the pasta sauce was moving along nicelyhe added mushrooms to it for the last fifteen minutes then hed turn it off  cool have it for dinner tomorrowletting it steep a day later turns delicious to savory 

                                                                        like the difference between a virgin and several uninhibited days later

he did say savory

No nonono no Fer Christssake 
                               he didnt want to interrupt him  but if he didnt itd frayed his nerves  Never  Never let someones ignorance stand in the way of correcting them if they get butthurt too fuckin bad he didnt curtail this it wouldnt stopwouldnt cease

he understood he was in the thrall of telling his tale

but he had an issue with tale Keep it to yourself 

                                                  and thinking as much  every time he repeated it it was like a honed straight razor ever-so-lightly dragged down his cheek 

he didnt understand the word he used was incorrect unfortunately as it occurred to him to say something his friend saw it in his face No no, man, don’t stop me, I’m on a roll, man, on a roll, don’t stop me; she was smokin’, babe, she was smokin’ hot, so hot, man, so hot I thought she’d scorch my cock, scald it, yaknow, man, yaknow?

I know  hed have to work on his tell

Man, I couldn’t get enough, couldn’t get enough. despite his roll he was on topaware of his expressionsread him like a book Aw, man, I’m tellin’ you, man, NO, DON'T fuckin’ don’t!  Don’t interrupt.  I can see you wanna interrupt, but it’s my tale, you wanna interrupt, I see, your killin' me, man; don’t!

I . . 

. . I nothing! I see it in your face, yourface. Don’t! You're killin’ me.

I . .

. . Please don’t! It's on your face. You just can’t believe it. You wish you was me, huh? Right? You wish you was me.

No

Yahyoudo. You wish you was me.

Neophyte

Huh?

You kept saying neophyte Youve been calling her a neophyte this whole time . . 

. . Yah, man! A fuckin neophyte!

No

Don’t tell me no.

She was a virgin

Fuck you, no, a fuckin’ minx! She knew what she was doin’.  A fuckin’ neophyte.

Nymph  Maybe nympho

Whaddaya talkin’ about, man, I’m tellin’ ya, a fuckin' neophyte.

She wasnt a neophyte A nympho
Not a neophyte

The hell, don’t matter, it’s my story.  
I tell it my way.
You jealous.

You  just   jealous.
                            he didnt care for the way he rolled his head side to side as he said  sometimes you try  but you cant stand between a man and his ignorance

2211,  Saturday,  1  6. 19

1354,  Sunday,  2  6. 19

Boards of Canada  Dayvan Cowboy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qWkIweYB2Y   

he read on an online post “Maureen was an ardent friend of Mary a sycophant of Marys”

well  there are sycophantsarent there  then there are sickophantspanting at the next wordevery word

                                                                                                            a firmgreasy fist sliding up and down their cocks greasy fingers in their cuntsup their ass

aint a sicko for nothing

1223,  Saturday,  22  6. 19

Ghostpoet  Shedding Skin  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRZ9FSO8Isc

not to imply that fingers up anyones ass is sick 

cuntsup aint catsup 

Jethro Tull  Cross-Eyed Mary  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tvt6lyiDwQc

Aqualung  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0jMPI_pUec

the pilot came over the intercom advising the cabin of expected turbulence and instructed the flight attendants to immediately cease their service stow carts return to their seats and buckle up

Wow he thought Im gettin a bonus with my ticket 

                                                    his eyes lighted uphe was spirited away like a little boy who discovered after paying entrance to a carnival fairway that the Ferris Wheel the roller coaster the Freakshow and the House of Mirrors were free . .  the Bouncing intermittentPounding began

the woman behind him . . 

