If it aint Medusa Ill eat my fuckin hat(dont wear a hat so thats an empty threat – dont let that distrack you -- Im all about threats  I can take em  an make em)   

its cumbersome 

         Medusa on the floor  though she averts her gazeher withering-stone gaze while her head of snakes coil an twine snarl an hiss

I irritate them

           an they seem irritated with her that she doesnt or wont fulfill her  her wha    her taskher predilection 

if she doesnt feel it why should she

obviously I would be on her side(if she has sides)  you wouldnt think their protests coming up out of the ochre-tiled bathroom floor could be incendiary or threatening  but they are  their threats roll up my pant legs shiver an prickle my skin an I cant help but wonder why Medusa doesnt lift her headlook up at me with her eyes  stricken me

but I cantI wont look away   

I am aware as I mop the floor time an time again since Ive recognised her visage that her threat remains  that she could easily in an abrupt moment lift her eyes an fix meice me transfigure me into stone  a cheap way to become statuary no Michelangelo wiping his brow in the humid Mediterranean heat sweatingsuffering his hammer blowsangry bits of broken marble biting him   

I understand her despairher loathsomeness  she married Poseidon and infuriated Athena and Athena a greater goddess condemned Medusa to her monstrous life  a lifean adoration begat in love 

love can do that

love can be everything you never imagined  and then in its worse connotations or infliction 

you wouldnt think so

                 your idealism doesnt allow you to think so

but who is truly thinking when first falling in love who has the capacity to annihilate the tender colourful blossom of love with the black blade of reason  rationale

we dont think love has chains  or bitter lashes

                                  it isnt dark  consumptive   demoralising

perhaps thats why Medusa doesnt render me 

her physicality complexion dont put me off  or do I abhor her   she seems to recognise my compassion

thin ice?

         I hope not

1919,  Friday,  18  8. 17

1531,  Sunday,  20  8. 17

Seven Mary Three  Cumbersome  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjNn4bbbgSw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGrm3WgzFPI

OH  This is so nice that you called

Nicewha the hell  You say it as if I never call

he could imagine his mother on the wall telephone from above the kitchen counter beside the window that overlooked their backyard

it seemed an uncomfortable place to talk on the phone  tethered   when just behind her to her leftthe livingroom  an overstuffed chair ottoman side table  a nice place to drop your fanny and talk    

No You call  Youre just never home when we callit goes to your message machineyou screen your calls

I screen my callsyes  Youre not suggesting that while screening my calls I refuse to pickup when you or Dad call

Well  No  Im just saying when we call during the dayyou work nights  our calls go to voicemail

You go to voicemail
because Im not home

You just admitted to screening your calls

When Im home

When Im not home telephone calls go to voicemail    Because I am not home

You screen your calls

Yes  I do

Itd be nice Maw to call and shoot the shit(Dont swear  You were raised better than that)  ah  bullshit without being interrogated as a child might

                       however  then without your interrorgation youd have to concede you were talking to me as an adult  and I suppose why would you want to have a level playing field  converse with me as an equal

You are  We Are  after all  After All  my  Your  folks  Parents   

and what of the elders who Ive never metwho I dont know from Adam or Evenot to mention Lilith that feel due mydeserve my respect

Immediate respect

My  immediate  respect

Sorry 

What rock did they crawl out from under

Two way street

Mutual respect

he was in grade school when he dropped that ineptthat hopeless steaming pile of horseshit

Respect is earned                                

Its not tithes provided on the grounds the ugly gamut that you owe it to them because they were born before you 

Thats inspired ignorance  Just begs trouble

Sometimes I dont know where your thinkingthis  odd way of thinking comes from

Its mine from being derided on the basis of my youth My words werent heard  They werent listened to solely because I was young

Have the conversation

Fresh eyesnew eyes on old problems

Seems to me that that perspective would have value  Would be worth the minute to listen rather than just dismiss out of hand

You werent raisedwe didnt raise you that way

No  I learned that way

I learned that way as a chick does when its pushed out its nest to make room for the next hatchling the next hatchlingand the next

My younger brothers and sisters necessarily needed helpyour help  They were too young then to make a go of it on their own

Thats how I came up   Apparently  and utterly without you being aware all these years  Which could be my fault because I could function and did function well enough without the necessity of your attention

What do you expect me to say

Nothing  Theres nothing to be said  Thats how it was  Water long gone under the bridge  Im not bitter  I get a little angsty when you play your Thats-not-how-you-were-raised card  You wanna play that with the other kids  they let you treat them like kids  Have at it   But not with me

Awright

What do you want me to say

sigh I want to talk to you as an adult   One adult to another

Anif you gotta   just pretend Im a fucking stranger

You . .

. . Yes  Yes I was   Save the fiction

I dont know where your father is(his mothers leverage)

he could see her looking out the window at the fresh mowed lawn  the telephone cord stretched long its coils barely apparent

Hes outside fidgeting with something

He was cutting the lawnI thought it was too wet   I dont heard the mower though

Maybe hes tracking a wild hare

What

Tracking a wild hare

A rabbit

Or hes got a wild hair   up his ass

What did you say

I said he might be tracking a wild hare  h-a-r-e  or has a wild hair  h-a-i-r  up his ass

thank gawd she laughed

Im going to tell him you said so

It was clever  You better     I work later this evening so please tell him if hed like to call back hell have to reach me at the latest quarter to 7 your time

I will

Very good  I love ya Maw

I love you too son

son

always to be the son

never a man

not in their eyes

odd concept

           his daughters were women

 

1427,  Friday,  18  8. 17

1405,  Saturday,  19  8. 17

Cat Stevens  Father and Son