black Irish coffee this morning

                          

Pepper Adams Blackout Blues played on the computer in front of him while behind him indie and Miss Octoberferalborn cats played with a brokeopen laidflat Amazon cardboard box

the warmed whiskey vapours roiled himmade him fixate again  again  on his indignation(he dated himself) that the movie theatre didnt give him a ticket when he saw Blade Runner 2049 

instead it gave him a receipt

                        he took the damn receipt up an inclined large postered hallway to an usher who was fixed in a wheelchair(BRAVO muthafucker BRAVO  Good for you! – theres a lot of people doing far less while having considerably morevitally more than you) 

the usher took his receipt read off it that he was there to see Blade Runner and told him it was playing on Screen Seven(the theatre housed twelve screens and a bar) Theatre Seven is down the aisle to your right on the righthand side
then brisklyadeptly tore halfway through the receipt  

obviously he wouldnt be able to use it again or to sneak into another film(despite the datethe timethe screenthe seat where he was to sit was printed on it)

he mused

        he rolled back on his 50s Steelcase chair opened the desk drawer pulled out a rusted antique Allenburys Pastilles tin opened it and fingered two ticket stubs  they were from the Roxy Theatre in Missoula Montana  he dated them with a red Bic ballpoint July 1977  they were cherished keepsakes  more so now that his datelater his wife was dead 

he remembered they were running latein a bit of a panic  they sped up 93 from Hamilton in a tan nine-passenger ’73 Dodge Coronet Crestwood stationwagonChrist the room inside it

it was his pride 

he bought the wagon the prior fall in Marengo Illinois to make the roadtrip west  midOctober 

when he could see the Rockies on the blue distance horizon he pulled off to the side of the highway got out sat on the wagons hood leaning against the windshield and fired up a fat joint  he kept it in the ashtrayrolled it expressly for that moment  he celebrated seeing the mountains for the first time in his twentytwo year life

they were running late because earlier they jogged through their small neighborhood through a brief woodland to the Bitterroot for a swim

he had awakened her that morningclutched at her breasts from behind nibbled at her ear  her ears were sensitive  

the next thing he knew they were all over the bed turning each other inside out pant pantpanting laughing pushing the kittens offpushing Fatty offhis SamoyedHusky pup a birthday gift from her the first dog he ever hadpushed him off their carnal bed  

afterwards they went for a cool swim rather than take a hot shower  it was delicious 

they trotted down to the river with Fatty between them and swam in its clear twisting water they dipped themselves luxuriated in a shallow river rock pool at the Bitterroots edge where a hot springs flowed into it  

he mused Thats somethingreally something

                                 that ticket stubs could revive such beautiful memories

they shouldtheyre a physical placemarker in time

a movie should be a one-off 

they shouldnt be watched to kill timethey should be an anticipated event putting a pin in part of the sheafthe shuffle of leaves that made up ones life

majority-CGed films werent as memorable  they titillated of course but reminded him of Pavlovian dogs
not memorable  conditioned

however it might be that he was just well lubricated by whiskeyOhbullshit   he rememberedhe could unravel the looselywoven occasionally-knotting braids of his long memory  he never wound them too tight or restricted them  if he had he feared it might strangle itself as it thrashed denied of warm sunlight of bruised moonlight of the brisk breath of refreshing reviving  blue air

                             he mused to Peppers Blackout Blues

0925,  Sunday,  22 10. 17

0858,  Monday,  23 10. 17

Blackout Blues  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlqOakP-qr0

Usher  Yeah(off Confessions)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGXZOQ8yTU4

four crows cawed cawcawed at him from their perch atop the crossbeam of an electrical pole

he had just lit a corncob pipe fingered with Black Jack tobacco

maybe they knew earlier that week his kid brother had been diagnosed with lung cancer

Baked in the pie he hollered at the black chorus(he favored pie to cake)

baked in he conceded not a damn thing anyone can do

senescence

folded in genetically

                (they licked the slick off their fingers of the batter that remained in the ceramic bowlabout the only time and way he liked cake  there was nothing to lick when the pie crust madesifted flour powdering the waxpaper)

he took the pen from behind his right ear

his hair was finally long enough to help hold it

he had a couple of weeks before his girlfriend would say Isnt it about time you got your hair cut

she preferred his hair short When its long it hides your handsome face

handsome 

an inducementa delicate coercion

flattering

he wasnt budged by flattery                      

he liked to please her though

it didnt matter to himnot really  he couldnt even call it a compromisea concession  

there was a reward  it piqued her sexuallyshe mauled him unmercifully

unmercifully he mauled her in return

he bound her  tugged her hard nipplesouch  had his wayevery way he wantedfor the price of a haircut

a worthwhile bargain

when he slipped the pen from behind his ear

right hand to right ear

                 the suddennessthen passing it into his left hand unnerved the murder and they cawcawed andatonce lifted into the blue sunlit air as if pulled up on invisible strings puppets snide puppetspuppets taunting his brothers cancer  troubling him that maybe his healthhis life would be threatened by pipe tobacco

yah  something was going to kill him

it wasnt going to be tobacco

a murder of birds didnt incline him to think otherwise

he was firstborn

he robbed the topshelf because he could

there wasnt a moment of pause or regret

if one went before him he would have expected slim pickings

there were no guarantees or assumptions anyone was going to follow behind him

he took whatever provisions he could carry that were necessary to provide for himself as he headed into an untread unknown way

who could fault him for his preparedness
                           only those who might later follow him later into the holdthe lard  the depleted stock

he had no guilt

he had empathy

No  you cant eat or survive on empathyits better to have than accept 

1449,  Saturday,  21  10. 17

senescence: the condition or process of deterioration with age       

Grahan Moncur III  Exploration  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N7O5d3JokJw