                           . . which was unfortunate – fingers pointed – Whadaya expect? She’s a woman. (it didnt matter to those men who pointed that if Mitochondrial Eve hadnt evolved developed a voicebox helped articulate sound articulate language helped improve communication  that they could possibly have remained dumb knuckledragging brutes and only able to point their abraded fingers  unable to pronounce Whadaya expect shes a woman) – which was unfortunate  but more unfortunate because she was sitting directly behind himclutching haplessly at his seat back moaninghowling Oh God oh God oh Godplease Please pleasepleaseplease Please don’t let me die don’t take me  I don’t want to die!

there were choruses behind her other women and men

he saw her come aboardhe saw most everyone come aboard he was seated in First Class

he felt like a pretender

he didnt fly First Class

his seat was upgraded by the powers that be

the Gate assumed he wouldnt mind

she must have been omniscient

he would have guessed the howling woman was in her late fortiesearly fifties well-dressed well-coiffured bejeweled  she carried a little dog carrier with a little dog as prissy as she was inside it the dog had the aisle seat beside her

when her crying and pleading began he thought Are you fuckin kiddin me Appears youve done alright for yourselfhad a good runbetter than most Howbout you set aside your greed and just be thankful for what youve enjoyed rather than twistinginaknot because you think its ending convinced its ending  Because   IT AINT

she was ruining his joyride 

                             he halfturned in his seat and over his headrestover her clenched white fingers to either side of it he said Appears you dont care for rollercoaster rides eh his imagination parked the Tunnel of Love at his elbow Me me Hey me Me Howbout me  Awright  Me

nothing came back 

                    her mouth was agape  soundless or rather she was sounding at a dog whistle frequency because the bitch in the seat beside her began whining crying barking

Then if not a rollercoaster howbout crazy sex in a dark Tunnel of Love he winked  Love was satisfied  or before the nuts mirrors in the House of Mirrors he ticked off Love  Mirrors Mirrors What are you talking about mirrors SHADDUP Givin the House of Mirrors a shout-out yamind

she remained mouthopen soundless bugeyed face contorted  though still perfectly coiffured she had placed her order

the plane lunged againshimmied

stomachs rose

there was sputtering  wet paper bags  smell in the cabin behind him 

then a BAM shudders  a slight wiggle  

                                            then SUDDENLY the craft was like hot knife slicing butter the 737 leveled off 
it was keen again

the hysterics began to subside

now that everyone could hear they might hear the rosary beads and prayer beads slowly cease clicking

the mewling quieted 

then

      YES. GOD. I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T LET ME DIE. I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T LET ME DIE. 

he turned again to herover his shoulder  he laughed dismissively then he said Evidently not this time Or mebbejust mebbe He was sparing me Doesnt always hafta be about youdoes it lady

turning backfacing forward he said to himself Yaint even going to thank Him your Gawd  No thanks    JesusChrist

1254,  Thursday,  16  5. 19

1231,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  5  6. 19

The Box Tops  The Letter  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQaUs5J2wdI

Christ  a drone a fucking drone  war is being vetted really over an unmanned flying machine that Iran shot down          ouch   idiocy

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/trump-iran-escalating-hostilities-heighten-war-worries-62383173516

0009,  Reggae Friday,  21  6. 19

he smiled as she rolled around the corner in the pickup 

itd been a physical dayhe sweat like a pig but in the back of his mindsmiling as he was smiling now he knew that she loved his smellhis musk smiling how she liked to lay with him for a while before she let him shower

then shed put fresh sheets on the bed for them to muss up that night after beers  after dinner  after talkingplaying cut-upswatching a film   maybe porn just to prime their gizmos 

she protested I don’t have a gizmo . .

. . OH you do  And you go apeshit when Im at it

shed screw up her face then concede Then it’s your gizmo; I got another name for mine.      

as she rolled up he saw she wasnt returning his wolfsmile Whas up babe he asked as he walked out onto the street to the drivers side to give her a kiss

I’m sorry.

Gimme a kiss Ive been thinking of you all day long to get through it and I want a kiss before we fall to fix whas troubling you Awright

Alright, baby.

they kissed deeply a kiss that promised more and more kisses gentle touches and strokes and embraces

he climbed in beside her had to love a woman who could drive stick Now love an Im not making light of it but  whasda hubbub bub

she smiled immediatelythe concern momentarily evaporating from her face Bub. I love when you call be Bub, when you call me pet names.

Aw baby cant help myself I love you inside an out  Now lets get that glowerthat odd doom off your face  Aint nothing we cant handle together

I love you.

