesnt get an exclamation point and save your great 2nd Amendment. wha is it Donny It is under siege!  

the 2nd Amendment A well regulated Militia – The National Guard last he heard – being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

tortured logic to scream like a little girl that Sheltering – at – Home threatens gun rights – Hell! hundreds of students murdered in their schools havent threatened gun rights – other people other than the monkeys who jump at the bars and shake and rage have certain unalienable Rights as enshrined in the Declaration of Independence  that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness
                                                      Oops  lets not forget that all men are created equal


the Declaration of Independence was signed 4 July 1776

the Constitution was signed in 1787

the 2nd Amendment was ratified in 1791


priorities

priorities

the presidents are skewed

his words dont sound like hes intent on defending and protecting the United States


1535,  Monday.  20  4. 20



never let anyone insult you at your own assembly

fuckin cut em off at their knees and let them drag themselves out the door

its not a gathering for free speech

Shaddup Listen

Ill tell you what I am feeling and what I think  Believe that

Ill tell you what is right for me And what is wrong


he detested blowhards  of any stripe

his daughter was holding her own

she dismissed the monkeytold him he wasnt to come back Tell your superiors.

but detesting blowhards he couldnt resist hanging aroundfingers crossed knowing full well it was just a matter of time before they stuck a pin in themselves and blewup shred like a childs toy balloon pieces scattering everywhere


he never did mind picking their pieces up tossing them out in the trash likely from where they came

0118,  Saturday,  14  12. 19
1354,  Monday,  20  4. 20
Crosby, Stills, Nash  Helplessly Hoping  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyquqw6GeXk


gratefully he threw her a curve


she didnt want anything beside her head as she was falling asleep

she didnt like pillows towels anything against the side of her face

her head laid on a marooncoloured UGG blanket

she liked it well enough

her head would roll roll rollright

she had to sleep sitting up for now

congestion in her lungs forbid her from lying flat she chokedcouldnt breathe


falling asleep rather catnapping her head rolled rightshed wake turn her head roll it left

on and on and on shed roll roll roll her head right and left  

she looked uncomfortable 

she didnt open her eyes

she was driving him nuts  driving herself nuts


he sat beside her in a ladderback chair he needed to be as uncomfortable as possible it was his watch


hed fix her wagon 

shed get some sleep if it killed him

he rolled up a pillowcase

semiconscious she rolled her head left

quicklystealthily he slipped the rolled pillowcase under the UGG created a bumper 

her head rolled right again

her cheektemple rolled against it

she nuzzled the UGG

her breathing deepened

intently he watched

she slept   

she slept for better than forty minutes not once rolling or rocking her head

actual sleep 


when she woke

unlike other times

she didnt awake with a start a panic


forty minutes



forty minutes


he was grateful


1532,  Friday,  13  12. 19
1118,  Monday,  20  4. 20


his daughter and soninlaw had decided to downsize

that had never been something he ever had to worry about

they never owned a house

when they were younger the only reason that spurred him in particular to own was to have a yard to grow a garden in

then his wife got sick
                       and they were grateful they didnt have a house they would have lost it


his daughter and soninlaw bought a small house outside Los Angeles 

which upset their daughters

they were going to have to share a bedroom

it was wise they didnt say anything to him

he didnt have a bedroom to himself until his wife died 

he think he paid too much
                            too much


they asked him if he would help them move

he moved furniture professionally weekend gigs for years to help make ends meet when


they sold off their livingroom furniture it wouldnt fit in the new house sold their diningroom table leaves chairs and buffet they wouldnt fit either

they went through their closests through the girls closests sold clothes gave away clothes

his daughter said We’re going through our books . .
. . Your library Excuse me for interrupting

You crack me up, Dad. You have a library. We have books. We’re not – excuse me for saying so – attached, or committed to our books. You have to have hardbounds, first editions, which speak to you. Books aren’t possessions to us.

