he took his beer and books(wanderlust the buried giant mythago wood anti-intellectualism in american life) outside into a pleasant wind

looking north and east he saw the dull grainygray gauze of ash and smoke of forest fires still untamed 

               untamed

just like us to think we can tame anything                            

we can certainly put our fingers in a pie

start a fire

cause exquisite mayhem

remain unrepentant

eventually we can clearcut bombard it with water and chemicals  eventually assisting the beast to extinguish itself

provide hospice

yeah   Tame

he took his beer and books outside to escape the telephone  to put a brief hold on their off-and-on conversations that beaded a slender chain of the better part of two hours  

he rationalised(really  really  she was doing fine on her own) helped her confirm her suspicions that the nonprofit she worked for was profiting handsomely possibly profiting its Board(cream rises) but definitely the executive and a select minion  they were systematically bilking(she preferred defrauding) state agencies who were too ponderous too understaffed too underfunded to afford regulators to sift through the mire and minutia determine who the bad actors are and run forensic accounting on their books         

the crux of their conversationhis alarm was her stress  not only that she was enduring this now-unfolding uncertain certainty but also her misfortune of contendingconstantly and consistently with her overseers rebuffing their courses which had over the past year borne her out readily confirming her grit and acumen  unfortunately though to her disadvantage affecting her physically  she was struggling with a yet-identified if-ever-to-be-identified immune disorder
he guarded her jealously sternly warned her(not that she didnt know or didnt grasp its reality) that the last thing she needed in her life was more stress

I understand your passion your hatred – not typically your forte -- of those who try to play you a fool

she received a text forwarded by a coworker from the executive officer just after she had confronted him about their recently deployed and terribly improbable scheduling  she told him that it ran afoul of labor lawslaws she had cursory knowledge of but possiblyquite frankly other laws too

she asked if she could forward the text to him so he could read it and give her his thoughts 

:  Ah yes – an undoing when when a Trust is broken - a resource when it provides:bestows gifts and opportunities . Onto another learning and maturation curve.

he texted her that it lacked context(was poorly written) that she couldnt assume it was in regards to her  its context could only be grasped if she read the text her coworker sent  then the executive replied

he texted a second time:  It is ambiguous. HA! Interesting.(inside joke)

she texted:  my chest tho holy shit.

:  Thinking Swedish(hospital) before it gets worse?

:  i can’t yet.

:  Can’t ?

   Can’t breathe . . . really tough to finish out a day.

then :  Heart?

       Heart don’t beat ..  . really tough to finish out a day

:  ha.

:  I didn’t mean either as a joke, as I know you know . . .I understand the job, you spent the morning adamant about how you were being treated.

How are you treating yourself any different?

he didnt expect hed hear from her for a while

he took his beer and books outside

he didnt hear from her until later that evening

she called

she wasnt well

1816,  Friday,  13  10. 17

1132,  Saturday,  14  10. 17

collusion   howdthat make him feel

 

                              in the exact moment it revealed itself he was angry
anthensuddenly humoured he almost laughed  he literally had to bite his tongueliterally to keep from tipping his hand  corporates intentions stumbled in dumbly like domino pieces falling over each other  he would opt to play a very minor role in their shlock B-drama  a minor role?!  yes taking a bit-part  they wanted himclamoured for him to be their lead  awshucks no  he wouldnt be able to play the part   hed stick with a cameo performance

cameo 

the instant the snitch came through the automatic doors at the front of the store he recognised him

he was disturbedmomentarily  then he flipped like an adept gymnastfeigned a jovial enthusiasm  bemused now by their audacity  amused by their foolhardiness
this was going to be fun
  
he leapt into his old softshoes scattered sand improvised he played his bit to the hilt right up to when the snitch approached him with his purchase and said Im ready now(do snitches think customers walked up to clerks and say Im ready now – like a woman tipped off by her basal thermometershe better get on the stick(is that how that phrase came to be))  to which he replied Great my coworker Karla at the register will be happy to help you

                                                                      Uh-Oh that wasnt in the script
Whassa snitch to do  Is he gonna whinetip his hand But I want you to help me  Dont think so  Nope  Cant be that obvious when youre a snitch

itd only been two weeksONLY two weeks

but maybe what corporate didnt knowmaybe what the snitch didnt know was that his manager unwittingly outed the snitch(he did lack certain abilities) 

his manager showed him the securityvideo footage and from that stark glimmeringa stop-action frame he IDd himhe committed his ratface to memory  an one thing he never let pass out his memory is the face of people who meant him harm