An thats a foreboding start I love you too

she cast a quiet look at him

Just say it tell me whasup   

I found an cassette in the glove box and driving over I threw it in. she sniffed I couldn’t stop listening to it. I knew you didn’t leave it; you wouldn’t have left it in the truck.

I think you don’t know it exists.

he watched her face as she spoke her strength falling away Yawanna pull over let me drive

No. I’m okay. I . . I don’t want you to think I violated our trust, your trust in me.

You wouldnt Not knowingly

No. Not knowingly.

Then youve done nothing wrong

The tape .. listening to it . . I couldn’t stop myself – she suddenly pulled the truck over to the curb and began to weep – I feel terrible. It was terrible. I don’t know why she made it, why she would make such a tape.

She 

She   My wife

Yes

Yes. 

It’s heartbreaking. I couldn’t stop listening, I couldn’t stop feeling, feeling the emotions in her words, how she spoke, cried. My heart began to break. Then I stopped, had to stop, turned it off.

he looked at the dash

he could see that the cassette flip was depressed  the tape still in the machine

Im gonna run it back to the beginning babe  that way theres no new surprises for you . .

. . I’m so sorry!

Its awright

I’m terribly sorry.

Its awright baby

I’m terribly sorry for you. For her.

Sawright love Its awright  

Pull over to the side of the road

when she had he reached over and turned the key in the ignitionkilling the engine

he dropped his hand onto hers in her lapshe grabbed his with her other handheld onto him as if he was going to go leavedisappear

they sat like that  looking into each others eyes

he leaned towards her  I dont have a clean handkerchief for your eyes  he wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb  There love Itll be fine  Itl be fine   Fine

Muhmy heart  aches

Ssh  Itll be fine  Let the water still Remember  Let it still until you can see your face in it  Breathe  Concentrate on your breathyour face reflecting in the water  Quiet  Quiet   Quietly Sssh

When youre ready  start the tape

when she finally played the tape the sun was setting the amberhue filled the cab lighting her beautiful face highlighting her hazel eyes prying at its green flints she was so somber sober   finally playing the tape snippets of songs his wifes monotonous voice deadpan  over refrains  other times obliterating lines grimdesperate bites  accusations

You don’t love me.   

How can you love me?  

after several minutesminutes of torment  he stopped the tape . . 

. . There’s more.

Yes  You heard more

Yes.

And it continues on like this

Yes.

I dont think we need to listen to any more right now

No.

No

Are you okay

Are you okay?

I am 

Youll remember I told you she was rendered  rendered by prescription drugs

Who you heard wasnt the womanwasnt Cece who I married

You heard Cece a product a terrible misfortunate product of chemical violation  therapeutic violation 

The psychiatrist prescribed 

The psychologist went along with it

As I told you I  we  the girls had no recourse not according to the legal papers Cece signed as they wanted  and they then recorded and filed  Legally nice and tidy 

                                                  They had their docile addled guinea pig

Please dont listen to what she says and condemn her

They broke her

Cece then was a broken woman love  They broke her like a porcelain doll

she began to cry  I feel so terrible for her, for you, the girls; that you two endured what you did.

Perhaps not appropriate but thank you Thank you  Its many years ago now  

Nothing can change it

Nothing

he took her chin in his hand  gently turned her head to face him  he looked in her eyes I have you in my life

I love you

morning,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  6. 19

1536,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  6. 19

Ghostpoet  (We’re) Dominoes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeSAHo9pSYk 

Freak show  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUnqfB8PfzA

the maid woke him I am sorry she said you did not hang the Do not disturb sign on your door.

he rubbed at the sleep in his eyes 

he was still drunk

                    the door swung in and left a dresser was immediately to its right the bed was in sixseven steps green black tiled floor a throw rug beside the bed

a 1.75 glass liter of Black Jim Beam lay on its side

he drank enough that much didnt spill

the maids eyes went directly to it 

                                   then curiously  sympathetically her eyes turned to himmet his

he smiled at her he mumbled Confusion and anger arent attractive are they  atleast  not first thing in the morning 

Ill take care of this 

That’s my job, mister.