Okay Would you mind if I go through the books youve decided not to take Ill buy them from you

No. Take them, please. You can’t buy them.


they kept more than they thought they would

Hey he told them Books pack well Theyre stable stackable make for good bases for lightermore fragile items Theyre gold

he only took a few they werent going to move

he wasnt into fantasy literature 

thats what he said

they were impressed they had books he called literature


he just wanted them to feel good about their books

1043,  Monday,  2  12. 19
2319,  Sunday,  19  4. 20
The Beatles  Paperback Writer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SepZDSkY4Ro

19.4.20


             he dreamt
                         and dreaming there were two elements in it that he was sure he wouldnt forget when he woke in the morning

he didnt

to make matters worsenot seventeen hours earlier before he went to sleep it occurred to him he dreamed the night prior and had forgotten two other elements then that had inspired him

0 for 4  look at him  as good as a pro ballplayer

nevertheless he was sure one was sexual in nature

never a bad guess

he had a wonderful sex life in his dreams its what begged him go to sleep at night which in turn he was able to suborn make languish  and directed   he prolonged them
he never came too quick in his dreams

but that was his nature he was piquedexcited to fall asleep


the second element really intrigued him which may have possibly occurred to balance his primal nature
                                                                                                              a teeter-totter
a rational structure  which might help cool that that was irrational

still  he knew he had a better shot at recovering his sexual exploits  exploiting or exploited

he closed his eyes he tried to reimagine reimage what was slipping himwhat may have hung by its nails then perhaps forlorn  exhausted  it fell   Fuck you


“Now wait a minute – I know I’m lying in a field of grass somewhere . . and it’s all in my head . . and I heard her say ONE MORE TIME NOW . . Spill the wine, take that girl” 

not bad for a cat who shot heroin with Hendrix the night Jimi overdosed Burtons burden or maybe not people deal with things differently

Burton performed deicide

Its not often one gets a chancegets close enough to pick off a god
                                                                    Whadahell  wha had he dreamed that he was so confident he wouldnt forget Wha so marveled him that he was sure he couldnt forget
Asshole

he marveled that he remembered hed forgotten the night before 

but he didnt take heed

his Unconscious set him up

maybe its little pokelittle prick leaning towards its deicide

because It and he knew he was going to dream 

he rarely didnt


SEX vs. FUNCTION or RATIONALE he preferred that which was irrational



Awwell nothing came


hed have to go to sleep later and think about it    
   
0110,  Friday,  13  12. 19
1359,  Sunday,  19  4. 20
Everly Brothers  All I Have to Do is Dream  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8

American


she smiled sweetly pushed her honeyblonde hair out of her eyes 

he really liked her freckles 

they met in a bar introduced by mutual friends who didnt see that fireworks might erupt between them

they surprised themselves

when she mentioned her place was in walking distance he asked if he could walk her home

You’d like to walk me home?

Yah I would I wished you had school books for me to carry Thats probably the last time I walked a girl home

You carried their schoolbooks?

What can I say Im a gentleman 

Did you think something might happen when you got them home?

No I just wanted to spend some time with them outside of school away from other kids Get to know them better
That was plenty

Altruistic?

Selfless Hell no I was interested in them And I hope I inspired some interest in them for me A long shot

A long shot. How do you mean?

I wasnt part of the in-crowd I didnt hang out with people who knew people who knew people Wasnt part of the social fabric

You don’t seem part of the social fabric now.

Im not You are I think you upset a few people letting me walk you home tonight

They weren’t going to walk me home tonight.

Theyd give you a lift

I didn’t want a lift.

Too bad Ive been aching to pick you up

Aching?

Yah I think under your clothingunder the pretty colours the fabric under your feminine is a fit body a hard body Youll weigh a stone

Probably some other time.

Id like  some other time

she smiled beautifullythen laughed she didnt cover her mouth


This is me. she said when they arrived Would you like to come in for a nightcap before heading home?

Id like that please Id like that very much

I thought you might.

Dont be reading my mind Hard to be spontaneous if youre parked beside me on the curb listening

You say the strangest things.

I get that frequently But I think whats going on is people are trying to say what other people want to hear Frankly I dont care If I gotta endure my thoughts Ill be damned if Im going to endure them alone Im taking you with me

You’re taking me? she flipped her hair onto one shoulder exposing her long neck


Whoa beautiful  Lets not put the cart before the horse A great idiom

Idiom. That could be a wet blanket smothering a fire.

Maybe if you didnt know what an idiom is

It’s a condom, right?

Yah Stuffed with your id Cums in different colours For men and women

she smiled again

Thats a wicked smile Ya got a wolf or big cat in you

she ran her tongue across her tongue


Youre not gonna say All the better to eat you with

No. I don’t think you’d mind being eaten.

No Ha  Were swerving all over the road All over Not to say that I dont like the road or the neighbourhoods were finding ourselves in Wha we drinking

You like to play games?

I wouldnt mind playing games with you Whacha got in mind

he followed her into the kitchen she opened the refrigerator door and leaned in from the waist

Christ he said to himself what an ass

A game.  I have beer. her voice was muffled she didnt turn to address him Dark beer.