  

then two weeksTWO WEEKS later his manager colludes with corporate to spring(?)waltz in parade the same damn snitch

now
     maybe a chimpanzee whose memory wasnt correctly reinforcedfortified with food rewards wouldnt remember himan maybe his younger coworkerslean on experience might also not remember himan that would pique him  because they should be observant(observant beyond their magicphones)  but he wasnt a chimp or young or unobservant

the snitch stalled at the counter filling out a membership card for Karla

a second customer was ready with his purchase and languished a few steps behind the bent snitch  Sir he said  Ill be happy to help you at the next register 

it was a brilliant performance(Oscar!)  he touched all the bases corporate would want touched 

he was cool as a cucumber

he ignored the desperate skewed glaring klieglight of the snitchs peepers on himhanging on his every word hopefully that something audio might be inappropriate  dingable

the snitch was trying hardspying hard   no dings today baby

No dings today!

Not one 

No ding-a-ling a-lings today! 

snitch left emptyhanded – except for his purchase when he finished scribbling and took the receipt Karla offered

collusion   howdthat make him feel

Well  honestly (theyd say Its only business)  he understood only one person can have your back  can help you

only he could do for himself

aint a soul who knew him bettercould fight harder

          Id like to thank the Members of the Academy
    

1152,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  11  10. 17
1318, Thursday,  12  10. 17

she damnnear knocked him off his pins

 

he cleared his throat while trying to put down the riot careening inside his skull bottlerockets ricochetingexploding a caustic riot buying him a sliver of timeenough time to size up her remarksize it up in reference to boys sixth grade boys punks  the kind of punks that when he was a kid would have been brokengot their punkness beat out of the them  adults would threaten them   but theyd get beat by schoolkids older boys  he granted his optics werent commiserate with the time  he grew up in a different time a different city  in a different social climate

when he could finally speak he barkedhis voice brokeYou said  irredeemable

I did  They are irredeemable

Theyre sixthgraders

Yes  Irredeemable sixthgraders  Make no mistake  Weve contended with them for years and cant seem to impress them or even separate them

Their parents

Their parents are moving targetstheres a parent . . 
 . . Their mothers

Yes  Mothers

And what about their fatherstheir biological fathers

Long gone  if ever present

I hear you say that with some  heaviness

Between you and I  Ive known of more spermdonors than have actually met  Or fathers   You shouldnt shake your head you really have to understand that you come to this while having been a fatheryour children having two parents committed parents  You have to be able to throw that away when regarding these boys  Those circumstances have never existed for them  Not these boys

Its harsh  But they are irredeemable

he heard her  though was still distractedremained in his head trying to tie a knot around irredeemable trying to slap down its sidelong Im-too-busy glimpse as she spoke  a glimpse now all-too-commondistraction all-too-commonpeople unable to keep their attention  far too-common

it seemed the country was languishing  insipid   growing more callous 

yet hed still argue all life was pricelessargue vociferously against those who called it cheap(their lives werent cheap  others lives were)

he argued that technology was helping assuage their beliefs  like a cheap fix 

he was offensive on purpose

he readily brandishing a fix  mainlining  skin-popping   werent people staring only into screens they wanted to see SCREAMINGscreens that upheld supported their views  But who  who was SCREAMING?

he watched the awful light play on their faces  patterned  recirculating   regurgitated 

he watched a lot of people stumblescuff their toesscrap their soles on the streets coarse uneven concrete

Aw comon he wanted to warn them  Pick up your feet while you walk

but he would 

he was liberal  

he wasnt hurt when others tried to use it as a cudgel against him warning him Thats not the hill to die on

No he replied  If not it then what hill

he had to live with himself

he knew right from wrongwhat was true  he couldnt help but do what was right  he couldnt subvert it

he conceded people had their reasons  that they wouldnt concede a damn thing was one of them

Hear ye! Hear ye! irredeemable Ladies and Gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Moms and Dads! Step right up! Step right this way!he was a carnival barker wearing a garish red-an-white striped suit Step on up! Step right this way! he had a long black cane that he used when irredeemable pushers greedy to be first in line tried to get ahead of the resthe stuck it in the middle of their chests and shoved them back hardNotsofast! Not  so  fast! You have to wait your turn Allingoodtime Wait your turn an all in good time boys! and when shoving them back didnt belay them he cracked them on the sides of their thick bony skulls irredeemable  sounded like empty gourd Stepbackboys Step back! You have to wait your turn an ifn you cantifn you wont Ill take this cane here and smash yer skulls till theres eggyolk everywhere Hear ye! Hear ye! Step right up! Step right up!

All in good time boys!


All  in  good  time!  
he hoped he wasnt becoming immune

2300,  Sunday,  8  10. 17

1521,  Twosday,  10  10. 17

Emerson Lake and Palmer  Welcome Back My Friends  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VsifANR96s