Thats your job if Im a slob Im not If youll leave a rag a towel some solution  its not much Ill clean it up lickety-split when I finally drag my assexcuse me my fanny out of bed  Please

If you like.

I like 

I apologise for not getting upstanding while addressing you properly person to person Ive taken it upon myself to decide you wouldnt appreciate that

You funny man, mister.

Ive been told Im sorry youve had a glimpse at my sorry statehowever let me assure you were allowed an evening of self pity  get it behind us  then rise move forward

I hadnt expected to rise just now

she smiled Yes, mister.

Thank youwhas your name

Ysabel.

Ysabel Thank you Ysabel Youre the bestlooking alarm to ever awaken me Thank you

she smiled broadly covered her mouth with her hand . .

. . Nono dont cover your mouth  You have a beautiful smile Ysabel

Thank you, mister.

Youre welcome

If youll leave a towel a rag an solution Ill be out of your hair until later

Should I hang the Do not disturb sign on the door?

If you would Ysabel Thank you Im glad one of us is thinking   Ill catch up

another wide beautiful smile she didnt cover her mouth white teeth radiant against mocha skin    

she left the items on the dresser and backed outnodding as she went Rest, mister.

I will Ysabel Thank you I will

she snugged the door closed locked it he could hear her fumble with a Do not disturb placard  then it was quiet

he snatched the tipped Beam by the neck and took a long pull Aaah his drunkenness sighed when he took it from his mouth

on a small café table on the other side of the bed were two wrapped glasses  above them a small unused ice bucket  when he got up into the roomstarted drinking he wasnt parsing the whiskey its gurgle would eventually mask and take the words out of his ears

he said Im not hiding I havent gone missing

Yeah? Well, you ain’t present.

Present

You ain’t present . .

. . I aint been present according to you and whoeveryour intimates Im not here to meet your standards  I havent set standards for you nor would I 

Back off

You dont wanna get hurt for your effortsyour biases An you know I dont mind hurting people Not your way but your ways always been milquetoast in regards to mine 

Thats the difference between where an how we grew up

Affluence versus handtomouth

Mebbe I should have chosen my parents better 

Accidents of our births Where youre bornwho youre born to Colour of your skin  Race  Ethnicity 

Like any of us were in command of that crapshoot

Nothing huh

If I need your help Ill ask

Otherwise

Fuckin leave me be

This is my burden

Ill hump it in the manner I want

I dont step in your shit

Dont step in mine

      

0809,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  19  6. 19

1057,  Day-between-Two Ts,  19  6. 19

he wanted a ring to wear

                         what was he thinkingwhat was his mother thinking 

she went up to her bedroomhis parents bedroom to her jewelry box and returned with a ring

I suspect it’ll be big for you now; but you’ll grow into it.

it was a silver metal ring

its face was fashioned into a block V

she said it was a ring she bought during the war

she bought it as a girl from among kinds of jewelry that was made by disabled and disfigured war veterans 

her purchase benefitted them

the stark V represented Victory  the victory America expected  for America  for the Allies  in Europe  and in the South Pacific

he wore it religiously for threefour months 

                                            he couldnt remember now

he came in from outside for dinner

                                    and washing his hands to his horror it slipped from his finger and went down the drain

his parents called him to dinner  It can wait they said

it couldnt wait for him

the lavatory a commode and sink were just off the kitchenjust beyond the kitchen dinner table

his family ate

he wouldnt eat that night because he wasnt seated when his father sat

once his father sat if a child was late getting into the house for dinner they didnt eat

while his family had dinner he went down to the basement and gathered the pliers and wretches he might need to remove the sink trap

he placed a plastic bucket under the trap to catch the standing water of course

the water dumped brightly into the white plastic

the water dumped

                    the ring did not fall out

somehow it eluded the trap

made its way to the sewer

it was lost

he wasnt into jewelry since

1402,  Monday,  10  6. 19

1141,  Thursday,  13  6. 19

Ghostpoet  X Marks the Spot  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D_0W7qRPJQ