A woman after my own heart Although something tells me we both knew that before we left the bar

Thank you. I appreciate the compliment. her head still in the refrigerator

Youre welcome An you neednt hurry on my account

Im looking for something to eat. You wouldn’t mind a bite of something, would you?

Youre killing me I could eat something

I didn’t catch that, you could eat something?

I could definitely eat something

I have cheese. A salami.

Finger food Easy 

she emerged with a bomber of Woot Stout Swiss a salami she kicked the frig door shut with her heel and stood upright with the food and beer in her arms You said you like games.

There you are I was missing your face I said I wouldnt mind playing games with you Which isnt the same thing as I like to play games  

Whadya have in mind

Let’s sit at the kitchen table.

she set the beer down Could you open it, please? The drawer, left of the sink.

Happy to

she took a knife from a butchers block beside the stove

I like your gas range I wish I had one My rentals electric Lacks passion

You like fire?

I like fire to sparks or glowing

A man after my own heart.

he almost gulped And the game

Free association.

Youre not a shrink right We havent talked about employment an Id rather not I prefer talking about you an how you are an what turns you on Art  Books Interests Not jobs

You’re not a bit interested how I make my money?

No

No?

No


Why is that?

How you make your money isnt who you are Im interested in you Flesh and blood Im interested in what makes your heart beat

What if I said my job makes my heart beat?

Id say you were fortunate One of the Few Mebbe one of the Proud A Marine Im not keen on soldiers Im not keen on taking orders

Possibly a gamechanger.

Possibly But you were talking about a game Free association

Yes. 

he opened the beer and poured it into glasses she kept in the freezer she sliced the cheese and salami and laid them on a ceramic platter the platter was colourful looked Mexican

The game

Yes, the gam . . 
. . Toast first

Toast?

Yes Well never have this moment again Our first drink together in your home 

You a romantic?

I am An I hope that charms the pants off you Not to worry though Ill be happy to pick them up for ya Toast

I’m not good at toasts.

Say what comes into your mind Epic tends to be common

she held up her glass to his I’m not good at this.

Free association You laid the groundworks

I’m really very happy you offered to walk me home.

Im happy you said yes

To happiness!

And you said you werent any good at this Yes To happiness

they sipped the Woot

Woo damn  this is fortified You been saving this

I was. I thought when I bought it I was looking forward to who I might share it with.

Lil ol me 
          I dont think you saw me coming

I didn’t. I glad I held onto it.

Me too


he took a slab of salami off the platter and holding it between his fingers he said  I noticed you sliced big Committed

Thank you. I don’t like slivers, I don’t like dainty.

Mouthfuls to sips

Mouthfuls to sips.

Free association Timelyhuh

she smiled again

You have dimples Im jealous I dont

she smiled larger

Rubbin it inhuh

I can’t help myself, you’re making me smile.

Thats a good thingyoure enjoying yourself

I am.

I am too Thank you Im happy ya let me walk you home  Very unexpected

Unexpected. You like things unexpectednot a surprise . . rather, simply, unexpected.

Yes A character traitI think My Maw always said it lend to my charm She always thought I was the most charming of her children She encouraged me An nobody wants to let their mother down

A Momma’s boy? I don’t think so.

No 
    Charming


Youre making me restless antsy for more reason than one Lets try your game

Okay. I'll go first, you associate.

Okay

Okay. Coronavirus.

Old news

Come on, play the game with me, and you can’t say nineteeneighteen or polio.

Are you making the rules up as we go along

Maybe. It also maybe in your interest to let me.

Okay  Ill concede  Anif I havent said  I like the way you think  

Thank you.  You’re ready?
                             You aren't balking?

I believe you know me better than that Youah want me to go big

Big?

Yah Big

Sure.

Again

Coronavirus.

Tuskegee

Tuskegee? 

You said big

Tuskegee. Untreated syphilis in black men?

Untreated Negroes

Negroes?

Were playing yah Tuskegee But why cull the sexes Title Two Civil Rights Jim Crow Lynchings Slavery Sent down river Jim Huck Inner cities ghettos slums Pick yourself up by your bootstraps Anif yaint got boots John Shaft  Jackie Brown   Pam Grier 
I need a breath

Go ahead
Nahwait


White supremacy

Now you can go


Awesome.  Free association.  I didn't expect an avalanche.

Not against your rules is it

she shook her head the overhead light picked up the quiet red highlights in her hair

Thank you Plenty to choose from

Oh yes.

Yes.

Tuskegee caught me off guard

Why
      Very American

1833,  Saturday,  18  4. 20
The Temptations  Get Ready  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PV97roslmt0