De Profundis  Georg Trakl  he died of a cocaine overdose in Krakow Poland more than one hundred years ago   

De Profundis was translated from German by Michael Hamburger to whom he was introduced(alleviating him of his personal O-blivion) by The Rings of Saturns WG Sebald(what we write owns us – not the other way around)

in its text Trakl wrote On my forehead cold metal forms.

Spiders look for my heart.

There is a light that fails in my mouth.

At night I found myself upon a heath.

Thick with garbage and the dust of stars.

In the hazel copse

Crystal angels have sounded once more.                  

(he would like to hear it recited in German)  

De Profundis means from the depths and is associated with Psalm 130s incipit(the practise of referring to texts by their initial words)

while he could refer to De Profundisread its words  consider them  quote them

he could never have written them

he might occasionally turn his eyes to despair to watch it  but while watching he backpedaled put ground between him and It

      

Despair wants victimswants Its redmeat 

                              the gore  

Despair is a slow cancer it is an attitude of waiting and if one is forced to act desperately their desperation provides little room to exercise raSHəˈnal

like Everyone(he thinks  he thinks others think like himhopes they think like him  it is his Idealism thinking its winning out  Its not  It tinges his perspective)  it is good to balancebe aware of the Dark and the Light aware of the slivered spectrum running from polar blackest-white to polar whitest-black  to try to embrace truly  moderation   to be as perfectly Grey as possible while knowing nothing Human is perfect

so while he can spy on despair  see it  realeyes it  he keeps it on a distant horrorizon and lives his life beyond the reach of its shadow

                 beyond the heath Thick with garbage and the dust of stars

0957, Thursday,  3  8. 17

https://publicdomainreview.org/2017/07/27/out-from-behind-this-mask/

http://library.princeton.edu/libraries/firestone/rbsc/aids/C0770/

the naked piece of paper the naked computer screenboth embarrassed by their nakednessaccusing What are you looking at and clutchingtrying desperately to hide their bodies from prying eyes  or eyes they felt ogled them

when he was young boy he would have had sympathy for themhe shared that embarrassment of being naked  its odd fear a tingly thing that was at once uncomfortable and titillating  embarrassing and provocative                                                                             then he found he exceled in athleticism  and developing his body developing his skills he fit and conformed to his body  made it his tool  

his embarrassment slipped away 

his provocation endured 

a body is a body is a body 

Everyone has one

he fingered his red BIC pen and clothed the embarrassed page

he pounded away at the keyboard and let the letters and sentences and oddshaped paragraphs fall and cobbled themscraps of fabric to conceal the shame of the electricwhite computer page

both gushing Thank you  both alleviated physically and emotionally   Ah  Clothed  I feel so much better

Thank you

Youre welcome  Too bad you werent around when I was younger  I would have taken you around to teenage parties that were held while so-and-sos parents were away on vacation or away for the evening Man those were the bestnot knowing when the wheels would come off the ride enraged parents storming through their house kicking out strange kidsWho the fuck are you  Once had an outraged mothershe was hot scream that at me  I said  Who do you want me to be baby  she was the one who brought up fucking  I was just trying to finish my can of Old Style before it got warmId finished off a doobie with her daughter fifteen twenty minutes before the place got guttedhad she come into the den five minutes earlier she would have found me with my hand in her daughters panties  to her daughters pleasure  to my pleasure my cock in her mouth  Timing  Timings underrated  But as I was saying if I had you coming around with me to those parties you would have had to do in Rome as the Romans did and what me and a few buddies did was streak those parties  we pulled ski masks over our heads and raced naked through the house called it blitzkrieg  it was no sweat  we cased the house learned its ins and outs  and when the vibe was rightenough dope smoked enough booze drank enough inhibitions snuffed  the fuck  exhibition is the next order of business  Ive never wagged my cock in so many faces sincestole kisses copped feels 

Youdve loved it

I would have made you love it

And youdve stopped this nonsensebullshit of being ashamed of your body

Why

Because Everyones got a fucking body

1139,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  2  8. 17

Led Zeppelin  Whole Lotta Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bcIjILqORM